AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?

A Fanfiction Story by CranberryIce88

Author's note: Am I J.K. Rowling? No, I'm CranberryIce88...there for these are not my characters, nor would I risk being sued off my ass to claim that they were.

Luna quickly snapped back to reality as she heard a loud crash on the floor beneath her. She looked only to find a pile of books and Quibbler subscriptions scattered on the rug. Once again, she had fallen asleep at work. Her next client wasn't due in till 4:30. In fact, her next client was Mr.Malfoy. At the thought of another session with him, she gritted her teeth determined to make him talk this time. She would not tolerate another silent session; she frankly was not in the mood. She could be doing much better things with her time, for example: the crossword in the Daily Prophet.

Time ticked by and Luna amused herself by watching the second hand's robotic movement as it slid across the clock. Its soft ticking kept her mesmerized, as her thoughts trialed off once again. They spiraled into a sea of nothingness, and soon after into bottomless pits of questioning. Harry's name rung consistently and her heart told her that things were gone amiss. But being foolish, she wasn't in the mood to jeopardize her happiness. It was at least quarter to five, and Malfoy was tardy. Not that she had bothered calling to remind him he had an appointment. Luna yawned lazily and tapped her foot to the clock beat.

Eventually, ten minutes after five, Draco strolled in as if she hadn't been waiting 40 minutes for him. "Good evening, Mr. Malfoy" Luna said, attempting to give the crude man a smile. Even if she didn't particularly like her patients, she had to be kind to them. That was the downside of having a paying job. Malfoy nodded curtly, and sat down in the cushioned leather seat opposite the desk. "So how are you?"

"I'm just fine." Malfoy said, dismissively. Luna eyed him over trying to read into his eyes and learn more about him from the way he was posturing himself. "Will you stop checking me out, Lovegood?"

Luna hid her disgusted smirk and look up at him innocently, clipboard in hand. "And how does that make you feel, Mr.Malfoy?" Malfoy, expecting a defensive response of denial, did not have anything quick to say. He looked stupid, stuttering for words. He eventually chose not to speak. "Well Draco, do anything fun today?"

"If this is your pathetic attempt to make me talk, then I'm afraid you'll have to try harder." Draco drawled, as his gray eyes narrowed on her.

Running to the cabinet, Luna grabbed a vial from the counter and waved it violently in his face. "It's a truth potion! If you don't fucking talk, then I'll make you. You heard?" Said Luna, resisting the urge to breakdown laughing. Threatening Malfoy was against her practice, but too funny to pass up. Malfoy was generally shocked by the outburst. "You wouldn't dare."

"I'm not a woman of empty threats, Mr.Malfoy. Let's get talking now shall we?" She placed the truth potion on the desk and sat across from him, trying not to become frustrated. She could do it. "So, what is your opinion on the Authority that brought you hear. Fudge is a giant oaf if I ever saw one myself. . ."

Draco gave a wicked smirk and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, he is. How do you feel about that? What kind of qualities do you dislike in Mr.Fudge?"

"Ma-Mr.Malfoy. I am not here to play childish games with you. Now will you grow up and just. . .I don't know, cooperate?" Luna shot back, as she took a big gulp of the Cider on the small table next to the lamp. "Now" she said, much more calmly "I bet you're feeling you've been treated quite unfairly, having being forced to attend therapy and all."

"And you must feel you've been treated unjustly as well. How do you feel about the pay cuts at Healing Wands? Surely they mustn't be good for your standard living arrangements. . ." Malfoy was now smirking more devilishly then before, and it was annoying. HE was an annoying, immature excuse for a properly grown wizard.

"I" Luna stated, finally "Am the therapist here. Which means you don't get to ask me questions. Is that –"

"Now....I see you're getting tense. Breathe in. Breath out." Malfoy said in a wickedly calm, yet sarcastic manner. "Release those anger-pixies, and tell me what's on your mind."

"La....La....La....Do...Re...Me....Fa...." Luna decided that putting up with his rubbish was out of the question. So she figured she might as well sing a little bit. "So....La....Ti....Do!"

