Author's Notes: Biggest apologies to you all! Months since my last update! I'm so sorry! I have some stories that are almost a year in wait of an update. I feel terrible about that. But things haven't been all cake and cookies for me lately, so I just took a break from fan fiction and went directly to original stories and poetry to release my frustrations. But truly… I am amazed. I have 94 reviews, and only 5 chapters. That means I received 50+ reviews since my last chapter. Do you have any idea how good that makes me feel? I'm dedicating this chapter to Terra, who, quite frankly, whipped me into shape and made me update. Also, to a reviewer named Jamie, I'm dedicating this one to you as well. You decided to tell me about all my typos, which means a lot. I actually went and re-read all my chapters and saw the typos myself. That's what happens when you type things up on Wordpad instead of Microsoft Word. Thanks for telling me!

Blade of Secrets

Chapter 6- Dulling Secrets

It was obvious to Starfire that when she mediated, she was in danger of revealing her secret. Meditation placed you in a semi-comatose state of comfort, leaving her mind extremely vulnerable to the prying eyes of those around her… or just the prying mind of Raven, who was sitting inconspicuously beside her, innocently spreading her aura across the room. After her confrontation with Robin, Starfire had begun meditating more often; it relieved the stress and fears she had about the situation. She was searching for answers through this calming outlet; they had yet to come to her.

He knew now. She couldn't hide her secret from Robin anymore. He understood and knew what she was doing, and had seen what she was destroying herself with; a small, insignificant razor blade, about an inch long and inconceivably thin. If anyone, the last person she had wanted to know about this was Robin. He was the first, and he was the only person who knew what she was doing. It hurt Starfire to realize she could never tell him why; she no longer had an excuse, other than it was habit.

Robin would not accept that answer.

Starfire's face contorted with her jumbled thoughts; she was losing her concentration on calming herself, and it was leaving her unstable. It took so long to get used to meditation, and she was not going to make her progress seem to be in vain by screwing up now. The only thing Starfire wished she knew how to do was block out all invading, foreign minds that tried to pry into her abyss of secrecy.

She knew that was the reason why Raven still allowed her to meditate with her. She was digging deep into the forgotten, blood covered memories shoved away in the dark corners of Starfire's mind, looking for a clue to the sudden mood deterioration she was exhibiting. The concern was almost suffocating, and even Starfire didn't understand why she still sat there, allowing herself to be open around Raven. Something about meditating with her made the entire process simpler than meditation alone.

"Why, Starfire?"

'Raven… why are you talking to me in my mind?'

"Consideration. I know you don't want the rest of the team to know what you're hiding."

'I have nothing to hide.'

"Why are you lying to me? I can see all those thoughts you try to hide. I'm inside your mind, feeling what you feel. It's pointless to try and edge your way out by disguising what you're feeling. I know what your feeling."

'Friend Raven… I have no reason…'

"Starfire, you're unhappy with yourself and the retreat you've started using. What form of self mutilation are you using?"

'I… I'm not doing…'

"I'm not going to make you tell me. I can find out on my own."

'Why does it matter so?'

"You're my friend. And although I'm usually sarcastic about these situations, you've been worrying me lately."

'I am sorry for that, but you truly have no reason to suffer the worrying of me.'

"I'm not suffering, I'm concerned. Now are you going to tell me?"

'I will reassure you, friend Raven, that I am better. I am getting… better.'

"And that response was unenthusiastic. Do you really want to make Robin suffer like he is over all this?"

'Robin is… suffering?'

"How would you like to make the decision between protecting your safety or protecting you from yourself?"

'I do not wish to continue this conversation.'

Starfire allowed herself to come back from the deep trance she was within; