A/N: A bit late, mostly because I've been writing, editing, erasing, and rewriting scenes for Ravenstar.
This chapter didn't come out quite like I expected, with a few twists even surprising me. I hope you enjoy it!
I would like to give a big thanks to Galyax and MOSTLYmozart for their ideas, which have contributed greatly to this chapter.
Chapter Four: In Which Fluorescent Pink Robes Make a Guest Appearance
Dumbledore rose from his seat, gently tapping his goblet with a spoon to call the room to attention. "I would like to make an announcement. Is everyone present? Everyone is here? Good." He twinkled.
"I've heard some... Controversy and debate on my... Intentions.
"To say the least these allegations have concerned me. I feel these misconceptions need to be cleared up before they get blown out of proportion even more so than they already have. If you would all look to my left?"
The students watched as Dumbledore conjured an image of- Dumbledore.
"Now please look to my right."
A second image of Dumbledore appeared.
"Now as you can clearly see, the image on my right is the image of a good Dumbledore, while the image on my left is of an evil, mean Dumbledore.
"As you can also clearly see, I most resemble the right image, not the left image." He beamed around the room. "I want you all to understand, the welfare of the students, and indeed the wizarding world, has always come first for me.
"I hope this has cleared things up. Thank you for your patience!" Dumbledore settled himself back in his seat, dishing up a serving of treacle tart.
The students exchanged confused looks and muttered softly to each other as they filed out of the Great Hall, completely forgetting about dessert. The two images the headmaster had conjured looked identical, from their flamboyant robes and their blindingly white beards right down to their vaguely pointy shoes.
Draco gave derisive snort. "That old fool has finally lost it. Just wait until I write my father about this!"
"But Draco, he's the headmaster." Crabbe muttered.
"Your point?" Draco snapped. He sighed. "Haven't we had this argument a hundred times by now?"
"Er, I think so." Crabbe said.
Draco sighed, rubbing his forehead. "What a pathetic story our lives have become."
"Huh?" Goyle frowned in thought. "We're a story?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "It's metaphorical, Greg."
He received a blank look.
"A metaphor about our lives. Like the story, the lives, the three Fates spin."
Now both of his goons were giving him confused looks. "You know, the Fates? The Fates of Greek mythology?"
Draco swore their blank stares only intensified, if that was even possible. "Do you two even know what a metaphor is?"
"Isn't that a dish at dinner?" Greg asked.
"Oh, for the love of- Just forget it." Draco snarled, snapping out the password to their common room. "Great, now I've got a migraine for my efforts." Why was he always surrounded by idiots? He made a mental note to look for new friends.
"You boys have a seat. Would you like some tea? A lemon drop perhaps?" Albus puttered around his office.
"No-" George said.
"-thank you-" Fred added.
"-Headmaster." George finished.
The twins exchanged looks. They both knew the risk of taking candy from other people- after all they were the masters of prank food- but the risk was doubly dangerous where the headmaster was concerned. They were sure he put something in his food...
"Are you quite sure?" The headmaster smiled encouragingly.
"Yes, sir."
"We've brought-"
"-our own-"
"-snacks."
"Yes, yes, of course you did!" He settled himself behind his desk. "How has your business been doing?"
"Fine, sir." Fred said.
"May we ask," George said.
"-why we're here-"
"-Sir." They both chorused.
Albus chuckled, "all in due time, Messrs Weasley. How have your Cackling Cookies been selling? I must say I found them quite ingenious and wouldn't mind ordering some for the teacher meetings."
"Of course, sir." George said.
"But we-" Fred began.
"-must really get-"
"-back to the-"
"-shop."
"We left it-"
"-in the questionable-"
"-hands of-"
"-one clerk."
Albus sighed and slumped in his chair, suddenly looking decades older, which the twins had to admit was quite impressive considering the headmaster's age. Albus shook his head sadly. "Where did I go wrong?"
"Er... Headmaster?" Fred asked uncertainly. The twins traded looks again. Ginny had written them earlier that week that the beloved Headmaster of Hogwarts and Defeater of Grindelwald was acting peculiar.
'Peculiar' in the Weasley family meaning barmier than a tap dancing hedgehog.
Albus gave them a Look. Neither twin was entirely sure what that Look meant, except that it probably spelled bad news- or rather Bad News.
The headmaster gave another heavy sigh, turning his gaze to study his desk, and consequently what appeared to be a brand new set of fluorescent pink robes. "I only wish I had been aware of the goings-on. Maybe I could have helped... Steered you away from the immoral path you were heading down."
George nodded towards the door while Dumbledore wasn't looking. Fred slowly rose from his seat and started edging closer to the door while George snuck towards Fawkes. If they timed this just right they could-
"Why don't you two return to your seats?" There was bit more cheer in the old man's voice once again. "We do have plenty to discuss, and I think this conversation should be done face-to-face."
They returned to their seats with looks of dread plastered onto their faces. If Ginny's letter was bad, Harry's had been horrendous. They were both pretty sure the boy was scarred for life. Fred and George would have flooed in to soothe his fragile nerves, if they hadn't been laughing so hard.
