Chapter 5: First Date

So suddenly it's clear to me
Things change
Our future lies here and now
We made it through somehow

It took every ounce of self-control Jack owned not to grab Lamont and throw him against the wall the moment he was led through the door. The guard escorting Lamont eyed Jack warily as he motioned for the handcuffed man to sit down at the table across from him. Jack knew he was lucky to be able to see Lamont at all, since he was not a working agent on this case. In this instance, it paid to have connections.

"Nice of you to drop by. I'm surprised I haven't seen you sooner. How's our girl adjusting to life outside?" the dark-haired man asked with exaggerated concern.

Jack wanted to reach across the table and wipe the grin off his face, but he clenched his fists instead, determined not to take the bait. "Sue's fine. No thanks to you," he answered curtly.

"I didn't hurt her. I didn't harm a hair on her head. She's got such pretty hair." Lamont watched Jack carefully and looked a little disappointed not to get the reaction he was hoping for.

Jack held his ground, knowing that if he lost control now he wouldn't get any of the answers he sought. There was no way he'd be allowed back in if he blew it this time. "Why her? Why did you feel the need to involve someone who is completely innocent in all of this?" Jack demanded.

"I lost my family because of you. My baby will never know her daddy. I wanted to give you a taste of how I felt." Lamont's eyes flashed angrily, and Jack could see he was still the same loose cannon he'd been before.

"I was just doing my job," Jack retorted. "You did it to yourself."

"You destroyed me! I lost everything! I wanted to do the same to you, starting with her," Lamont yelled, his face contorted in fury.

"Sue and I work together; we're just friends." Jack sputtered. "You were just looking for an excuse to victimize someone, because you're angry at how you've screwed up your own life. Just admit it!"

"Just friends...right," Lamont said, calm once again. "You keep telling yourself that. And for the record, I didn't do a thing to her. Don't think the thought didn't cross my mind though, she's quite a woman."

Suddenly the thought of this tall, heavy-set man violating Sue the way she'd described was too much for Jack, and he lunged at Lamont, grabbing him around the throat. Lamont eyes opened wide as he gasped, fighting for breath. Immediately the guard reacted, grabbing hold of Jack's arms and forcing him to let go. Jack backed off, breathing heavily, while Lamont coughed and rubbed his neck, an expression of satisfaction on his face.

"Out," the guard told Jack, pointing to the door.

"I'm sorry; it won't happen again. I just need to ask a few more questions," Jack said, pleading with his eyes. The guard nodded, but Jack knew he wouldn't get any more chances.

"Look, I already told your buddies everything that happened. Besides, I'm sure you must have better things to do right now." Lamont smiled suggestively.

"I want to know why you stopped," Jack asked suddenly.

"Stopped? What are you talking about?" Lamont retorted.

"Sue told me what happened; she thought you were going to rape her, but you stopped. Were you just dragging things out, or were you really going to leave her alone?"

Lamont's face grew serious as he listened to Jack. "Believe me, when I first saw her close up, my first thought was that using her to get to you was going to be one hell of a good time. She's a lot like Lia, though. That's the other thing I thought. She really reminded me of her," Lamont said, a faraway look in his eyes.

"Your ex-wife," Jack said.

"Yeah. She's the reason I stopped. I've never hurt a woman before, and when she started to cry all I could think about was the guy I used to be when I was with Lia. He would never have forced himself on a woman," Lamont said, a look of disgust on his face. "I knew that if I hurt her to get to you, that guy would be gone forever." It surprised Jack to see such humanity in this man. He'd been thinking of him as no less than a monster the past few days.

Now, looking at the mess he'd made of his life, Jack almost felt sorry for the guy.

"It's a good thing he isn't gone, because if he were you'd be going away for a lot longer than you already are. Hopefully you can find him while you're in jail, instead of focusing on revenge. Then maybe when you get out next time you can get your life back," Jack told him. He got up from the table, leaving behind a surprised looking Lamont. He had to admit he'd even surprised himself by keeping it together as well as he had.

