Emphatic
A/N: Sorry I took so long to update, I've had a lot of exam work lately, and it's taken up pretty much all of my time. Any spare time I have had I've been spending out, sorry about this. Here's another update.
Chapter 7 - New Player
I could tell from that moment onwards that my stay on this ship was going to be a short one, but not for the reason I was hoping. Rather than it being short because we were close to finding Neo, it would be short because Captain Roland's temper was heightened in my presence, and it was obvious to me and probably the rest of the crew that he did not want me aboard. What I took to my advantage was that he had a cynical respect for the other captains, and felt the need to keep me on his ship until I had at least plugged in once. I was pleasantly shocked when he didn't try to contact Morpheus to confirm his request, something that was unusual of him.
Even on a large ship like the Hammer, cabins were limited. If I wanted a cot I would have to share with one of the crew, or with Link, and to be honest I didn't exactly feel like I needed the company. So I spent my first night in the operator chair in the core, curled up and watching the monitors. My eyes focused on the green code as it trickled down the screens, oozing down before my eyes. I read the code subconsciously now, and could see the streets of cities, buildings and people bustling about. I finally got bored of it, and found myself drifting off into a light sleep, dreaming of the scent of Neo lying beside me, a deep musky smell. It was a mixture between oil and sweat, and although it doesn't sound pleasant it was what I had come to love, and so I found myself enjoying the scent.
When I woke up, a faint smile on my face, I opened my eyes wearily to be greeted with the face of Frost, the woman whom I had noticed earlier. Her long, pale blonde hair was a little tangled from sleep, and as she stared at me I realised her name suited her. She had a sharp looking face, the angles harsh and with pale skin. She had high cheekbones, pale pink lips and piercing blue eyes, a dangerous beauty. But despite noticing this, my heart sunk to the lowest it has ever been. When I realised that the smell of my lover was no longer lingering in the air, I sat up, aggravated already, and got to my feet.
"Morning, Trinity," Frost said, her voice somewhat soft compared with her features.
"Morning."
"I heard about your injuries, the crash. How are you?" she asked, not making eye-contact, barely really noticing me. Now her kindness seemed forced.
"Fine."
I turned to walk off as she took my seat, making my way into the Mess Hall to ease my sudden hunger. There sat Colt, AK and a young man who I had earlier realised was named Zany. He definitely suited his name, being one of the only crewmembers on the Hammer who was willing to smile more than once a week. I usually didn't like this type of person, finding it strange being around someone who was so cheerful, and crazy, but this man was one whom I saw as possibly being an ally in my situation. If I needed him, I assumed that he would help me out of sheer politeness and love for life.
I quickly snatched a tin of the goop I had come to know as food, and took an empty spot at the end of the table, away from the rest of the group. I didn't want to be troubled with too much questioning, my earlier conversation with Frost proving to be awkward enough for my liking. I got a couple of odd glances from the three crewmembers who shared the table with me, but I kept my eyes directed at the scratched surface of the table, slowly spooning the semi-solid, semi-liquid breakfast into my mouth and swallowing it gratefully. Soon, Link and Roland appeared, Roland looking awake and grumpy as usual, Link just looking exhausted. He rubbed his eyes as he sat down opposite me with his tin of food, and quietly grabbed my attention.
"Trinity, how you holding up?" he whispered, keeping his eyes on the rest of the crew to make sure they weren't listening to our private conversation.
"I'm fine," I replied, almost fully honest. I was feeling physically okay, although I had felt better. My muscles still throbbed slightly, and I still felt stiff and had a stinging tinge where my scars were, but apart from that it wasn't too bad. Emotionally and mentally I was holding up better than I had expected, trying to force thoughts of Neo out of my head entirely. But on my first night there he definitely crept into my mind at least a few times, whether I was conscious or unconscious at the time.
When Roland finally graced us with his presence, tired and still groggy from one of those kinds of sleeps that is although truly satisfying it is also never enough, he glanced wearily around the room, squinting against the lights, and focused on the most recent pilot. "Zany. How far are we from broadcast level?" His voice was considerably softer due to his weakness of love for rest, but I knew this sweetness wouldn't last long.
