TITLE: One of THOSE Days
AUTHOR: Micky Fine
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, never will be.
SPOILERS: Anything before In The Room.
SUMMARY: A naked man, strip searches and collapsing at a briefing. Sounds like one of THOSE days. J/D
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry this has taken so long to get out, but now that I'm on break I should be able to churn out more chapters faster. I'd once again like to thank everyone who sent very lovely reviews; they are always appreciated (hint!). This is now most definitely an AU as I'm going to ignore the President's paralysis and the fact that Donna quit. If you want to see my reaction to that kink in Josh and Donna's relationship look for a fic I'm planning to write called "It's All Her Fault". Hope you enjoy this next chapter. Reviews welcome.
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One of my favorite times at the White House is very early, just before 6:00 a.m. Almost none of the lights are on and none of the usual bustle of people that is usually present until at least 11:00 at night are around. In all that silence this extraordinary building that has been the home to so many historic events and persons seems to breathe it's wisdom, and if you listen very carefully it is almost possible to hear its advice. Unfortunately, I won't be able to catch that advice this morning because I'm late.
Now, for most people arriving late at work means getting there after ten in the morning because they stayed up too late partying during the weekend. On the other hand, my boss' interpretation of my being late is arriving after 7:00 a.m. There are some down sides to this job.
It's ten to eight as I hurry up the drive to the employee gate. I have had the morning from Hades starting with feline Josh sitting on my chest, cutting off my air supply. Rolling over to face my alarm clock brought the shocking realization that I had overslept. I then discovered that all of my pants suits were at the dry cleaner's. Since the cast came off I have been avoiding wearing any skirt that will reveal the scars from where the bones punctured my skin, not to mention where they cut me open to insert the metal rod into my thigh. Once discovering a skirt long enough to cover my legs to the knee I then went in search of dark pantyhose to cover the pink mark in the middle of my shin. Of course, I didn't have any and I was forced to steal some from Carrie who was still sleeping (her boss being sane and requiring that she only be at work for 8:30 a.m.). While snitching the aforementioned pantyhose I had to avoid looking at Carrie's latest boyfriend who apparently likes to sleep in the nude and wasn't covered because Carrie is a blanket hog. After finally unearthing two pairs of black pantyhose (of course, you know I had to put a run in the first pair) I then went in search of my sensible work heels, which I couldn't find. I ended up having to wear a pair of black three-inch heels that I wore to a funeral before the accident.
Of course, after all of my wardrobe issues my car wouldn't start and I was forced to walk to work. Three-inch heels are not the most comfortable footwear for a fifteen-block walk. I am on the verge of hobbling by the time 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue comes into view. I finally manage to make it to the security booth and am dismayed to find two Secret Service Agents I don't know working. Usually I arrive just before the graveyard shift leaves so these two guys have no idea who I am either. As I place my purse on the conveyor belt for the x-ray machine I hear a familiar voice greet me.
"Good morning, Donna."
"Morning Charlie."
"Don't usually see you here this late."
"Ditto for you."
"Ah, the great advantage to switching titles means that I can arrive at a more human time."
"I wish."
Charlie chuckles good-naturedly as one of the agents motions for me to walk through the metal detector. Unsurprisingly it immediately starts bleeping.
"Ma'am, have you emptied your pockets?"
"Yes, Agent..."
"Panweigh."
"Nice to meet you."
"Likewise I'm sure, Ms..."
"Moss."
"Yes, well, Ms. Moss we're going to need to use the wand."
"Actually, Agent Panweigh before you start I should tell you..."
The agent ignores me and begins to wave the wand around my person and of course the thing goes off when it comes into proximity with my thigh.
"Ms. Moss, would you mind coming into the back please?"
"Agent Panweigh, I can explain. You see..."
"Please just come into the back."
I'm feeling frustrated and I would totally lose it at this guy if it weren't for the fact that I know he's a carrying a gun that he wouldn't hesitate to use.
"Umm, excuse me."
