Summary: She's a doctor's daughter under a spell of an evil queen. He's a prince with nowhere to rule and the worst luck of all. Even with the sometimes useful interference of two fairies with nothing better to do and the constant companionship of six giants, a runaway dog, and a girl who was once a fly, how will the Frog Prince and Sleeping Beauty ever hook up? Many fairy tales rolled into one silly, very mixed-up one.

THIS FAIRY TALE IS ABOUT: Curses and Kisses

THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT: Beginnings

Once upon a time, or perhaps twice, in the country called Mahaska, there was a beautiful queen named Raven Black and a handsome king named Pitch. They lived with their daughter, Princess Midnight, in a town called Kamas. Princess Midnight was jealous of Queen Raven because everyone fawned over her; Queen Raven was jealous of her daughter because she was so beautiful. King Pitch was old and dying; Queen Raven practically ran the kingdom. The family ties were more like knots.

Princess Midnight decided she was going to 'get' her mother. She had read this in a book once -- she was always reading and never actually doing things. This may have started all her problems in the first place. She tricked Raven into coming into her room and placed her dog, Prudence, right by the door. When Raven flew into Midnight's room, Prudence thought she was a prowler. Prudence jumped on Raven and attacked her. Midnight screamed, but inside, she was smiling evilly. It was all in her plan. A guard named Norbert ran to Midnight's room.

"Princess Midnight, what has happened?" cried Norbert.

Princess Midnight pretended to faint.

The guard Norbert hardly noticed the lump on the floor. In fact, he thought it was a servant. Than he looked at her clothes and her crown and cried, "The queen! The queen! The queen is . . . the queen is dead!" Norbert was on the floor with hysterics when King Pitch and Dr. Royal came into the room.

Princess Midnight thought, Perfect. Then the king saw Queen Raven, and with his 'condition,' he collapsed on the floor. Unfortunately for the princess, he fell on top of her, and knocked the air out of her. When Dr. Royal saw four people on the ground, he fainted, too. A servant named Mera, whose father was a doctor, came into the room next. Mera did not faint. She calmly checked the king, the doctor and the princess. Then she came to the queen, with Prudence at her heels.

"Prudence, Prudence, what have you done?" cried Mera. "Killed the queen, I think!" Mera was so full of anger; she almost hit Prudence over the head. Then, she looked into the poor dog's eyes. "Though, I do believe it is not your fault." She patted her head instead. "Let's see what we can do with her." For something definitely had to be done with her.

Mera was a strong girl of 19, strong enough to carry the queen to a wheelbarrow (with Prudence, once again, at her heels). She set out, with Prudence at her side, to journey through the Golden Forest, to the village of Smoke-Stack, where her father lived. By the time Mera was half-way through the Golden Forest, it grew very, very, very dark. She could hardly see. She navigated as well as she could, but ended up going away from both the castle and Smoke-Stack. Finally, she came to a large, large house she had never seen before.

If Mera had been any less sensible, she might have started to cry, sob, and wallow in self-pity. Thank goodness she was not. However, she was very cold, very lost, and very tired. She furrowed her eyebrows and thought aloud, "The house has no lights on. Everyone is asleep. I should not wake anybody (yawn) up. I think I'll (yawn) just sleep (yawn) right (yawn) here (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn)." She sat down sleepily under a large tree and Prudence snuggled beside her.

When she woke up, she was very warm. 'Oh,' she thought, 'what a wonderful dream I am having! I shall try to stay asleep for a very long time.' However, she soon felt the need to get up. She very slowly opened her eyes, and then quickly shut them again. 'I am still dreaming. . .' Mera thought, quite shocked indeed. '. . . for there are six giants in this room with me, and I am inside!'

