Mendokuse

Subtitle: The Woes of a Lazy Shinobi

A ShikaIno story

Summary: (ShikaIno and slight SasuNaru) Shikamaru would like nothing better than lazing around all day playing shogi or goh and watching the clouds; some things were just too troublesome to deal with. Especially hormones. Unfortunately, if there's one thing a teenage boy can't ignore, it's that.

Note to readers: It might be a tiny bit confusing for people who haven't seen the episodes about Chouji (because they include scenes about Chouji and Shikamaru as little kids - LITTLE SHIKAMARU IS ADORABLE IN ALL HIS BABY GRUMPINESS!), so I apologize.

Chapter Three: The Power of Yakiniku (a.k.a. BBQ)

Chouji was a very patient person. He was even doubly so in matters which concerned the welfare of his best friend, Shikamaru. In fact, he cared just as much about the lazy chuunin's welfare as he did the last piece of yakinoku or chip. However, it was extremely difficult for him to be patient with Shikamaru's problems because, for the moment, they revolved mainly around a certain person who had a tendency to complicate anything that she was involved in, conscious as well as not.

It had not been unexpected, really. Chouji had known subconsciously from the start that something like this would happen. From the very moment Ino had poked her pretty little five-year-old head into grumpy little five-year-old Shikamaru's room and big pools of clear blue had met somewhat big pools of dark green-gray, fate had been sealed. He could still remember exactly how that meeting had gone, as if it were yesterday.

Chouji was elated that he had finally made a friend. Shikamaru, he repeated to himself in his mind so as not to forget it. It was, after all, a long name to remember for a little boy. Shikamaru's last name was easier to remember, on the other hand, though Chouji could not see any resemblance between his friend and a deer. He briefly entertained the idea of Shikamaru with antlers, then laughed at how ridiculous it looked.

"I'm going!" he said loudly while eagerly pulling on his sandals.

"Chouji, where are you going?" His mother appeared from the kitchen with a surprised look on her face, ladle still in hand.

"A friend invited me to his house!" Chouji exclaimed happily. "He said he would teach me a game... I think it's called 'ko' or 'no', or..."

"Do you mean 'go'?" Chouji's mother interrupted with astonishment.

"Yeah! That's it!" He looked up at his mother inquiringly. "What's the matter?"

"That's a rather odd game for youngsters like you to play..." She frowned and looked down at him. "Darling, exactly how old is this friend of yours?" she asked cautiously. "I'm glad that you made a new friend, but it might be better for you to play more with children your age."

"Shikamaru is my age," Chouji protested. "He's in my class in the Academy, and he's five, just like me!"

"Eh?" His mother nearly fell over in surprise. "Five? And he plays go? But that's an old man's game! Even your father avoids it like the plague - it's extremely time consuming and complex. Are you sure that this Shikamaru-kun knows how to play it? I don't mind you learning, it's good for strategic training, but you won't be able to understand it. What family is Shikamaru-kun from?" She looked at him curiously.

"The Nara family," Chouji answered immediately. "His name is Nara Shikamaru."

His mother was silent for a moment, then sighed heavily. "Well, that explains a lot," she said aloud to herself.

"Explains what?" Chouji wanted to know.

"The Nara family has always had unusually intelligent children. Nara Shikato must be his father. That's the only Nara family I know of from Konoha. Now that I think of it, I think that he's mentioned that his son's name is Shikamaru."

"Shikato?" A heavy voice boomed. "That lazy good-for-nothing?" Chouji's father tramped loudly down the stairs, chuckling generously.

"Tou-san!" Chouji exclaimed, surprised. "You're awake!"

"I'm glad you're friends with that young Nara," Chouji's father said with a wide smile. "His father and I are actually good friends." He laughed. "It's ironical that Shikato was also the first close friend I ever made. That Shikamaru seems to take after his father, both in laziness as well as choice of friends."

Chouji stared at his father, not quite understanding what was going on.

"Well, go on, Chouji. You'll be late if you keep standing there like that with your mouth wide open," his father said in a good-humored voice.

"Okay," he said obediently, and ran off.

"Hey," was the first thing Shikamaru uttered upon opening the door for Chouji. "My room's upstairs. Want anything to drink?"

