Dedication: To Kiyana Va Sala whose inspiring emails helped me get over the block and just plop out the chapter--read his stories people! To Whimsy, without whom I would be floundering. Your emails are always interesting, helpful, and thought-provoking.
"What do you mean 'You messed up,' Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi asked. She was confused and her daughter wasn't making any sense.
"InuYasha and I, well, we might not be together any more," she finally got out, after several moments of tense silence.
To say her mother was shocked was an understatement. Mrs. Higurashi was absolutely dumbfounded. She had watched Kagome and InuYasha dance around their feelings for years, so she was elated when they finally confessed and decided to get married. Although Kagome would have to forgo college – as she would be living in the Feudal Age –her mother wasn't upset. All Mrs. Higurashi wanted for her children was happiness, and InuYasha made Kagome very happy. She knew she couldn't deny them the happiness that she herself shared with her husband, and was grateful that Kagome found someone who completely loved her. Hearing that there were problems in the relationship was difficult, to say the least, but they absolutely heartbroken look on Kagome's face when she told her mother that the bonding might be off was devastating.
"Oh honey, I'm sure it'll all work out, whatever it is. So, since you said that you're the cause of the mess, mind telling me what happened?" her mother asked. Sure, she was sympathetic to Kagome's plight, but she also knew that talking about it might help put things in perspective.
Kagome didn't want to tell her mother what happened because she was ashamed. She had thought long and hard about her behavior after her confrontation with InuYasha at the pond, and she had realized that not only were her actions harmful, but also shameful. She had purposefully manipulated her intended lover just to make him jealous over someone who would never be more than a friend to her. She had hurt him—both physically and mentally—for a stupid, childish prank. It was unforgivable in her eyes, and she was thankful that she had these Trials to prove to herself and InuYasha that she was ready to become his mate for eternity.
Mrs. Higurashi intently watched her daughter's face. From the various emotions passing there—shame, regret, longing—she knew that whatever happened between the two had to have been more serious than she thought. She watched as Kagome took a deep breath and started her tale...
Kagura was no fool. She knew that she was trying Sesshomaru's patience by refusing his advances, but she would not be broken. She knew the reason behind his sudden desire to become mated: he was afraid InuYasha would produce an heir first, thus putting his claim to the Western Lands in jeopardy. Sesshomaru had inherited the lordship because he was the oldest child, but his son would only retain the title if it were born before any of InuYasha's sons. While InuYasha's mating future was currently undecided, Sesshomaru was still afraid that they would reconcile and produce a son before he could, hence his increasing advances and impatience.
He forgot one important fact: Kagura. She had already been used as a pawn for one demon "lord" and she would be damned if she'd let another one control her. Her freedom is the single most important part of her life, and she wasn't going to give it up, not even to the man that had saved her from that monster. If he wanted her to be his, then he was going to have to act like it. She demanded respect, and he was going to give it, or else find another puppet to bear his heir.
InuYasha sat at the koi pond, staring at his reflection. 'Is this to be my fate?' he thought to himself, 'Always loving someone who can't love me for me? Destined to be alone, haunted by my dreams and desires for the future? A freak, a monster that doesn't fit anywhere?'
These and other depressing thoughts swirled in his head until he fell asleep, physically and emotionally exhausted. As InuYasha slept, he dreamed about something he had long since buried.
His mother was the most beautiful woman in the world, of that he was certain. Even though he was only six, he knew that there was no one prettier than she. The way she smiled at him when he did something cute, her long ebony hair, and her intense violet eyes. She was the picture of beauty, even when she was scolding her unruly son about getting his clothing dirty or finishing his lessons. When no one else would play with him, his mother would. Izayoi was an excellent mother, and to her six year-old son, she was the world.
One beautiful summer day, she had forbidden her son from playing outside. The little boy didn't understand why his mother wouldn't let him out, but he didn't want to make her mad (as he had just gotten off punishment), so he stayed inside and worked on his writings. All day he had a feeling that something was wrong, but whenever he asked his mother, she downplayed his suspicions by regaling him with tales of his father.
