and own the first five volumes (I know the ending, though, so I'm not completely
clueless).
This idea came out of sheer boredom. Seriously. The other day I took #5 to school to let a
friend borrow (then he didn't show up-- idiot), so I took to rereading it in my study hall.
This idea came.
What if Leon decided to give the Count a taste of his own medicine, so to speak? D has
taken him to the ballet and to dinner, so naturally Leon should return the favor...
DUN DUN DUN!
Well, okay, not really, but I can't wait to write this. (I'm writing it as I go, so... yeah. I
have no idea what's coming either.)
Enjoy.
"D, you here?" Leon called. "D-man, where are you!"
"Right here, Detective, you need not shout," D said, appearing from behind a curtain. He
gestured toward the couch and table. "Tea, I presume?"
"Nah, D, not today. I'm in a bit of hurry, so I can't stay long," Leon said.
"Ah, come to accuse me in passing?"
Leon, ignoring D's teasing, smiled and said, "Actually, I've come to ask if you'd join me
for a night on the town tonight."
"I-I beg your pardon?" D said, and it took all of Leon's restraint not to laugh at the
Chinamen's obvious surprise.
"You heard me. You've taken me out to places, I think it's only fair that I take you
someplace, right?"
"Why, Detective! You do know some etiquette after all!" D said, the teasing making its
return. Leon blushed a bit.
"Yeah, well, Mom did try to teach me... guess some of it sank in. Anyhow, are you going
to join me or not?"
"Ah, I don't think that would be wise, Detective. I'm sure I have no business going to
anyplace you frequent," D remarked. Leon glared.
"Hey, they ain't dives if that's what you're thinking! C'mon, I went to all your fancy-pants
shit--"
"Language, Detective."
"--so why can't you go with me for one night?" Leon finished, ignoring the scold. "I
mean, isn't that also a part of the etiquette deal? I'm returning the fucking favor here, isn't
it right for you to accept?"
Oh, he has me there, D thought. Damn, he's right... for once... and he knows it! D
couldn't help but give the slightest glare at the smirking detective. He sighed, knowing
that if he didn't acquiesce, Leon would through the proverbial hissy fit.
"May I inquire as to where we are going?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. The smirk stayed
in place, perhaps even growing bigger.
"It's a surprise," he replied. D resisted the urge to roll his eyes. How did he know that was
coming?
"Very well, Detective, I suppose I have no other option than to say yes."
"Sheesh, you sound as if I'm inviting you to torture," Leon said.
Just about, D thought, but I do owe it to him, even if only the rules of etiquette are
forcing me. Still, I can't think it will be all bad... it can stand to reaffirm my belief that
most humans are anything but humane.
"Anyhow, I'll be around at seven," Leon said, showing himself to the door. Just before it
closed, he leaned back inside. "Oh, and D? I have a name for fuck's sake; use it, will ya?"
D didn't even get to properly scold him for language before he was gone from the
doorway. Sitting down on his chair and fixing his tea, he sighed again, knowing he was
resigned to his fate. It wasn't the fact that Leon had invited him out that disconcerted D
the most-- it was the slightly diabolical edge that the detective's smirk had.
Suprising D for the second time that day, Leon had arrived at seven sharp. When he
answered the door, the detective was wearing the same clothes as earlier and had a plastic
bag with him. D looked questioning at it and Leon threw it to him. He pulled out a shirt
and looked at it increduously.
"What is this?" he asked. The smirk was back.
"That, my man, is what you are wearing tonight. No dresses or whatever unpronounceable
word they're called."
"You are joking, I hope!"
"Nope. You're wearin' that. The jeans might be a little big since you are smaller than me,
but there's a belt in there so that should help," he said. D just looked at him. "What? Get a
move on, you don't want word to get around that you were late for something," he
teased.
"Detective--" Leon held up a hand.
"What did I say? I have a name. Use it," he said. D took a deep breath, trying to retain
control, and started again.
