I, Mistake

Nine and a half months later (The baby had been late) Oki had learned to stop crying and start doing again. She started seeing the twitch at the corner of mouths. She understood what it meant when a friend clutched her hand out of nowhere. She recognized both disdain and sympathy – and realized that she wanted someone to be happy for her. She wanted to have a party and get drunk and go shopping for adorable little clothes with parents and friends and husband...

But that was just it. She had no husband. Her child would grow up in somber silence. Because she had no boyfriend either.

Her daughter followed after her everywhere. She wanted to copy anything and everything her mother did. She took the smiles and made them real. She found alike clothes, but the colors were bright. She pulled her hair up, but it was playful instead of stern.

Her daughter was not cynical or bitter. That was one thing that she did not copy from her mother.

And then she grew. She found she did not like make-up (it was itchy and it felt clunky). She decided she wanted to take over kitchen duties (her mom's dishes tasted brown). She read and read until her head brimmed with thoughts of who did what when and how or why this happened and potential. She became smart because honestly she was a natural ditz. She was happy.

She still lacked a family name. Her classmates giggled when they witnessed her mounting panic at scrabbling to make one up. Her teacher sighed and her introduction ended at; "My name is TenTen..."

Oki brushed out her hair and listened quietly to her story. Then she told her to change – they were going to train. The hair went back up and the child learned to make people eat their words. She started getting serious. She started looking up to more people than just her mother. She started wanting to be a ninja – no, a great ninja. She would not settle.

People forgot about the fact that she was a scandal and she forgot that there had been a time when she didn't belong.

She did not forget that her father was out there. That he was waiting for the daughter he knew nothing about to find him. She did not forget that her mother was proud of her. She did not forget that she never missed, she did not mess up. She did not forget that she is more than what she once was. She did not forget many things.

She forgot that she was a mistake.