"Just hang on Mr. Young, we'll be right with you. We just need to do a strip search."
I can feel myself starting to blush and I'm really wishing I had a doctor's note at this moment.
"No, Joe, you need to hang on for just a minute. Do you know who this is?"
"She said her name was Ms. Moss."
The second agent now chimes in.
"Her name tag says she's Donna Moss."
"Yeah, I know her name, but do you know that this woman works for the Deputy Chief of Staff?"
"Josh Lyman?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Hey, wasn't there an article in that magazine you were reading yesterday Mike about that blonde assistant from the White House that was in... that...explosion in Gaza."
At this point Agent Panweigh is looking very abashed and I'm about ready to kiss Charlie and die of humiliation at the same time. While I'm grateful that I won't have to be removing any clothing in the near future I really hate having to flaunt whom I work for and what happened in Gaza to get things to happen. Josh, and now apparently Charlie, do not have this problem.
"I'm so sorry, Ms. Moss."
"It's fine. But do you think I could go through now? I'm pretty late as it is."
"Sure."
I give Agent Panweigh a reassuring smile, mouth a thank you to Charlie and start my final dash up the drive towards the other house that I spend most of my time in.
--------
I tiptoe into my cubicle and make a face when I realize that is already 8:30 a.m. Maybe I'll be lucky and Josh won't have noticed that I haven't been here for the past two hours.
"Donnatella Moss, where have you been?"
Should have known that today would involve no goodwill from the bestowers of luck.
"Seriously, Donna, I've been worried."
"Really? And let me guess the point of your concern: you had no one here who could tell you where the stuff you needed was? Or maybe you needed someone to answer the phone for you so you can avoid that very persistent, newly-widowed Congresswoman?"
"No, what I was really worried about was that I would have no one to not bring me coffee."
"Bite me."
"I'd really just like to nibble. Maybe starting with your earlobes and then work my way down..."
"Ok, buddy, let's go."
Placing my purse on my desk I then spin Josh around and push him into his office. As I walk I can feel a muscle cramp starting to seize my leg. I manage to make it to Josh's office and lean against the closed door with a sigh.
"Oooh, this is much more like it. A little privacy while I snack."
Josh starts to lean towards me but is stopped by my hand in the middle of his chest. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I begin my lecture but am distracted by the scent of his cologne.
"Lose your powers of speech, Donnatella?"
"No, Josh."
"Are you sure because it looked like you were about to give me a schpiel but were overpowered when your hand came into contact with my well sculpted physique."
I attempt to roll my eyes but Josh looks unconvinced so I break out his new least favorite phrase.
"It would be breaking The Rules, Josh."
Josh backs off but sends a dimpled grin my way when he asks his next question.
"What rule does nibbling fall under?"
"Josh..."
"I know, one rule at a time. Ok, ok. So, previous to your snarking at me I was expressing an honest sentiment when I said I was worried about you."
"Yeah, sorry. It just hasn't been a pleasant morning."
Josh nods in understanding as he rounds his desk. He's about to sit down when he realizes that I haven't moved from my position against the door.
"How about you sit down and tell me about it while you decipher the notes Margaret took during Senior Staff this morning?"
"You have no idea how much I'd like to sit down right now but if I were to attempt to move away from this door I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get too far."
Josh is instantly by my side and helps me to the visitor's chair.
"Is it bad?"
"Nah, they're getting more mild. I can actually speak when I'm having one now. It's just a major feat to remain standing."
Josh shakes his head and gets a serious look on his face. Before he can begin to speak I interrupt him.
"Josh, it's really fine. It's only because I had to walk to work this morning in these shoes."
"Did that rust bucket of yours refuse to start again?"
"Well, we are going through a bit of a cold snap and Thelma doesn't react well to sudden drops in temperature."
"Why do you insist on naming your car Thelma?"
"Because she's an independent woman."
"Right. You know, you could have phoned me and asked for a ride."
"I didn't think of it. After the morning I've had all I could think about was getting to work as soon as possible."