"Leon, I am not wearing this. I agreed to this outing merely because--"
"D!"
D was about to make a comment about continuous interruptions, but the seriousness in
Leon's face made him stay silent. He couldn't deny that he saw a bit of hurt in the
detective's blue eyes either.
"I dressed up for your ballet thing, remember?"
"You wore sneakers," D stated dryly.
"Fine, I don't exactly own that many fucking clothes to begin with and certainly nothing
fancy, so I wore the best I had. I hate ballet and plays and all that, but I went along with it
anyhow and wore clean clothes. Why's it so hard to wear a t-shirt and jeans? They're
clean, if that's what you're worried about. C'mon, D. I'm gonna start sounding
sentimental soon..."
If Leon had wanted to guilt him, he was succeeding. D had been to Leon's apartment on
several occasions and knew for a fact he didn't have much of anything, including clothes.
Add to that the slight pleading tone that his voice had held... D had agreed to go with
him, he couldn't back out of that now, and it was evident that Leon wasn't going
anywhere with him in his usual cheongsam, so it looked like he didn't have a choice.
"Very well," he said, disappearing behind a curtain.
As soon as he was out of sight, Leon did a silent victory dance. Finally, he had gotten the
Count to do something he wanted. He had thought that it would take some serious
prodding to get him to go out, let alone wear normal clothes, but Leon had succeeded. Go
Leon, it's your birthday! We're gonna party like it's your birthday! he sang mentally.
"Is this... fine?" D asked, reappearing.
Leon nearly didn't recognize him. He had picked out black t-shirt that someone
ex-girlfriend had given him and never wore. It was a size too small for his tastes, but fit D
fine. The jeans were loose, as Leon knew they would be, but seemed to fit well enough.
He glanced down and saw that D was still wearing his slipper-like shoes. Damn, I forgot
all about shoes. I don't have an extra pair and I doubt he owns any sneakers or boots. D
was saying something, but Leon only caught the last half.
"What?"
"This," D said, pointing to the shirt's design. "isn't offensive or anything, is it?"
"Nah, it's a band logo. Van Halen, from back in the '80s. Good band," Leon explained.
"Just remember that if anyone asks you who was the better singer, say Sammy Hagar. If
they ask you why, just say 'because' and try to get away."
"Why?"
"Do you want to get caught in a verbal battle over a band you know nothing about?"
"No, I suppose not," D said.
"Too bad I can't do anything about your shoes. Oh, well--"
"What on earth is wrong my shoes?" D asked / snapped. Leon grinned nervously and
headed for the door.
"Doesn't matter, everyone thinks you're gay anyhow," he said, ducking out to the street.
"What!" D squawked. He followed the infuriating detective, calling out to Q-chan over his
shoulder.
"Watch the animals for me, would you? I need to go find something to throw at our dear
detective's head!" Q-chan chirped his agreement, but the Count was already out the door.
"We are going in there?"
"Oh, knock it off already, D. There's nothing wrong with the Roadhouse. It's made to
look like a dive, but it's not. Best hamburgers and sloppy joes west of the Mississippi!
And don't go into a panic, they have veggie burgers, I checked," Leon said.
"How very thoughtful of you," D said, feeling a bit guilty for being so harsh. Leon
shrugged it off and they entered.
D had to admit the place did hold a kind of... charm... to it. The place was made to look
like an old-fashioned wooden structure and had various signs and memorabilia all over the
walls. The people were all casually dressed, with some lounging at the bar or eating at a
booth. There were even a few families with young kids eating and seemingly enjoying
themselves. It only looks rough. It's tailored for children as well as adults, D thought,
amazed. And somehow Leon appeared to belong here.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's my favorite bar-man!" a red-headed woman said, sidling up to Leon.
"Hey, Charlene," he replied. "The boys treatin' ya good?"
"You bet they have after that little talking-to you gave 'em," she said, laughing. D
suddenly felt more out of place than he ever had before. He was thankful that Leon's
clothes weren't of some itchy fabric, but he felt unsure in them, and that was something
not to be liked. "So, tell me, Leon, the usual chair?"
