Chapter 8

Operation: Gold Saucer Rescue!

(I do not own Final Fantasy or any of its characters.)

(If you remember, in Chapter 6, Yuffie, Cloud, Cait Sith, and Barret went in the Gold Saucer in the hopes to find Aeris and Tifa, captured by the mysterious 'D'. Hojo, on board the Highwind with Vincent, Cid, and Red XIII, stole the Highwind and flew away…)

Commander Yuffie and Privates Cloud, Barret, and Cait Sith run up to the entry of the Gold Saucer. The privates form a line, shoulder to shoulder, and Yuffie shows a lifetime pass to the man in a Chocobo suit at the door.

"Enjoy your stay at the Gold Saucer!" The man waves, losing balance and falling on his bottom.

"TROOPS… MARCH!" Yuffie raises one hand, pivots around, and marches inside.

"Permission to speak, ma'am!" Cloud shouts, saluting.

"PERMISSION GRANTED, PRIVATE!" Yuffie faces him.

"I suggest that we go to the Battle Coliseum first, ma'am!"

"THEN WE'LL GO! COME ON YOU LAZY CHOPS! WE HAVE TWO PRIVATES TO RESCUE TODAY, AND WE WON'T FAIL, NOT ON MY WATCH!" Everyone follows Yuffie as she hops through a pipe.

Appearing at the Coliseum, they rush into the museum, finding it empty.

"Err!" Yuffie stomps the ground in frustration. "DIO! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Dio?" A muscular man wearing a green toga walks in. "I'm Himcules, and I saw where Dio went."

"HERCOOLEEES! YOU'S A GURL OR A GUY WEARIN' A DRESS! HAHAHAA!" Barret laughs with glee.

"HIMcules, not that sissy HERcules!" Himcules tries to keep calm, smoothing the wrinkles in his toga. Fingering his long blonde hair, he challenges the group. "…I'll tell you where Dio is if you beat me in a battle.

"Deal!" Yuffie looks at Dio, eyeing him and his odd clothes hard. "Cloud, you're up first!"

Cloud grins, trying to incorporate some bravado, but only succeeding in looking like a kindergartener with year old candy in hand. He also tries to sound cool by issuing a threat, and Cloud also fails at that.

"You think you're man enough to face me?"

Himcules smiles. "I'm not a wussy with my head up in the clouds, then again, I don't have a chocobo's ass on my head!"

Yuffie quietly says to Barret, "Not bad… though I've seen better insults. WAY better."

Himcules, with an array of bracelets and necklaces that serve as odd weapons, lunges at Cloud, grinning mischievously. Cloud lunges back to meet him, everyone else standing at the door of the small room as the fight unrolls.

Cloud dodges the initial attack, going past Himcules and slicing at him with his Nail Bat, but fails to avoid a chain of beads wrapping around his neck and choking him. His eyes bulge out and he makes odd chocking noises. As he writhes on the floor like a slug, he kicks the forgotten Nail Bat, which digs itself deep inside Himcules' leg.

Himcules squeals in more pain, blood flowing from his light gash and onto Cloud's blade below, and he lets go of the chain. After freeing himself from the girly beads of cootie doom, Cloud uses his only weapon left – his Chocobo ass hair – impaling it in Himcules' chest.

Himcules gasps, falling to the floor. "Mommy…" He whimpers. "Okay, okay, you win! Dio is at the Haunted Hotel! But don't tell my big bro about this… Hercules has his make-up sources!"

Yuffie looks at the tom girl with more that a little disgust in her eyes. She looks at the guys, all of whom are talking about motorcycles (having forgotten the dying Himcules), and decides that secrecy is essential for this mission, not stupidity. And there's only one thief good at secrecy…

Determination for freeing her friends in her mind, Yuffie races into the portal to the Haunted Hotel, oblivious to all around her. Something doesn't feel right, a heightened sixth sense, but she approaches the hotel. Opening the door, she walks into the lobby. –Something's not right…- Upon further looking, she discovers that there are no employees behind the counter, no sound effects, …no game-play music.