A rap on the door interrupts our conversation as Charlie pokes his head in.
"Just checking to make sure you got the rest of the way safely, Donna."
"Thanks Charlie. I'm fine."
"Good. And I made sure that all the other agents who work that booth will know who you are so you don't have the same problem again."
"That's sweet. Thank you again."
"No prob. See you later."
"Later Charlie."
Josh waits until Charlie leaves before he verbally pounces on me.
"What did he mean you wouldn't have the same problem again?"
I try to smile.
"Well, Josh, you're going to find this really amusing."
"I somehow don't think I am."
"Hmm. Anyway, because I was later than usual today there were different guards in the security booth that didn't know me. So, after I sent off both metal detectors they wanted to...um..."
"They wanted to STRIP SEARCH YOU?!?"
"Louder, Josh, I don't think Bali heard you."
"But Donna they wanted to..."
"They were just doing their job, Josh."
"You, Senior Assistant to the DCOS since the beginning of our first term. You, the woman who was in the explosion in Gaza. You, who had your face on the cover of People magazine last week!"
"Yes, Josh. After Charlie pointed out their folly to them they actually asked me to sign their copies of People. In fact, one of them even had Colin's article and had me sign that too."
The righteous anger and indignation now disappears and his voice is several decibels lower when he speaks again.
"Sorry I lost it. It's just, after all the things you've done for this country and people still don't recognize you..."
"It's fine, Josh. I'm treated with respect by the people that matter to me and that's all I care about. Although, I must say your protective boyfriend act is very sexy."
"Is that so?"
"The Rules, Joshua."
"Yes, Donna. Now tell me all about that horrible morning of yours while you read this."
"Well, where should I start? How about trying to avoid seeing the naked man in my apartment this morning?"
"There was a NAKED MAN in your apartment?
--------
I return from my lunch break with Margaret and Carol to discover Annabeth sitting at my desk.
"Annabeth, to what do I owe the pleasure..."
"Inside."
I follow the petite woman into Josh's office to find Toby, CJ and Josh who looks just as bewildered as I feel.
"What's going on?"
"Well, Donna, it looks like today is going to be The Day."
I instantly realize what this means and feel a knot of dread in my stomach. I glance over at Josh and see that he still looks blank.
"What do you mean The Day?"
CJ interjects briefly.
"Josh, you are stupid."
"Thanks, but it still doesn't really answer the question."
Annabeth shoots a pleading look at Toby and he answers the question for her.
"You know how this past weekend you made a certain proclamation to a certain young woman that we're all rather fond of?"
Josh nods and then dawning crosses his face. He speaks slowly.
"The story is coming out today."
We've now returned to Annabeth's domain so she replies.
"Yup. And now we have 45 minutes to decide how we're going to spin it at the briefing."
"Wait, why do we have to spin it?"
I am rather fond of this man and on most days I love him but sometimes he can be stupid.
"Because Josh, this does not look good. A senior White House official is dating his attractive young, blonde, leggy assistant."
"Thank you."
Annabeth nods at my interjection.
"Besides all the possible questions about sexual harassment there's also the questions about her qualifications. Donna doesn't have an actual degree and although everyone in this town knows she's far more competent than half of Congress there's still going to be some mud slung about how Donna actually got her job."
I'm prepared for this comment but obviously Josh isn't as he immediately bristles.
"Are you saying that they're going to insinuate that..."
"Yes, Josh, and in some cases they're just going to come right out and say it."
Josh visibly struggles with these thoughts for a few seconds and then based on the slumping of his shoulders he gives in and then he repeats the question.
"Ok, so how ARE we going to spin this?"
"Well, there's always 'The White House does not comment on the personal lives of its employees.'" Annabeth suggests.
"That will work about as well as hitting the press corps over the head with CJ's purse and hoping they all get amnesia," I add.
Toby and CJ exchange glances and I realize that they already had a plan lined up for this a long time ago. Looking back on my relationship with Josh, I can't really blame them. CJ speaks for the duo.
