Disclaimer: All characters belong to Eiichiro Oda and your mom. 'Zolo' just makes me think he's a hard candy I can suck on . . . hmm . . .
Somewhere along the line, Zoro had made the stupid assumption that since Sanji was a guy, he'd be easier to understand. Women were always being devious and had double agendas, lying without so much as batting an eye, and so goddamn emotional Zoro could hardly stand it. He didn't know what to do when they started crying, so he ended up just walking out every time. There had never been a reason for Zoro to stick around when things suddenly became more trouble than they were worth- but he didn't have that sort of escape plan on a pirate ship . . . and frankly, he wanted to pound Sanji's face in until he got some answers. Zoro wasn't good at guessing, was lousy at mind games, and couldn't find his way out of a paper bag; but his terrible sense of direction wasn't at fault here. It was all because of Sanji, that selfish little punk and his silent treatment.
It was always the blondes that were so damn ornery.
Zoro had gone to sleep in his hammock with a slender cook curled up on his chest, legs tangled together nicely. It had been warm and comfortable; probably the soundest sleep Zoro had gotten in a long while. The only problem was sometime before dawn, he woke up cold and alone, the blanket they had shared left on the floor to point in accusation at the direction Sanji must have wandered off in. It had been a little more than insulting, after Zoro had stood outside for the better part of last night with Sanji trying to convince the cook that this was going to work. He thought Sanji had finally agreed when they went to sleep together- but the light of day had shown something much different. There was nothing quite like walking out on deck to see your sexual partner drooling buckets over the other two women in the crew. Sanji apparently had run out of bed to make a special breakfast especially for Nami and Robin- while the rest of them had gotten a platter of what was nothing more than very delicious slop. Luffy and Usopp didn't care; digging in with their spoons while Zoro fought the urge to be sick. He could tell Sanji was pointedly ignoring him, not so much as even looking in his direction. It was like the other males on the ship didn't even exist for Sanji, who had moodily shut himself into the kitchen for the rest of the morning.
Zoro didn't particularly care to give Sanji's little mood, going off to work-out on his own until he was doing push-ups over a puddle of sweat. He could ignore Sanji just as well, having plenty of other things to occupy his time. Somewhere along the line Robin set a chair up against the edge of the rail and began reading. Zoro didn't mind since she wouldn't try to talk to him, but of them perfectly content with their own activities. Nami and Usopp were arguing about something over by the tangerine tree, their voices being carried over when the bickering got particularly vicious but otherwise incomprehensible. It was a perfectly normal day . . . to the untrained eye. Sanji was giving him such a cold shoulder that the galley's door was practically icing over.
Bastard. Just what the hell was there to get uptight about! Zoro couldn't even understand it. Every other woman he'd run across had begged him to stay a little bit longer, if he wanted to do it one more time before he had to go. Sanji was even worse than the first day he'd met the skinny fuck, something about the blonde instantly setting his teeth on edge. They had just never gotten along, and after last night Zoro had attributed it all to sexual tension. Apparently for Sanji, that wasn't it and now their relationship was worse than ever. Zoro had gotten mixed messages from intimate partners before, but that shitty cook definitely took the cake on this one. He couldn't even keep up with the blonde's ridiculous chain of thought if he wanted to. Everything officially made no sense whatsoever any more thanks to that human chimney. Zoro couldn't stand it; especially the way the smell of tobacco smoke had clung to Sanji's surprisingly soft and silky hair . . .
Zoro tossed down the heavy weights he had been lifting angrily, making Robin finally look up from her book in curiosity.
"Done already?"
Zoro was too angry to even answer her, already marching off to take a cold shower by himself, as he had done oh-so-many times before.
But after that, he was seriously going to kill Sanji.
Sanji took one steadying drag from his cigarette, staring down the closed door in front of him like he could open it with pure will alone. He didn't want to do this, but he had little choice in the matter. It would be better if he just marched straight in there and was perfectly blunt and honest about what was wrong . . . but Sanji couldn't even think of how to say it. He had a serving platter full of an afternoon snack, shamelessly using food as a weapon to start conversation with. There was no creature alive that could resist a dish he'd prepared personally. He was the greatest cook in East Blue, after all. If he kept following around Luffy it would soon become the best in the world- just because that rubber bastard seemed determined to explore every part of sailable ocean. Sanji couldn't care less about finding the One Piece treasure, but his recipe book was quickly becoming a flourishing collection of the strange dishes he found in the Grand Line. His library was beginning to rival Nami's; not that he could ever compete with such a beautiful and daring woman. He could still do his best within his own forte, and had proved time and time again that he was unrivaled in the culinary arts.
Firming himself up with such thoughts, Sanji knocked twice before simply opening up the door. He forced himself to stride in confidently without a word, glancing around dully at the room. It was barely larger than a prison cell, but a pirate ship it was quite luxurious. There were no windows, but that seemed to matter little with shelves taking up every possible inch of wall space. Books and thousands of small glass vials were secured down in various ways; a bizarre assortment of herbs and plants hung from the ceiling as they were dried out. It was hard enough just to make sense of the relative chaos in the room before he finally spotted it's occupant.
"S- sa- Sanji?" was stammered out from underneath the small table Usopp had constructed just for the timid reindeer. Chopper's hat and antlers were still sticking out above the chair, the strange little monster unable to hide himself quickly enough. Now that he recognized the intruder, their ship's doctor pulled himself back up onto his chair and twisted around to greet Sanji properly, his hooves making squeaks with each step. Sanji could only frown down at those big, liquid brown eyes and bright blue nose; the diminutive creature so cute it should be a crime. Sanji coughed once around his cigarette before sucking on it greedily again, reminding himself exactly why he had come here in the first place.
"Hey, I figured you might want a snack. You've been working in here all day long," Sanji offered smoothly, trying to be just as natural as he was around Nami and Robin. Chopper blinked down in obvious shock at the platter Sanji set down before him, lifting off the cover to reveal freshly baked muffins from blueberry to sunflower seed and steaming tea. Sanji was sure that Luffy was already digging into the leftovers, a dozen of each kind minus one set out unguarded on the table with the door open to allow the smell to drift out. Sanji didn't want any interruptions for this, glancing back at the door and wishing that it had a lock.
"Thank you! Wow, Sanji, you're so thoughtful," Chopper laughed out in amazement, relaxing at last. He took one muffin, happily munching on it while Sanji watched. Predictably, there were cries of 'delicious' and other typical comments that Sanji didn't even listen to. He was more relieved that the reindeer had actually been able to eat it, knowing well enough how delicate the animal's stomach was. Sanji took a small pouch out from his pocket, snapping it open and stabbing out the end of his cigarette on the inside of it. He dropped the almost-finished stick into the purse and returned it to his jacket, already wishing he had something to chew on instead of trying to talk to their ship's doctor. Sanji settled on biting his thumb for a moment, studying Chopper hard as he searched for the exact words.
"Is something wrong?" Chopper questioned considerately when Sanji stayed quiet for too long, pausing over. He could have kissed the reindeer for giving him the opening
"Actually, I've been having a little problem lately . . ." Sanji got that far before he trailed off, no longer sure of what to say. Chopper blinked back at him, obviously waiting for more. The doctor set his muffin down on the table and turned around to give Sanji his full attention, resting his front hooves on his knees and staring up at him.
"Do you feel sick?" Chopper's voice was filled with worry, his animal senses probably tipping him off to how serious this was Sanji was having a hard enough time with it himself, no doubt sweating and stinking of fear like humans tended to do. If he had to deal with anyone else on the ship, Sanji was sure he could have fooled them without a second thought. It was harder to do when the good doctor had a nose that could find him out at any minute.
"No, no, it's not that sort of thing," Sanji tried explaining, but he still couldn't force anything more out. He shifted around on his feet while Chopper watched calmly, the aches inside his body getting worse with every movement. Even the pain wasn't enough to motivate him, not yet. It was so damn embarrassing he might end up dying before he finally asked Chopper for help. Sanji really wished he could just go kick the hell out of the one responsible for this all in the first place, but in his current state, Sanji would probably end up a limp puddle on the floor for trying. Damn him for doing this.
"Well, what's wrong then?" Chopper urged Sanji to continue gently with a smile. He was pretty sure that he could trust the reindeer to keep a secret, especially when it was a medical problem. He was also damn sure that nobody else had come to Chopper with this sort of trouble before . . . but if he didn't get help soon he might be in serious trouble, Sanji was painfully reminded by the rolling of his stomach. At least he was alone with the doctor and had prepared some insurance to not be interrupted, swallowing his pride and letting out with it.
"I . . . I can't go to the bathroom," Sanji admitted at last, feeling a blush come across his face like he was twelve all over again. There was a slight pause as the doctor took the information in, killing Sanji as it stretched out to a dangerous length. Did it mean that something was seriously wrong with him? Could the doctor already be able to guess why he was like this?
"I thought Usopp fixed the door already- . . ." Chopper started obliviously, citing the threadbare sheet that had served as a temporary wall for privacy.
"No, it hurts too much to take a shit, and what I did manage was all fucking bloody!" Sanji cried out, letting the panic come out at last. He didn't want to dance around the subject any longer, worried that he had already waited too long and had managed to do irreversible damage to his innards.
Chopper just stared back at him in utter shock, mouth open and whole body frozen over at Sanji's outburst. He didn't know if he had just startled the reindeer or if Chopper was too disgusted to speak. It wasn't like Sanji had any other choice, since nobody else on this ship could possibly be able to do something for him besides Chopper. He could go to the one at fault, but Sanji most definitely didn't want to talk to Zoro about the aftereffect of being screwed into the galley table. It was a matter of pride, and he knew that Zoro would think him weaker and vulnerable than he really was if the brutish swordsman caught wind of this.
"When did it start? Did you get food poisoning?" Chopper questioned as soon as he recovered, much more confident than Sanji would have given the little creature credit for. He was a doctor after all, and seemed to be taking Sanji's yelling very seriously. What if it really was something grim and deadly! He was too young to die- and for such a stupid reason too! Zoro would probably never be able to stop laughing over his grave . . .
