Title: 10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter- Rule 1

Author: Me

Category: Comedy/Fluff (hopefully) :P

Pairing: Gil/Cath, Family Fic

Rating: PG

Content: Nothing bad. All very light and nice.

Summary: Rule ONE!

Spoilers: None

Archive: Sure, please let me know though so that I can tell everyone how
cool I am.

Disclaimer: Don't own nuthin :)

Feedback: Would it help if I begged?

Author's notes: Someone sent me one of those funny lists everyone gets in their emails. This one was called 10 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter. I thought they'd be fun to base around our favourite couple and their favourite child. So I used the rules and wrote a little ficlet around them. Hope you enjoy.

Copyright to Fatcat 2004

RULE ONE: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

"It's okay Gil... It's just a date."

I feel I should let Cath know that this does NOT calm me. In fact I'm breaking out into a sweat at the mere thought. My little girl...on a date...my little Lindsey Bug...out with a...boy. Her first date. Ever.

"But Cath...she's only a baby!"

I know that this is technically not true. Lindsey is in fact 15, a teenager.

"What do we know about this kid?"

I don't know anything about this kid; he could be an axe murderer. I can see Cath rolling her eyes as she tells me again who this boy is that's taking away my little girl.

"His name is Dwight..."

Dwight...snort...his parents are probably first cousins...I bet he has a pet racoon and a moonshine distillary...

"He's a year ahead of Linds and his father is a minister..."

Oh God! My hands feel clammy. He's an older man. Probably been having sex orgies for years. And don't think I don't know that when he says his father's a minister, what he's really saying is that his father is the charismatic leader of a doomsday cult out in the Nevada desert. I bet they chant...

"They met in Linds' Advanced Science class..."

See that, he takes science. He's a drug dealer. He makes drugs during Chemistry class and sells his wares behind the gym at recess. I watch 60 minutes. I know what's happening in schools. I bet he smokes crack.

"He's on the track team..."

And steroids! He's some freakishly large muscle boy.

HONK

What was that? It can't be what I think it is that's for sure.

HONK

My wife's eyes dart to the living room window and I glance out and see the headlights on a car that could only belong to my daughter's drug dealing, moonshine swilling, cultist date. I peek at Cath through my narrowed eyes as I move toward the door.

"Now Gil, settle down. I'm sure he's just nervous, that's why he didn't come to the door..."

HONK HONK

I grunt and keep moving toward the door as my little princess comes running down the stairs. She stops as she reaches the bottom and stares as I stalk across the foyer dragging her mother who's still gamely clutching my arm trying to stop me from having a nice little chat with the young man outside.

HONK

My left eye is twitching, I can feel it. Lindsey's mouth has dropped open at my behavior but at least Cath is starting to send little annoyed glares towards the front door. I gently set her aside and grasp the bronze doorknob, giving it a quick turn before yanking the door open to find a boy leaning against the frame, his fist raised in a knocking pose. I stare at him as he waves a hand that holds a small bouquet of flowers at my daughter.

"Hey, what's the hold up?"

OH. HELL. NO. No way did he just say that to my beautiful little girl. I lean forward and snatch the flowers he holds in his limp grip and before the shock has even managed to settle in I grab the door and swing it shut with enough force to rattle 'Honk Boy's' teeth.

I quickly turn to my daughter and hand her the flowers.

"You look beautiful princess..."

I hear Cath sigh and watch as she walks towards me shaking her head. I let out a breath of my own before grinning at my wife and start towards the kitchen as I hear 'Honk Boy' drive off and my family stare at me as I pass. Brass told me that to watch as your little girl goes on her very first date ever is guaranteed the hardest thing you ever do as a Dad. I don't know. That wasn't too hard really. I may even let her bring a date to her thirtieth birthday party. Maybe. I'll let Brass know on Monday that he over exaggerates. I look over my shoulder as I near the kitchen and smile when I see Cath raise an eyebrow in question. I don't know why my wife was so worried. She was terrified that something was going to go wrong. I won't rub it in though. I step through into the kitchen and, reaching for kettle, I yell over my shoulder at my two favorite girls.

"Well! As first dates go, I think that one went rather well!"

The End :)