"Josh and Donna are going to give an announcement."
"She and I are going to do what?"
"You're going to give an announcement. You, Joshua, are going to inform the American public that you and Donna have realized a mutual attraction that you have had for some time. You will then state that you have nothing but honorable intentions when it comes to your romantic relationship with your assistant. It will intentionally be set up so that it would be similar to if you were going to ask Donna's father for permission to date his daughter."
"And after we, although it sounds more like it will be me doing most of the talking, make this announcement, then what?"
"There will be ten minutes for questions, after which point the White House will then refrain from making any further comments on your relationship unless it becomes more serious."
I look over at Josh and he gives me a questioning look. He knows that when it comes to the questions I'll be the one who will be hammered. I give him a reassuring look, knowing that this is the best and really the only way to deal with this. Josh and I then speak in unison.
"Ok."
--------
Josh and I stand outside the briefing room watching the monitor that shows Annabeth answering questions on other issues and trying to avoid the ones on us. The reporters seem disbelieving that there will be a period for that in a matter of minutes. Seeing that Annabeth is winding down and getting ready to introduce us, I grip Josh's hand. He gives me a dimpled smile and squeezes back.
"While I find this rather pleasant, Donna, we should probably follow CJ's instructions and avoid any physical contact while we're up there."
I nod. Carol approaches and motions for us to enter the pressroom. Flashes immediately start going off as soon as we enter and Annabeth's final sentence that hands the podium over to us is nearly drowned out by all the questions being shouted at Josh and I.
Standing at the podium I vaguely listen as Josh begins the speech that Toby and Sam had wrote during the second year of the first administration. A few changes and additions were all that was required during the fifteen minutes of prep time. Toby nudged Josh when he gave him the speech and told him that this had been long overdue. As I watch the clock at the back of the room I note that there are about two more minutes before the inquisition begins. I tune back in.
"Many of you are aware of the many contributions that Donna has made while we worked to make this administration a reality. Some of you were around when Donna joined the first campaign and chose to work for me, God only knows why. In fact, a better question may be why she stayed. I'm sure a few of you have received one of the many bouquets that Donna is forced to send after I am rude and insulting."
Josh stops briefly and then looks up.
"It should be noted here that I did not write all of this speech."
Josh pauses for some laughter.
"But if you think I'm horrible to the press corps, congress, the senate and Republicans you would shudder at thoughtless behaviour and words I've directed towards my assistant."
I now realize that Josh has now started ad libbing a little here because he starts praising me for putting up with him and his thoughtlessness, despite the many personal barbs thrown my way. I feel a slight flush near the base of my neck and am grateful when Josh returns to the script. He quickly draws to a close.
"I want to inform all of you that my relationship with Donna, up until this point has always been purely professional (I manage to choke down a laugh at that statement) and that my romantic feelings for her and our romantic relationship has only begun recently. We will now spend ten minutes taking questions."
As the room returns into an uproar I feel a familiar and unpleasant twinge in my thigh just before stabbing, white-hot pain courses through my thigh. I am grateful for the cacophony as it hides the sound of my hand thudding loudly onto the podium as I cling to it for dear life with my right hand. Thankfully the first question is for Josh and after he finishes answering it he calls on Danny.
"So, Donna, what exactly do you see in this lug?"
I take a deep breath and manage to speak through the pain.
"Oh, I don't know Danny. He looks pretty good in a tux, he can dance and he gave me one of the greatest opportunities of my life. He might not always be a charmer but he's got me pretty much hooked."
"You said pretty much?"
"Well, Danny, if you were to decide to try to steal me away, Josh may have himself a little bit of competition."
The corps laughs and then starts thundering questions again. I am enthralled at the shade of white my knuckles have turned. Then the pain starts to increase and I feel myself starting to lose my balance. Thinking quickly I latch onto Josh's right arm with my left hand and squeeze hard. He glances at my face and then catches sight of the shade of my knuckles. He nods slightly and I immediately and surreptitiously put some of my weight on him. The pain eases back slowly.