He knew that giving Lamont a black eye or a bloody nose would have felt great at the time, but it wouldn't have helped him put this incident to rest. As Jack walked down the hallway, he pictured the disapproving expression Sue would have if he were to tell her about this little visit. An eruption of violence, albeit a small one, resulting from Jack's attempt to defend her honor wouldn't make Sue feel any better about the situation. He wouldn't bring it up unless she did. From now on the focus was going to be on moving forward, not looking back.

Suddenly Jack couldn't wait to see her again. Tomorrow seemed so far away...

Saturday

Sue opened the door of her apartment, and Jack found himself momentarily speechless as he took in the sight of her. He presented her with the fresh flowers he'd picked up on the way, and she smiled brightly, thanking him as she inhaled their scene.

She was wearing a beige skirt that fell to just below the knee and a light blue blouse. Her hair was loose and flowing, just the way he liked it. More than anything though, it had been the look in her eyes and the smile on her lips that had affected him from the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

You look lovely, Jack signed to her.

Thank you, she signed back, her cheeks flushing slightly under his gaze.

Lucy entered the room with Levi on his leash. "Hey Jack. Nice flowers!" she said, smiling approvingly at the bouquet in Sue's arms.

"Hi Luce. Where are you guys off to?" Jack asked her.

"I'm going to take Levi for a run in the dog-park," Lucy replied. "Something to distract him from the fact that he doesn't get to go with Sue."

"So I get you all to myself; how lucky am I?" Jack said, smiling at Sue. She smiled back at him, looking a little embarrassed.

"You two have a great lunch. See you later." Lucy and Levi left, and things grew quiet again for a moment as they stood there looking at each other awkwardly.

"Well, I'm just going to go and put these in some water, and then we can leave, okay?" Sue said. Jack nodded and watched her walk away, wondering why he suddenly felt so nervous. Then he realized that even though they'd been out together many times before, this was the first time it had actually felt like they were going on a date.

During lunch they chatted amiably of many things, except the subject Jack was sure rested heavily on both their minds. It was strange, even now that it was out in the open he still felt awkward bringing up their feelings for each other.

After they'd finished their meals, they each ordered a piece of cheesecake for dessert, and Sue excused herself to go to the restroom. As she walked away Jack thought about how happy he felt right now just being with her, even though he was feeling a bit overwhelmed, given the roller coaster of emotions he'd been experiencing the past few days. He'd finally stopped looking for an opportunity to bring up the subject as they ate, and instead he focused on simply enjoying her company. The moment would come when it was meant to happen.

Eating a meal with Sue was always a good opportunity to practice signing, too, and as she had jokingly pointed out once, they could speak with their mouths full. It was just another part of their relationship that he'd missed while she was gone. He was learning new signs all the time, and she was always so patient and encouraging. The best part of learning ASL for him was that he was getting to share in a part of Sue's world that he used to know nothing about.

"What are you thinking about?" Sue's voice brought him out of his reverie, and Jack realized he'd been so busy been staring off into space that he hadn't noticed her return to the table.

"I was just thinking about how grateful I am for all I've learned from you," Jack answered honestly.

Sue smiled at that comment. "Well, I'm glad you're willing to learn. Not everyone is, you know."

Jack knew that was true, he'd witnessed first-hand how some people hadn't even wanted Sue in their unit, much less had any desire to learn from her. Things had definitely improved, but Jack was sure that Sue probably still met with resistance at times.

"I wish everyone was as open-minded as you are, Jack," Sue said quietly, an almost sad expression on her face.

"People who aren't don't know what they're missing," he replied with a smile, reaching over to cover her hands with his. She looked into his eyes, her expression softening into a smile. Jack's heart skipped a beat as he looked back at her, feeling overwhelmed by the power of his feelings for her. The moment was interrupted by the arrival of their dessert. With regret he tore his eyes away from hers as they both thanked the waitress. Jack gave her hands a squeeze before letting go, and both of them started eating their cheesecake.

He caught Sue watching him with an amused expression and realized that he was nearly done while she had barely made a dent in hers. "What? Do you need some help?" he joked, motioning his fork toward her cheesecake.