As she lie there counting to 1009, (for her mother had always told her that if there is something bad going on around you, simply close your eyes, count to 1009 and when you open your eyes, it will be gone or stopped) (she did not, you see, get her sensibility from her mother) she heard a whimper and felt a cold nose nuzzle her hand. She peeped open her eyes and saw a yellow-furred animal with big brown eyes. "Prudence!" she whispered, loudly.

One of the six giants looked over at the bed. The giant saw Mera and beamed. Mera was rather plain. She had plain straight brown hair and a regular face, which you would never have looked at twice. Her eyes were plain brown, too. The giant promptly walked over to Mera.

"Hello, little girl. So, you are awake." The giant, who was really a giantess, sat on the bed. "I am Fa-sud-ig Wa-jif. You may call me Fa-sud. These are my brothers, Qa-ja-ci, Aifii, Sa-jawi, Da-jooa, and Wa-kod-if Wa-jif. Who are you, my little friend?" Fa-sud-ig's long blonde hair moved as she spoke and her green eyes sparkled. The giantess was very beautiful and very friendly.

"I -- I am Mera Wuos, the doctor's daughter. Where am I? Where is -- did you take -- in a wagon -- there was someone else -- very important -- in a wagon -- did you take -- did you see -- did you?" Mera was talking in this choppy way because she had never seen a giant before, and she was thoroughly freaked out. You and I would be too, I suppose, although it is highly unlikely you and I will ever know, since it is also highly unlikely we will ever meet one.

"Oh, perhaps you mean. . ." Fa-sud drew a curtain back that showed Queen Raven. ". . . your friend?"

"Oh!" cried Mera. "It is -- she is not -- I hardly know her -- not really a friend -- but in a way -- yes, a friend, I suppose -- but is she all right -- if she is not -- oh, what will happen if she is not?"

Fa-sud laughed. "My brother Qa-ja-ci is a doctor. He says she has simply fainted -- gone unconscious from shock -- and she will be all right in a few hours."

"Will she -- just fainted? That is good -- all right in a few days or so. Qa-ja-ci? Perhaps we can talk -- perhaps he knows -- do you know where the city is? Smoke-Stack, it is called -- am I still in the Golden Forest? I'm not sure how long I walked -- I don't remember hardly anything -- what is the date?"

Fa-sud laughed again. "You have a funny way of talking! Where did you say you came from, Stoke-Smack?"

"No! No, no, no, no! Not Stoke-Smack! Smoke-Stack!" cried Mera.

"Oh!" Fa-sud laughed again. "Stoke-Smack is pretty silly. Smoke-Stack sounds a lot better. I have never heard of it. I hope you are not too far from home. However, I was never very good at geography. Aifii, now he knows how to read a map! Perhaps he knows where Smoke-Stack is."

"Something curious -- why do your brothers -- they just stand there -- why don't they talk?" asked Mera. She was getting more use to the giants.

"My brothers! Why, they only speak Odaduh, the language of the giants. I am the only one who can speak your language in this house. Well, except Wa-kod-if, the youngest. He is too shy to talk to any strangers, least of all Little People. So," continued Fa-sud. "I am the only one who can talk to you." Fa-sud-ig stood and walked to her brothers. She addressed a man with brown hair and blue eyes. Mera thought he was probably Aifii. She was right.

"Aifii, pod raquem od gaw Smoke-Stack. Fa pao jessim pa lar riti pep od?" said Fa-sud.

Aifii looked very thoughtful. "Rizz. . ." he said. "Opomelo tiquiwnit pebizom pae Smoke-Stack amvi, niro famp lar og pep od op." He looked at Mera. "Op red bitu get ereu."

Mera sighed. "I wish I knew what they were saying," she whispered to Prudence. "Then I could talk to Aifii and Qa-ja-ci without troubling Fa-sud." Then she listened again. Aifii was talking.

"Odissadi og di jefe jatdi, di vaiz hip piti. . ."

Fa-sud sighed. "Pep ramp rat. Di jed ma jatdi."

"Sorry, Fa-sud, but I just don't see how we can make it work."