Josh then points to one of the reporters who is more hostile towards this government. This was part of the plan of attack but I still dread it when the reporter opens his mouth.
"Ms. Moss, how did you start working for Mr. Lyman?"
"I started out as a volunteer at the campaign office in New Hampshire."
"And you were assigned to Mr. Lyman?"
"Essentially."
"Essentially?"
"I was told to go help where it looked like I was needed. I came across Josh's hole of an office, which looked like all the stuff that had been sucked in through all the black holes in the universe had been dumped there. I started cleaning it up and I also started answering the phone. When Josh finally came across me, he let me stay."
During the last part of my answer, I begin to feel a slow pain throbbing upward from ankle. I realize that my three-inch heels may just be my undoing. I still manage to keep my attention on the reporter through the increasing haze of pain while he asks another question.
"I have records that show, Ms. Moss, that you were not on payroll during the first campaign from the middle of March until the second week in April. Why is that?"
Out of the corner my eye I see Josh's face tighten.
"I'm sorry, but you've already asked one series of questions. Also, that question is not relevant to the matter being discussed."
"Actually, Josh, I'd like to answer."
Josh nods at me and I'm about to open my mouth when a new and overwhelming wave of pain hits me. My fingers spontaneously relax and I feel myself falling to the ground. I hit it rather hard and would probably have noticed the jolt it if my leg weren't causing me so much pain. I vaguely hear the incomprehensible increase of noise from the press corps but the haze that surrounds me muffles the sound. I see Josh kneel down next to me behind the podium. I attempt a smile and manage to try to reassure him.
"I think that may permanently overshadow the secret plan to fight inflation."
Josh gives me a smile of relief, which quickly disappears when to my consternation I faint because of the pain.
--------
I come to on the couch in CJ's old office. The first sight I see is a very relieved smile on Josh's face. I attempt to return it but feel that it must look pretty weak. Rubbing my thigh, which is still throbbing, I look around and realize that the office is very close to bursting.
"So..."
My voice cracks and I take a sip of the bottle of water Josh hands me before I try to speak again.
"What's next?"
A ripple of relieved laughter rolls through the room and after reassuring themselves that I am still alive and relatively well much of the support staff leaves. I am left with Josh, CJ, Toby, Annabeth, Leo, the First Lady, the on-call doctor and near the back I see Lara, my physiotherapist.
"How long was I out for?"
The First Lady steps forward and begins feeling my forehead and checking my pulse.
"About twenty minutes."
"That long?"
"Well, from what Josh tells us you put quite a bit of stress on your leg today and it decided to let you know that it wasn't going to take kindly to this kind of thing. It also doesn't help that you didn't sit down as soon as you felt your leg giving you trouble. All that did was amplify the problem until the pain was too much for you. The reason you were unconscious for so long is most likely a combination of pain from the cramp as well as hitting the floor so hard when you fell."
"With all due respect, Mrs. Bartlet, I couldn't really leave what I was doing at that moment."
She smiles at me, nods at the doctor and the pair leaves. Lara now comes into power.
"Ok, I want everyone out. Donna's going to need a massage to get herself back up to par and we need some privacy."
Josh now chimes in.
"You know Lara, I could really use a massage too."
"Out!"
"Fine, we're leaving. Leo you can use my office to do whatever it is you were doing before we invaded. I'll work at Donna's desk until she comes back."
I am forced to speak at this point.
"Actually, Josh, you have a meeting up on the Hill in twenty minutes with Senator Shore."
"I stand corrected."
Everyone exchanges relieved smiles. I'm almost sounding like my normal self. The rest of the crowd starts to file out, but Josh still lingers. Lara starts scolding again.
"Josh, when I said everyone out, that does include you."
"I know, I know."
He gives me a meaningful look.
"I'll see you later."
He starts to head out, but Lara calls him back.