"I would be able to tell if something had gone bad!" Sanji snapped back angrily, not about to let his cooking skills be called into question as well. As if he would dare serve something that was rotten- beyond the time he couldn't stop Luffy before their captain was scarfing down moldy bread and the like. Sanji didn't understand how the idiot could still be alive after the things he'd shoved down his throat.
"Then, how long have you been having this problem?" Chopper demanded, his tiny voice able to sound quite fierce right now. Despite being a small deer, the serious look in his eye told Sanji all. He was scared out of his mind, certain he was fatally ill or such. All he could do was pray that Chopper would be able to do something, no matter how ridiculous the circumstances were. No matter how much he didn't want to say it, he would have to explain it all to his doctor if Sanji wanted to be healed.
"After . . . AfterZoroandididit," he mumbled out softly, crossing his arms and doing his best to avoid eye contact with the doctor. Again with that damn silence as Chopper tried to make sense of that embarrassed whisper. Sanji didn't want to have to repeat himself- just wanted Chopper to give him some pills or something and say that everything was going to be all right. Was he going to have to tell Zoro he was dying because the muscle-brained idiot fucked him too hard?
"What?" Chopper obviously hadn't caught his drift, unable to pick up on his discomfort and bright blush that was going from the back of his neck to the top of his hairline. The reindeer was so damn innocent about some things, and could be just as dense as Luffy. He wouldn't be able to use any innuendoes to explain or they would end up being here all day.
"I- shit," Sanji cursed to himself, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Chopper's reaction.
"I had sex with Zoro."
There.
He couldn't be any clearer than that. Sanji didn't feel any relief at finally announcing the cause of this, just numb humiliation that was managing to overpower the ache between his hips. He didn't know how much longer he would be able to remain standing, but he couldn't sit down comfortably either- as he had already unpleasantly discovered this morning. He had been left more sore than after any fight he'd been in, Zoro managing to imprint bruises everywhere on him, even in some spots he didn't ever remember the swordsman touching. He looked more like he'd been mauled than indulged in the most extreme, mind-blowing sex of his life. But, those were all unnecessary details right now. It wasn't like Sanji could lie about anyone else doing it, since they had already been sailing for weeks since the last island; and he certainly didn't want Chopper getting the idea that he had let Usopp or Luffy paw at him in such a manner. He was truly surrounded by idiots, finally opening up his eyes to glance at the stunned and mute doctor that was no longer even looking at him . . . just stunned out of his small, furry little skull.
"Intercourse," Sanji tried a different word, one that sounded more medical and Chopper was more likely to know. He gained two separate, hard blinks from Chopper, the creaking of the boat growing louder and louder as the reindeer mulled over the information. He was looking Sanji up and down in a way that would have made him kick the utter crap out of anyone else- but right now, Chopper was his only hope to fix whatever Zoro had done to his body.
"But, you're both guys . . ." Chopper mumbled, shaking his head in confusion. He probably had anatomy books with something written about human intercourse- but it was unlikely that any of those medical books had anything to do with gay sex. He didn't want to have to explain that as well, already in intense pain and humiliated past the point of no return. He'd never be able to look Chopper in the eyes again, even if the doctor barely came up to Sanji's knees in his usual form.
"It can happen, trust me. I need some help here, please," Sanji didn't care if he was starting to whine. He was desperate for physician's word that he was just overreacting that he was going to be okay if he just slept on it. His stomach had been cramping badly when he begun moving around in the morning, and it had already turned into an unbearable torment a bit after lunchtime. He was just going to have to ask Zoro to knock him unconscious if Chopper couldn't do anything, because Sanji was losing his ability to deal with this in a collected and rational way.
"Well, I guess there's no choice then. I'm going to have to examine you . . . down there, of course," Chopper announced at last, in a stammering voice that sounded just as uncomfortable about this as Sanji. But, as their ship's doctor, he had a duty to see to their good health. Sanji had just never had this sort of problem before, ready to die after Chopper tried to avoid saying anything about his rear. Sanji had no doubt he'd be hearing some interesting substitutions for anus, since Chopper was having such a hard time even understanding what his plight was. He didn't want to have to go into any further detail himself, forcing himself to unclench his jaw and try to get this over with as quickly as possible.
"Of course I know that. Just- just where do you want me to go?" Sanji asked in a rougher voice than he meant to use, beginning to undo his belt as Chopper began to rush about the place and prepare for the examination.
"Zoro! Look at what I caught!" Luffy demanded excitedly when Zoro emerged from below deck, in a clean shirt, pants, and his waistband with all three swords tucked inside, comfortably barefoot at the end of all that. His head was still wet, but his short hair would dry out in no time with the ocean breeze and sun. Their luck with the weather lately had been so good that Zoro was expecting a storm or whirlpool at any time just to make up for the fact. Fishing had been particularly successful lately as well, though Zoro was getting a craving for real meat. They might run across an island and Zoro could have a chance to hunt down a wild animal- or he could simply attack the cook that was trying so very hard to ignore the fact that Zoro was even alive. He still didn't see Sanji anywhere on deck, though it looked like the rest of the crew had gathered around. Nami and Robin were talking together at the helm while Usopp and Luffy sat on the edge of the railing with fishing poles. Usopp was still glaring down at the waters in fierce concentration while Luffy pointed at the catch he had managed to bring in.
Zoro made a choking noise at the strange creatures still twitching on the deck, doubting if any of them were edible. There was something that might have been a squid, except it had claws and three large eyes on the top of its head. A bloated, bright green fish with a strange and prickly skin covering it looked poisonous, and the large chunk of seaweed drying out next to them both simply wasn't good at all. Even Zoro didn't have to be some snot-nosed, smart-mouth, stingy-assed cook to know that, having fended for himself his entire life. He had learned to avoid the creatures with bright colors, because they usually upset the stomach if not worse. However, Luffy's belly was made of stronger stuff than his- practically inhuman at what the fool could stuff down his throat and digest safely.
"I wonder if Sanji can make something good with this," Luffy sang aloud, slapping the bottom of his sandals together as he hung dangerously over the edge. Zoro couldn't help a glance over at the kitchen after the bastard's name was mentioned . . . and was rather shocked to see it open. Sanji liked to shut himself up in the galley, away from everyone else so he could cook in peace. It also seemed like everything he did consisted of preparing meals- in a desperate attempt to avoid him, in Zoro's opinion. He had already done his best in actually trying to talk things out, but Sanji still seemed to be upset about one little friendly fuck. Zoro hadn't expected it to mean so much to the blonde . . . or to himself. The awkward air between them was killing him, but he didn't have the slightest clue how to change it.
"So, where is that shitty cook?" Zoro drawled, trying to be casual. Luffy shrugged in his usual, oblivious manner as he turned back to his fishing. Usopp, however, began grinning in a mischievous way that Zoro didn't like very much at all
"You don't know? Did you guys have a fight?" Usopp asked with an arched eyebrow, trying to put some sort of second meaning into his words that Zoro was too tired to follow. He had already wasted all his energy on that damned blonde, allowing himself to get worked up and angry just because Sanji was that fucking good at getting under his skin. Zoro either wanted to punch the smug bastard or screw the living daylights out of him . . . and one had definitely been better than the other. It didn't seem like Sanji agreed with him though, stubbornly hiding from Zoro like he had contracted the plague.
"We're always fighting, you numbskull!" he snapped back, frustrated with the whole deal. He didn't need the others starting to make smart comments as well. He already had gotten his fill from Sanji the last time he'd been stupid enough to try talking with the man. Maybe if the fool would stop making food and actually start eating, he wouldn't have such a sour attitude all the time. Zoro was surrounded by idiots on all sides.
"But, now it's a lover's quarrel . . ." Usopp insinuated with a singsong tone.
"WHAT!" Zoro yelled out, raising up his fist to bash some sense into the skinny smart-ass . . . only to find himself facing empty air as Usopp took off for the other end of the ship. That long-nosed freak sure knew how to run, almost not worth the effort to chase after. Not when he had somehow found out about their little tryst. Zoro prayed that nobody had seen anything, his mind going blank with embarrassment at the thought of it. He turned back around to Luffy in numb resignation; recalling just how big Usopp's mouth was.
"Does everyone already know?" Zoro sighed.
Luffy nodded, his rubber neck making the movement exaggerated.
Zoro grumbled out a few necessary curses as he rested his elbows down on the railing next to his oblivious captain. He watched the fishing line Luffy had cast in the water, trying to collect his thoughts and strategize. Suddenly, everything just made sense. It was no wonder Sanji had been avoiding him if the others had been teasing him. Zoro was already pissed off and it had barely been five minutes since he finally awoke from his perpetual napping. Sometimes, he just hated the rest of his crewmates and the small confines of the ship. Zoro always liked to climb up to the crow's nest on the main mast and sleep up there where he wouldn't be disturbed, far away from everyone else with a fresh breeze that almost made him feel like he was back on open land. Sanji, however, preferred to hole himself up in the kitchen, in the small corner where the stove was, and just cook himself into exhaustion. It usually worked, since everyone on the ship eventually got hungry at some point . . . except things weren't as simple as that anymore. If Zoro went into the galley looking for a meal, Sanji was definitely going to take everything the wrong way. He moaned at the hopelessness of his situation, sinking down further against the railing.
"Zoro, what's wrong?" Luffy asked at last, even a simpleton like him able to understand something was bothering the legendary pirate hunter. Zoro was sick and tired of other people judging and assuming certain things about him without even attempting once to actually talk to him. Mainly Sanji.
"Nothing," Zoro grumbled back automatically. Luffy just made a humming noise at that. He clearly wasn't satisfied with the answer, but knew better than to push the point right now. Sometimes, Luffy was the best person to talk to, even if he was the biggest idiot on the ship. Luffy just somehow understood all of his nakama on a basic, primal level. He admitted that Usopp, Chopper, Nami, Robin, and Sanji were all the type of people that he would have never bothered with before. Since being swindled into this patchwork of a pirate crew, Zoro had learned to tolerate and even appreciate everyone's little idiosyncrasies. He could trust all of them, even if they didn't always get along. It was all thanks to Luffy, who didn't even seem aware of the sort of power he had. Zoro still was unable to explain why he had decided to follow that moron as a captain, especially when they kept getting sucked into another tiring adventure that seemed to serve no other purpose than causing complete chaos at every port they docked in. What was more bizarre was the fact that Zoro stayed around.