"'Tis no use. I cannot understand a word they say." Mera looked at Prudence. "I wish you could speak." Then, she coughed. "Cough! Cough, cough, cough! Cough!"

Aifii looked at her and called to his younger brother. "Qa-ja-ci! Does she have a fever? Are you sure she did not catch a cold?" He said in Odaduh.

"Aifii, this is normal. If she did not have a cold, I would be worried. Did you forget who the doctor is?" Qa-ja-ci asked him.

"Did you forget who found the girl?" Aifii asked.

"Did you forget who saved the woman?" Qa-ja-ci asked.

"Did you forget who is older?" Aifii asked.

"Did you forget who is smarter?" Qa-ja-ci asked.

"Did you forget who is wiser?" Aifii asked.

"Did you both forget you are adults?" Wad-kod-if asked. "Stop arguing!"

"Did you forget-" started Qa-ja-ci.

"Did you forget there is a visitor here?" cried Fa-sud-ig. "Look!" They looked over at Mera, who was shaking. For all she knew, they could be swearing and saying 'I hate you!' and 'I'll kill you!' and 'Not if I kill you first!'.

Qa-ja-ci smiled at her, and there is comfort in a giant's smile. They were not different from people, except they are so tall.

"Fa-sud, please tell our visitor we are simply – well -- simply arguing. And not very strongly, either," said Qa-ja-ci. Mera heard:

"Fa-sud, pes elorv stewori piwl – smuler un. Adin tover toggy etter."

"Mera," said Fa-sud-ig. "Qa-ja-ci says they are arguing weakly about non-important thing."

"Oh," said Mera. She already had begun to get use to the large people and their gentle ways. "Could you -- I was wondering if maybe -- that is perhaps -- if I knew -- what is it called, Odaduh? If I knew that -- maybe I could learn that -- I knew a little from my father -- perhaps I could try to talk to your brothers?"

Fa-sud nodded slowly. "You could. I will tell Qa-ja-ci." She turned to her brother. "Hato akoo."

Qa-ja-ci looked surprised but pleased. "Lih." Mera noticed Odaduh was said very shortly. She cleared her throat.

"El, Qa-ja-ci. I nesa dyua eaco. Shasire ?" She said, very slowly. She had said. "Hello, Qa-ja-ci. I understand you are a doctor. Is this true?"

Qa-ja-ci laughed for joy. "Hoa ag! Oyier or linae?" which is "Oh! How amazing! How did you learn our language?"

"Hm -- how would I put this -- My father, who was a doctor, taught it to me. He never told me it was the language of the giants! I have just realized that I knew what you were saying!" she said in Odaduh.

"Oh! That is quite amazing! Quite!" Qa-ja-ci asked. "Your father seems very intelligent. Perhaps I know him?"

"His name is Dr. Leou Wuos. Do you recognize that?"

"No, I do not. Tell me about him." So, they conversed thus.

Mera lived as one of the family for many days. She soon loved all the giants and was horrified at the thought of leaving them. Qa-ja-ci told her that Raven would probably wake up soon. He told her when they were alone that it seemed Raven had a bout with the flu and was just recovering -- that was why it took so long for her to wake up. But she was all right.

"Hurrah!" said Mera. "I am happy she is all right. She is a queen, and I am sure the whole castle is worried about her. The whole town, too. Everyone loves the queen."

"Then we are happy, too," said Da-jooa. "I hope- what did you say her name was?"

"Uh -- Raven. Queen Raven."

"If Queen Raven is as kind as you say she is, I am quite happy," Da-jooa sighed. "Will you be leaving when she wakes up?"

Mera looked at the giants. "I -- I have to. The whole castle -- the whole town is worried -- I can't stay here forever."

"No, you can't," said Sa-jawi. "But, will you visit us?"

"Oh, of course. I would miss you too much if I didn't," Mera sighed. "It feels like I've been here for the longest time."

