The Farewell Chapter
The guys hung around on Toaster's lawn, waiting for the said teenager. Freddy stalked over to the side of the house and shouted up at Toaster's window.
"Hurry it up, piglet!"
Freddy then had to dodge as Toaster's unread copy of The Half-Blood Prince flew out the window. The large book instead landed on Chucky who of course let out a torrent of obscenities. Toaster's head popped out of the window.
"Hold your horses, Crispy, I can't find my other boot!" She disappeared in the window again.
"I thought you said you would clean your room yesterday!" Pinhead shouted up at her.
"I saw something shiny and got distracted. HEY! JASON!" Toaster shouted from her window. "Heads up, buddy!" She leapt out the window and right into his arms. "Thanks."
Jason nodded and put her down, patting her head. The Creeper hissed something.
"Watch your mouth." Toaster remarked. "So, what's the uppity, my home-fries?"
"You called us over here." Pinhead reminded her.
"Right…you guys are going to help me dig a hole."
"A hole? What the hell for?" Chucky remarked.
"A hole…TO CHINA!" Toaster announced dramatically.
"…That has to be the dumbest plot I've ever heard." Chucky answered.
Toaster dropped the dramatic pose.
"So sue me, I need some comedy to build up to the schmaltzy ending of this chapter!" She said. "Or, I thought maybe it would be fun if we took on a mystery case, like Columbo or something…"
"The only mystery here is why we take orders from a fourteen year-old girl who hasn't seen any of our movies." Pinhead snorted with derision.
"She's fifteen, genius." Freddy said, picking his teeth with one of his claws.
"Seventeen." Toaster corrected. The guys all stopped short and stared at her.
"SEVENTEEN?! When did that happen?!" Leatherface shrieked.
"Well duh. I rewrote this story in 2004, and I haven't updated since June 27, 2005! Two years ago! Who do you think I am, Peter Pan? I age." Toaster shrugged.
The guys all stood there in silence. Then Jason started singing in his lovely baritone voice.
"Happy birthday to yoooou-"
"It's too late for that, Jason." Toaster looked at her watch. "…In fact, six months too late, with it being November and all."
"The bad news just keeps on coming!" Leatherface wailed.
"Next thing you know you'll be eating prunes and using a walker." Chucky snickered. "We'll have to put a wheelchair lift on your van."
"Shut up, Chucky. Anyway…there's more bad news." Toaster took on a more serious tone. "I have to go away."
"…You mean you're done with this story?" Pinhead asked.
Toaster sighed and kicked the ground with the toe of her sneaker.
"Yeah…it's been so long, and, I just don't have it in me to finish this story anymore. I wish I could stay, but it wouldn't be the same. So, before I go, I just want to ask you guys something."
"Name it." Jason had scrawled on his slate.
"…Can we play Chuckyball one last time?"
Everyone looked at the killer doll, who sighed.
"The things I do…"
Toaster squealed and hugged Chucky fiercely…then she dropped him when she realized she was smooshing his face right into her chest.
"FORE!" She shouted, punting him into Jason's hands, and thus The Temporarily Final Round of Chuckyball began.
Afterwards Toaster stood outside her van to say goodbye. She went up to the Creeper and hugged him.
"Creeps, I don't know anything about you, but it was nice knowing you."
He hissed in response and she smiled.
"Yeah, me too."
Michael was next, he bent down to give her a hug.
"Bye, Mikey. Thanks for being like my second mommy."
Michael held up his slate: "Take care of yourself."
"I will…" She moved on to Leatherface, who was sobbing into a filthy handkerchief. "…No offense, but you are REALLY out of character right now. Then again, you always were since I know hardly anything about your character."
"I don't care, I'm going to miss you!" He sniffled, throwing his arms around her. She smiled and patted him on the back.
"I'll come back and visit."
Toaster stood in front of Pinhead now.
"Well, it sickens me to admit it…I'm going to miss your antics." He held out his hand.
Toaster smiled. "Coming from you, that means a lot." She returned the handshake and moved on to Jason. Before she could even say anything, Jason scooped her off the ground and lifted her up in a rib-crushing hug.
"Jason, I don't think she can breathe." Pinhead noted. "Her face isn't normally that shade of blue."
The zombie man-child nodded and put her down, patting her head. Toaster smiled and hugged him back, even though she could hardly get her arms around him.
"I'll miss you too, big guy. Don't let Freddy boss you around too much." She moved in Freddy. "Heh, speak of the dream stalker…"
Freddy lightly flicked the tip of her nose with his ungloved hand. "Try not to miss me too much, kid."
"Heh, I won't." She punched his arm and then stood in front of the last guy, Chucky. She sighed, kneeled down and hugged him.
"You know, I think I might miss you the most. When I invented Chuckyball I was inspired to write this story."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll miss you too, enough with the schmaltz, you're squishing me!" The killer doll wriggled out of the hug, dusting himself off.
Toaster climbed into her van and waved out the window. "Bye guys! Don't worry, some of you will be in my next fic! It's like Jem once said: 'This is farewell, but not good-bye!'" She turned up the radio extra loud and backed out of the driveway. And just as she sped off, she ran over Marilyn Manson.
And she was gone.