Truths of the Heart Series, Part One: Iris

Author: Batdz Angel (0/)

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of its characters. They are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. This is just a way to honor them. And the song belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls. I do however own the siren in this entire work.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Spuffy. Mentions of Tara/Willow and Anya/Xander.

Summary: Sometimes, you don't know what you need until your heart tells you. A songfic series for the lovely couple of Spuffy.

Season: Alternate Season Five ending/Season Six.

Author's Note: It's been a while since I've written anything. Hope I'm not too rusty...

After Glory was killed and everyone was safely at the Summers home, Buffy suggested they go out to celebrate. The Bronze a week later was decided and when Willow saw an advertisement for a new singer, they were all even more excited to go, intent on enjoying some good music and life in general.

For his part, Spike hadn't been expecting an invitation but Buffy had come with him to his crypt so he offered to walk her to the teen hangout. She had smiled and agreed, grabbing his arm and dragging him out his door, chattering excitedly.

As soon as the vampire and Slayer entered the club, Dawn's voice called to them from where she sat with the others. The youngest Summers wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a sparkly blue long-sleeved top. Her light brown hair was pulled up into a fancy ponytail and she had a wide smile on her face at the sight of her sister and her favorite vampire.

"Spike!" Dawn squealed happily as she hugged him. "Are you healing okay? Do you want anything?"

"Settle down Nibblet," he said affectionately as he sat down in an empty chair. Dressed in a pair of black jeans and a dark blue shirt that made his eyes look darker than they were, the vampire made quite the handsome picture. Buffy, herself, was stunning in a pair of leather pants and a green halter top that brought out her eyes.

Willow and Tara had dressed in simple dresses; Tara in blue and Willow in green. The two Wiccans giggled softly together, Willow touching Tara's hand every few seconds, as if to reassure herself she was still there, completely whole.

As for Xander and Anya, the couple were wrapped around each other on the dance floor. Anya was smiling up at Xander, her eyes sparkling with laughter as the young man kissed her forehead with affection.

Suddenly, the music stopped causing groans to sound through the crowd. A spotlight lit up the stage and a young woman sat there, wearing a purple dress with a v-neck. She held a guitar in her hand and smiled at the crowd, saying into the microphone, "Sorry about that! Guess the Bronze crew forgot to mention that I was singing tonight?"

Quiet laughter sounded and the girl grinned wider, sitting down on a round bench that was brought onstage. She held up a slender hand and said, "My name's Gwen and I'm singing a few covers for you tonight. An easy way to get you all adjusted to my shrieking."

More laughter.

Gwen grinned and said, "Anyways, let's start with a personal favorite of mine. Who's a fan of the Goo Goo Dolls?"

Cheers erupted and Gwen laughed as she sat down, saying, "Well, then, I better do them justice, yeah? Come on, you lovers. Grab your honey or sweetie and dance."

She began to play with nimble fingers, the spotlight shining down on her dark hair. Her lips parted and a sweet voice began to sing...

"And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I've ever been

And I don't want to go home right now..."

Spike glanced over at Buffy, who was watching the others dance with a smile on her face. He sighed inwardly and looked back at the stage, rubbing his hands on his thighs as he leaned back in his seat. He didn't notice Buffy's eyes watching him or the hesitancy in her face as she reached out to touch his arm...

"And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight..."

As the music suddenly roared to life, Buffy snapped her hand back, swallowing as she watched Spike's face. The darkness of the club didn't hide the beauty of his face and she pressed her lips together in a line as she told herself sternly that she could not ask the vampire to dance.

Even if she wanted too...

"And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am..."

Spike watched as the witches swayed together, cheek-to-cheek. They had blissful expressions on their faces and he smiled to himself as they glided along the floor. He'd seen the panic and pain in Willow's eyes while Tara was gone, and he understood it. He'd remembered the helplessness he'd felt at times with Drusilla and how he'd wished he could fix her...

Sighing, he picked up his drink and took a sip, allowing the hard liquor to scorch his throat. He looked over at Buffy and said, "The witches looks happy."

She blinked and met his gaze, before nodding. "Yeah," she said wistfully. "They do."

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

All the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive..."

As Gwen played, her fingers plucking at the strings with ease, Spike opted to try at his chances. He reached out, paused, and then said quietly, "Wanna dance Slayer?"

She blinked at him again, her hazel eyes wide with something he couldn't identify. Swallowing, Buffy said, "I...I don't know Spike."

"It's one dance Buffy," Spike said quietly. "That's all I'm asking. Not a bloody kiss, not a shag, not even a lifetime commitment. Just a simple dance."

"But it's not simple," she said feeling her emotions well up. "It won't ever be simple."

He studied her and then nodded, his blue eyes filled with regret and sadness. "I'll see you around Slayer," he said pushing his chair back. "Tell the Bit good night for me, eh?"

"Spike," Buffy tried to explain but he held up a hand. Shaking his head, he said, "Don't Buffy. Don't give me explanations or reasons or excuses." He smiled at her warmly. "I get it now Love. Really."

"And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am..."

Spike reached into his pocket and pulled out a few rumpled bills. "Tell the others I say good night, eh?" he said as he tossed them onto the table. "Goodbye Slayer."

He left the table, weaving his way through the crowd. Buffy sat at the table, her eyes fixated on the cash Spike had left behind. She swallowed, rubbing her hands across her thighs and then her eyes widened as she looked at where Spike had stood seconds before.

"Goodbye?" she whispered realizing that Spike hadn't said his traditional "See you around"...

He had said goodbye.

"I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am..."

As Gwen's voice faded, Buffy felt tears spill down her cheeks. She buried her face into her hands as she felt a sob well up in her throat. Swallowing, she whispered, "He said goodbye."

As she heard her friends come back to the table, Buffy surreptitiously wiped her eyes and tried not to let any of them know.

Spike was gone.

End Part One of Heart Series