DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Don't like it? Don't read it.
Hey everyone! I'm back! Now the deal with this story is that this is Kel's story from the time of her joining the Riders, to... well there is a climax, and you'll have to wait and find out what it is.
Fate and destiny will both play out in this. For those of you who want to try and figure out the plot, remember this: destiny, as opposed to fate, can not be altered. As well, the Great Chain of Being must one day settle.
Now, I want everyone to please tell others about the story. I need readers. I write to be read.
I've noticed that this is really helpful to my previously abysmal writing skills, take a look at 'A new life'. Being able to write frequently, and be criticized is really useful. Even if you don't think you're a good writer, do what I did: you just have to come up with an opening sentence. Type it out and just keep going. It's what got my first story started (original fantasy, not posted anywhere). All you have to really do is to give yourself a push, then usually the rest will flow. At least it does for me.
I'll post opening lines for aspiring writers every chapter. Some may be better than others, but they're a basis.
Opening Line of the Chapter: The forest ground shook as a pair of blue eyes snapped open. Take it from there. This was the opening of my story that was unfortunately deleted recently. Seventy five pages and nearly eighty thousand words gone like that.
Song of the Chapter: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen (what can I say, classic Queen)
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Kel flinched as a shout rang out through the Riders' barrack. This was her first morning, and she could already tell that the one shouting could command respect.
She herself was already up and dressed, having come from a morning training session with Yuki and Shinko. They had been continuing with Kel's rapidly improving swordsmanship, and she could now beat Yuki, who herself didn't set the bar terribly high.
As the echoes of "Riders turn out!" shouted by Onua horsemistress and Burriam Tourakom died down, the dozen girls from the trainee dorm hurried to dress. They all had arrived late last night, and were tired, so didn't speak.
Kel flew down the stairs with the rest of the boys and girls to the Riders' mess. Entering it, Kel, always the diplomat's daughter, surveyed the room. It was distinctly smaller than the convent mess, and dramatically smaller than that of the pages and squires. In the corner were five small tables labeled for the trainees. There were very few Riders eating, most of them searching for Scanran raiders.
Surveying the trainees, she noticed that most of them were nervous, glancing around, unsure as to what they should be doing. Kel could understand. It was their first day, and last night had been so late, and no one had spoken before sleep.
Out of habit, Kel picked up a tray of food, and took a seat in a corner of the hall. she had been so used to sitting alone at the convent that she didn't think twice about sitting alone.
She closed her eyes sitting down, and smiled. This is what she had wanted. She was free of the restraints of the convent and its Daughters. True, the scars would never fade, but would shine in her spirit and memory, but she would try her hardest to make the best of her new life.
"Can we sit here?" A voice cut through her thoughts. Opening her eyes, she looked up at two girls and a boy, about her age. The girl closest to her was short and fair, with shoulder length sandy hair and hazel eyes. The boy was tall and handsome, brown hair falling into blue eyes. The girl who had spoken was about four inches shorter than Kel herself. Her dark hair cut boyishly short contrasted with pale skin and hazel green eyes.
"Go for it," Kel moved over to make room on her bench. The sandy haired girl sat next to her while the tall boy sat across from her.
"I'm Brekke Alesson, and this is my half sister Colleen. We're from the west, near Fief Tameran." The last girl extended a hand as she sat next to the boy.
"I'm Quinn Blythe. From near the Tyran border. My family are merchants." The boy, Quinn extended his own hand.
Kel felt awkward for a moment. At the convent, the ladies couldn't get away from her fast enough, it was strange to her that some people would reach out to her. She reminded herself that this was a new life, and a better one. Smiling, she opened her mouth to state her own name, but at that moment, Commander Buri stood up.
After the blessing for the meal were said, They all began to eat. Kel asked questions between bites.
"So why are you all here? Why the Riders? How old are you anyways?"
"Hey there, relax. We're not going anywhere, questions come after introductions." Brekke, definitely the ringleader of the sisters laughed. "You haven't even told us your name."
"It's Kel. Keladry of Mindelan." The table fell silent. Colleen's fork clattered on the table. Quinn, the least perturbed by this news smiled.
"You're the girl page. Rumor has it that Lord Wyldon was pressured to kick you out by the conservatives. They deny that. Good for you, for trying, and for not giving up." Kel's face fell, hidden by her Yamani mask now in place. Brekke, sensing that a change of subject was in order spoke up.
"I'm seventeen, and Colleen's sixteen. I'm here because my mother was killed in a raider attack, and I want to be able to fight back."
"I'm here because I didn't get into Shang, and they won't accept any more girl pages." Colleen said quietly.
"I'm here because I want to fight the Scanran war, and commoners can't be knights. I'm also sixteen" Quinn said brightly.
They spent the entire meal chattering about their lives, and soon were fast friends. Kel didn't talk much, which wasn't unusual. She examined her companions.
Brekke, though tall and slender, looked like she was born to be on a horse. She was agile and had quick reflexes. Her dark hair, pale skin and hazel eyes reminded Kel strongly of Queen Thayet, and yet the two women bore no noticeable resemblance.
Colleen shared her half sister's hazel green eyes. She was short, her build resembling that of Alanna the Lioness. She had strong muscles, and from all appearance could go on forever. She was bright and talkative, making her an amiable companion, especially on a wilderness trek. Her blonde hair and bright eyes would definitely attract the attention of many men, and had already seemed to have lured Quinn.
The boy in question was tall enough, though not much more so than Kel herself. He was good looking, and something about his dark brown hair and deep blue eyes reminded her of Prince Roald. In contrast to the prince, he was nearly as talkative as Colleen. Though he spoke more of lighter issues, taking their minds off of the threat of Scanra.
As they finished eating, the trainees filed out of the hall to the ponies' paddock. In company of Daine the Widmage, Onua horsemistress had been able to make her yearly trip to Cria in less time than ever, and was now able to bring back her charges in time for the arrival of the new trainees.
They would be choosing two ponies that morning, to give them time enough to get acquainted an to train them.
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TO ALL MY REVIEWERS:
Hey, I'm back. I know that a lot of you think that a trilogy isn't as good as a single story, but I've found that when a story is made very long, the reader often loses interest after a while. If it's too short, than a lot of readers won't look twice at it. I've found that around twenty thousand words, or fifteen chapters is a good balance between too long and too short.
Now, I do have a rough outline of this story, but I need ideas. Many of them. When I started planning this fic. I had the first and third parts set out perfectly, but this one I'm not sure about.
I didn't get any particular questions in reviews last chapter, but I did get a lot of people who thought that my writing is good, so :-)
Anyways... keep reading and I'll keep writing. I hate it when people leave their stories unfinished. It bothers me.
luv ya!