"Uh..." Chouji stared at Shikamaru. The boy looked like he had just crawled out of bed. His dark hair was in a lopsided ponytail with strands sticking out here and there, his eyes were bleary and heavy-lidded, and his clothes were wrinkled and mussed. On one foot, he wore a dark green sock, and the other was bare. Chouji then realized that he was actually quite thirsty from the walk and nodded meekly.

"Okay, follow me, then." Shikamaru closed the door behind Chouji and waited while Chouji removed his sandals before plodding ungracefully to the kitchen with languorous steps. "What do you want?"

"Uh, water, I guess," Chouji said awkwardly. This was the first time he had ever been to a friend's house.

Shikamaru yawned as he dove his hand into the refrigerator. "I set up the go board in my room," he told Chouji, "but then I got sleepy because my mom was talking to me about troublesome adult things and took a nap."

"Oh," was all that Chouji could think of to say.

Shikamaru didn't seem to care that silence had fallen between the two of them. In fact, he looked extremely comfortable with it; so comfortable that Chouji was starting to consider taking a nap as well before seeing friends. It was obviously very therapeutic.

After Chouji finished his glass of water, they moved upstairs. Shikamaru's room was extremely bare and had a dull color scheme composed of the same green-gray of his eyes and white. The first thing that Chouji noticed was that there were a lot of big books in the small room. He have up trying to read the titles when he realized that most of the words on the covers were big ones he did not understand. Glancing at a book that lay open on the floor to the side, he realized with surprise that there were no pictures in it, and that the writing was very small and compact.

Shikamaru settled down on the floor next to his goban (the name of the strange, lined board sitting low in the middle of his room) and started to explain the rules of the game. The more he explained the rules, the more Chouji was confused. He told Shikamaru so, and was thankful that the other boy didn't mind.

"A lot of kids don't like go," Shikamaru commented. "It doesn't really matter. Do you want me to start over?"

Not really, was what was running through Chouji's mind, but he gulped it down and nodded.

Shikamaru eyed him shrewdly. "Okay, let's do something else," he said nonchalantly, in a sudden burst of benignity.

Chouji felt immensely relieved. "Why don't we play 'ninja'?" he suggested eagerly.

Shikamaru considered it. "It's troublesome, but I guess we could. We're only two people, though, so it might be boring."

"Maybe we can go outside and look for more people to play with," Chouji suggested.

"I'll play."

"Huh?" Both Chouji and Shikamaru looked around them before their eyes landed on a head of short, light blonde hair poking out from behind the doorway.

"I said I'll play," the girl repeated, almost as if they were mentally impaired. "Is it that hard to understand?" she demanded impatiently. She stepped confidently into the room.

She was pretty and a delicate-looking thing, with soft hair and large, pale blue eyes. She stood at Chouji's height, maybe even a little taller, and was neatly attired in a light, sky-blue summer dress. Pretty little pins held up her hair and a gauzy, sheer blue ribbon finished off the look. What with delicate features and rosy cheeks, she looked like a porcelain doll. The only things that set her apart from one, though, were eyes flashing with spirit and a stubborn jaw.

Shikamaru stared at her as if she were from another planet - well, frankly, to him, girls were like a foreign species altogether. "How did you get in here?" he wanted to know.

"Your mommy told me to come up here because she wants to talk to my mommy," she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "So? What are we waiting for? Let's go outside and play ninja."

"I don't want to play anymore," Shikamaru said grumpily. He pulled himself up from the floor as if with a huge burst of effort and flopped down onto his bed. "I don't like girls," he said, his voice muffled by his pillow. "They're troublesome. Go away, Girl."

Chouji didn't know what to do, so he looked back at the girl. He proceeded to be slightly alarmed by the way a vein seemed to be throbbing violently in the girl's temple.

"MY NAME IS YAMANAKO INO!" she screamed angrily in a high-pitched voice. "AND I THINK YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY STUPID!" And with that, she punched Shikamaru in the side with unexpected strength.

Shikamaru rolled off his bed and fell to the floor from the force of the punch. "Oof," he said, and lay still on the ground with a blank face.

Little Chouji was very distraught.

Chouji sweatdropped a little at the memory. That had been a memorable day. Ino had stomped off, outraged, but was dragged back in by her scandalized mother, who forced her to apologize. Shikamaru's mother then joined the fray and yelled at her son, who apologized calmly to Ino - unfortunately, she was even more angered by the fact that the lazy little boy was taking the whole business so lightly -, and then both mothers ordered Shikamaru and Ino to stay in the room to reconcile with each other while they ushered the fretting little Chouji to the kitchen to give him cookies.

According to Shikamaru later on, all he had done was sleep; a little later, Ino had woken him up, strangely pacified, to make him give her a pinky promise that they would become good friends, and then dragged him downstairs to show their mothers that they had made peace. How and why Ino had calmed down was a mystery to both Shikamaru and Chouji. Chouji had asked Ino about the matter a little while later, but Ino had looked at him with a blank face and had said that "Shikamaru is cute when he sleeps." Of course, Chouji hadn't understood what that had to do with anything, but he decided that it didn't matter and gave up on the subject entirely after a week.

Given the particular nature of Ino and Shikamaru's relationship, it had been obvious that romance would become involved somehow. One, they were both physically attractive (though it wasn't until Shikamaru had entered his mid-teens that people noticed his unique, grumpy charm). Two, they were unusually close, though they wouldn't admit it out loud. There were many other reasons, but the especially prominent one was that there was an incredible amount of sexual tension between them ever since Ino had realized that Shikamaru was male (consequently possessing certain "attributes" that she did not), and Shikamaru that Ino was growing into a woman (again, consequently possessing certain "attributes" that he did not).

Chouji remembered a time when he himself had been attracted to Ino. It wasn't that it was unnatural, but it had felt strange that he liked a girl who much resembled a nagging older sister. He had known that he had no chances, however, Ino being who she was, and that weakened the attraction somewhat. This continued until he had talked himself out of it for quite a long time. No one, not even Shikamaru, knew of this past little secret crush. It was too embarrassing, Chouji felt. And now, Shikamaru was pretty much going through the same phase as him, though much stronger in intensity. The thing about Shikamaru was that when he cared about someone: he really, really cared. It was extremely likely that it would be the same where love and attraction were concerned. It didn't seem like it, but Chouji knew that Shikamaru actually had extremely intense feelings.

Unfortunately, having intense feelings also means that when hurt, he is intensely hurt. Chouji would do everything in his power to prevent that.

The trouble is, Chouji groaned inwardly, I have no idea of how to go about doing that. Nevertheless, he was determined to meddle.

Shikamaru flopped down on his bed with a long sigh. Yawning, he reached up and tugged his hair loose. Dark hair spilled messily on the pillow as he put his head down and stared at his white-washed, dull ceiling. Slowly, he savored the feeling of relaxing muscles tensed up from a day's hard work - today, it had been a demanding mission involving a missing child at the hands of two missing-nin.

Shikamaru frowned and rubbed his eyes wearily. For some reason, his conversation with Sasuke from the day before continued to haunt him. As Shikamaru trusted his instincts, he concluded that there must have been something about the conversation which had subconsciously nagged at him. What was it, he wondered? Did it have something to do with the fact that whenever his life collided with Sasuke's, troublesome things seemed to occur? Or did it have to do with Sasuke himself and his strange behavior?

This would not do. His thoughts were in a mess, and that would only be troublesome for him. Reluctantly, he sat up and assumed his thinking position. With ease that could have only resulted from extensive practice, he soon had his mind cleared to satisfaction.

Now, to tackle the problem. Perhaps the answer lay in the dialogue. Shikamaru quickly ran over the things that had been said, which he could remember quite clearly, considering the unusual nature of the entire affair. Absently, he noted that Sasuke had betrayed that his love interest was a kunoichi, and not just some village girl.

A kunoichi. A female ninja. Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. Maybe this was the tip of the iceberg he had sensed. Sasuke had unwittingly informed him more about the girl than he had obviously intended. For example, Sasuke had let slip that she was extremely dense. No wonder he's still not a jounin, despite his abilities, he thought wryly. Well, dense kunoichi his and Sasuke's age were rare in ninja villages, considering the natural conniving nature of women in general - ninja training merely served to sharpen this trait.

