Disclaimer: I do not own anything that relates to FFVIII.
- Chapter eight: Barred Window -
Dinner that evening had gone smoothly but silently. No one had spoken a word. Rinoa had stared at her plate the entire time. Zell had studied her. The ribbon around her wrist was tied so tight that it was cutting into her flesh.
Could this girl really be the one who had killed all their friends?
'…No, never!'
He looked at Selphie, who was focussed on the ribbon while playing with her knife.
'…No, she can't have…'
But if neither of the girls was…then there was only one person left.
'What if…if it was me…' he thought.
Hastily he excused himself and ran up to his room, where he locked himself in. What if he really had been the guilty one.
He had been mad at Quistis…and the next day she was dead.
Squall was not really on his list of favourite people, wham! Dead.
And Irvine…Irvine…he remembered thinking Irvine deserved a good kick, that he should be taught a lesson.
'Maybe…it was me.' He thought.
But he'd know if it was him right?
'Maybe you wouldn't.' a little voice said. 'Not if you did it in your sleep.'
He let out a loud scream. "No! I can't!"
'I can't have…why would I…in Hyne's name, why?'
He took a few deep breaths before unlocking his door. He would have to go down and tell them. He'd have to tell them not to trust him anymore, to lock their doors, to avoid him at all cost.
Slowly he walked down the stairs and made his way towards the kitchen.
'Not again…' he though tiredly as he heard raised voices.
This house was driving them all mad.
"You…you didn't deserve him!" Selphie's voice sounded angrily.
Zell walked closer and peeked through the half open door. Rinoa was in tears.
"I didn't deserve a lot of things." She said in between sobs.
"Like what? Like getting pregnant?"
"Yes! Like getting pregnant!" Rinoa retorted angrily. "This baby will never know its father now!"
Selphie mocked her. "This baby will never know its father Oh boohoo. At least it won't ever have to know its daddy was a two-timing asshole who-"
"You don't know the half of it, Selphie. I loved Squall. He just didn't love me. He wouldn't touch me, he never would. The only one who cared for me a bit was Irvine. Oh yes, Irvine loved me, or at least pretended to. We were always so careful to keep it secret. But in the end we weren't careful enough. Because Zell found out. He saw us, he found us together. It wouldn't have lasted a secret for much longer anyway. Because it became more difficult everyday to hide our love."
Selphie became pale. "..You…Zelll, he knew…?"
"He wanted to save you from getting hurt. He told us to stop it, to tell you the truth. But we didn't."
"He didn't tell…but he tells me everything…"
"Irvine liked it this way. And I still had responsibilities and feelings for Squall, so I said no. But in the end…Irvine didn't listen. He went off to tell you when I wanted to break up with him. Did he really think I'd stay with him after he did this to me?" Rinoa carried on, pointing at her stomach.
Selphie blinked. Her hand tightened around the object she hadn't let go since dinner.
"Yes Selphie. Did you honestly think this baby was Squall's child? Hyne, no! That man wouldn't touch me if his life depended on it. No, this baby is Irvine's."
A satisfied gleam glittered in her eyes. Zell turned away, pushing himself against the wall.
"You- you…"
He could hear Selphie was at loss for words.
"You don't deserve that baby! Irvine was mine! And you took him away from me. That baby isn't supposed to exist!"
Suddenly there was a silence.
"Ungh-"
Someone was hurt.
"Ungh! I- unghh."
A coughing sound, as if someone was choking, but not quite. Zell turned pale. He stepped back from the door, trembling heavily. Something was dropped to the floor in the kitchen. A knife?
Then something heavier fell to the floor with a dull thud.
He urged his feet to move. Finally they obeyed. He vaguely noticed something falling from his pocket. But he ran, he ran out the corridor, up the stairs and back to his bedroom.
He tried to lock the door, but he couldn't find the key.
"Where is it!" he yelled. "Where is it!"
Then he remembered. He had dropped it at the kitchen door.
'Shit!'
Could he go back? Or should he hide in another bedroom?
He was halfway out the door when he realised he could not run. He could not escape, he could only postpone.
Slowly he walked back to his barred little window. Outside it was dark. His whole world was collapsing, one by one his friends had died…and now he was alone. His life was just a mere technicality. And he didn't want to continue living if there was no one to share it with anyway.
He knew she had heard him running. He knew she knew he had been there.