"Nah, not tonight, Charlene. I brought a friend," he said, gesturing towards D, who was a
bit intrigued at Leon calling him 'a friend'. He had never said that before. "This is D.
Charlene, D; D, Charlene."
"It is a pleasure to meet you," D said, inclining. He expected to get a weird look and in
fact did so, but it passed and she returned the greeting, slight bow and all.
"Well, now, I think I have the perfect table for you two. Follow me."
She led them to their table, which was off in one corner, giving them a perfect view of the
entire restaurant. She gave them their menus, told them the specials, and then left, but not
before thanking Leon for helping her out. D gave him an inquiring glance.
"Ah, about a week ago these guys were trying to rough her up, you know, be playful and
whatnot. They were drunk off their asses and refused to quit. I was at the other end of the
bar and when she came by I asked what was up. She told me and said that she couldn't tell
her boss because he said one more complaint from her would get her fired. Asshole.
Anyhow, I flashed my badge and escorted them outside where I gave them a little off-duty
advice, if you know what I mean," he explained.
"Why, my dear Detective, I didn't know you were so chivalrous, especially concerning the
state of your apartment." D hoped that didn't sound as biting to Leon as it did to him. He
had meant to commend him, but the teasing was inevitable.
"That's one thing-- nobody gets hurt. Treating women, children, or anyone like shit is a
crime in my book and I ain't about to let anyone go about doin' just that, on- or off-duty.
And didn't I tell you to call me Leon?"
"Ah, yes, Leon. Well, your action are admirable, if the tactics questionable," D said,
picking up the menu. Sure enough, they had a vegetarian section.
"Yeah, well, what comes around goes around," Leon replied. D noticed he didn't pick up
the menu.
"Aren't you going to look?"
"I have the damn thing memorized. I'm here at least two or three times a week, only, as
you can guess, I'm at the bar most nights," he said. "So? Is this place so bad?"
"No, I must say it does have a certain good quality about it. Seems, ah, how would you
say it? Right up your alley?"
"Yeah, it is. Makes me think of home."
"Home? You are not from the city?"
"Well, yeah, but the outer edge of the 'burbs. I hated every moment of it. Had to get out
of there, you know, go and live in the big city. And, well... here I am," he said. "What
about you? You really from China or are you local?"
"De--, Leon, I can assure you, from China I came," D said, correcting himself. Old habits
really do die hard.
"Oh, yeah? Good English for a bona fide foreigner. Sheesh, I know some guys at the
precinct that I can't understand and they were born speaking English," Leon said, rolling
his eyes. D smiled.
"I had a very good teacher, plus I've been speaking it for some years now. It's second
nature to me, you could say," he said. Leon gave a slight nod, but seemed distracted. D
followed his gaze and noticed some men at the bar laughing. "Are they...?"
"The ones from the other night? Yup. Jerks. Wish I coulda hauled their asses in for
something. Harassment would've gotten them a night in the tank and a chance to sober
up, but Charlene would've had to lodge a complaint and like I said, that would've gotten
her fired. There'll be a next time, though."
"Sadly," D said, giving a side-glare to the men. If they treated fellow members of their
species that awfully, he dared not imagine what they would do to animals.
"Yeah, well, what can ya do?" Leon asked. D didn't get a chance to reply because
Charlene was back, ready to take their order.
"So what will you boys have?" she asked.
"The usual for me. D?"
"Hmm, I think I would like to try this, ah, veggie burger, please?" D said, pointing to it on
the menu.
"And to drink?"
"Tea, please."
"Sorry, hon, we don't have any," she said. D blanched. No... tea!
"Er, give him, uh... Vanilla Coke," Leon said. Charlene wrote it down.
"Alright, boys, it'll be here in about twenty minutes and I'll have you drinks in a jiffy." She
left, leaving D still blanching.
"No tea? How could they not have tea!" he said. Leon looked sheepish.