One thing was for sure: whoever this girl was, she was obviously very attracted to Uchiha Sasuke, if not already in love with him like most of Konoha's female population (sadly enough, Shikamaru personally knew one or two married women who had less-than-orthodox thoughts about Sasuke). He briefly wondered with a pang if, by any chance, Sasuke had been talking about Ino. He dismissed the thought easily, however, knowing the extreme unlikeliness of the situation; after all, Ino was still very openly pursuing Sasuke, announcing left and right how much she "loooved Sasuke-kun". There was no way that Sasuke could possibly think that Ino was hesitant in her affections for him the way he had expressed this mysterious girl was. Sasuke may be slightly thick considering some matters, but he wasn't stupid.

A kunoichi who doesn't throw herself at Sasuke. There certainly weren't many of those. She might be easier to find than expected, after all, Shikamaru noted absently to himself. First, kunoichi that he knew. Hm, he thought with a frown, the only person I can think of is Hyuuga Hinata... and she likes Naruto. She also isn't dense, though people might get that impression from her retiring nature. He then briefly went over the older and younger kunoichi he knew by face and abilities, but did not know personally. Shikamaru had all the faces and names of the inhabitants of Konoha and their allies memorized on Tsunade's orders, in case of a spy in the village or some other trouble (he could still remember Tsunade's gleeful look when she had discovered through his mother what exactly he was capable of doing with his extensive memory). A few names came to mind, but Shikamaru was pretty sure that Sasuke's acquaintances did not include them. Still, it never hurt to make sure.

Shikamaru sighed. This is too troublesome, he groused mentally. I'll think about it later. He flopped back down on his bed and was ready to fall asleep when someone knocked on his room's door.

"Someone up there must hate me," Shikamaru muttered to himself. "Yes," he called out loudly, "come in."

The door creaked open, and a slightly nervous-looking Ino stepped in. Shikamaru, startled, quickly sat up. "Ino? What are you doing here?"

Ino now stood before him with the nervous look decidedly fixed on her face. "Uh, well," she said in a somewhat meek and subdued voice which made Shikamaru raise his eyebrows, "I thought maybe we could talk a little and hang out... You know, since you were gone for such a long time and all." Her jittery hands clasped and unclasped; her gaze did not quite meet his, which annoyed him more than he would ever admit.

"What's wrong with you?" Shikamaru frowned suspiciously, sitting up. "Did you do something troublesome?"

Ino scowled. "No," she snapped. "Do you always have to be like that when I'm trying to be nice?"

"You don't try to be nice unless you want something or unless you feel sorry about something," said Shikamaru pointedly.

"You make me sound like a petty, spoiled brat," Ino frowned.

Shikamaru didn't reply and gave her a sort of blank stare which conveyed the liveliness of a large pebble. An angry vein ticked momentarily at Ino's temple. "Are you trying to suggest something?" she demanded.

"I didn't say anything," Shikamaru said defensively.

Ino glared at him. "You don't need to," she retorted. "Your body language practically drips sarcasm."

"I'm not sarcastic," Shikamaru replied, looking completely serious.

"Of course not," Ino said, looking steely.

"Well, not that this conversation isn't fascinatingly lively," Shikamaru grumped, "but do you mind telling me what this little visit is all about?"

"Is it a crime to want to go see a friend?" Ino asked crossly.

"It's not exactly a common practice in the case of friends who are at odds with each other," Shikamaru reasoned with a gracious affability which belied his expression.

"We aren't at odds with each other, are we?" Ino was suddenly anxious and sincere. She moved forward to sit beside Shikamaru on the bed and reached out to clasp one of his work-roughened hands on his lap in her own. Shikamaru tensed. Ino didn't notice, and went on. "I don't want to fight with you, Shikamaru," she said softly, trying to catch his eyes with hers and suppressing the blush that threatened to bloom in her cheeks at the feeling of his warm fingers entwined with hers. "You're one of my best friends in the world. I feel really bad when we argue like this. I know you're mad at me, but I still don't know why. I want you to tell me, so we can fix things and go back to normal. It's weird, fighting like this, and I want to make peace."

Shikamaru swallowed as he looked up and saw her pleading, light blue eyes. He felt something melt inside of him as he stared. There was no possible way that he could deny Ino anything when she was like this. "I'm not mad," he said gruffly, trying to conceal his overwhelmed emotions and senses at their proximity.

Ino was so relieved at those three words that she threw herself at him in a warm embrace. Shikamaru tensed, and before he could stop himself, he blushed furiously. Because he blushed, however, he quickly put his arms around Ino as well as to keep her in the hug - common sense dictated that if she was hugging him, she would not be able to see his blush.