InuYasha loved hearing stories about the noble demon that was his father because he had no memory of them. It also didn't hurt that his mother told the best stories. His father was so brave and strong, and the young half-demon wanted to be just like him when he grew up. In fact, one night at dinner he told his mother that he was going to grow up big and strong so he could protect her from all the bad things in the world. Seeing an opportunity, Izayoi told the boy that the only way he could be so strong was to eat his vegetables. InuYasha took one look at his plate and dove into the food with renewed gusto.
That fateful day, Izayoi told her precious son about how his father defeated the dragon lord Ryuukotsusei and managed to save her in the same day. She left out the part about how that caused his death, instead telling her darling boy that his father was resting in the heavens so he could better watch over them. InuYasha, however, wasn't nearly as interested in the story as he usually was because he kept feeling something was wrong.
It was after dinner that his suspicions were proved accurate. He smelled the torches before he saw them, heard the humans' curses before they even got to the door. His mother rushed into his room, bundling him in his clothes and bustling him out the door. The raced along the corridor until they came to the study. There, behind a hidden door, they entered a secret room. In the room was a chute that lead down to the servant quarters. Izayoi gave her son one last kiss before she instructed him to slide down the chute, crawl out one of the lower windows and flee into the forest. She promised him she would find him there. He didn't want to leave her, but he could hear the yells getting louder and he was brave, so he did as his mother told him. He took one last look at her, then left. He never saw her again.
As InuYasha ran through the forest, he could hear the yells and screams of the townspeople as they attacked his home. Then, they became eerily quiet. He stopped running, even though his mother told him to flee as fast as he could, and listened as the mob cheered. He clumsily climbed a tree and saw that his house was on fire and his mother was no where in sight. InuYasha wanted to scream for his mother because he was terrified. At six years old, he had been run out of his house before it was set on fire and his mother was not with him. He was cold, hungry, dirty and lonely, but he couldn't say a word. He knew if he opened his mouth, the villagers would find him and hurt him. The poor boy stayed in that tree all night, and the following day, waiting for his mother. Two days after the fire, he returned home.
He sneaked into the ruined mansion, searching high and low for his mother. He finally found her body in the stairwell leading to the servant quarters. She wasn't burned, but he knew she was dead. In her arms, she clutched a miniature painting of his father.
'Mother!' he cried repeatedly. 'Mother, please don't leave me. Please, don't leave me. I love you mother. I'll be good, I promise, Mother. I'll do my lessons and I won't get dirty if you come back. I'll always be good, if you come back. Mother, please come back. Please. Please Mother, please come back. Don't leave me alone. Please, please, please! I'll be better, please. Please, mother, please! I'm sorry that I wasn't brave, Mother. I'm sorry. I'll be brave from now on, just wake up. I promise. I do anything Mother!'
But his pleas were to no avail. His mother was dead and he knew it, as he could smell death on her. He dried his tears and set about moving her body. His mother deserved to be buried—it's the least he could do since he wasn't brave enough to save her.
The poor boy drug his mother out of the house and into the forest. He didn't stop until he reached a clearing with a small lake. There he used his hands to dig a shallow grave for his beloved mother. He reverently placed her body in the hole, kissing her cheek one last time before he covered her with dirt. Then, he looked around for something to mark her grave so that he would always remember it. Nearby he found a large acorn that had fallen and rolled quite a way from the tree line. He picked it up and buried it at the head of his mother's grave. InuYasha cried the entire time. Once he was done, however, he dried his tears, washed his face, and promised never to shed another tear.
InuYasha never noticed Kirara hiding in the shadows. She watched him fall asleep and whimper. As the whines grew in intensity, Kirara walked over to InuYasha and rubbed herself against his back and stomach. The two-tail knew that he was having a nightmare, and she wanted to stop it. The half-demon hadn't gotten a decent rest in a long time, and she was determined that he get one tonight. Still, she couldn't help feeling sorry for InuYasha. She, who had seen the priestess Midoriko give her soul to create the Shikon jewel, had never before encountered such sadness. Kirara started to purr quietly, hoping to soothe the demons that tormented InuYasha's dreams. She would watch over the lonely orphan and his friends until she was no longer able to do so because she could understand his pain.