"You know . . . if it doesn't work out with Sanji, you and I could always - . . ." Luffy left the rest of it unsaid. Zoro couldn't be more thankful for anything in his entire life. The sheer physics of it made his head hurt. With Luffy being made of rubber, just how could- . . .
No.
He wasn't thinking about it any further.
It was already sick enough that he'd fucked Sanji.
"Thanks, Luffy. I'll tell you when I'm desperate," Zoro waved his idiot captain off, not needing another person to compound his problems. He was already having a hard enough time with Sanji. There was no reason for that blonde to be so damn ill tempered all the time. Even he wasn't that bad, except when someone was trying to interrupt his napping. Zoro didn't even care about the gossip that was probably circulating about their small ship
Luffy made a happy noise that constituted as him saying 'everything's okay, talking time is over' and turned back to his fishing. No hurt feelings, just pure honesty. Despite it all, Luffy was one of the most real people Zoro had ever met. Their captain meant every word he said, no matter how stupid it may sound to others.
Zoro left his captain there, scratching at his hair and left to wonder just when everything had gone to hell. He couldn't particularly recall any grievous errors- in fact; he'd been handling this all rather nicely compared to the fit Sanji was pitching right now. Why couldn't he actually be the cool, jazzy gentleman he faked all the time? Sanji had a wonderful act going on, perfect enough to match his body and face . . . beyond that damn eye. Despite it all, Zoro couldn't help getting the shudders. He had wounds before, had large, hideous scars that would never heal. He just learned to deal with it, and eventually became proud of his battle medals. Zoro would even laugh aloud when Usopp retold their past adventures with his own twisted humor, able to find his past, weak self a pathetic figure to scorn and forget about.
There was nothing to laugh about after seeing that milky-white iris and pupil. Sanji really was blind in his left eye. There was no fucking way that he would be able to see out of it, not with that sort of damage. Sanji was too damn good at pretending in the end, because Zoro had never noticed his disability before. But, now that he thought about it, Zoro could recall when Sanji would walk closely to at least one of their crew when they finally landed; needing to use someone he could trust to gauge distances and thread through a crowd by example. Zoro didn't understand how Sanji had lasted in that floating restaurant they'd first met their cook in, strutting around like he was the owner in the middle of the chaotic dining room. Seeing that disfigured, mutilated eye made Zoro feel guiltier than the fact he nearly fucked the both of them into unconsciousness. He didn't even understand it himself, but he wasn't about to sit around and let it get any worse.
He fucking hated blondes.
Zoro wasn't going to allow Sanji rule his thoughts any more. He no longer cared if that shitty cook was upset for something Zoro didn't even know that he'd done, if Sanji was more sensitive than Zoro had ever imagined, and that he felt goddamn awkward around the man now that he knew Sanji's dirty little secret- not that he was gay, but had that terrible eye hidden under his hair.
Luffy continued to fish obliviously, starting to hum an off-key tune as if to hurry Zoro along. Since Usopp and Luffy didn't know where Sanji was and Zoro wasn't about to ask either of the ladies on board, that left the reindeer. Chopper seemed to get along well with Sanji for some reason . . . hell, he got along with anyone. Even Zoro couldn't come up with any other word than 'cute' for the little freak. Despite having the courage of a mouse, Chopper could easily transform into a tremendously strong ally, or a good enough doctor to stuff organs back into a body and sew it up nice so they wouldn't fall out again. Zoro had to admit he could tell the difference between the dark, jagged old scars healed with home remedies and pure will power, and the clean white lines of the wounds that Chopper had treated. Helplessly, Zoro couldn't help but think back to Sanji's mutilated eye, puckered, milky, blind; the image forever burned into Zoro's mind whether he liked it or not.
Either they were going to have to talk about this or screw again, and both seemed like equally unlikely possibilities. At least he could bet on Sanji trying to play nice in front of Chopper. Nobody liked to fight in front of the worrisome creature, who was so damn sensitive to every little upset . . . and a confrontation was likely to be violent, if things were anything like last time. Zoro simply couldn't understand it, and it was beginning to frustrate him past his limits. Roronoa Zoro didn't spend time thinking about other people's feelings. He was either training, fighting, or napping, and he didn't see a damn thing wrong about it. Sanji was going to have to understand that, if Zoro had to shove a piece of advice right up his snobbish, upturned nose.
Confirming himself again, Zoro strode over to the large cabin door that led to their ship's infirmary, opening without even knocking. He didn't need to, but in retrospect, Zoro wished he had. Nothing would quite prepare him for the sight of Sanji bent over the far countertop with his pants dropped down around his ankles, Chopper standing on a small stool behind those skinny white legs, face-first with Sanji's ass. Zoro's vision tunneled down on those two, so immersed in their business they didn't even notice him frozen in the middle of the open doorway.
"Is it any better?" Chopper questioned Sanji in such a way that Zoro wanted to stomp over and tear the good doctor off of the blonde without further notice. The only problem was that Zoro couldn't even get his eyes to blink away from this waking nightmare. He'd suffered through near-fatal wounds with more grace; absolutely staggered by the morbid scene he'd walked in on.
"Oh, shi- . . . Yeah. Better," Sanji's smoky voice couldn't even make a full sentence because whatever the hell Chopper was doing to his ass was so good. Zoro felt like he'd just walked in on the coldest winter day possible, frozen down to the core. He had been compared to Chopper and found lacking. That childish, naïve reindeer could please Sanji better than him. It defied common sense. How the hell was he supposed to react to something like this? He'd killed people before for less- this was personal and simply too fucked up to face right now.
Zoro turned around, walked out the room, and closed the door behind him so slowly and softly he thought he might be having an out-of-body experience. The clockwork of his mind had shuddered and came to a complete halt, stuck on the memory of Chopper standing behind Sanji and asking how he compared to Zoro in sexual prowess. He could have died out of humiliation on the spot, if it wouldn't have left his corpse there as evidence. Zoro had to distance himself as quickly as possible, all that thinking about making up with Sanji blown away.
He had never been the victim of lovesickness and the resulting jealousy before, and he didn't like it one fucking bit. He found himself evaluating their relationship and noticing at last just how fragile and weak it was. A few hours making love and sleeping together for a while afterward didn't qualify as anything meaningful when compared to the longer history of Sanji and him fighting all the time. Sanji didn't squeal and fall over himself trying to flatter and flirt with Zoro like he did with the other two women on the ship . . . and anything recognizable as female when they landed on shore. Despite all that talk, Zoro ended up being the only one that actually cared about what had happened. Zoro had been serious about having something lasting between them. He obviously hadn't been clear enough if Sanji was already fucking around with the ship's doctor.
"Back again so soon?" Robin asked in a teasing tone as she glanced over the edge of her book, grinning aristocratically from her lawn chair. Zoro paced by her without a second thought, returning to the open deck at the helm of the ship where he wouldn't have any more distractions. Sanji and Chopper would likely be busy for a while longer. Usopp and Luffy were still hauling up all sorts of mysterious creatures from the ocean, Nami was drawing maps somewhere in private away from the general chaos of their lives, and Zoro could depend on Robin to just shut up and keep on reading. He wouldn't be able to handle any sort of communication right now either, made absolutely miserable by Sanji's second choice of bedmates. People, animals, and Devil Fruit freaks were beginning to piss him off in general. Robin was astute enough to see that all in his body language alone, not another word uttered as he breezed past her table.
He had somehow allowed them all to get the upper hand on him when he was undoubtedly the strongest fighter on their ship. Zoro didn't need some monstrous and bizarre Devil Fruit power to beat down his enemies. He wasn't a man to be made out for a fool, as Sanji seemed so bound and determined on doing. That blonde had somehow managed to get underneath his skin and in between him and his self-control. Zoro could barely even think straight when Sanji was around, always drawn into one worthless fight after another. Zoro had thought he'd gotten it all figured out after he finally just screwed that foul-mouthed cook into a nice pile of warm muscle and pliant lips . . .
That wasn't the sort of shit he should be considering when he was trying to stay pissed off at that cheating, lying, half-blind freak!
Immediately Zoro winced and shook his head at his own insensitivity. It wasn't fair to call a man on a disability he could do nothing about- it was like complaining over the fact that Usopp's nose was absurdly long. There was nothing they could do about the bodies they had been born with. The attitude, however, was something that could be messed around with. Sanji had gone from a flexible and yielding lover to a mute, icy bastard in a matter of minutes. Now that Zoro knew there was another side to Sanji, he was beginning to hate the usual front more and more. He didn't care if it would take another hard pounding in the most literal sense to force that vulnerability and openness out of Sanji again. He was going to show Sanji once and for all just who was the best on this ship, be it fighting or fucking. Simple as that.
Zoro took a deep, clearing breath that pushed out all those frivolous thoughts and centered himself. One more to shut out the pounding of the waves against the ship's hull, to close his eyes and feel the true life-force subtly running through everything. His palm dropped to the familiar and worn hilt of the Meitou treasure he'd been entrusted with, running down the leather grip with a touch far softer than any he would use for a lover . . . becoming whole again as he felt his arm and reach meld with the blade until it was a part of his body.
He drew the whole glimmering and razor-sharp length in one explosive motion, dust that had collected on the deck lifting up from the force of his movement and shooting out in a perfect wave.
To anyone else, it would have seemed like a flawless sword technique, but his confusion and turmoil was so obvious in the quivering blade that Zoro became even more disgusted with himself, as if such was possible. He sheathed the named blade, pausing for a moment and then attempting to draw it again. He'd practice as much as it took to blank Sanji completely out and salvage his resolve to become the greatest swordsman in the world.
There were twelve wooden planks between the floor and the ceiling.
There were forty-eight nails holding the wall together.
There were sixty-four tiles on the counter Sanji was bent over, cold air hitting his bare ass as he waited for Chopper to finish his inspection. His pants and belt were down by his ankles, spread as widely as possible before the pain would start knifing through his gut. Sanji couldn't be more mortified than if he'd been caught singing aloud completely naked. It wasn't like he had much of a choice though. Sanji would have loved to lock himself up in the kitchen and hide out until his wounds . . . or whatever this could be called healed, but he didn't have that sort of luxury right now. Seeing bloodstains on the inside of his underwear had been shocking enough, but the red droplets dissolving in the water of the toilet bowl had nearly made him cry in the midst of his panic. Who the hell would be able to help him this sort of problem? It wasn't like he could talk to the one responsible, not about to let Zoro know he'd been so fragile and delicate that the swordsman had managed to rearrange his internal organs with a few violent thrusts.