"Will you quit that singing? Merlin, Lovegood, take some lessons!" Malfoy snarled.

"Well then if you can do it better, I'd like to see you try." Luna said, anxious to hear him sing. She was getting nowhere productive in this session. If she couldn't counsel him she might as well challenge him in attempts at personal humiliation.

"A Malfoy needs to prove nothing."

Luna stared off at the clock again, completely bummed that there was a huge amount of time left in their therapy session and it had gotten nowhere but silly games. Knowing it might bug him extensively she decided to remain silent, stopping to yawn on occasion. He eventually decided to break the silence. "Lovegood, you're supposed to be helping me. I'm still a very troubled person. Would you mind doing your job a little bit better?"

"If you haven't noticed Mr.Malfoy, I don't care if you're cured of your troubles or not."

"Well that's highly unprofessional of you, I might have to put in a complaint to - "

"- Go for it. I don't like this office anyway. Now look here, Draco . . . "

"You called me Draco?" Replied Malfoy, who was slightly confused.

"Great, you're observant. I'll take a mental note of that." Replied Luna sarcastically "Back to what I was saying. Look, I'm trying to do my job and that's stressful. Can you please try and cooperate with me?"

"Ah...Stress. I see we are getting somewhere Ms.Lovegood. And what kind of stresses are you feeling? Have you tried masturbation. . ."

"Mr.Malfoy! You're such a pig!"

Malfoy was now laughing, a genuine laugh. She had never heard him laugh before, and never wanted to again. It was a low sinister chuckle. Taking another swig of her glass of Cider, she turned to Draco who had suppressed his giggles and now remained very stately. Not wanting to upset herself at the sight of his smug face, she turned and studied the various objects on her desk. The vial of Truth Potion, the cider, the spell books and all of the glitter-quills she picked up from Diagon Alley last weekend. Malfoy gazed at her unblinkingly, purposely trying to disturb her observances. He reached out onto the desk and began to doodle his name in fancy calligraphy with the blue glitter-quill. "Leave the quills alone." Draco, however, pretended he didn't hear her, so she grabbed the quill from his hand and placed it in front of her. "Good boy" she said, mockingly patting his soft silvery hair.

Draco just sneered, disgusted that she dared to lay a hand on him. Luna smiled. They remained in a mutual silence until the crack of a Wiz-com was heard on the opposite table. (a/n: Wiz-com is a wizarding version of what a telephone would be, but magically operated. Owls were still popular with the public, but many businesses of the time adapted to the Wiz-coms) Luna, glad to have a break from the silence jumped at once to the phone. Plus, maybe it was Harry. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this the office of a Mrs. Luna Lovegood?"

"Yes." she replied, curious as to who the woman on the other line could be.

"I am Doris McKensie, of Quiddich Supplies Incorporated. I was wondering if I could interest you in a brochure regarding the new state of the art MilkyWay800 Broomstick series?"

"No thank you." She clapped her hands and the Wiz-com turned itself off. She definitely had to speak with the office. EVERYTIME she puts in a request on having Wiz-marketers blocked, they do nothing about it. Why couldn't Harry call? He was supposed to contact the office when he got home. . .Maybe he wasn't home yet. Maybe he was on the case of another ex-death-eater. He was such a marvelous Auror. Luna looked even more downcast when she saw that Draco Malfoy was still sitting across from her desk. He looked particularly happy. She didn't care to find out why.

Her desk looked slightly ajar, the vial and drink was out of place and the quills were strewn about in many directions. Malfoy was playing with the glitter-quills again, how mature. Trying to kill time she chugged the last of the Cider and placed the empty cup down on the table. It tasted weird, maybe it had just gotten warm. Her mind suddenly felt clearer, and she almost completely forgot that she was irritated at Draco. "So, where were we?"

"We were talking about how you were feeling today. Tell me, how is your relationship with" he paused for a moment to put emphasis on the name "Harry Potter?"

Luna barely stopped to think "Harry and I, we're in love. Well I'm in love. Lately he's been acting strange, and I convince myself he's not cheating. But how would I know. Maybe Harry likes to experiment personally with female perfumes, and maybe I shouldn't doubt him. Harry and I are meant to be, and the sex is great."