"Sorry, I didn't check for that. I don't drink it except at your place or if I'm somewhere
with you," he said. "But you'll like Vanilla Coke-- it's sweet."
"Well, I suppose it will have to do," D said, sighing. He seemed to be doing a lot of that
lately.
A silence befell the two, but it wasn't entirely uncomfortable. Leon seemed lost in his
thoughts, staring at the table before him. Even when Charlene came with his beer and D's
Coke, he still stayed quiet. This was unusual for him, D knew, but kept silent as well and
simply people-watched.
His drink wasn't that bad, really. It wasn't tea, but Leon had been right, it was sweet. The
vanilla flavor made him think of the little cakes that Leon had started bringing that were
hard to get. One had to rise early to get them, and D could never seem to get out of bed
and down to the store fast enough. Of course, the store was on the other side of the city
and D didn't drive and wasn't a fan of taxis or other public transportation, so walking the
whole distance could prove to be an indomitable problem.
Fifteen minutes had passed now and Leon was still staring. Something was definitely up--
D had never seen him so still for so long, even when he was lying asleep in the hospital
bed.
"Leon?" he asked. Leon looked up, a bit surprised.
"Hmm? What?"
"What is wrong? You seem rather distracted."
"Oh," Leon said. He shrugged. "Some bullshit at work, that's all." D quirked an eyebrow
and Leon sighed. "I'm on psych leave for a week."
" 'Psych leave'?"
"Yeah... last night I pulled double-duty because I needed some extra cash, right? Well, I
figure it's just beat work, nothing to worry about. Pfft. Halfway through the night, me and
this other guy are just cruisin' our beat, ya know, and everything's quiet, then BAM!
Gunfire out of nowhere. We slam on the brakes and follow the sound to a nearby alley.
Whoever shot the gun was long gone, but Johns-- the other guy-- went lookin' just in
case. I stayed behind to see what he was shooting at and..." Leon paused and D could tell
he was trying to get ahold of himself. "This woman had been mugged and he shot her...
and her baby."
"Oh, no," D said.
"Yeah. Chief made me check in with the shrink as soon as I got back. The doc said I
should be taken off the case. Said I wasn't showing my emotion or some shit like that.
That's why I asked you to come with me tonight. At the moment you're the only friend
I've got and I sure as hell know that sulking alone is a bitch," Leon said.
"Who's a bitch?" Charlene said, setting down their plates.
"Every ex-girlfriend I've ever had," Leon said quickly, holding up his beer, as if in a toast.
"There's a list," Charlene replied, turning her head to make a face. D saw and smiled a bit.
"Ha, ha, very funny," Leon said sarcastically. "You're practically a comedian."
"And a you're a walking joke, Leon," she said, causing D to hide his smile behind his
hand.
"Oh, great, now you're both laughing at me," Leon growled as Charlene left. The moment
passed and solemnity once again cloaked them.
"So what are you doing for the week?"
"Well, I gotta check in with the doc once a day, but I can do that by phone. Other than
that... I don't know, maybe go up to the old stompin' ground or cruise down the coast.
Something," he said, taking a bite out of his cheeseburger. D nibbled at his. It wasn't
anything near what Totetsu could make, but not half-bad. "What about you?"
"What about me what?" D asked.
"Tonight. You seem a little off yourself."
"Well, let's see, Detective, I'm in clothes I thought I wouldn't be caught dead wearing,
I'm in a restaurant that normally would have me running for the hills, I'm drinking soda
instead of tea, and feeling completely out of place," he said, noticing Leon wince. He
smiled. "And I find that, despite all things, I'm actually enjoying myself."
"Really?" Finally, Leon was surprised instead of he! About time, D thought.
"Don't push it, Detective," he murmured.
"D-- name!" Leon said.
"I'll use it if you refrain from cursing as much as you do," D said. Leon glared.
"Guess I'll live with 'Detective'," he said.
"Detective!" D said, and Leon grinned. "Oh, you are infuriating."