Sanji felt tears burn at the corners of his eyes, distantly hearing Chopper apologize yet again as the reindeer stared into his asshole. There was no way to distract himself, overwhelmed with hurt from the inside out. It was so damn hard to stay still, laying half on his stomach as he waited for Chopper to finish the inspection. The ship doctor still had hooves when in his regular, miniature form, cold things that didn't warm up to Sanji's skin as he was poked yet again. He attempted to repress every flinch and shudder that involuntarily went through his body, hating Zoro more and more every second. If it weren't for that arrogant, careless, oblivious bastard, he would have never been in this predicament.
Chopper finally seemed to come to some sort of diagnosis, hoping down from the stool he had used to get eye-level with Sanji's bleeding anus. He trotted off to mix together medicine, explaining what he was about to do while Sanji didn't listen to a word of it. He just wanted to be told that everything would be okay, he could take some kind of pill, sleep it off, and wake up tomorrow morning like nothing had ever happened. If it wasn't for the blinding pain in between his hips that was sparked off by every deep breath and too-quick movement, Sanji wouldn't have had to think about what had happened with him and Zoro at all. Instead, he was miserable, perplexed, and constipated to all hell. He couldn't make sense of Zoro, and he couldn't imagine the reaction if Sanji told him exactly what was going on. He could hardly explain it to Chopper, even though the reindeer was currently his treating physician.
Sanji made fists in the table, clenching his teeth as he tried not to think about anything. All he had to do right now was stay still until Chopper fixed things. Then, he'd probably go right back to the cozy privacy of the galley and finish off a bottle of wine by himself. Why wouldn't Chopper at least give him the dignity of some kind of anesthetic? Sanji would prefer to be unconscious until he could take a shit normally. He couldn't stand this sort of internal pain anymore, a burning fire on the inside of his organs that he could do nothing to relieve. He wouldn't have even come to Chopper unless he was utterly desperate . . . and he'd passed that stage a few hours ago alone in the bathroom with a toilet bowl full of blood. It had taken a while to calm down the tears and the throbbing hurt radiating from his ass, and longer still to muster up the courage to actually tell someone about it; anyone but Zoro. The swordsman would probably laugh at him for being so goddamn dainty and breakable.
"Okay, Sanji, this should help with the pain, first off," Chopper's voice announced behind him. Sanji just clenched his eyes shut, unable to respond, twitching about like a wild animal as he heard Chopper climb back up onto his stool. He bit into the bottom of his lip, concentrating on staying still and calm from now on. That little blue-nosed reindeer was his only hope right now, the silence so strained and heavy that Sanji could hear Chopper applying an unknown medicine to an oversized cotton swab.
Despite his resolve, Sanji flinched against the counter hard enough to bruise when Chopper swiped his anus for the first time. It may be medical treatment, but Sanji was still rather apprehensive when his pants were down on the floor and the doctor was sticking a cotton swab up his rear . . .
. . . and then the cream, ointment, whatever the hell it was kicked in, a tingling numb sensation that worked its way through heated skin to the bruised organs underneath. Sanji's teeth dug down deeper into his bottom lip as Chopper began to generously apply more.
It took everything he had to not moan wantonly like Zoro and him were at it all over again. Sanji's knees went watery and weak with the instant relief, eyes tearing up helplessly as he melted on top of the counter. It was a good thing he was already bent over something, because Sanji didn't think he had the strength to stand up on his own right now.
"Is it any better?" Chopper asked softly, obviously nervous and waiting for Sanji to say that the homemade balm wasn't working. He almost didn't even register the question, digging the back of his thumbs into his eye sockets in an attempt to contain himself. His ass had been pulsating nothing but pure hurt ever since he'd woken up the morning after, and to have that pain be treated so quickly was nothing short of a miracle.
"Oh, shi- . . . Yeah. Better," Sanji tried to sound as cool and distant as possible. One of them had to play it distant and unmoved by this awkward predicament; Sanji just didn't know why it had to be him when he was the one with his bare butt sticking out into the air right now. Chopper was an excellent doctor, nobody would argue that, but he lacked the professional carriage. Sanji supposed it was because Chopper was a reindeer in the end, timid with a fight-or-flight instinct ingrained to the bone.
"Try to relax for this part," Chopper suggested, but Sanji wasn't sure if it was meant for him or the doctor. He gritted his teeth, expecting some sort of pain after that kind of warning. Instead, it was another swab of that wonderfully numbing medicine before Chopper stuck a needle through the edges of torn and broken skin. Sanji could distantly feel cool, smooth hooves pressing on secret inner flesh, amazing deft and tactile as Chopper somehow managed to thread several stitches through the damaged and bleeding walls of his anus. It was better to stay amazed with the creature's skill rather than think about what he was really doing.
At least the numbness was spreading all the way up to his bellybutton and down to his thighs, the procedure barely even registering inside Sanji's head. The burning, cramping ache was finally gone, Sanji's gut rumbling in anticipation of finally being able to release everything that had become backed up in there. Damn Zoro for putting him through this in the first place. He would have never had to go to Chopper for help if Zoro had just used a touch of restraint instead of rutting like a stray dog. To think that he had actually believed in Zoro's little display of comfort and fumbling but kind words. Sanji was so used to complimenting women he came across that he never realized nobody had ever done the same to him . . . not in the simple, honest way Zoro had said that he liked Sanji's hands.
He couldn't understand it at all. He had always taken care of his hands; a chef's livelihood. There were a few knicks along his thumbs and pointer fingers from when he'd still been a clumsy kid struggling just to skin potatoes properly, but his nails were neatly trimmed and kept meticulously clean. He only used his hands to cook- rarely even took them out of his pockets when he was fighting. That shitty old man had gone on about hygiene in the kitchen every single damn day, but Sanji hadn't ever really appreciated it until now. Funny to think that the tense and shaking fists he was making right now were the very same things that made Zoro attracted to him.
"- . . . and we're done with that," Chopper's announcement broke in through his thoughts. Sanji didn't even realize he had been so wrapped up in himself until the reindeer had said something; starting again when Chopper yanked out a needle from his left buttock that Sanji hadn't even noticed going in. Even though Chopper had declared that they were finished with this part of the treatment, Sanji couldn't move as heavy, leaden medication flooded through his veins. It hurt in a different kind of way, like his foot had gone to sleep . . . except this was his ass and his muscles were beginning to relax so much that Sanji was in danger of letting his bowels go while standing there.
He gathered himself up mutely, pulling pants back into place and gingerly doing up the fly; despite Chopper's remedies, his body was still screaming protest at any straining or bending. He buckled his belt a few holes too big, certainly not able to bear anything tight around the hips quite yet. Sanji had to resist the urge to rub his ass; still smarting from whatever Chopper had shot into him. He glared at the back of the small little creature that had just probably saved his life . . . unable to pick up the broken little fragments of his pride off the floor like he had with his pants. It was hard to keep himself from getting angry with Chopper just because the poor guy was the only one around right now. He should really just try to save it all for Zoro, the sole person responsible for this mess.
"Here, take this," Chopper held up a small flask for him. For one eager moment, Sanji thought the doctor had been kind enough to give his patient hard liquor after standing there mutely through the whole embarrassing mess. One sip later, he found himself sputtering and gagging at the bitter, thick syrup hidden inside.
"It's a laxative," Chopper explained, somehow able to blush through a coat of dark brown fur. "It'll help- . . ."
Sanji was already guzzling the rest before Chopper could tell him more, blocking out this horrible conversation, promising himself a real drink and a few cigarettes after he escaped from the room.
Sweat was dripping into his eyes, but he didn't even blink. Motionless, breathless, poised like the fine, razor sharp edge of the Meitou. Both hands on the hilt, quietly staring out into the white fog that tinged his surroundings with the ever-unpredictable weather of the Grand Line. Moisture was collecting on the shining metal of the blade, the small droplets not even shaking with the incredible control he held over the katana. Absolutely perfect form and nothing else.
Zoro swung down one more time, cutting the air hard enough to blow away the fog that was covering the helm and peel the paint off the railing caught in the path of the dispersed force. It was finally good enough for him to sheathe the blade and relax . . . his arms and legs becoming heavy as exhaustion set in immediately. He didn't know how long he had been practicing with Kuina's katana as he slid it back into place by its two little brothers. It had been enough for him to work up quiet a sweat as Zoro became aware of the minor discomforts of his body. He had already tossed his shirt off a while ago when it became soaked with perspiration and started to hinder his movements. Now that he had stopped moving around, the cold and wet air hit him like a slap in the face. Zoro couldn't even see past the main mast, not noticing how thick the fog had become while he'd been concentrating on his sword work.
He decided he liked it better out here, in a little bit of privacy made possible by the crazy weather on the Grand Line. Zoro threw himself down into one of the chairs at the table Robin had been sitting at . . . he had been aware of her presence leaving, that peculiar air that all humans had about them fading away to leave Zoro in a completely undistracted state. He just didn't know when it had been, the flow of time lost to him after repetitively executing one-sword techniques that required deep focus and attention. He was quite ready for a nap, not even sure what had gotten him so worked up in the first place. It was nice to have such a release through exercise, gaining a thorough weariness that went all the way down to his bones . . . too damn tired to really think about anything at all.
He threw his feet up on the table, leaning back over the chair with full intention of taking a na- . . .
"Yo, Zoro! Did you and Sanji make up, or are you still free?" Luffy's voice immediately broke the comfortable silence as Zoro's captain came wandering out of the fog in his usual, oblivious state. He glared at the smiling idiot, hating Luffy for reminding him of that shitty cook. Just where did Sanji get off ignoring him after they had been so intimate? Selfish, blonde bastard.
"Have you seen Sanji talk to me lately?" Zoro spat back bitterly, not even expecting Luffy to catch the sarcasm. He was answered with a negative shake of Luffy's head as the rubber man sat down in the opposite chair. Zoro felt like he was caught in a staring match with a child; those blank, black eyes not giving away anything as they simply absorbed the world around him. It was pure insanity that Zoro honestly thought Luffy was one man who could fight him on a equal level . . . sometimes the desire to truly prove just who was strongest burned so badly that their fellow crewmates had to break the two of them up. He knew Luffy felt the same, the simple and mute understanding between them so much easier than that awful fuck-up of whatever Zoro and Sanji had.
"So, what's gonna happen? 'Cause my offer still stands," Luffy mentioned it yet again, as if he hadn't already made it obvious enough that he was ready and willing at any moment. Hell, Zoro could probably screw Luffy right there on the table and the idiot wouldn't even care. The only problem was he simply respected Luffy too much to take the risk . . . and would feel like a filthy pedophile taking advantage of their terribly slow and naïve captain. No matter what his age, Luffy was no better than a three-year-old in some aspects.
"Do me a favor and shut up about that already," Zoro snapped back, wearied at the thought of dealing with Sanji and Luffy at the same time. He didn't like complex manners, hated having to talk about such obscure things as emotions. Zoro didn't reflect on himself, he just moved forward with unwavering devotion. It was that sort of passion had first drawn him to Luffy and his determination to becoming the Pirate King. Nobody had ever been able to stifle that dream- or defeat Luffy in a bare fisted fight down to the last man standing.
"Zooooroooo, you're no fun lately!" he complained, whining and thumping his fists down on the table. Zoro groaned and threw his head back over the chair, utterly weak under the onslaught of Luffy's full attention. All he wanted was a few minutes alone to forget about his troubles, but instead he got them shoved right up his nose.
"There you are! Luffy, why is the bathroom door broken again!" Usopp screeched as he came charging up the stairs, the fog seeming to cling to that ridiculous hair of his. He spared a single glance in Zoro's direction before slamming his fist into the back of their captain's head. It only sent that indestructible, thick skull ricocheting around on Luffy's stretchable neck. He put a hand on the back of his hat to hold it down and steady himself before turning around to argue with Usopp.
"But, I really had to go and it was in the way-. . . " Luffy began to plead his case while Zoro sighed tiredly.
"Everyone else manages to open the door without a problem!" Usopp screeched out predictably while their captain began to hunch his shoulders underneath the berating. Zoro could almost feel sorry for the guy; but it wasn't Nami yelling at Luffy.
"Idiot!" Usopp added on, as if he had meant to have it in the first sentence but had only now remembered to use it. Luffy mumbled something about being sorry while Usopp began to list the damages Luffy had caused to Going Merry since they had left the last port, each item visible bringing their captain down further. Luffy finally began to defended himself, trying to give explanation for why he'd fallen through the deck, lower level, and barely stopped before going through the bottom of the hull. It was simply a bad mix of monstrous strength and indestructibility coupled with terrible clumsiness, Luffy managing to trip over pure air at times.
Zoro was already tuning them out, determined not to get involved unless the two started physically fighting and he would have to pull them apart. All he wanted now was the sweet oblivion of a nice, long nap . . .
He smelled cigarette smoke, even more invasive than the yelling competition on the other side of the table that Usopp and Luffy were engaging in. The arm sliding over his shoulder was definitely in his personal space, along with the particular warmth of another person pressing against his bare back. Usopp and Luffy both went mute and still at the sight of Sanji being so utterly obvious and deliberate- the way he usually was around the girls.
Zoro glanced up at the shitty cook so close to him, as if the he hadn't been all but outright running away before. He could only see the elegant curve of chin and blonde hair falling into his face. He shouldn't be taking notice of Sanji's loose tie along with the skin that was revealed by that loose collar. Zoro should have gotten up from the table and given Sanji the same cold treatment he'd been dishing out before.
Instead, he sat there in the same sort of dumb stupor that had taken over Usopp and Luffy as well while Sanji mutely placed a freshly cooked meal down in front of him. Both dishes were steaming in the wet and cold air, the aroma good enough to fill a man's stomach. Zoro stared down at thin, well-cooked pieces of fish that had already been deboned and marinated in a dark brown sauce, obviously taken from the earlier fishing . . . and a slab of the precious, salted red meat that had preserved, stored, and somehow survived through Luffy's constant kitchen raids. Zoro couldn't help but raise up an eyebrow, wondering just what had sparked this impromptu gesture. It couldn't be that Sanji had suddenly realized what a snobbish ass he'd been and was trying to apologize. He had too much pride for that.
Zoro was left floundering and speechless, rather at a loss as how to react. He had been just fine with that justified anger and jealousy before- now he was just confused. He just wanted to backhand the shitty cook, but couldn't even figure out why. Sanji disengaged himself just as casually as he'd come, his hand trailing along Zoro's shoulder and squeezing so subtly that no one watching would see anything strange. It was enough to send a chill down his spine, fidgeting about nervously in his chair as Sanji finally backed off to his usual distance.
"Wow, Sanji, how did you know we were hungry?" Usopp asked, a dirty hand reaching across the table to grab at the food. It was slapped away with unnerving accuracy while at the same time; Sanji grabbed Luffy's wrist with his other hand. He effectively blocked the both of them from even drooling on the table, tossing the two idiots back like stray animals.
"There's scraps in the kitchen that are good enough for you shitheads!" Sanji snapped out in his characteristically sour way, but there was a little more heat in it than necessary. It was clearly a vague threat to get the hell out of the general area, abruptly territorial- but he only acted that way around the girls. Zoro was still the only one at the table. Usopp seemed to notice that something wasn't quite right with the situation, massaging his hand that was already turning red from the force of Sanji's slap, while Luffy took off for the galley, leaving a trail in the fog behind him. Usopp sighed in defeat, shuffling off after his captain before Sanji said anything more.
"Well, what the hell is this all about?" Zoro demanded gruffly, not about to show that he was affected in any manner. Sanji didn't have that sort of power over him, certainly not just because of one night.
The blonde didn't even answer him, strolling around Zoro's side of the table in a way that demanded a man's full attention. Like a magician making his entrance onto the stage, Sanji turned around once and suddenly there was a bottle of wine set down in front of him. Zoro just watched quietly as clean, trim fingernails picked off the wax seal around the cork; long, white hands working the neck of the bottle in way that made Zoro think terrible, awful things about what else Sanji could be doing with that exact motion.
"Monsieur? Is there a problem?" the blonde asked in a low, smoky voice that was pure sin. His hand didn't stop; instead, it became more deliberate as Sanji played around with a corkscrew. The wine bottle went between his thighs as Sanji popped the cork in one quick jerk. Then, he was pouring a glass for Zoro and holding it out for him, making Zoro wonder just what else the cook had managed to hide in that apron. Zoro looked up despite the intelligent part of him was screaming to stop, into that amused smirk and curly eyebrow raised up suggestively . . .
. . . and realized Sanji was flirting with him.
Zoro didn't even really care to understand it. He was too damn tired to think about this any more. He took the glass with as much grace as could be mustered in a situation like this, set it down carefully, and immediately snapped his hand out to grab Sanji by his necktie. The cook had the sense of mind to grab his cigarette away to safety before Zoro dragged the moody blonde down to his mouth, kissing him hard. There was no chance for the other man to run away now when Zoro finally had made a solid leash to Sanji. Mouths opened, tongues beginning wrestle, and he st- . . .
"Stop! Stop right there!" Chopper yelled out, his hooves making loud clicks on the deck as he came rushing up the stairs.
Zoro didn't have words, that jealousy and angry part of him sparked off all over again. He literally growled at the reindeer, sure the creature would be able to understand the basic meaning as he grabbed Sanji around the waist and hauled the shitty cook down onto his lap. Sanji laughed aloud at the rough handling, arm falling down around his shoulders before the back of thin, muscular thighs landed on him. Sanji was a welcome and warm weight, almost like a cat that was actually being friendly for once, and Zoro wasn't about to let things end any time soon. Zoro didn't even mind the stink of cigarette smoke as Sanji nonchalantly took another drag so close to his face, just tightened his hold possessively as he turned all his frustration onto Chopper.
"What the fu- . . ." Zoro started, determined to get an explanation for things and make it very clear who was going to sleep with whom.
"Sanji! I specifically told you not to smoke or drink for the rest of the day. That was powerful medication!" Chopper shrieked, completely ignoring Zoro. He blinked at the doctor, all his bravado sizzling down at the cold reaction. Usually the reindeer was so polite and high-strung, but right now he looked rather serious and concerned. As the little shit should be, after messing around with Sanji and then finding the blonde literally all over him. Zoro decided to smile victoriously instead, quite certain that Sanji had simply tested new waters- and had come crawling back on his knees to Zoro.
"I'm fine, okay? You don't need to worry any more, you did a great job," Sanji sighed, waving a hand as he casually complimented Chopper. Well, that easily blew his theory to hell, neither of the culprits even noticing Zoro's internal struggle. There were so many mixed messages going on right now that he was beginning to feel like he was losing his mind.
"But, if you do something like . . . like that again," Chopper stammered, his big, brown eyes watering up with tears. It took a harder man than Zoro to remain unmoved at the sight of the little stuffed animal; but the pain of seeing the reindeer and his temperamental cook together was still too fresh for Zoro to ignore. Sanji grumbled as if to make up for the both of them, a few curse words uttered out from underneath his breath, but Zoro definitely caught 'not that bad' and 'didn't last long.'
"I swear I'm gonna kill the both of you if you keep talking about it!" Zoro yelled aloud, quite pissed that they dared to be so open about what had happened. He couldn't stand the sight of Sanji starting to blush, even though he had both arms around the cook's skinny waist. Despite tightening his grip possessively, hard enough to bruise, he couldn't be closer to Sanji and yet was so far away. Zoro had been completely disregarded, ignored and tossed aside while Chopper and Sanji did things together that a reindeer and human shouldn't. Hadn't the shitty cook been so worried about Zoro only wanting a quick fuck before moving along? Zoro had been so desperate to prove that he was serious- only to have the whole thing flipped around on him as Sanji cheated on him.
"What! You're the one responsible for it all in the first place!" Chopper yelled aloud, stomping his hooves on the floor in outrage. Zoro just stared down at the creature, not sure what the problem was in the first place. Whenever he thought that he had figured it out, everything got reversed. Sanji stiffened in shock, mouth open wide to fire back something smart.
