I Miss You More than You Know

This is a collection of stories involving Titan orphans Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Robin.

First: Beast Boy, All is well in Titans Tower, but Garfield Logan still silently grieves over the death of his parents, especially his mother. Little does he know that his grief will bring about a strange manefestation...

It was a bright day in Jump City. Not much was going on. Robin was working out, Starfire was watching Cyborg and Beast Boy play games, and Raven was reading a book. "Hey guys, how 'bout we rent a movie," Robin suggested as he came into the room.

"You guys rent whatever you want, I won't be watching it tonight," Beast Boy said. He'd forgetten what day it was. It was a sad day for him, he'd lost his mom and is dad in a boating accident. He often blamed himself for what happened. He felt he could have prevented it.

"What is the matter friend Beast Boy, since when do you not watch movies with us?" Starfire asked, concerned.

"I'm fine guys, I just don't feel like watching a movie tonight." Beast Boy went to his room.

"Man, wonder what's the matter with him. He never acts this way." Cyborg looked mystified.

"That is strange," Raven frowned behind her book. Then she resumed reading.

It was late that night and all the Titans were asleep. Except for Beast Boy, he was staring sadly at a photograph of his family. How he missed that life! His dad was a genetics researcher, and sure, he'd broken quite a few beakers filled with chemicals and experiments, but he was still happy and he still had his family. Back before they were ripped away from him, before the accident that stole them away.

He sighed, sobbing quietly, he buried his face in his hands. He missed them so much, but he could never get them back. They'd been dead for nine years, why waste his grief? He felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he thought it was one of his friends. "Leave me alone." He didn't even look up.

"Garfield..." the voice whispered to him. "I'm here, it's alright."

He started. No one called him "Garfield" anymore. Not even his friends, because they didn't know. He quietly looked up, unsure of what he would see before him. What he saw shocked him, it was his mother.

"Son..." Marie quietly whispered in his ear. "I've missed you."

"Mom, you're dead!" Beast Boy tried to keep his voice from shouting. Who knows what would happen if they came in the room. She might disappear and he'd never see her again.

"So I am, son," she smiled. Oh, how Beast Boy loved his mom's smile. It was the one that was always reserved just for him, when she was so proud of him and what he could do.

"Why are you here, mom?" he asked, confused about such strange manefestations.

"I'm here because of you son. You miss me don't you?" Marie Logan quietly wrapped her arms around him. He wasn't sure if it was possible, with her being dead, but the moment he felt the warmth, he knew she could touch him, though he didn't know how.

"I've missed you, Mom," Beast Boy stared up at his mom's siloette. "How are you here?"

"How should I know?" She stared at him quietly. She sat down besiide his bed, he quietly made room for her. Frowning, he stared at her intently. "So how are you?"

"I'm fine," he said. He looked up, smiling happily. It was wonderful to just talk to her again. He began to talk about the Titans, his life at the Tower, everything he'd always wanted to tell her. He talked for a long time. It was early in the morning when she looked at the clock in his room.

"You should sleep Gar," Marie quietly tucked him into bed. "Look at you, my little hero. Go to sleep." She pulled the covers over him. Beast Boy smiled quietly.

"Will I see you again, Mom?" Beast Boy asked, not daring to hope for the answer.

"Soon, son, sometime soon," Marie replied. Kissing his forehead, she stepped away, fading into the darkness. Beast Boy could dare hope that what he had seen was true.

The next day Beast Boy went about the day as if nothing had happened. Cyborg noticed that he was once again his normal self. Cyborg came over to him and slapped him on the back. "So, are you okay, man? You had us worried yesterday."

"Huh?" Beast Boy asked, distracted. Thoughts of his mom were deterring him from the conversation.

"I said you had us worried yesterday. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"You seem distracted," Cyborg noticed his strange behavior. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," he lied a little bit. He didn't really want to reveal that he'd seen his mother. Who would believe him?