"Yes, indeed, it does." Fa-sud looked into Mera's eyes. "Never forget us, Mera."

Then was heard a rustling noise from the other bed. "Queen Raven! Oh, is she awake?"

They all rushed about her to see. She stirred and a holler went up. "Oh, she is all right! Everything will be okay." You cannot imagine how much shock the poor queen was in as she woke up! But Fa-sud and Mera talked to her, and soon she was calm.

"Hello. I am Queen Raven, and you are. . ."

"Mera. Mera Wuos. I am a servant in the castle," Mera smiled. "Are you feeling quite well?"

"Yes, but I don't understand. . . why am I in such an ugly house? You have kidnapped me! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" yelled the queen.

"You are not kidnapped. You were almost dead when this lass here tried to help you. She got lost, and we found you. My brother healed your wounds. You are in the house of six giants. We live in the Eastern Golden Forest, near Lacunose," explained Fa-sud. "If you know where that is."

"Oh!" cried the queen, quite suddenly. "Oh, how do I know you are telling the truth? That is a long ways from the castle. That child couldn't --"

"I am 19!" interjected Mera.

"-- have gone that far! I have been kidnapped! Oh! Oh! Oh, what shall I do? How will I go home? Oh, how? How! How! Hoooooooooooooooo --"

Aifii interrupted her mid-how. "Tell her to stop screaming. We aren't all going to die," he said.

Fa-sud tried to quiet Raven down. "Please, miss, please stop yelling."

Raven screamed. "OH! I WILL DIE! I WILL DIE! I WILL DIE!"

Finally, Qa-ja-ci grasped her by the shoulders and shook her until she stopped screaming. "Sorry," he said.

Raven looked at her feet, and scowled. "What ruffians."

Mera felt rage bubbling up inside her. She had risked her own life to save her, these people had rescued her, and the first thing she does is suggest they kidnapped her, go into hysterics and call them ruffians. She exploded.

"How could you be so -- so inconsiderate! You have no right, even if you are a queen, to act like a spoiled, two-year-old, uncontrolled brat that has a tantrum every time something goes wrong! You always think the worst about everybody! Everybody thinks you are so kind, and loves you, but you do not deserve it! You are the meanest person I have ever met!"

"How dare you! You are a servant! If I fire you, what will you do?"

"My father is a doctor!"

"Oh, so it wouldn't matter if I fired you?"

"No! I do not know why I ever saved you! I hate you! I wish you had never gotten well! I hope you --" Fa-sud stopped her.

"Mera, please go gather the eggs." Mera stormed out of the room, out of the house. She stormed right into a big tree. She recognized it as the same tree she had been sitting under the first night. A fog loomed over her. The queen was mean. . . she was lost. . . no one knew where she was. . . her father was probably worried to death. . . the queen was mean! Nothing seemed right. She sobbed, sliding to the floor. What would happen to her?

Pull yourself together! The other side of herself yelled at her. Sitting around crying is not going to help! So, how could she get to Smoke-Stack? Go to. . .what was it? Lacunose. Find a map-maker. Buy a map of Mahaska, get to Smoke-Stack. How to get to Lacunose? Have Aifii take her. Would Aifii take her? Yes, he would.

What would she do with Raven? Take her back to Kamas after she got the map. Maybe King Pitch would give her some money for her troubles. She placed her hand in the patch-pocket and lifted the contents to her face. 6 koabs and 144 juis, all string money. It did not even amount to 1 qhidi. All together, it was 3,500 juis short. Could she buy a map for just 6 koabs? Yeah, right. Mera remembered a map she had bought before, it cost 6 qhidi. She placed the money back in her patch-pocket.

"If I can't buy a map, what will I do?" She thought aloud.

Suddenly, a hovering, glowing orange sphere appeared before her. She sat against the tree, absolutely still. The sphere grew larger and larger, than touched the ground. The orange sphere disappeared, and there stood a fairy!

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