"Y- You're cruel and selfish! Sanji was bleeding down there, and now you want to make it happen again! Just try to mess up my patient!" the reindeer bellowed out, despite not even standing taller than the table they were fighting around. Zoro's jaw dropped so hard it hurt, left staring at the ferocity in those words. He had hurt Sanji that badly? Zoro couldn't imagine that he had been that rough, or that Sanji was that fragile. Even so, Chopper was glaring up at him with enough anger to make a lesser man jump overboard just to escape; while Sanji turned his face into Zoro's neck in a fit of embarrassment.
"Thanks a whole fucking lot, Doctor. Next time, just give him a full, written report," Sanji grumbled out, his face hidden, but the tone enough to make Chopper step back. Zoro couldn't figure out why Sanji would have tried to hide something so tremendous. He usually complained as loudly as possible about the most trivial of matters. If Zoro had truly made Sanji bleed from his anus, he certainly would have heard about it before now. Even so, the accusations flying about were enough to make his head spin, pretty sure that it all ended up with him being the bad guy.
"I'm . . . sorry?" Zoro hesitantly tossed the apology out there, not sure if it was the right thing to do or not. It felt like it was necessary at the time, consciously loosening his hold around Sanji's stomach. Chopper just blinked up at him like the good doctor hadn't even noticed that Zoro was a separate being from the chair he was on. Sanji just moaned aloud, digging into the pocket on his apron for a fresh cigarette and matches. He popped the wrapped tobacco into his mouth, leaning around Zoro's shoulders so he could use both hands to strike the match.
"We're not talking about this any more. There's nothing to apologize about- . . ."
A brown streak leapt up so quickly that Sanji and Zoro both didn't have time to react, stealing away the cigarette before the cook even had a chance to light up."You're not going to smoke or drink anything more today!" Chopper ordered out firmly in a voice that was no less frightening for the small creature it was coming from. Sanji jaw dropped hard, his hand opening and closing around the cigarette that wasn't there any more. The blonde was too shocked at the audacity to do anything for a moment, like the calm gathering before the storm.
"Damn it, Chopper, I feel fine. I can do as I please," Sanji spat it out so hard Zoro thought he might have to put a hand over the cook's dirty little mouth. No matter what the argument, no matter how jealous and angry Zoro was with Chopper right now, it still was plain cruel to yell at the reindeer. He was easily startled and ended up getting his feelings hurt more often then not, just a simple forest animal that had ended up on a pirate ship. Nami had yelled his ears off countless times before because he had somehow managed to make Chopper cry again. Zoro wasn't sure exact what he was doing wrong, and didn't care to change whatever little flaw it might be in his personality for anyone. He had, however, got the common sense necessary for dealing with Chopper beaten into his head by their navigator.
"I-If you want to act that way, then . . . then don't come to me for help again!" the reindeer shot out, obviously upset with his disobedient patient. The only problem with his argument was that they all knew Chopper wouldn't deny medical treatment to anyone that needed it. Sanji just twisted his head away like some kind of goddamn royalty, glaring up into the sky at nothing in particular. His fingers were twitching on Zoro's shoulders, playing around with the matches in a poor attempt to hide his irritation. Zoro was wise enough to just stay silent at this point and let these two fight as much as they wanted too. At least Sanji was still in his lap while whatever had happened between the doctor and him began crumbling.
Zoro didn't like it when he got so worked up, not able to rein in his own temper at times. He was just so used to drawing his sword and killing men for the slightest insult. That had all changed when Luffy became his captain, a naïve simpleton that couldn't even be trusted to walk in a straight line. It didn't help that Zoro lacked a sense of direction as well, the two of them wandering around with one common goal: to become the best in world. Whether as a swordsman or a Pirate King, if they succeeded or died trying. It was that sort of clear-cut logic that Zoro was attracted too, because it was easy enough to understand. It had been a little of a surprise to have Luffy stop him the first time Zoro had tried to kill some punk in a restaurant for interrupting their meal. It had been all right to beat the would-be bounty hunter into unconsciousness, but Luffy didn't want to kill anyone unless absolutely necessary. The idiot captain could back that resolve up, stronger than most men could even imagine. Luffy had managed to change Zoro, break down his defense without seeming to try at all; bringing him back to something that was human, a person that actually felt emotions instead of a numb zombie that only reacted when a weapon was pointed at him.
There was a tug on Zoro's waistband, a small hoof asking for his attention.
"You have to promise me you'll keep an eye on Sanji . . ." Chopper whispered softly just for Zoro, Sanji too busy cursing under his breath to listen to them. " . . . And you'll be careful not to do anything bad to him!" the last part was hissed out with more force than one would expect from such a small creature. Zoro was left with his mouth hanging open, leaning to the side with nothing to say to the doctor.
Chopper was already prancing off again before Zoro could think so something to say, left hanging onto Sanji in an awkward, intimate way. He didn't understand just what was so 'bad' about all of this, or how everything could have possibly been entirely his fault. Sanji had been a little freaked out, granted, but he hadn't once told Zoro to stop. He already knew from experience that Sanji wouldn't have just stayed quiet if Zoro had really hurt him . . . but the cook had been avoiding him like the live creatures Luffy had dragged up on deck from his earlier fishing. That was a simple enough way to avoid any sort of interaction at all, and Zoro couldn't say he appreciated the gesture.
"All right, just what is this all about?" Zoro demanded when Chopper's presence was truly gone, the fog covering the rest of the ship as if they were the only two left on board. There was no wind in the sails; the sound of waves slapping against the ship barely enough to cause distraction from the uncomfortable silence.
"Nothing," Sanji dismissed it all bitterly with a wave of his hand. "You know how Chopper overreacts."
The shitty cook seemed quite content to write it all off as a bad joke, something to be quickly forgotten. Zoro couldn't accept that answer so easily though, not when he had been made out into some horrible villain- and by Chopper, of all people and animals alike! That timid little reindeer couldn't hold a grudge if his life depended on it, which only increased Zoro's feeling of guilt. It was just made worse by the fact that Zoro didn't even know just what the hell he had been accused of!
"He overreacts, but he doesn't threaten. You're going to tell me," Zoro demanded. He vaguely remembered that he was the one who had been cheated on, that had been ignored and brushed aside like some nosy idiot that didn't know his place. He just didn't get why Sanji and Chopper seemed to have the right to harass him to no ends, even though anyone else would agree that Zoro had done nothing wrong. He'd been the one first betrayed here when Sanji had let Chopper play around with his ass barely a day after Zoro had.
"Whatever. It's none of your fucking concern," Sanji spat back, digging into his apron for yet another cigarette. Sanji had no idea how lucky he was to have that pretty face and delicate fingers, otherwise Zoro would have knocked the shithead straight overboard. How could it not be his concern, when everyone was accusing him of doing . . . something that he didn't even know he had done? Zoro didn't know what to do beyond physical violence as Sanji readied himself another stick of tobacco.
"Chopper said not to smoke any more," Zoro finally snapped out, looking for anything to fight over. He copied Chopper's early move, reaching out for the cancer stick before Sanji could make use of it.
"So! I need it right now," Sanji growled out, dodging Zoro's hand while struggling to light a match at the same time. He caught Sanji on the second try, grabbing one wrist so hard that the cook immediately dropped the cigarette. Sanji was no longer resting pleasantly on top of his lap, but struggling to get up with one clawed, free hand and both legs. Zoro had a hard enough time just avoiding the blows and keeping a hold on the shitty cook.
A loose, wide kick hit underneath the table, flipping it over and tossing the fine meal onto the deck in a crash of silverware and broken dishes. Sanji may be deceptively thin, but he had a ridiculously powerful fighting technique. Even mis-aimed, the kick was strong enough to unbalance the chair and sent Sanji tumbling down to the deck with Zoro not far behind. He landed on his shoulder and was rolling up onto his legs without a second thought, naturally adapting into a fighting stance.
Sanji didn't do the same, crying out sharply when his backside hit hard wood. The blonde started hissing out a train of muted and obviously pained curses, curling up protectively around an injury Zoro couldn't see. That sort of reaction made Zoro freeze up, eventually reach out with his hand to check if Sanji was okay. He didn't even touch the cook before the blonde flinched away hard, his voice losing coherency and turning into weak pants. Sanji's good eye was dilated and panicked, not even focusing on what was around him, just shuddering like an animal that had been beaten too hard. One and one slowly came together while Zoro stared down at the blonde, shaking hard from something that went beyond mere bodily pain.
"Someone hurt you before?" Zoro asked stupidly, breaking the awful silence between them. Sanji hissed at the unexpected questioned, not loosening his guard in the slightest as gave one weak nod underneath the fold of crossed arms and tousled hair.
"Someone . . . raped you?" He didn't like the word, but Zoro couldn't think of anything else. That faintly sick feeling in his gut only intensified when Sanji nodded again, accompanied by a definite hitch in his breath. Zoro had hit the problem dead on; taking into account all the times Sanji avoided personal contact despite being an incurable flirt. How he had begged Zoro to stay afterward, just to be sure it wasn't some shameful mistaken between the both of them.
"Did I hurt you?" Zoro had to ask. He was the one responsible for this all, just like Chopper had said. Zoro had never thought that there was all this past history and misery inside Sanji, not when the blonde had seemed so experienced with it all. He had told Zoro he wasn't a virgin as if it was some sort of dare to be better than lovers past. Zoro had never once imagined if Sanji's previous sexual encounters had not been of his own choice- someone had managed to force themselves on him. Zoro wanted to kill the person that had come before him, that had fucked Sanji up so badly . . . except he was the closest and most recent encounter. He'd been the last one to make Sanji feel that sort of pain. Zoro suddenly couldn't even understand how Sanji could even be talking about this, not when he was so disgusted with himself. Zoro usually had so much better control than this.
"Not bad. It was only until after that I . . . had problems and I had to go to Chopper," Sanji explained, obviously uncomfortable with the whole matter but recovering from his initial fall to the floor. At least Sanji had stopped shaking . . . as much, still unable to look Zoro in the face. He found his fists buried in the front of Sanji's apron, physically hauling the cook up so he could yell straight into the blonde's face.