I'm so pathetic, Shikamaru thought with irritation. And... why does she keep hugging me like this? It does insane things to guys that I don't think she knows about! Jealously, he thought, She'd better not do this to other guys, too...

"Why are you mad at me?" Ino murmured softly into his shoulder. She unconsciously tightened her grip on the fabric of his dark shirt and turned her head slightly so she could press her face into the curve of his neck.

Shikamaru felt lightheaded and more comfortable than he did sitting on his favorite cloud-watching spot. For a while, he had an insane urge to pull down this soft, sweetly-
scented creature with him to his pillow and fall asleep as if he were holding the best teddy bear in the world.

Distantly, in the back of his mind, he noted that comparing the object of his desire to a teddy bear was most likely unforgivably unromantic.

"Forget it," he mumbled. "It doesn't matter, now." His heart beat erratically in his chest as he buried his nose into her silky hair. The moment was interrupted by the distinctive sound of fluttering wings. Shikamaru glanced up and saw a haughty-looking falcon staring at him with beady little eyes from his windowsill. Damn, he thought angrily as his eyes made out the tiny scroll attached to its right leg. I should have left my window closed.

"Hold on," he told Ino before untangling himself to go to the bird. Upon a closer view, he saw that it bored the seal of the Hokage in red - it was an urgent message. Quickly, he unfastened the scroll from its leg and rolled it open. As he scanned the lines, his face began to scrunch up. "A mission? Now?" he muttered aloud to himself.

"But you just came back!" Ino was instantly at his side. "She can't do this! You're being overworked! Shikamaru, you shouldn't let them take advantage of you like this!"

Shikamaru smiled secretly to himself. There were times when Ino sounded almost like a wife - his wife. A warm, tingling feeling sparked inside of him as he listened to her ramble on.

"Most jounins get at least a one-month-long vacation per year in addition to certain free days and gaps between missions, but so far you've only had a day here or there off! Say something to them! You should demand your rights as a citizen of Konoha!"

I probably should, Shikamaru mused briefly, then suddenly pictured a Tsunade purple with rage. Or maybe not.

"You've got to be joking." Tsunade closed her eyes as if pained. "Let me get this straight." She opened her eyes and glared at the dark-haired shinobi standing stiffly before her. "You want Naruto to be permanently teamed up with you and only you- without his knowing anything about it?"

Sasuke stared at her silently, the stubborn set of his chin giving her all the answer she needed.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," Tsunade muttered. "I can't believe I'm actually having this conversation in the first place. Honestly, Uchiha, what in the world gave you the notion that I'd ever agree to this ridiculous plan of yours?"

"I'm willing to pay money," Sasuke said bluntly.

A vein throbbed dangerously at Tsunade's temple. "Excuse me?" she barked angrily. "Do you actually think that I can be bought? I have principles, you know!"

Sasuke had the grace to look slightly sheepish. "I just said it... in case," he admitted.

Tsunade suddenly looked away with a slight pink tinge to her cheeks. "Er..." she said gruffly, "... how much?"

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up. He intently fixed his dark eyes on her. "Well," he said tentatively, "as I was bequeathed all the money of the entire Uchiha clan, I can offer a considerably generous amount. Maybe..." He discreetly held up four fingers. He wondered inwardly if it was quite legal to pass around that much money in Konoha. Oh well... she's the Hokage, after all.

Tsunade's eyes widened minutely, but otherwise showed no sign of surprise. With a tiny cough, she held up five fingers. "This much and it's a deal," she muttered.

Sasuke smirked. "Then it's a deal."

Ten minutes later, Sasuke left the Hokage tower, elated. Now, Naruto is all mine. The people who passed by him noted a new spring to his step.

Meanwhile, Tsunade stared at a simply gorgeous piece of paper with her name on it, and a number with many, many digits next to it. Should I feel guilty? she mused, then remembered how Naruto had gleefully splashed her with some of his ramen's soup earlier this morning. Never mind, she thought vengefully.

A.N. Sorry about this! I took so long to update, and it's short and not-so-eventful! Everyone was being so nice, too... T.T' Somehow, I feel like a terrible person. I'll try to make it up with the next chapter, though!