"And you ain't?" D glared, but then smirked and said nothing. "See! That's what I'm
talkin' about! That damn smirk of yours."
"Language, Detective."
"Blah, blah, blah..."
Dinner went remarkably well, all things considered. The teasing was in full force and
Charlene even joined in a time or two as she passed by, much to Leon's chagrine. The
comfort they had around each other was like that of lifelong friends. It was amusing, to
say the least, since they were so opposite in nature. Leon was loud, brash, and
argumentative; D, on the other hand, was quiet, reserved most of the time, and kept his
opinions to himself usually. Yet, even with this so, they still were friends.
"Ah, man, I'll be back," Leon said, getting up. D wondered, but then again, Leon had had
three beers, so it was likely he was heading to the bathroom. Surprisingly, the detective
wasn't-- or rather, appeared he wasn't-- drunk in the slightest.
Odd.
"Hey, lil' man," a voice said. D glanced up to see the men from the bar earlier. He
narrowed his eyes and proceeded to ignore them. They weren't worth his time.
"Hey, asshole, Randy spoke to you!" the second man said.
"Chill, Steve, the guy probably doesn't even speak English," the first guy, Randy, said. He
turned back to D and, putting his hands together and squinting, made a bow. "Oy chee
wah?"
"Imbeciles," D muttered. Leon's assessment of the guys was more accurate than D cared
to admit. Not only did they harass women, they made fun of other cultures.
"What d'ya say?" Steve said. "Hey Randy, I think he insulted us!"
"You insult yourselves well enough, you do not need me do it," D said. He glared, but his
eyes wouldn't work on these drunken fools.
"That's it!" Randy grabbed D by the arm and hauled him out of the booth. D ducked the
blow that was coming and slashed out with his nails. Four lines appeared across Randy's
face. "Ah, fuck!" he yelled, letting go of D in favor of holding his face.
"I'll show you!" Steve yelled, and this time D went with hitting the guy square in the face.
A crack was heard, and D knew he probably hurt his hand, but he couldn't help but smirk
a bit at the obvious pain both were in.
"What the hell is going on here?" a guy asked, running up.
"I saw the whole thing, boss! These two jerks tried to attack him!" Charlene said, coming
over from a nearby table.
"Is that so?" he asked. D nodded, now a bit uneasy as he saw all eyes were on him. "Well
then, I guess I'll have to eject you from my property!"
"Hold on a sec there." D turned to see Leon approach. "If you hold on to them, I'll put in
a call to the precinct and get some guys over here in ten minutes." He glanced at D. "Of
course, that's if you'd like to press charges."
"Indeed I would," D growled, using a napkin to wipe the blood from his hand and nails.
He looked at it in disgust before throwing it on the table.
"'Kay, then, I'll go call them now. Charlene, I think we'll take our check now. Here," he
said, holding his wallet out to D, "pay and I'll meet you out front as soon as I'm done with
these two jackasses."
"I will," D said.
Tonight was certainly turning out to be interesting.
"Sorry about all that back there. I can't believe all that racial shit is still going on in this
day and age," Leon said.
"You have nothing to apologize for, my dear detective. You didn't commit those acts. I
believe that perhaps I should apologize for ruining the evening."
"What, for handing their asses back to them? Hell no, D, don't apologize for that. God
knows they deserved it! And you can bet that they won't be fucking with anyone who
even looks remotely Asian," he said. "And besides, look at it this way-- free
entertainment!"
"For you, perhaps," D said, but was smiling. "And now what? You said a night out on the
town and the night is still young."
"You up for it still?"
"Why not? Besides that little incident, it has been going rather well I must say."
"Alright then," Leon said, grinning. "Time to hit the club."
" 'Hit the club'?"
A/N: Okay, this is the halfway point. It became a REALLY long oneshot, so I split it into
two parts. Don't panic, I'm uploading both at once. So go on, already, to Part Two! (Or
review, that would work, too. :grin:)