"'Problems?' 'After?' Why didn't you say anything during it! I made you bleed, for crying out loud!" Zoro cried out, quoting Chopper's earlier outbursts. If anyone else on the ship hadn't known what was going on, they were sure to now after Zoro had finished screaming. It was the only thing that was keeping him from actually slapping Sanji or himself, so damn ashamed and guilty that Zoro didn't know why neither of them hit the other.
"How the hell else is it supposed to go? When do you not bleed while fucking?" Sanji roared right back, butting his forehead up against Zoro's own. The blow didn't pain Zoro nearly as much as the simple obliviousness in that statement. What was there to argue with there? How could Sanji have been so thoroughly abused that he thought it was the norm? How could he be such a hopeless romantic when the shitty cook had been panicking because of an intimate embrace? Zoro hated Sanji in that instant, for always being so secretive, determined to play it cool, and only getting hurt deeper for it all.
It wasn't fair that he could look so damn cute at the same time.
"Let me show you," Zoro insisted, sliding down to kiss Sanji across open lips. If there was any further argument, it turned into tongue play as Zoro grabbed the back of Sanji's head and held him there. It wasn't about being forceful, but just keeping Sanji there as he tried to start things all over again. The fog made as good of cover as any, the deck worn down smooth and kept lovingly clean by Usopp. Zoro had had sex in much worse places with less than trustworthy partners, usually caught in between hunting down bounties. Zoro certainly hadn't met someone he cared enough about to actually spend the time on like with Sanji. The knowledge that someone had been there before that had messed Sanji up so badly, that Zoro had only perpetuated that violence, made him all the more determined to show Sanji how things should be done.
It would be a matter of restraint, of holding back the aggressive strength he had worked his entire life to develop. Zoro had to be conscious of just how much pressure he was using- that he absolutely would not bruise Sanji this time. He wouldn't let the blonde run away either, sucking hard on the blonde's lower lip.
It took tricky maneuvering to get Sanji to lie down on his back again without falling on top of the shitty cook. He ended up settling between Sanji's legs, resting all of his weight on his knees as they ground into the deck uncomfortably. Zoro ignored it in favor of making sure not to hover over Sanji too much. He couldn't afford making the blonde feel restrained right now, sure that the guy was ready to run at the slightest mishandling. Sanji was shaking like it; muscles wound up so taunt that they were going to break.
"Don't be scar-. . ." Zoro murmured against Sanji's hair, not wanting this to start off on the wrong foot, again.
"Oh, will you fucking give it a break? I'm not as weak as you like to think!" Sanji yelled out, interrupting the nice, polite gesture Zoro had been trying to make. His eyes didn't even register the palm heading at his face; his body instinctively reacting to catch Sanji by the wrist before the blonde could manage to slap him. He couldn't move after that, fist wrapped around Sanji's arm with the cook glaring up at him, all the more frightening for his sudden silence.
Zoro look over to the open hand in his grip, knowing damn well how soft and smooth they were, that Sanji always kept them clean with fingernails trimmed down neatly instead of the ragged edges Zoro would chew off when they got too long. Sanji's glare turned to outright shock when Zoro hauled that white hand up to his mouth, wanting the personal contact more than anything else. It didn't seem like words were getting him very far anyway, deciding he preferred the sex over the fighting.
Sanji couldn't even move as Zoro nuzzled his hand like a stray dog, sniffing it once as any animal would do before licking a sloppy trail across his palm, then physically shoving his face into Sanji's hand to force him to pet. The man could be so obliviously cold and then overwhelmingly affectionate the next, not even allowing Sanji a moment to catch up with what was going on.
He had just come out here with the intent to set everything straight between them; maybe even apologize. After drowning himself in several glasses of that cheap ale they kept on hand for Zoro and Nami, Sanji found his mood turning rather charitable. A few embarrassing minutes alone in the bathroom and a couple cigarettes later, Sanji felt like dancing and singing aloud. The relief of finally having his body back to normal was predictably short-lived when the alcohol finally hit, making him vaguely remember Chopper saying something about strong medication.
Sanji should have known better than to just ride with the slight nausea and head rush, should have just gone to bed for the rest of his life instead. But, he had been caught up in thinking about how horrified and shocked Chopper had been at the damage Zoro had accidentally caused . . . and how the idiot had stayed afterward, had even hunted him down and kept him from trying to freeze himself on deck last night. He knew in his heart of hearts that Zoro wouldn't have intentionally tried to hurt him- in that kind of situation, since they regularly ended up in brawls that would leave lesser man with broken bones. Zoro had been sincere and deserved better than the outright avoiding and ignoring that Sanji had been so desperately performing. All of a sudden there was time to think, alone in his kitchen where Zoro had started this whole mess . . . and eventually came to the conclusion that he didn't hate the swordsman as much as he thought he did.
Or, maybe it was the alcohol talking.
Either way, Sanji wasn't going to solve anything sitting by himself and smoking another cigarette that he shouldn't have had. He was going to have to speak to Zoro again one of these days, so it might as well be sooner rather than look like even more of an ass for acting so morose any longer. The only problem was coming up with some excuse to talk, not as comfortable as he had once been with the swordsman. Sanji found himself out of any witty comments or smart ideas, leaving cooking as his only means once again. Sanji figured that food would be as good of conversation starter as any, since it might even get Zoro to shut up for a while if he was busy chewing. Then, Sanji would have a chance to explain himself and terrible awkwardness that was growing between them.
He certainly hadn't expected that plan to explode in his face quite so spectacularly, both of them ending up falling to the deck with Zoro on top. The sudden impact and aggressive intrusion of his personal space sent Sanji spiraling off into memories he would much rather forget. It was hard to concentrate on reality when his past was trying to swallow him whole . . . and then Zoro had begun making out with his palm.
It was a strange gesture, lips ticklish on Sanji's hand, so bizarre that it made him forget to be scared. He wasn't sure if he should be confused or terrified, remembering how Zoro had complimented him before about his hands. Sanji should have been able to fire off some hot comment about how stupid Zoro was for thinking someone might actually be turned on by this. He should have been able to push Zoro away and laugh in the man's face. A hundred thousand other options, and Sanji ended up moaning as the willpower left his arm. He wouldn't move ever again until Zoro wanted him to- completely blanking on the fact that he should hate the man's guts as Zoro began to work at the knot on his apron. That turned into the loosening of his belt and his fly being pulled open before Sanji had the sense of mind to protest, realizing that once again he was being stripped down while Zoro kept his own pants on.
The swordsman was just too damn good at reading body language, able to pick up on the slightest change of muscles. Zoro was already kissing him before Sanji could complain, fingers threading through his hair in a way that was totally unfamiliar. It felt more like Zoro was worshipping every inch of him; petting, licking, and sniffing at each limb and joint. He was setting off some sort of electric shock underneath Sanji's skin, interrupting coherent thought before it could even begin. How such an absentminded brute had gotten so good at kissing, Sanji couldn't possibly imagine.
Despite it all, Sanji found himself surrendering without much of a fight, mouth opening up to let Zoro's tongue in. Zoro didn't have to say anything, just somehow convinced Sanji's body that everything would be alright even though his head was still running around in panicked circles. He still had a hollow ache emanating from his bowels and painful muscle twinges leftover from the last time Zoro had gotten affectionate. The swordsman really couldn't hold back his strength one bit- though Sanji finally noticed Zoro's arms were trembling from effort. He was holding himself incredibly still over Sanji, making sure that the only thing touching were their lips. He was aware of Sanji's paranoia and compensating for it, somehow making it all the more erotic.
It just wasn't fair that Zoro was so damn good at this.
The difference in their lives was staggering. Zoro was able to be patient and take his time, so much more mature when it came to adult relationships. For all the flirting and dirty talk Sanji could make, actual sex was still something to be feared and avoided. At least with women, there were no threatening appendages that could be thrust into his body. Sanji would always be able to overpower them, though he remained strictly gentlemanly with all the courtesy and respect that had never been allowed him.
Zoro, however, had already proved that he could wrestle Sanji down to the ground twice. As much as it galled him to admit it, the muscle-brained swordsman was physically stronger than him. He simply practiced more, always lifting weights or training with his swords . . . which didn't explain why Zoro could make his hands be so soft as well, the apron loose and his shirt already untucked as Zoro caressed his stomach. Sanji didn't know if he should complain about the intimate touching or the bruising force Zoro was applying to his mouth, ending up unable say anything at all. Zoro's fingers were already slipping down past his belt and inside his underwear without any hesitation, encircling his dick and squeezing hard enough to make Sanji's head snap back in a sudden surge of white-hot sensation.
Now that the kiss had finally ended, Sanji could pant out a weak plead to stop . . . which Zoro ignored, of course. For all his talk, Zoro was still acting like every other 'lover' he had before. He shouldn't have expected any different, his apron and shirt stripped away at last even though Sanji did his best to keep them. Zoro hugged him afterward, petting Sanji's head and making a hushing noise in his ear. Sanji couldn't understand why Zoro would suddenly go back to being gentle and comforting; until he became aware of his own voice repeating 'no . . . no . . . no . . ."
Just because he was partially naked, he could be sent into such a panic. Sanji was usually able to control himself better, to hide these sort of emotional collapses to when he was sure that he was alone. Zoro, however, had recently stirred up memories that Sanji had spent his life trying to forget. He wanted to be stronger than this, but his body still remembered the trauma he'd suffered before. It instinctively wanted to get away, the urge so overwhelming that it made Sanji's heart jump up his throat. He couldn't keep himself from shaking, trembling in Zoro's arms while the swordsman continued to smooth his hair.
"It's just me. It's okay," Zoro swore in a soft voice before licking the curve of his ear. Sanji squirmed against the warm, wet thing swirling around; his gut clenching at the unfamiliar sensation. Zoro moved sunk, kissing the corner of his jaw before licking the side of his neck. Sanji grit his teeth, realizing now that Zoro wasn't going to stop unless Sanji fought so hard it turned into a life-or-death situation- and he just wasn't fucking up to struggling any more. He was weary, aching, and drugged up to the gills. He was in no shape to keep Zoro from doing what he wanted . . .
