Into your Bed-A Lament to Frodo

Author's Note: I'm sorry guys...I just can't help myself...BAD Lucie, BAD, BAD Lucie...

Eh, what the fuck, it's done now ;)

ENJOY!!!!

Lay down,
Your sweaty, hairy head.
You are falling,
Off a cliff-your life will end.

Rub now,
And come how you came before
Gandalf's calling,
He wants to look at your porn

Look how you weep,
Your wimpish, hobbity face.
Soon you will see,
Sam does not swing that way.

In Gandalf's arms
Where's your erection?

Why can't you see,
O stupid Frodo?
Gandalf and you don't go?

In Gandalf's pants,

Something starts rising.
He only wants, to suck at your toes.

And Sam will turn, behind your back.
He'll talk about you,
If you get in Gandalf's sack.

Frodo,
Don't sleep with him tonight.

Don't let him rape you,
Kick back with your legs and fight.

Don't say
You and Sam weren't meant to be.
Soon Rosie will die,
You and Sam will shag again.

And you'll be there in his arms
Just sleeping.

Why can't you see,
Sam is your soulmate?
Tell Gandalf where to go.

Then he will see,
He cannot have you.
Samwise has come
To carry you home.

And Sam will turn, and stroke your head,
He'll smile at you, and take you to bed,
Into your bed.