He shook his head. He wished it was over, that he could get it off his mind, that he could leave. But he knew he never would.
"Zelly."
He turned when she softly spoke his name.
His time was up. Here, in this room, with its little barred window, it would end.
"Zelly…I-"
"Why did you do it. Hyne…you're my little Seffie…what happened to you?"
He couldn't look at those terrified green eyes anymore. He turned away and stared outside again, one hand holding one of the bars. It was pointless to try and see anything, all he could see was darkness.
"I-"
"Did you kill Quistis?" he asked bluntly.
There was a silence, but this silence told him more than words ever could.
"…Zell, I- I did it for you. She hurt you! She was hurting you so much, I know she was. And Rinoa…it hurt Rinoa too…I just…I did it for you!"
"How can you say that?" he spat. "Don't you ever say things like that again."
Selphie stepped closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. He shook it off, shivering under her touch. It brought tears to his eyes to notice the shiver that ran down his spine. How could the touch that had once made sure his tears stopped now make him cry?
"And the others?"
Selphie stepped back. He could feel a certain coldness fill the air between them.
"Irvine…yes, I killed Irvine. It was so strange to feel his neck…break. It was so….easy."
Her voice sounded strangely distant. "Oh how I hated him for what he did to me. Hyne, I hated him. He was such a sweet guy. He charms like no one charms. He was so loving…I actually believed he loved me."
She smiled contently at her memories.
"'Hey sweetheart' 'Seffie baby' 'I love you'. I was his girl…the only girl…I think I should've seen through him, but I didn't. Does that make me naïve?"
Zell didn't answer, his grip on the bar tightened.
"I suppose it does." She continued. "When he told me…that he would be late, it trusted him. If he said he had to work, I believed him. I didn't complain. My life was pretty much all about him. Then Rinoa came…he told me he had never loved me, he told me he loved her! He told me I was nothing to him."
She took a few deep breaths and calmed herself.
"I knew he'd be sitting in the kitchen that night. He went there every night. 'Hey Seffie, not mad anymore? I knew you'd understand. Staying mad for long isn't in you.' That's what he said. He smiled at me and when I screamed he just laughed."
Her voice got angry again.
"'Calm down little lady, don't do anything you'll regret.' He asked me to massage his neck. He had cramp there, he said. My hands…around his neck…it was so easy."
She closed her eyes as she remembered. Zell felt nausea rise inside him.
"I went into the living room and found Rinoa's ribbon…such a pretty colour. It would look good. I tied it around his neck…symbolic, isn't it."
Zell shuddered as in his mind he saw everything Selphie described. He saw those petite hands wrapping around Irvine's neck and slowly…
'No!'
He shook his head.
"Selphie! Do you even know what you're saying?"
"Yes. I know." She said softly. "Irvine was so easy…so much easier than Qui-"
"Shut up! SHUT UP!"
A ringing silence came down on them, only to be broken by his own soft sobs.
"…I didn't blame Rinoa for choosing Irvine. After all, I knew what a sweet and caring man he could be. Oh yes. I actually would have forgiven her. I just blamed Irvine. How could Rinoa be to blame if Irvine was the only one who cared for her? Hyne knows Squall didn't show her any affection. Squall was to blame. Squall…the one who was the subject of Quistis' affections."
"…What did you do to Squall…did you push-"
"Oh no. No, I had nothing to do with Squall. He killed himself. Or someone else pushed him, I don't know. I just know it wasn't me."
He heard her take something from her pockets. She was rubbing a piece of cloth over it. He glanced back and saw something reflect the moonlight. Quickly he turned his head back to the window.
"Do you know how much Rinoa cried?" he managed to say.
"Rinoa…yes she cried. I truly believe she loved Squall. She was so close to believing herself the baby was his. She tried to convince herself so hard. She wouldn't have told us it was Squall's if she didn't want to believe that herself."
"Why did you kill her."
It wasn't even a real question. It sounded more like a bark.
"I could have forgiven her. I could have forgotten about her and Irvine. But not-"
She swallowed difficultly.
"…if the baby had been Squall's…but it was- She said it was his…" her voice got more forceful "It was his…His. That…child…should never have existed."
She stomped her foot on the ground. Zell closed his eyes with fright. He expected to feel a cold blade in his back, but it didn't come.
"I took away the stolen life it had. I took it from where it never should have been. But…she told me before she died."