And, it certainly had nothing to do with the fact that Zoro kissing the indent of his collarbone felt slightly good. The sickening feeling in his stomach was slowly turning into a warm excitement, with Zoro beginning to thumb one nipple. Sanji would have thought that sort of thing would only feel good on girls, but whatever Zoro was doing to his chest was damn nice. Sanji chewed on his lower lip, determined not to open his mouth because he didn't know what would come out, either tears or wanton moaning. He forgot about being scared, about how he had been shaking so badly only moments ago; just grabbed on to the back of Zoro's head and held the swordsman close.
Sanji admitted to loving the feel of Zoro's short hair, rubbing his palm opposite the flow so the hairs would bristle against his fingers. Zoro grunted his approval while sucking hard on Sanji's nipple, encouraging him to continue. Sanji, however, was still too painfully inexperienced to do anything else. He wanted to be more than a semi-willing partner in this, but Zoro had taken complete control long ago. The man finished unfastening Sanji's belt and pants, pulling them over his knees in one smooth motion. Sanji got one more pert, reassuring kiss on the lips before Zoro ducked his head down into his exposed crotch; earrings chiming as they hit up against each other.
Zoro put his mouth over the tip of Sanji's penis. Immediately, he jerked back at contact on sensitive flesh, so hard that Zoro had to put both hands on Sanji's hips to keep him steady. Sanji hissed sharply through his teeth, forcing himself to stop freaking out while Zoro was being so intimate. The swordsman had already spent so much time working Sanji up to this point . . . to have it all end right now would be pure torture for the both of them. At least for him, with Zoro licking the length of his shaft from top to bottom.
Sanji was hopelessly erect now, breath coming faster as he arched up toward Zoro's skilled tongue and mouth. He didn't care about much of anything after that, lost in the moment and the jumbled mess Zoro was making of his nerves. Sanji couldn't care less about everything Zoro had done lately, from pounding his insides hard enough to bleed to bringing back the memories of childhood trauma . . . while their relationship still had much to be defined, it was enough for Zoro to fondle his balls without any hesitation. He kept one hand on Sanji's side; able to sense that Sanji would jerk against all and any unexpected contact uncontrollably. Being completely motionless was quickly a necessity as Zoro opened his mouth wide, swallowing Sanji's dick whole.
He cried out at that, knees jerking against Zoro's sides as he did his best not to choke the swordsman. It would be his own damn fault, for doing something so disgusting and shameless. Sanji was sure that Zoro didn't usually put his lips to other men's cocks, having far too much pride for the mere idea to even be a bad joke. But, here they were with Sanji hitting the back of Zoro's throat . . . the man humming slightly before sucking hard enough for Sanji to see fuzzy, gray stars. He grabbed at Zoro's shoulders, needing that warm contact while the man's head bobbed up and down over his groin. He had to hold on to something before he exploded, the careful composition of his personality about to break apart. Sanji heard his own heartbeat pounding in his ears, the helpless moans Zoro evoked each time he varied the pressure of his wet, velvety mouth, earrings chiming like bells underneath it all.
Sanji ejaculated so hard it brought tears to his eyes, head slamming against the deck as his spine curved out to its limit. Zoro gagged reflexively, snapping his head away while sperm flew out it seemingly endless streams of white . . . Sanji had never had such a powerful climax before, left twitching on the deck like an animal on it's death throws. He had long since lost the willpower to move his limbs of his own according, watching Zoro in dreadful apprehension now that it was all over.
The swordsman didn't say anything at first, cum still splattered on the side of his cheek and dripping out from the corners of his lips. Sanji was suddenly filled with shame; sure that he had done something wrong as Zoro spat wide over the railing. The swordsman wiped at his face with the back of his arm, managing to clean up rather quickly while Sanji lay there, stupid and numb. He didn't know about the etiquette that followed this sort of scenario; a small, weak part of him waiting for Zoro to walk away and leave him alone. That would hurt even worse than this horrible silence that followed Sanji's cries of pleasure.
"Is . . . is that it? You didn't . . . um- . . ." Sanji trailed off, realizing he didn't really know what to call that powerful crescendo of thrilling sensation. Hadn't ever had a need to, beyond the few times he spent jerking off alone when the relief became a necessity. It wasn't like Nami or Robin had returned a single affectionate gesture, while Sanji was still sticky-wet in some places from Zoro's kisses, tongue, and his own fluids leaking down his thighs and to the deck. He should have tried pulling his pants up or at least crossing his legs, but Sanji couldn't do anything but look up at Zoro in baited apprehension.
"Chopper said you were hurt inside, right? I don't have to outright fuck you every time," Zoro explained crudely, a smirk playing across his face. Sanji say anything back to that, his jaw hanging open in shock as he digested Zoro's words. He felt the lingering heat in his groin rush straight up to his cheeks, blushing so hard that his ears began to burn. What possible sort of pleasure could Zoro derive from Sanji shooting a load into his face, watching as Sanji squirmed and cried like a virgin girl on her wedding night? He felt sick and dizzy, even worse than when he had first come out here. Sanji managed to sit up a bit, looking around for his shirt and the cigarettes that should be in the front pocket- . . . .
He didn't even notice until Zoro thudded down beside him, settling himself against Sanji's side without another word. He had to pause at that, come face to face with Zoro's well-defined abdomen and chest. The huge, puckered scar that ran across the front of his torso only made Zoro seem bigger, despite being significantly shorter when they were sitting down. There was quite a collection of older wounds that Zoro had never cared to share the origin of- but there was a reason why people had called him the Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro. Even so, right now, Zoro was just an overly affectionate jerk that didn't know half of the damage he caused; or how spectacular he could make Sanji feel.
"What, now you're smiling? I knew you liked it," Zoro teased, able to be a complete ass in so few words. Sanji glared at the man who took his partial blindness into account and worked around it without pitying him, who had the patience to let Sanji run away and recover before trying again; wasn't out to completely humiliate and dominate him. Whatever his intentions were, Zoro was already being honest and up front, not the type of person smart enough to have some ulterior goal. He just wanted to screw regularly, which was better than anything Sanji had before.
"You fucking idiot," he growled out, elbowing Zoro in the side. The swordsman grunted at the impact, leaning harder into Sanji for it. He didn't know why he felt so much more comfortable around Zoro now, that awkward friction between them disappearing without a trace. Sanji let his head rest on Zoro's shoulder, the adrenaline finally wearing off into a bone-deep exhaustion. He didn't mind that Zoro was covered in a layer of dry sweat and stinking like hell. There was something subtler than that, like the faintly sweet, chemical scent Zoro used on his blades to keep the leather hilts soft and the blades sharp. Those swords were probably the only things Zoro ever taken proper care of in his life . . . though he was obviously trying with Sanji. He couldn't resist that earnest and clumsy affection, closing his eyes as he soaked up Zoro's warmth through their bare skin. He could stay here for just as long as they had stood together out on deck last night, enjoying Zoro's silent company; whether the swordsman was sleeping through the quiet parts or not.
Thinking of the man, he felt Zoro stiffen up beside him, jolting Sanji out of the nice little spot he had made. Sanji was already starting on a curse and then choking as he noticed that the heat hadn't just been coming from Zoro's body but the sun finally burning off the fog. There wasn't any smoky cover now, nothing but the blue sky and empty deck . . .
. . . almost empty, noticing a figure perched on the edge of the railing.
Luffy was watching them with his usual unblinking, blank gaze, chewing on the end of a fish bone from the meal that had fallen to the floor earlier. Zoro and Sanji were both frozen as they realized their positions; their captain not even breaking his stare as a rubber arm stretched out to snatch the dirty cut of steak from the deck. The only sound was Luffy chewing loudly and the rhythmic beat of the waves against the hull of the ship. Sanji looked down in discomfort, eyes widening as the fact that he was still mostly naked was thrown in his face.
Sanji yelped out a curse before grabbing Zoro by the arm and hiding behind his broad back. He made Zoro a physical divider as he scrambled for the pants twisted around his ankles; hands shaking so badly that he could barely get his belt on. He looked about for his shirt and spotted it hanging off the stairs down to the main deck. Of fucking course Zoro would have to toss it as far possible.
"How long have you been watching?" Zoro demanded, not a hint of modesty in his voice. Why would Zoro have to feel embarrassed, when Sanji was the only one who had gotten off? Sanji just concentrated on making himself smaller at the moment, muscles contracting down as tightly as possible.
"A while. It seemed like fun," Luffy answered back around gnawing on his stolen meal. At least Sanji wouldn't have to worry about what to do with the wasted food after it had been on the floor, but he should have known that Luffy wouldn't care. He had already sat through them kissing, stripping down, and screaming aloud with pleasure. Sanji felt a blush coming back in full as he recalled he'd been the only one making so much noise.
"'Fun?'" Zoro echoed back as if he hadn't ever heard the word before. Sanji felt the man's shoulders shake before the sound of Zoro chuckling slightly carried to Sanji's ears. Luffy and him alike stared at Zoro as if the man had gone crazy, while his laughter only grew . . . and eventually Sanji started laughing along with him without even really knowing why.
AUTHOR'S NOTES
What's a pirate's favorite kind of sock?
'ARRRRRRRgyle.'
RANT: Jesus Christ fucking Madonna on a motor bike, why does everyone take their One Piece so serious? It's a damn comedy in the end, THIS is a fan fiction, and further more . . .
NOBODY IS PAYING ME TO WRITE THIS!
So, to the people who are getting hung up on one centimeter of a difference in height, I don't give a damn about the metric system. I'm American. As for the ACTUAL birthdays and other such OFFICIAL One Piece 'facts' . . .
It's called fan fiction for a reason. I like it this way. Give me money and I will go back and reread my work. Until then it's on my beta-ers' heads, and they do an unbelievable, fucking, amazing, unselfish favor by reading through my stuff. Stop blaming them and address me in an email if it bothers you so much. I'm writing just to have fun. It's even better when other people like it and make mention of why they liked it.
That's the only reward I get, so stop ruining it for me, you homophobic, PG-13, whiny little anal asses.
Everyone else who was chill with the story, I'm sorry you had to read this little bit at the end.
Suki, suki, five dolla, me love you looong time.
You encourage this fic able to stagger on in its debilitated, disabled, democratic gait.
Just like public television, gay smut is made possible by reviewers like you.
Love, the gher.