"No, thanks. I like to savor my desserts, not inhale them," Sue answered cheekily, pulling the plate closer. Jack laughed at her and finished his piece in two bites. Then he eyed her slice, giving her his best puppy-dog face. "Don't even think about it," she warned him. "Just because that works for Levi sometimes doesn't mean it's going to work for you."

"Alright, I won't try to steal your dessert. Unless you can't finish it and then I'll happily take it off your hands," Jack said with a wink. Sue shook her head at him and took another bite. "So, have you spoken to your parents since yesterday morning?" he asked.

Yes, last night, Sue signed.

"I expected they'd be on their way here since I know your mother wanted to see you with her own two eyes to make sure you were really okay," Jack said.

Sue smiled. "My Mom was ready to catch the first plane here, but I talked her out of it. I would love to see my parents, but now isn't the time. I don't want to dwell on what happened. I just want to put it behind me," she said.

"I've never been in a situation like what happened to you, but I can imagine that getting over it is easier said than done," Jack told her.

"Part of me just wants to forget it ever happened, but I know I need to deal with it. I've been having trouble sleeping. I wake up scared, thinking for a moment that I'm back in that room again. I'm going to see one of the therapists at work on Monday," Sue admitted.

"I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to go once or twice," Jack agreed.

I agree, Sue signed as she finished her dessert.

"So do you have any plans for this afternoon?" Jack asked hopefully.

"None so far," Sue answered.

"Do you want to go for a walk? It's a great day out there," he commented.

"I'd love to," she replied.

"Good." Jack smiled at her. He hadn't been ready for their afternoon together to end yet, and he was glad she felt the same way.

They walked in silence for a while, just taking in their surroundings. Jack had so many things he wanted to say to her that he didn't know where to start. He was content for the moment just to walk with her and watch all of the other people out enjoying the day too.

"Thanks for lunch," Sue said, smiling at him.

"You're welcome. It was nice to have lunch with you and not have to worry about getting back to the office for once," Jack replied.

"We should do this more often," Sue said softly.

"Yes; we should," Jack agreed. "Hey, that's a nice park, do you want to wander through?"

"Sure," she replied.

They started walking through the park, and Jack glanced at her, noticing she appeared slightly anxious. "Everything all right?" he asked her, touching her hand.

"I saw David last night," Sue blurted out suddenly, gripping his hand in hers.

"Oh. How did it go?" The pained expression on her face told him that David probably wasn't a happy guy right now.

"We broke up," she replied.

Jack felt a wave of guilt as he realized how good it felt to hear her say those words. "Wow. I wasn't expecting that to happen so soon." They'd reached an area of the park that was more secluded, and Jack gently pulled her over to sit down on a bench.

"I didn't exactly plan for it to happen." Sue admitted, looking down at her hands. "He came over last night and we got to talking about the way we'd both been feeling while I was gone. Where we wanted to go from here."

"So I take it you weren't in agreement over where things should go?" Jack asked carefully.

"No," she replied. "He told me that he was ready to make a commitment. I had to admit that I wasn't there yet and didn't know if I ever would be. I knew it wouldn't be fair for me to hold onto David knowing that my feelings for him will never be as strong as my feelings for you."

"What did you tell him?" Jack asked, feeling his heart pounding away in his chest as he heard her last few words.

"I told him that I had realized I needed to go in a different direction right now and focus on other things in my life," Sue replied, her luminous eyes meeting his. "I never wanted to hurt him but, as nice as he is, I just couldn't see things with us going beyond casual dating. And as much as I tried to push aside my feelings for you, they kept rising to the surface."

"It's been the same for me," Jack admitted. "It doesn't seem to matter who I date, my thoughts always return to you. No matter how wonderful that woman might be---she can't compare to you."

Sue gave him an embarrassed smile at the compliment. "You know, you're pretty wonderful yourself. From the first day that we met you've treated me as an equal. Many people find out I'm deaf and then change the way they act around me or treat me like I'm an idiot," she said with a frown. "Not you, though. You offered me your friendship with no strings, and that means so much to me."

Now it was Jack's turn to feel slightly embarrassed. "I didn't do anything that most people wouldn't do," he insisted modestly.