"Josh!"
"Yeah?"
"Your announcement was good. Take good care of this girl, you hear?"
"I intend to."
Josh gives me another look that gives me that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. He holds my gaze up until the door closes.
"Ok Donna, let's get to work."
--------
I resurface from my impromptu physio appointment about an hour later feeling refreshed but still favoring my leg. Lara is forcing me to use my cane for the rest of the day, which means I'm going to be avoiding walking for most of it. I think she intentionally planned it that way.
I poke my head into Josh's office to let Leo know that his makeshift office is free again.
"Donna."
"Hey Leo."
"You're looking better."
"Massage will do that for you."
"I bet it will."
I smile at him and help him to pull together the files he brought with him.
"For what it's worth, Donna, I think the press briefing went really well."
"Yeah, except for the whole collapsing bit, I think it did too."
"You know, I think your collapsing will inadvertently work better for us than the briefing ever could."
"Seeing as you're the political genius, I'll take your word for it."
Leo smiles and pats my shoulder on his way out and I flop down in Josh's desk chair as I attempt to organize the chaos on his desk. I'm unsure of how much time passes before I hear a familiar voice call out to me softly.
"Hey beautiful."
"Hi."
"How you doing?"
"Better."
"Lara said you have to use your cane for the rest of day."
"Yup."
"I guess that means you need a ride home tonight, huh?"
"Sure."
"Think I'm going to get more than one word answers out of you?"
"Maybe."
"Are you really ok?"
I look up and give Josh a more reassuring smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just having the day from hell can really take a lot out of you, you know?"
"Yeah."
I spin around in the chair to grab my cane from where it rests against the windowsill. As I get up and head back to my desk, Josh comes around his and places his hands on my forearms. I look up into his face. We say nothing but I read the millions of words in Josh's eyes that express concern, love and relief. He eventually lets go and I'm halfway out the door when Josh calls me back.
"Hey Donna."
"Yeah?"
"I realized today when I was carrying you out of the press room that I think today is the first day you've worn a skirt since you came back from Germany."
"That's very observant, Josh. You're right, it is."
"And earlier today when you were telling me all about your horrid morning you said you had to find dark pantyhose."
"Yes, I did."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"Why haven't you worn a skirt before today? Why did you have to wear dark pantyhose with it?"
"Why do you think?"
"I think you know what I think. I also think that I know what you think. But I want you to tell me why."
"To hide them."
"Them being..."
"My scars."
"Donna those are nothing to be ashamed of, you shouldn't have to hide them. You shouldn't want to hide them."
"Josh, you don't know how awful they are. How angry they look. How they mar the alabaster skin I've always been so proud of. You don't know how it feels to be working out in the gym in shorts and have people staring at your legs and then whispering about what happened to you."
"I do have some idea, Donna."
"I really don't think you do, Josh. I know you have scars, but I can't ever say I've seen them. You can hide yours. It would be pretty extraordinary for you to show up anywhere without your shirt on. I think the only people who have seen your scars are the doctors and the women you've slept with."
"Donna..."
"I'm sorry, Josh. I didn't mean to lose my temper but I really need to go back to work now."
"Donna."
I close the door behind me and don't look back.
--------
I am sitting at my desk, staring at the televisions above me. It seems every single news channel and several non-news channels are playing footage of my collapse earlier in the day. There is also later footage of Lara explaining what happened. If there is any footage of my briefing with Josh, it is solely his announcement of good intent towards me. Leo was right, this worked out even better for us than we planned. My concentration is broken when Josh pokes his head out of his office door.
"Hey Donna, can you come in here for a minute. It's important."
"Sure. Have you seen this?"
I am standing at my desk pointing at the TV. Josh nods. I approach his office, using my cane. Josh opens the door for me, remaining behind it. He closes it after I've seated myself in the visitor's chair. It is at this point I realize that there are no lights on in his office.
"Josh?"
I hear more than see him move in front of me and lean against his desk.
"I was thinking about what you said before."