She pocketed the cloth and stepped closer again.
"Zelly? You and me. We were friends, weren't we. Forever? I told you everything. I told you everything and I thought you did the same. Didn't I deserve that? Why did you lie to me, why did you stop trusting me. Why didn't you tell me the truth."
He felt a sudden coldness in his back. Sharp and cold. Selphie didn't remove the blade but kept her hand around the hilt.
"You lied to me, you kept secrets from me. You should've told me everything. Everything you knew. Like we always did."
Zell opened his eyes. The black sky outside seemed to turn grey. Or maybe it was him. He didn't know.
"Seffie…"
"If you had told me I would not have had to do this. All of this, I suppose. But now…Why did you have to lie to me? While I honestly trusted you with everything in my heart." She sounded sad.
"I-ungh." Zell wanted to open his mouth.
"Zell…I wished you hadn't been so secretive about it. I might even have cared for you a bit. But I don't think I can trust you anymore."
"Selphie…please…" he was having difficulty speaking. "You didn't tell me everything either…you never said a thing…about what you did…"
She twisted the blade in a sudden angry uproar.
"Would you have understood?" she hissed. "Would you have been on my side if I had told you I stole Squall's Gunblade to strike a deadly blow to an unsuspecting Quistis, just so she wouldn't hurt you anymore? No, you wouldn't have understood. And besides, how can I let you go after everything I've told you, after everything you know now? You would turn me in and I would never be able to start over again. No, I have to do this, no matter how much it makes me hurt inside."
Zell couldn't open his mouth anymore, the pain was to much. He tried to reach for the blade in his back but Selphie just twisted it once more.
He arched his back in pain and fell to his knees. He could feel his fingers touch the hilt but he could not get his hand around it. When he pulled his hand back his fingertips were covered with blood.
Selphie carefully sat down on her knees.
"You've hurt me Zell. I trusted you, I believed in you. You were there for me. But now I know it was all a lie. You broke my trust and my heart bleeds because of that. I can't trust you ever again."
She slowly pulled the knife out.
"But I still love you Zell. I'll never forget what a caring person you were, how you took care of me as a brother. That's why I'll make your pain end now."
He felt another stab. This time near his heart. He could hear her say something, but he didn't understand it. It was too far away.
The pain seared through his body, his back arched. He couldn't see anymore, everything had gone white.
He tried to utter her name. He could feel his blood soak his shirt. He could hear his heart beat.
He fell over on his face but didn't feel it anymore.
He could hear his own heartbeat.
His heartbeat
Stop.
THE END
Well folks! That was it! Yes, I know, it was all very OCC, especially this last chapter with Selphie. But it just fitted my story best.
I hope you all liked it and I hope you find it good enough to review.
Of course I can't leave this story without thanking the people who reviewed this already, and that's why I'll thank all of you who reviewed lately especially:
JadeAlmasy: Well, the karate exam was postponed because there were to little applicants for blue belt and above…so I'll have to wait till February for that… And I didn't kill Selphie! Lol. Guess she didn't turn out the way you thought, did she…I only hope I haven't offended some Selphie fans out there…anyways, I'm glad that the main thing I had intended worked: I wanted to write a story in which no reader could easily discover who the killer was and I think I've succeeded. Thank you so much for all your reviews.
Billy the Kid: I am really glad that you couldn't work out who the killer was, because I thought I'd never be able to do that. Perhaps it wasn't the best ending, but I really am glad that there were more readers out there who couldn't guess the ending. Thank you so much for all your positive reviews, they really made me smile when I read them. (A good review can make your day, that's something I'm sure about :D) I'm really happy you liked the story and I hope you still like it now that the jig is up.
Elle Leonhart: You're probably not going to read this right after I've posted it, because you're still at the second chapter, but that doesn't matter. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you liked it so far and I hope you'll like it now you've read the ending too. Thank you for your review!
Soooo…that was it for now I guess….My next fic will be a Harry Potter one called ashes to ashes, which I'm really proud of. It's just taking me a really long time getting it all typed, because I wrote it first and its 106 pages long (by hand!!!)
After that I'll post Dream Catcher, and that will be another FFVIII story, a Squalphie, so I hope to see some of you, if not all of you ;), at that story. So, it's a goodbye from me and I hope you enjoyed reading this!
-Raven55