They were very much alike, Kirara and InuYasha. More than outward appearances made it seem. While Kirara didn't have a human form, InuYasha didn't have an animal one either. They both knew the pain of watching loved ones die. She was present when Midoriko gave up her soul to save everyone—demons and humans alike. He watched his mother die a little everyday as he endured the torments of the villagers, and he heard her screams as she perished in the fire. Tragedy and hope was all either had known, but fortunately for Kirara, she had much more hope than tragedy in her long life. Now, she wanted simply to comfort one who had seen more than his fair share of tragedy. If she could keep him safe, even for just a short while, she would do so. He deserved no less than that from her, as he would give no less than that of himself.
"I'm surprised at you, Kagome. I really am. What were you thinking?" Mrs. Higurashi demanded of her daughter. She was never one to get angry needlessly, but after hearing about what her little stunt had cost her and InuYasha, she was more than a little upset.
"I don't know, Mama. Honestly, if I could go back in time and change everything, I would. But I can't, and now I don't know if he'll ever forgive me," she broke down, sobbing to her mother.
"I'm disappointed in you, Kagome, but from what I know of InuYasha, he'll forgive you. In fact, he probably already has. He just can't trust you. Give him time, and I'm sure everything'll work out just fine," her mother told her as she pulled her into a hug. She would never deny her daughter the comfort of her arms, even if she was mad at her.
"Thanks Mama, I really needed to hear that," Kagome told her.
"Anytime, dear. Now, what are you doing at home?" Mrs. Higurashi asked. She was curious as to why her daughter was here instead of in the Warring States period trying to fix her broken relationship.
"Oh, I just needed to get away for a while, and InuYasha needs his space. Also, Sango and Miroku had never been to this time, so I thought it would be nice to take them out and show them around," she lied. She couldn't tell her mother the truth about the Trials as she was forbidden, but she hated lying to her.
"Well, I can certainly understand that, Kagome. Now it's late, why don't you get to bed and rest. Your school friends called—they want to see you. Maybe you should go out with them tomorrow to take your mind off things," her mother suggested, not knowing that it was the perfect opportunity for Kagome to complete her mission.
"Sure mom. Thanks for everything," Kagome replied, walking upstairs to her bedroom much happier than she had before.
The next morning, Kagome got up and called her friends. She had been in the Warring States Era for a long time and she wanted to catch up with them. She also wanted to get done with this first trial as soon as possible.
"Hey Eri, how are you? How's school going? That's good. Look, I was wondering if you, Yuka and Ayumi wanted to get together later on today? You do? Great, how about we meet at the mall at 3? See you then."
Now that she had set up the meeting, she laid back on her bed and sighed. Her life was so complicated. Her friends were all off at college while she was fighting for her life and her friends' lives in the past. She was engaged to InuYasha, and had a ceremony to plan, and now this Trial. If she didn't complete it, she wouldn't be with the man she loved. He felt betrayed, she felt guilty, and they were making everyone around them miserable. To top it off, Sango and Miroku got stuck being her bodyguards since she's too weak to do it on her own.
And then there's the uniform—the priestess outfit. She hated those clothes with a passion and that's why InuYasha chose them. It was as if he were reminding her that in his eyes, she was no better than Kikyo. Damn him, and damn Kouga for being so possessive. It wasn't her fault that she didn't know anything about the Warring States Era. She was from 500 years in the future, so how was she supposed to know these things?
Even as she thought about it, she knew whose fault the whole mess was—hers. She made her bed, and she was determined to lie in it. The only question was would InuYasha be lying next to her in it...
Sango and Miroku were excited to be in the future, even under the circumstances. They were enthralled with all the new gadgets and technology. It was simply fascinating, and a nice change to be somewhere that they didn't have to be constantly on guard. They were determined to make the most of the situation.
Coming downstairs, Kagome spied Sango and Miroku as they were fascinated with the television, and made a decision. She would help them along in their relationship, even if her own were dying.