"Come on man, it's not nothing! Why are you so tired today? Are you not sleeping?" Cyborg blocked him as Beast Boy tried to walk away from him.

"It's nothing. I'm fine. So leave me alone!" Beast Boy snarled and shoved him out of the way. He stomped off to his room. He waited for evening, and wondered if she would come again.

Cyborg was scowling. What was the matter with Beast Boy? Why was he so snappy? He stomped back into the Tower and began to pour out his frustration on the weight machines. It was late in the evening, almost midnight, when he saw Beast Boy walk by the gym. He'd been cleaning off the equipment, and he saw him walking towards the outside. Why was he going outside? He had to find out.

Cyborg quietly snuck along the walls, stealthfully waiting for Beast Boy to be out of sight. Robin saw him and gave him a funny look. "What are you doing?"

"I'm following Beast Boy," replied Cyborg.

"Where's he going?" Robin asked.

"I don't know," Cyborg said, "I want to find out." They quietly followed Beast Boy out of the Tower. He was standing by the water, waiting for something or someone. But who?

Cyborg and Robin watched, waited for whatever was going to happen. At firsrt, they saw nothing, then a form a siloette of a woman, at least they thought it was a woman. At first they thought it was Terra. But they realized it wasn't her when they realized she had dark, almost black hair and not Terra's blond colored hair.

"Mom!" Beast Boy called out, running to her. She stooped down to take him in her arms, hugging him firmly.

"Mom?" Robin and Cyborg asked, looking at each other. They didn't understand what was going on. They stepped out from where they were hiding. Sticks snapped beneath their feet and Beast Boy and the woman with him looked up at them silently.

"Gar, who are these people?" she asked. Her voice was kind and curious. The warmth filled them with a sense of trust. Whoever she was, she was a very trusting person.

"Uh, lady who's Gar?" Robin asked.

"Gar is my son." She smiled, staring down at Beast Boy, who was nuzzled into her lap as a puppy.

"Wait a second, Beast Boy, your name is Gar?" Cyborg was a little stunned.

"Yes, it's the name I gave him when he was born," the woman replied quietly running her fingers through his hair.

"Are you really his mother?" Cyborg asked.

"Yes, my name's Marie," the woman smiled.

"I'm Cyborg."

"I'm Robin."

"You seem...transparent." Robin observed. "Are you...?"

"Dead?" Marie finished for him. "Yes, if that's what you want to call it...then yes, I am dead."

"If you're dead, how can Beast Boy hug you?"

"Beast Boy?" Marie frowned.

"Gar," Robin pointed at Beast Boy, who seemed oblivious to the entire conversation.

"How can he touch me?" Marie looked thoughtful. "How should I know? But I can touch him nonetheless."

"Why's he so oblivious to this conversation?" Robin asked.

"I think he's asleep!" Cyborg laughed. Nudging him lightly, he moaned and curled back into a ball. "Yep, he's asleep! Do you want me to wake him up?"

"No, Cyborg. I'll do that." Marie Logan smiled. Walking towards the water, Marie without hesitation, threw him into the water. With a shout, Beast Boy yelped and swam back to the shore, looking around at Robin and Cyborg who were laughing histerically. At first, he thought they had done it, but then he saw his mother laughing and chuckling to herself with amusement.

"Mom! What'd you do that for?" he asked, sputtering and skulking as he stomped over to them.

"Because you fell asleep," she laughed aloud.

Raven and Starfire ran out, hearing all the noise. Star's shock was on her face as she saw a sopping wet Beast Boy and a strange woman with them while Robin and Cyborg were laughing uncontrollably. "What's going on?" Raven asked, curious about what was going on.

"Is this your new best friend Beast Boy?" Starfire asked.

"She's not my friend, Starfire...she's my mother," Beast Boy replied. Star's mouth dropped open. Raven started and stepped back. Beast Boy had never talked out his mother. This was interesting. And the fact that she was transparent like a ghost made her more curious.