"Tell me more about the sex. . ." Draco said, now extremely anxious to hear his psychologist's response. His elbow shifted several spell books on the desk, as his eyes widened. Luna seemed to take more interest on Draco's question then on what Draco had been up to, or was currently up to. "Ah, the sex. . .After wizarding chess he'd bring me over to the couch and tackle me, tying my hands behind my back, because he liked control. I'd try to break free of course, but he's strong you know, since he beat The Dark Lord. He's a very strong wizard, and a great Auror."

Luna paused, and Draco (who seemed sick at the thought of multiple positive thoughts about Harry) took advantage of the silence. "So what do you truthfully think of Draco Lucius Malfoy?"

"He's not bad on the eyes, until he opens his mouth. That arrogant scum. He got no better, and no more mature then he was in Hogwarts. . .I can't stand him. Sometimes I want to take that nasty drape that hangs on the office wall and strangle him. But of course I can't do that because I'd get fired. Not that I like this place much anyway. . ."

Draco, was tired of hearing bad things about him. Luna really didn't think about anything he'd particularly enjoy. (With exception of the whole sex-thing. Wouldn't every male?) "Does Harry Potter have a small Penis?"

Luna remained slightly dazed for a second, until her eyes slowly started to return to un-dilated state, and her voice calmed down from talking so fast. "WHAT? Now that's an inappropriate question Mr.Malfoy. . .What gave you the idea that I would answer something like that?"

Malfoy, deciding he'd dance in the glory of his practical joke, dangled the Truth Potion in front of her face. "Because you already answered three of my other personal questions. I was dying to know if Potter was...satisfactory."

"Right, I can see why that information would be relevant to you." She snorted, and it wasn't till about 5 seconds later when she laughed nervously. Her laugh was cute, it was kind of bubbly, and fit her personality nicely. "Wait... Oh dear." In a ditzy frenzy she realized what Malfoy had done, and how extremely angry she had become with him over the past 2 seconds. How could she have been so stupid to have left her Cider AND The truth potion within Malfoy's reach! Stupidly, and fortunatley Draco apparently didn't have enough time to put the correct amount of drops into the cider, for the effect was brief. Luna was thankful.

Huffily she gently lifted her dark purple velvet robes she made herself, and floated over to where Malfoy was sitting. She grabbed him by the collar, in a random rage and brought his face close to hers. "I will not tolerate that kind of disrespect, Draco Malfoy. Maybe in Hogwarts, but not now. Now sit down, as I contemplate a way to seek revenge."

"You can't do that. It's absurd, it was a joke, Lovegood."

"Ms.Lovegood." Luna corrected as she let go of his collar and sat back in her seat, trying to refrain from appearing embarrassed. "Now silence yourself, I don't want to hear any more."

Luckily there was about 15 minutes left to endure, and they were not happy ones. Luna kept trying to avoid the nasty smirk plastered on Malfoy's mug, and time was certainly not cooperating. Minutes dragged on as if they were programmed to do so. Tick Tock. . .Tick Tock. . .Oh how she'd love to Avada Kedavra that stupid clock right now. Sadly, she wasn't skilled in the art of the Unforgivable Curses. Luna eventually concentrated on the extensive pattern of the desktop wood grain, until she heard Malfoy's unpleasant voice echoing in the quiet room "I'm going home now, Lovegood. Thanks for the. . ." Cough "Therapy."

"Bye." Luna said, without looking up. "Hum. . .This is interesting wood grain" she muttered to herself, as she continued her study of it. Soon she'd pack up. . . just another 5 minutes.