"Josh, I was angry, I..."
"No, you were right. That's why I decided that you should see this."
The light of his desk lamp floods the room and I am greeted with the sight of Josh, shirtless. I instantly rise to my feet and Josh reaches out to steady me, as I refuse to use my cane at this moment. I see the ripple of his muscles as he holds me upright but I am transfixed by the jagged pink mark on his chest. The color is more faded than the marks on my leg but it is still a sharp contrast to the slight tan of his skin. I reach out and lightly run my fingers across the textured surface of the scar. I can feel myself tearing up. After several moments I lean forward and allow Josh to envelope me while I start to cry.
"Sshhhh. It's ok, Donna. It's alright."
My voice is muffled against his chest.
"Mmbimes, ah vernet."
"What?"
I lift my head up, but Josh continues to hold me close as my watery eyes meet his brown ones.
"Sometimes I forget."
"Forget what?"
My voice cracks as I reply.
"How close I came to losing you. It hovers in the back of my brain usually, just how precious your life is, but sometimes I still forget. This just reinforces that and it scares me."
I bury my head into his shoulder. He sways me gently as he speaks softly in my ear.
"It shouldn't scare you, Donna. You need to look at it the way I do, as a confirmation that I'm still alive. That I stayed alive because I didn't want to leave you."
I let out a louder sob and squeeze him tighter.
"Sshh, sshh."
When I finally get myself under control I look back up into Josh's face. He still refuses to let me leave his embrace as he takes his thumb and wipes away a stray tear. As I gaze at his face I realize that his eyes are suspiciously moist.
"Josh?"
"Hmm."
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, it's just I came just as close to losing you. In fact, I think I came closer."
"Oh, Josh."
"I mean, I know that being shot is serious but being in an explosion half a world away is a thousand times worse. I spent hours trying to find out what had happened to you. I was so angry and upset that I lost it outside the Oval Office and started shouting that we should blow up the whole region. When I finally got to you, you looked so pale and fragile and it scared me even more at how close I came to losing you. And then I come to the hospital a couple days later to find your hospital room empty, with bits of blood-covered gauze on the floor and I'm informed that you've developed a pulmonary embolism, the same thing that killed my father, and somewhere deep in my psyche I was convinced that there was nothing anyone could do and I would another person in my life that I cherished was gone. When I saw you just before the surgery and you told me you were scared it took every ounce of my strength to keep me from losing it right there and then."
At this point, Josh's voice cracks and he pulls me closer and I rest my head against his shoulder as I gently rub circles on his bare back. We've never discussed this stuff before and I find that I feel more relieved and even more in love with him than before. Josh takes a deep breath, kisses the top of my head and then loosens his grip. I step back, still holding his hands for support.
"Feel better?"
"Yes."
"Me too."
My gaze returns to the scar on his chest and I brush my fingers across it again. I feel Josh gasp sharply and I look at him questioningly.
"What?"
"That is just unbelievably sexy and arousing."
I smile softly and roll my eyes. I move forward and allow him to embrace me again. I close my eyes and sigh, hearing Josh release a gush of air also. We then mutually let go and I return to my chair.
"Now Josh, I do appreciate the gesture that was intended by the removal of your shirt but you were in fact breaking The Rules. Being topless is not permitted until rule number..."
I stop when I see Josh leaning forward eagerly.
"You can stop giving me that look, Josh. I'm not going to tell you what number it is."
He slumps back with a sigh, but then straightens up with eagerness.
"Hey! Our first date is in two days."
"Yes, Josh, Saturday night. You still picking me up at 7:00?"
"Most definitely. You've picked out a dress?"
"Yes, one I'm sure you'll appreciate."
"Mmm."
I leave Josh to imagine me in the cocktail dress I picked up for our date but I stop at the threshold to his office and turn around.
"Hey Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"I came back for you, too."
The most amazing look enters Josh's eyes and he mouths an I love you to me before I leave his office, closing the door behind me.
End Part Four