DISCLAIMER: I own none of the Buffy/angel characters or universe, that is Joss Whedon's magic and magnificent creation. Joss can I please have spike? Pretty pretty please with sugar on top?

SUMMARY: Buffy has a dream about Spike. Spike writes Buffy a letter and asks a friend to deliver it for him

Chapter one: Same time, Different place

"I mean it, I gotta do this" Spike said, putting his hand up to stop Buffy from arguing.

Spike and Buffy were in the hellmouth, the amulet that Spike was wearing had destroyed all of the turok-hans, and soon, it would destroy him as well.

Buffy wrapped her fingers around Spikes as their hands slowly began to burn.

Spike looked at their hands, then into Buffy's eyes.

"I love you" she told him softly.

They were three words that Spike had always wanted to hear from her. He had fought for his soul, fought to become a better man to earn her love.

"No you don't" he said "but thanks for saying it.

The earth beneath them trembled and their hands came apart.

"Go on now, go" he said to her

"No, I'm taking you with me" buffy said as she ripped of the amulet and dragged Spike to safety.

Once they were out, Buffy turned to Spike and looked into his shining blue eyes, she had done it, she had saved him.

"I do love you" she said "please don't leave me"

Spike put his hand up and cupped her cheek, "never pet, I'll always be right here with you? He told her with a smile.

Suddenly, everything around her started to fade away

"Spike" she yelled "SPIKE". She looked around, trying to figure out where she was, and then she realized, she was in her bed, in her bedroom, in Rome.

"I was just dreaming…again" Buffy said quietly.

She hadn't saved Spike, he had died saving the world, died as a champion, and he had left her all alone, something he said he would never do.

She looked over at the clock and saw that it was 1:53am. Usually she would be out patrolling, but now she wasn't the only slayer, she had no need to go out every night. She turned her bedside lamp on and opened the draw next to her. She pulled out silver lighter, Spike lighter

"I do love you" she whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks.

--------------------------------SAME TIME: LOS ANGELES-----------------------------------

Spike was alone in his room. He was sitting at his desk with a pen in his hand and bits of paper spread out in front of him. He wanted to sleep, but he couldn't. In a few days he would be fighting off the apocalypse with Angel, but he didn't care. There was only one thing on his mind, only one thing that he cared about: Buffy. He let out a small sigh and began to write.

After a while he put the pen down and put the now folded pieces of paper into a big yellow envelope. He opened the top draw of his desk and pulled out the amulet he was wearing that day in the hellmouth. He put it in the envelope and sealed it. He didn't know if Buffy would want the amulet or not, but if he sent it to her, at least she would know it was him. He put the envelope down and picked up the phone, dialling a number he now knew off by heart.

"Hello?" a tired voice answered on the other line

"Lorne, its Spike, I know it's late, but I need your help"

"Ok" Lorne agreed, "Give me a minute and I'll be up"

"Thanks mate" Spike said as he hung up the phone.

A few minutes later, Lorne knocked on Spikes door

"thanks for coming Lorne, um, come in and sit down" Spike said, noticing the purple, green and blue stripped dressing gown that Lorne was wearing and deciding it would be safer if he didn't laugh.

"What can I do for ya sweet cakes" Lorne asked, sitting down on the couch

"I know you're not going to be here, for the big fight, and I was wondering…" spike said as he picked up the envelope from the desk "…If I don't make it, will make sure Buffy gets this" he finished, handing the envelope to Lorne

"No one can know about it though, not blue, not Wes, not Gunn, not even peaches" Spike quickly added.

Lorne sat silently, staring at the envelope in his hands, Spike watched him-hoping.

"I'll make sure she gets it" Lorne told him, looking up.

Spike let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding

"Thankyou" he told Lorne sincerely "you have no idea what this means to me".

With that, Lorne said his goodnights to Spike and headed back to his room. Spike got into bed a few minutes later, he was thinking about Buffy, his sweet slayer, and it wasn't long before he was asleep.

A/N: i know this type of story has been done before, but i don't care...i had to do it my way. feed back is appreciated and constructive critisism is always welcome...just FYI, this will totally be a spuffy story!