AN: Okay, so is what the hell is Akito anyway? He's like, half both genders and a crazy psycho freak, so from now on I think I'll just keep saying Akito is a "she". Oh well.

CHAPTER FIVE: Sun and Games

My life is good now. I have to keep saying it over and over in the hopes that I might just believe it. Life is good. I'm happy. Really happy.

I just wrote that all out and I still don't believe it. With my "father" I was happy, I guess, but other than that, I'm just used to being miserable. It seems unnatural to have a girlfriend, to have any friends, and to actually be… happy. I have this suspicious feeling that it won't last long enough for me to adjust to it.

Monday, School Time:

Okay, so I should be at school. I really should, but I'm not. Ouo and I ditched while Tohru was preoccupied so that no one would object. Okay, well Maria saw us leaving at lunch, but she just smiled and gave me a thumbs up sign. She's a cool kid, I mean, for a transfer student.

We left school, laughing and walking hand in hand, she was smiling this perfect smile and she start skipping and dragging me along.

It made me truly laugh and enjoy myself. I rare occasion, but one I could definitely get used to.

We went to her house, because her mother was out and the Sohma home would be occupied by that horribly obnoxious Shigure. It seems like he's becoming more and more of a traitor to Akito, and I can't risk bringing Ouo near him. Of course she now knows about my little cat curse, but that is seriously nothing next to all my other Sohma-related problems.

Well, we're at her house right now. She's in another room while I'm writing this. She says she wants to change into something besides her uniform, which makes sense, I guess. She's coming back now looking beautiful, of course. She's wearing a blue dress that shows off her legs and height. Uh oh. She's holding out close for me to wear as well.

I don't know if this will end so well.

We are out eating now. My strange, crazy, Ouo decided that we should have a picnic for no discernable reason. And of course I am wearing her father's clothes.

Ouo claims not to have a father, yet whether he's dead or he just ran off I don't really know. But, wherever he is, he's seriously missing out. I can't understand how anyone would ever NOT want Ouo, in all her splendor. I mean, in my eyes, she's perfect in every way.

So, wherever her Dad is, he left some clothes behind, and he was apparently about my size. I feel ridiculous, but Ouo keeps saying I look good. Somehow I don't believe her, but that might just be because she can't say it with a straight face.

God, I love her. Look, emotions like this are new to me, but I still love her. My heart races when she smiles, I want to hold her, but obviously can't, and I try really hard to actually listen to what she says. That's love, right?

She's back with our picnic food, so I guess it's about time we did something dorky, like feed each other food or something. That seems to be the kind of mood Miss Yankee is in, and I really don't mind.

Monday Night

Tohru is going to freak out. Ouo and I both kind of fell asleep at our little picnic, and dinner was supposed to be an hour and a half ago.

Well, we both ran, laughing back to her apartment. We stood out there kissing for a while, a surprisingly fun hobby, but then Ouo had to leave. She threw my school clothes at me and told me to return the clothes later. I kissed her one last time then ran all the way home.

Now I'm in my room, and I just finished changing out of Ouo's father's clothes. I want to go downstairs, but I feel like seeing another Sohma would ruin my day with Ouo. It would make it seem unreal somehow. And I want this memory to stay very, very, real.

I guess it would make Tohru happy if I at least went down and ate a little. There. Now that I've written this down it can't become a dream, because I can just look back and I'll never forget. Oh Ouo, I hope you feel this too.

Tohru did look relieved to see me, and then quietly pestered me to try to see where I'd been. Sadly, it was actually Yuki who came to my rescue. I guess he was tired of Tohru giving all that attention to me, because he came over and whispered in her ear.

I don't know what he said, but Tohru blushed, made excuses, and then left with him. If I didn't have Ouo, I'm sure that would have driven me into a rage. Yuki had Tohru wrapped around his little finger, and that he could make her just ignore me like that, I mean. It would have made me so hurt and mad.

I admit, I still might have been a little jealous, but all I had to do was think of Ouo's smile and I suddenly didn't care. Spring break is next week, and I have to find a way to spend it with her.

Tohru and Yuki will probably go to the Sohma retreat house in the mountains, like we all did last year. Me on the other hand, I won't go with them. I want to have some time to myself this break, I guess I'll tell them, but I might get stuck going with them anyways.

No time to myself. Just another lucky part of being a Sohma.

Not unlike the other lucky parts of being a Sohma and the cat that I still have to tell Ouo about. These include:

1. Getting dragged along with the family

2. Being an outcast with said family

3. My hatred turning me into a rather ugly monster

4. Having to always wear a bone-and-blood bracelet

5. Being beat up by Akito whenever she happens to come ruin my life

6. Being confined for life after graduation, just a year and a half away

When will I ever tell her this stuff? Probably not until it's absolutely necasary. Ouo means everything to me, and I think I love her. I can't tell her because my heart won't let me. After all these years I've really only learned to protect myself, and the only way I can do that is by not letting her break it.

So, it's hurt me, or hurt her. I knew this happy feeling wouldn't stay. All it took was a little responsibility to catch up to me, and now I'm back where I started.

END OF CHAPTER

AN: Dear Readers,

I can't decide if I should make this story go well, or badly. I need your help! Here I Stand depends on it! Please review and give suggestions, although I still love "I love your story!" reviews, they aren't nearly as productive.

-A-san