Then it starts. Trail of Blood by Nobu Umatsu(?). The music that plays when people's carcass litter a building, blood trailing on the ground and smeared on the walls.

Yuffie turns back to leave, but then remembers Aeris and Tifa, and how they might be suffering under their captors. For the first time in her life, Yuffie commits a noble act, walking up the stairs and to the next level. Her guess is right. Blood smears the walls and trails the ground, but what Yuffie isn't prepared for are the mutilated corpses. Nausea overcoming her, Yuffie falls to her knees, hands clutching her chest, and she heaves.

Wiping the vomit from her mouth, Yuffie decides she must try to save her comrades, if it's not too late.

"Dammit… why am I doing this? I could just run away, escape, and live… No! I'm not going to run away from this! I'm going to be brave, prove myself! …And enough of the pep-talk-to-self – I have to get going!"

Yuffie gets up, the stench of dead bodies filling her nostrils, and she holds back the urge to throw up nothing – for everything that was in her stomach is on the floor.

Walking past the bedrooms that they once stayed in, before Aeris died and was then brought back to life, Yuffie tries to block out the blood, proceeding to the next level. At the end of the hallway, she finds a recognizable body.

"Dio…" She runs up to him, and finds him barely alive. "Dio! Where are Aeris and Tifa!"

Dio looks at her weakly, having been stabbed more than 30 times. "…You're …Yuffie. Haven't seen you in weeks. …Haven't seen Aeris… or Tifa… either. A tall black man killed me… his man is in Midgar…"

Yuffie looks at Dio, sensing that time is slipping away. "Dio, who is the man in Midgar?"

"…His name? It… it's D-" Dio shudders, gasps, and dies.

Yes. I just pulled off a clichéd character-dies-before-revealing-plot-information… sorry.

Yuffie hears a footstep behind her, and she whirls around, whipping out her Shuriken, only to face Vincent.

"Vincent! W…what are you doing here? I thought you were on the Highwind!"

Vincent walks up. "Hojo tried to steal the Highwind. I brought the Highwind back and came to help find Aeris and Tifa."

Yuffie grits her teeth. "So Hojo was just using us for the Highwind! Where is he now!"

"Bound up and gagged in the bathroom. Cid's on board incase he escapes."

Yuffie looks at Vincent in disbelief. "Why didn't you leave Red XIII on board!"

"Because Vincent is drunk."

"Oh….Well, Dio died. He said a 'tall black man' killed hijm, and that 'his man is in Midgar'. He didn't have the time to tell me who the man is, but his name also starts with a D."

Vincent closes his eyes – whether the news is new to him or not, Yuffie can't tell. "Well, it seems we head back to Midgar, source of all problems."

Yuffie nods. Suddenly, she realizes that they are standing at a window overlooking the cemetery. She also sees Cait Sith, Cloud, and Barret trying to spy on them from the ground. "H…HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING DOWN THERE?"

Barret whoops with glee. "YOU AND VEENCEENT AR GOIN' OUT, LAHK BOYFREEN AND GURLFREEN! HEEHEEHEE! YOUFFIE AN' VEENCEENT, SEETING EN A TWEE! KAY-AH-ESS-ESS-AH-"

"SHUTUP!" Yuffie shoves Vincent out of the window in her rash anger. As he falls out, his and her clothes get tangled together, and Yuffie is pulled out too. Managing to free herself, Yuffie puts herself over Vincent, clinging to his cape. "Can't you turn into a bat and land us safely!"

"I can't turn into a ba-" Vincent doesn't finish his sentence (as per usual), because at that moment, he slams into Cait Sith. With Cait Sith's amazing Moog-doll powers, Vincent and Yuffie are launched into the air, similar to a trampoline. They crash with a much softer thud than had Cait Sith not been there.

Yuffie scrambles up, 'accidentally' kicking Vincent's leg. "Hmph! We're going to Midgar everyone! Dio wasn't the kidnapper! …And I'm NOT dating Vincent!"

The guys leave Yuffie alone, instead giggling behind her back as they all retreat to the ship. Vincent sighs. Life as usual.