5 MINUTES LATER

Luna apparated into the woods near her house, like always. She enjoyed this cycle. Harry had not contacted her, so she had rightfully assumed he was out working. Maybe she'd make a cake tonight for him, he loves Pumpkin spice cake. Luna could even Handpick the pumpkin. Mr.Lovegood was very fond of gardening and often came to visit his daughter (leaving behind several planted substances like the pumpkins in their patch near the bedroom window). Happily she floated over to the patch and began to pluck the pumpkin. "Ugh!" she cried, as she tore it from its vine. "Oooooh, baby". Luna looked up, she was quite sure that voice didn't come from her. . .Surely she couldn't have been that unnoticeably aroused from gathering pumpkins. She heard it again, a loud moaning sound. It was coming from the window. Peeking her curly blond head to see through the window, she saw that a cake would certainly not be required tonight. There was Harry, living her worst nightmare. He was working the Potter magic on some unidentifiable woman in HER bed. That was revolting and disgusting.

Angrily, she threw the pumpkin against the side of the house. Its innards crashed and stained the wood and the seeds splattered the glass window. She didn't care if Harry heard. This had to be dealt with, and now. Luna ran into the house and stormed into the bedroom, her pale face flushed with fury. "What's going on here, Darling?" she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice "You didn't tell me we were having a dinner guest tonight."

"Luna! It's not what it looks like."

"Please, Harry. That's so cliché. If you're going to lie to my face, I expect something original." Luna was furious but determined to keep her cool. She loved Harry, and Harry loved her. Her eyes finally came to rest upon the woman he was "sharing a special moment with" . Her hair was black as night and her lips were pale. She had dark blue eyes, and a curvy body. On the floor lay her belongings, her high black boots and short miniskirt. It was rather skimpy. She reckoned she never seen the woman before. "Aren't you going to Introduce me to your charming friend?"

"No, I'm not. She was just leaving. Come on, Candie" Harry curtly grabbed the arm of the woman and escorted her to the door, not even giving her a peck on the cheek. From what Luna could tell, he showed no signs of being in love with the girl. After Candie had left Harry came sulking into the bedroom like a sad dog. Luna refused to look at him.

"What street corner did you pick her up on Harry?"

Harry was flushed with embarrassment. Wouldn't any committed boyfriend be embarrassed if he was caught bringing home a prostitute? The famously slick Mr. Potter was at a loss for words, and apparently so was Luna. Her eyes were teary but she didn't want to let him see her cry. She ran a hand through her soft blonde hair and paced around the bedroom throwing the sheets off the bed. "Burn these." She went to the pillows "These too." Finally her eyes fixated on Harry "How long have you been paying this woman, Harry? I wouldn't expect if from you. . ."

"She just gives me something you don't. . ."

"What would that be, a sexually transmitted disease! Harry, I thought you loved me –"

Harry tried once again to redeem himself. "I do love you Luna. It's just that there's something so seductive about her and She's just got something that I'm looking for, an amazing sexual prowess."

"I love how you're making the situation better for yourself. You know what, you sleep in the house tonight, I think I'll go dance naked in some ritzy part of town and find myself a nice Gigolo, how's that? I mean if you could do it Harry, then surely I could –"

Luna squirmed uncomfortably as Harry grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, trying to kiss her. "What are you doing? You just cheated on me!" She broke away, tears now streaming down her eyes. Luna Lovegood was perfect, Luna Lovegood had everything and was everything. Now she was nothing.

Shot of all confidence she fled out the door and ran nowhere in particular. Quickly she apparated to her office and collapsed in her leather chair. She'd just stay here until the morning. Sleep didn't come quickly however, it wasn't until many hours of tossing and turning did she fall asleep. And when she did, her dreams were tormented. And from the bottom of her heart she hoped Harry had a really awful sleep as well. I guess this is what I get for believing in Love, Luna thought as her eyelids finally closed shut.

Leave them Reviews xX

Thanks kiddies. I'll try and update quicker next time.

Yes, i realize Harry cheating may be a lil OoC, but i'm sure other Anti-Harry readers out there will agree w/me that by now all the fame will have gotten to his head, and his ego will be large and he would be capable of such things. And if not, then kiss my ass, damnit because i want Harry to be slimy in my story. NOW you can leave those reviews.

(Are the others in character? Is Draco too immature? Is Luna too sarcastic? Is this author's note too long?) I look forward to constructive comments from you all. Mwuah.

XoX

CranberryIce88