DISCLAIMER: Nope. Don't own CSI. Sure, I may torture the characters, but you can't sue someone for being bored with their life and thus wanting to write about TV characters, can you now? You can? In that case, just let me get something out of my car...

I

DON'T FLY AWAY, ROMEO!

"I'm a genius!"

The excited voice of Greg Sanders, lab technician turned crime scene investigator, reverberated around the usually silent locker room.

"Did anyone ever tell you what a modest man you are, Greg?", Nick replied, rolling his eyes. However, though he would not admit it to Greg, Nick was feeling pretty excited as well. At first, he had been reluctant to aid Greg with his plan, believing he'd probably be struck by lightning before he'd see one of Greg's eccentric plans work out successfully. Nevertheless, Greg had been persistent, certain that the Texan could supply just the sort of information that would help his cause. Nick had refused on the grounds that making Greg happy would probably result in another friend flying into a murderous rage. But a recent case had changed his outlook on certain matters. And now Greg was an overly ecstatic man, having finally received the information he had desired to put his plan into motion.

Ignoring his friend's remark, Greg immediately proceeded to suggest ideas, enquiring, "What do you think about Jill being the name of my 'friend'?"

"Oh, I don't know, Greg, do you think that's subtle enough?" Nick replied, realising that it would have to be up to him to retain some sort of logic amongst these proceedings.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just that Sara and Grissom have been bugging me so much lately, and it feels so good to actually be doing something about it, you know? I mean, it's not that I hadn't noticed it while working in the lab. It broke my heart, but..."

"Your melodramatic ways bring tears to my eyes, Greg," Nick interjected, faking wiping his eyes.

"And your concern for my wellbeing is just so apparent, Nick," Greg continued. "Anyway, watching them while working on that last case, it just drove me..."

"Insane?" Nick concluded, sympathising with the usually chatty lab expert who had rendered himself speechless. The click of Greg's fingers proved his guess had been right. "I know exactly how you feel. You thought that case was bad? Imagine having to put up with them acting like that on cases for the past four years. Four, I tell you!" Nick was surprised at how agitated he himself had become.

"I don't understand, then, why hasn't anyone bothered to do anything about it"

"Perhaps because we want to keep our jobs? I don't think Grissom would be too impressed if the whole team just locked him and Sara in some enclosed area and told him he couldn't come out until the two of them participated in some kinky closet games together."

"Considering you're only mentioning that Grissom would not be impressed, I'm assuming that Sara would not object to participating in kinky closet activities?"

Nick proceeded to give Greg an evil stare, which saw the younger man edge slightly away. Sara was his friend, and whatever 'activities' she decided to get up to in her spare time, he didn't want to know.

"Ok, ok, I guess I'll just have to find another woman," Greg replied with a dreamy look on his face, much to Nick's disgust.

"Really, Greg, I don't want to know. GREG! A NAME!"

Greg snapped out of his daydream.

"Right. Well, um, how about Julie? Come to think of it, I do know a Julie that would be into our plan."

Nick breathed a sigh of relief, finally satisfied with Greg's suggestion. Now all they had to do was put the plan in motion and keep a straight face while it unfolded.

"So... do you think it will work?" Greg asked, seemingly having a brief lapse from the marvels of his ingenuity. "You don't think she'll suspect anything, do you?"

Before Nick could answer, Sara appeared in the doorway, intrigued by the men's conversation. She could sense something was going on, though that was hardly surprising considering she was standing before Greg and Nick. Observing the drop of Greg's eyes to the floor and a gulp in Nick's throat, she also sensed that whatever they were talking about had something to do with her. "Who's supposed to be suspecting something, boys?"

Nick and Greg turned to look at each other, a mutual "here it goes, there's no turning back" passing between them.

Clearing his throat, Greg started, "Well, you see, Sara, we have this plan..."

I

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do know where I'm going with this story, but I won't be able to update very often until mid-November, as that's when my exams finish. So please be patient, and you'll find out more about the plan. In the meantime, please review :)