"There were others who reached out, too but not many," Sue said, shaking her head. "When people aren't used to having someone different around they often go out of their way to avoid that person. People don't want to feel uncomfortable." Jack may not have been guilty of it in this situation, but he felt ashamed just the same. Certainly there had been times in his life when he had been one of those people. "It isn't just them, either; I've had to step outside of my comfort zone, too. I'm glad I did it, though, because I've met lots of great people. I've got a great job and wonderful friends. I'm happy right now in my life, although maybe a little confused at the moment, trying to figure out what I want."

"What do you want right now?" Jack asked her hesitantly.

"I don't quite know that yet. I know that I'm not ready to commit to a serious relationship, though." Jack couldn't hide the disappointment in his eyes. While he hadn't expected them to pledge their undying love for each other, he didn't like the direction Sue seemed to be headed.

Sue smiled and reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his. "I just mean that right now I need to focus on myself and my work...." Jack nodded, trying and failing to put a smile on his face. "At the same time, I would like us to get to know each other even better," she added, still smiling at him.

"I'd like that, too," Jack replied softly, feeling relieved.

"I just don't want to do anything that might ruin what we have now. Another reason my relationship with David didn't work out is that I don't feel like I can fully devote myself to another person right now. It may sound selfish but it's how I feel," Sue said with uncertainty.

"You're one of the most unselfish people I know, Sue. I understand, and I'm not going to ask you for anything more than what you're willing to give. All I know that I'm happiest when I'm with you and that says a lot," he told her.

"It does," Sue agreed. "You make me happy, too. I just wish things didn't have to be so complicated," she said with a sigh.

"No one ever said love isn't complicated," Jack pointed out. Sue raised her eyebrows at him, and he realized what he'd just said.

"That's true," she agreed with a wide smile. "Although we do have a bit more to overcome than your average couple."

"I like hearing the words 'we' and 'couple' in the same sentence," Jack said softly, reaching over to caress her cheek. Sue closed her eyes for a moment, sliding her body closer toward him. His hand moved to the back of her head, his fingers running slowly through her long hair. She opened her eyes again, a soft smile on her lips. He saw so many emotions--desire mixed with fear and a lot of caring.

The look in her eyes and the proximity of her body to his made his next decision an easy one. Throwing caution to the wind Jack leaned toward her, connecting his lips with hers. Sue's hands found their way into his hair as his traveled down her back, pulling her even closer. He'd thought before of what it might be like to kiss her, but he'd never thought it would feel quite like this. It was almost electric, the feelings surging through his body.

It was Sue who finally broke their connection then leaned in for another quick kiss before she pulled away from him. "You weren't kidding," she said breathlessly, a smile on her face.

"Kidding about what?" He was genuinely baffled, still reeling from the kiss, and not having a clue as to what she might be talking about.

"Remember when you told me that if you'd have kissed me on the first date that I would have fallen for you on the first date?" she asked him, a soft smile on her lips.

"I do." Jack put his arm around her, leaning back against the bench, her head against his shoulder. He remembered that conversation well. He'd been flirting with her, trying to get a reaction but she'd managed to let that insinuation slide by without commenting on it.

"Well, you weren't kidding." Sue said with a chuckle. "Then again, I think I fell for you a long time ago. But there was always something or someone getting in the way."

"Now there's no one in the way," Jack pointed out.

"But there is something. What about work?" she asked.

Jack nodded. The no dating within units policy was definitely a hurdle he wished they didn't have to deal with. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I've always had to try and keep my emotions in check when it comes to you, especially when we're working together. That's nothing new," Jack admitted.

"I guess if our feelings do start to interfere then I'll have to get a transfer," she said quietly.

"It's a good possibility, but the fact that you're not actually an agent may give us a little room to move, too." It was a slim possibility, but Jack felt that they had time to figure out something, especially if they didn't rush into anything.

"Maybe," Sue said, biting her lip thoughtfully.

"For now I agree that we should take things slow. At least we're being honest about our feelings, and now we're free to...explore them." He grinned at her, and she smiled back at him. Suddenly she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. The kiss wasn't as passionate as the last. It was slower and sweeter and held the promise of something more. Jack didn't know exactly what that was but knew that he couldn't wait to find out.

THE END