Not wanting to bother her friends, Kagome went back to her room and eyed the priestess clothing with loathing. She was determined to prove him wrong, to show him that she was more than capable of completing these Trials.
'Wear these clothes the whole time you are at home, even at your school thing,' he said. Fine, if that is what he wanted, that's what she would do. But something was wrong with that statement—Kagome had already graduated and InuYasha knew this. Did he forget? Or was he talking about junior college? He couldn't know that she had signed up to take courses at the junior college because she hadn't told anyone about that, not even her mother. She didn't know what to think any more, but she knew that she was tired. Looking at her clock, she realized that she had more than enough time to take a nap. The minute her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.
Mrs. Higurashi wasn't stupid. She knew there was more to the story than Kagome was telling her, but she decided to leave the matter alone. It was obvious that whatever had transpired between InuYasha and Kagome after he healed had deeply wounded her daughter, but she had no doubts about their love. It wouldn't be love if there weren't bumps along the way, and this was yet another obstacle for them to overcome. Besides, they were destined to be together. She knew that the reason she accepted her husband's marriage proposal was because InuYasha's soul was calling to hers through the Goshinboku. She was the future mother of his mate, and his soul recognized her.
When her daughter was a baby and she was fussy, sitting under the Goshinboku was the only way to comfort her. As a child, she spent hours in and around the tree, drawing comfort from its strength. Even after her confrontations with InuYasha, Mrs. Higurashi could find her daughter seated under the Goshinboku, thinking. If they had conquered so much, surely this last test would not stop their love.
As she stared at her precious baby girl, Mrs. Higurashi couldn't stop the small smile that graced her lips. Her daughter had grown into such a wonderful woman, and this difficulty would only bring her closer to her beloved. Of that she was certain. This love transcended time, death and fate. Certainly it could overcome this small adversity.
Author's notes: I must apologize for this taking so long. This chapter has been half-written since I posted the last one. It just didn't come out right. Even now, I'm dissatisfied with it, but you've waited long enough. It was originally twice the length, but too much of it didn't flow, so it had to be taken apart and re-worked. The next chapter is almost done, so it shouldn't be that long between updates.
Drake Clawfang: Yes, it's still Kag/Inu. They'll be together in some way, shape or form at the end.
PKIS:Thanks for the congratulations. Part of the reason why this chapter is so late is because I had to transition to not being in school. I'm 24, and I've been going to school for the last 21 years (pre-school at 3) so it was really hard for me to adjust to my new lifestyle. Not quite there yet, but getting there.
hyperdude: Thanks for your review. That was part of my motivation for starting this story. I want to show that neither one of them is perfect (Kagome) or asinine (InuYasha). They both make mistakes, have moments of deep insight, and care for others. It's just a different presentation.
mikkey hodge/Peacemaker: Glad both of you like it.
Raven222: Once the Trial is set in motion, neither party can make a move regarding the relationship. They're at a stalemate until the conclusion of the Trial.
Elena: I seriously thought about your review. I realize that what Kagome is undergoing is difficult, but necessary. She knows very little about the time that will soon become her own, and she needs to know that she can survive anything thrown at her. InuYasha is a half-demon--people won't take kindly to their union. She also needs to experience some of what he underwent in order to understand him.
FrozenMiko: Oh yeah, I definitely feel sorry for both of them as well. There's so much that both could have done differently to change what happened, but they didn't, and now they both suffer. The angst is coming next chapter. All I can say is this: poor Kagome.
Murasahki-chan: Someone after my own heart. You'll get your Sess/Inu bonding in two chapters. Someone has to explain why InuYasha is suddenly recognized as Sesshomaru's brother. Caitriona695: There's a reason Love is first. Empathy comes later. She has to demonstrate her love by coming clean about it to her friends. It's about loving herself and InuYasha enough to tell her friends the truth and take whatever they have to say. Once she proves her love, then she will have to defend her and her love's honor. spoiled myself That should be interesting.
Paperkut-: Glad you like it. Don't know about the spanking, though :)
Dragonlance: Yes, my updating is atrocious. Thanks for the congrats, though. Don't know if she's going to "school" in the uniform, in the way you're thinking.