"Not far, sir," Zany said with a hint of a grin already spreading across his face. I remembered how the new additions to ships had always been. New crewmembers always acted enthusiastic and ever cheerful, though were always nervous and careful not to upset their captain for fear of being kicked off the crew. Many of them were also very naïve. This man struck me as owning the qualities of cheeriness and enthusiasm, sarcasm as well as kindness. But he was definitely not nervous, and certainly didn't appear to be naïve. I admired these qualities in a crewmember, they would go far.
"Good. Will we arrive there today, before we stop for the night?" Roland asked, his voice becoming a little firmer.
"No idea, Sir. But it's worth a try. If we don't arrive tonight we'll be there by tomorrow. And even if we do reach b-level tonight, surely you won't want to be jacking in at such a late hour?" Zany answered, that smile growing from genuine pleasure from his job to a knowing grin. Whatever happened, my pain was being prolonged for yet another day. And to be honest, I didn't know if I could hold out much longer without at least attempting to search.
The rest of the crew discussed their options further, Link participating in only a few of their conversations. While this occurred around me, my mind wandered to something Morpheus had said a few days before.
"Actually, yes. There is. Her name is the Seeker. But I do not think you want to speak with her."
The Seeker. I had never heard of her before. And despite all efforts, I most definitely did want to speak with her. What could be so wrong with her that I would want to hide away from her? If she could help me, why should I wait? In fact, why wasn't I already at her side, requesting, or even demanding her assistance? This question continued to flash in my mind throughout the day, which dragged by slowly. We didn't take off again until before lunch time, which meant blending in with the rest of the crew until then, in the serious hope that no one would try to make small talk with me.
Link seemed to know this, and avoided me for most of the day. We only bumped into each other when passing through rooms, and I appreciated that he was following what he seemed to know to be the way I wanted things. But unfortunately the rest of the crew didn't know me so well, and as the day grew older I realised that Frost and I weren't going to get along very well. She was named well, a very cold person, the kind who enjoys her revenge hot and sweet. But she was also very forward, and she always seemed to want to know everyone else's business. Especially mine. I normally wouldn't have taken any notice of her, but I was feeling overly vulnerable, which wasn't normal for me, and it made me more defensive.
"How are you holding up," she asked, her voice dotted with what seemed like an icy coldness she was trying to disguise in her attempt at being concerned.
"Fine."
"It doesn't seem like it," she retorted. I wasn't sure how she meant this to sound - as if she was trying to make me realise that I could tell her, and she would understand, or perhaps it was just her way of being like an ice queen. No prizes for guessing how she got her name, then. I answered her without words, and just flashed her a quick glare from the corner of my eyes, before getting up from my seat at the mess hall table and marching off in the direction of the cockpit, hoping that there would be more silence up there, having to just deal with two people, two of whom I could always rely on to be the same. Roland would always be Roland, grumpy, harsh and cruel, and Zany seemed he would always be cheery but quiet. Their company would please me more than anyone else's right now, apart from Link's. But he knew my situation only too well, we were too familiar. I didn't want to discuss it with anyone.
When I arrived at the cockpit, Roland and Zany buckled into their leather chairs, Zany took a quick glance over his shoulder. He gave me a knowing look.
"Getting away from it all, Trinity?" he asked rhetorically. I nodded anyway, less out of agreement and more out of satisfaction that he understood my reason for being there. I took one of the seats behind the pilot chairs and buckled in myself. We would no doubt be joined by more of the crew in a few moments. I savoured this momentary almost-silence, listening to only the humming of the engine as it started up, and the sound of Roland quietly bickering with Zany about which pipeline would take them to broadcast level more quickly. A allowed myself to smile briefly before settling down.
As we neared a mouth in the pipeline later on that day, it was around mid-evening. We hovered by the opening for a couple of moments before Zany broke into a huge grin.
"Broadcast level, welcome ladies and gentlemen!"