Now that the proverbial shoe was on the other foot, their foot- er, feet, it wasn't all that funny.
Albus clasped his hands together and leaned forward. "I know about your incestuous tendencies."
"Excuse me?" George said. Fred was too stunned to speak.
The headmaster sighed and shook his head, "You don't need to hide this from me! I'm here to help. I will do all I can to get you two past this."
"Si-sir..." Fred trailed off, sending a helpless look to his brother.
"We're not like that, sir." George said. Fred nodded emphatically behind him. "Fred's going steady with Angelina!" The identical head behind George's seat bobbed even faster.
Albus smiled and nodded. "Yes, your cover story I know..." He gave them a thoughtful look. "I've been thinking, it would be best if you two didn't see each other for awhile."
"SIR!" George yelled. "Are you out of your BLEEDIN' MIND? We OWN a shop TOGETHER, for CIRCE'S SAKE!"
Albus hid his backpedaling behind a smile, "Only for awhile! I think it's necessary that you two spend time apart. Gain interests the other doesn't have. We'll start out small, only a few days apart to begin with."
Fred seemed to finally pull himself together, or lose it completely. George wasn't entirely sure which. "WE'RE BOTH DATING OTHER PEOPLE! FOR GOD'S SAKE MAN, GEORGE'S IN LOVE WITH HAR-"
George slammed his elbow into his brother's gut. "Ixnay on the ecretsay!"
Albus was twinkling madly at them.
A knock sounded around the room before the office door banged open, causing the three men to turn their heads towards the door and causing the twins to send up prayers to whatever gods were listening.
"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, Draco! Good evening." Albus rose from his desk. "Won't you two please wait one moment? I just have to conclude this mee-"
"That's not necessary!" Fred almost yelled. "We were just going. The shop needs our attention, don't you know." He sent a halfhearted glare towards the Malfoys, but the headmaster had drained all joy out of everything, leaving only a strong desire to drink himself into a stupor.
As the twins quickly filed past the two blondes George leaned towards Lucius Malfoy and whispered a soft "good luck."
"Dumbledore, you've finally gone off your rocker," Lucius snapped as soon as the door closed. "I don't know how you think you can prance around this respected school with complete disregard to the centuries-old rules and think you can get away with it-"
Albus bowled right over him, "Yes, yes. I'm glad you could make it, Lucius, I know what a busy schedule you have." The headmaster ushered his new guests to two seats before returning to his desk. "There are several important matters I wish to discuss with the both of you today.
"Would either of you care for some tea? Lemon drops?" A candy dish was innocently nudged forward.
"What are-" Lucius sighed, squashing the urge to rub his temples. "No, thank you, Headmaster Dumbledore." Lucius exchanged looks with his son. Neither of them were interested in gambling with their lives; After all, everyone knew Dumbledore put something in his food.
Albus shrugged and twinkled at them as he made a cup of tea for himself.
"Why are we here, Headmaster?" Draco finally asked. While he was sure his father didn't want to cave in first, Draco wasn't particularly interested in sitting around waiting for Merlin knows how long for Dumbledore to get on with things.
Dumbledore looked sadly from one Malfoy to the other. "I'm concerned about your family life, Draco."
Draco gave him a blank look.
"About your parents' treatment of you." Albus clarified.
Draco continued to stare blankly. "My home life is quite comfortable, thankyou."
The headmaster sighed. "It is my impression that you, Lucius, may have some anger problems, that you wrongly take out on your son."
Lucius had quickly become incensed from the start of the meeting, since before the start of the meeting really, and he was trying very hard to hold on to his temper. This was ridiculous! How dare this, this- this muggle-loving fool accuse him of abusing his son! Of all the absurd things!
Steely eyes snapped with anger as Lucius glared across the desk. "I do not abuse my son, Dumbledore. If you ever insinuate such a thing ever again-"
"Now, Lucius, I didn't bring this up to upset you." Albus soothed. "I'm merely saying that I think you two have some issues and they need to be resolved. If the abuse wasn't bad enough, how you two could have a sexual relationship-!"
Draco started coughing out of nowhere.
Lucius rose slowly from his seat, fury radiating from every pore. "That is the most twisted, disgusting, vile, sickening, detestable thing I've EVER HEARD! I swear it Dumbledore, this is the end for you. Your vague attempt at sanity was hanging by a thread before, but now... I'll have you off of Hogwarts property before the week is out." Lucius snarled. "Come, Draco. Stay away from my son, you old fool." The office door was nearly torn from its hinges as Lucius stormed out with Draco, cough now turned into a full-blown hack, close behind.
Albus stared at the open door sadly, softly muttering to himself, "I didn't even get the chance to ask Lucius if he wished to spy for the Light..."
Thanks very much to those who reviewed: Lee Lee Potter, Sasuko, Tinkerpixy, Shadowzephyr, Aticia, Night-Owl123, EponineWeasley, Zai000, Shelia, sumrandumperson, Galyax, duj, bunk64, realfanficts, SC
MOSTLYmozart - I'm afraid I dear Potions professor may end up suffering even more...