"She's your...mother?" Raven asked.

"My name is Marie Logan. Garfield, Beast Boy, as you call him, is my son. Can we go inside, I would like to explain myself," Marie Logan smiled.

They all sat on the big circular couch in the living room. Marie and Gar sat together with the Titans gathered around. "So, uh, Marie, what's all this about you and, uh, Gar?" Robin asked. "Are you really his mother?"

"I am," she replied.

"But you are not green like friend Beast Boy," Starfire said.

"Yes, there is a reason for that, it began when he was a little boy. He came down with a disease called Sakutia." Marie began.

"But that disease is fatal! No one's ever survived." Cyborg looked at Beast Boy with a new sense of respect. "Wow."

"Why is this Sakutia so fatal?" Starfire asked.

"It's related to Malaria, there's no known cure...only animals can survive, if there lucky," Cyborg explained.

"So what'd you guys do?" Robin asked.

"The only thing we could do," Marie continued. "Hope for a miracle. That miracle came in a strange way. My husband, his father, Mark Logan came up with a shot that would turn him into an animal for 24 hours. It was risky, but we did it. We didn't know how long he'd be with us if we didn't."

Marie sighed, "It worked, he was a monkey for a day and the only major side effect was that Gar's skin turned green. We were happy just to have him alive."

"He was fine for a long time. We had a good life. Then one day, I was attacked by a Mamba snake. Mark couldn't get to me and he was the only one who was really close to me. I don't know how he did it, but I guess he wanted to help me so bad that something inside him mutated and he turned himself into a green mongoose."

"You're such a showofff," Marie lauged. Beast Boy had morphed into a mongoose and was sitting on her lap, if you could call it sitting on someone that was semi-transparent. "Well, anyway, he saved my life. Mark Logan made him keep his powers a secret. He's a special boy, you know this already." The Titans nodded.

"But what happened to you then?" Robin asked. He was begining to understand just a little of who Beast Boy was.

"Well, his father Mark and I, died in a boating accident." Marie looked very solemn for the first time. Beast Boy morphed back into his original form and looked very sad himself.

"It's my fault you and dad-"

"Don't you ever say that, Gar!" Marie's voice was stern. "It was an accident. There wasn't anything you could have done."

"But I could have!" shouted Beast Boy angrily. "And I should have!"

"Gar, you were five years old, you'd just gotten your powers a year before," Marie looked at him, her expression was very soothing and comforting. "The time comes, son when you just have to let go."

"I don't want to let go! I don't want to lose you!" Beast Boy said. Cyborg saw the tears in his eyes. "I don't want you to leave me again. He broke down sobbing, Marie quietly wrapped her arms around him, hugging him.

"Shh," she whispered, "It's okay, son."

"Mom, you don't understand. I've lost everybody. You, dad, even my adopted parents are either dead or gone My old friends from the Doom Patrol...they're all dead. My adoptive dad is an insane maniac now, so you see...I just...don't want to lose you Mom."

"You'll never lose me, son. I've always been with you." Marie looked up as the sun barely peaked above the horizon. "I must go now."

"But mom, you just got here!" protested Beast Boy.

"I have to go. That's the way it works." Smiling, she pulled him into another hug. "I will always be with you, Gar. I promise."

"I love you mom." Beast Boy's voice was just a whisper.

"Go to sleep, son." She wrapped him up in a blanket as he curled up on the couch. His friends watched her quietly, not knowing what to say. "Take care of him for me," she told them.

"We will," Robin promised.

"Thank you," Marie whispered as her transparent form dissapaited into thin air. The Titans looked at their sleeping frined.

"I hope he'll be okay," Robin said.

"I'm sure he will," Cyborg replied.

"I think he's found peace at last." Raven said.

"At least now we know what was bothering him yesterday," Starfire added.

Then they turned and went to their room, letting thier friend sleep.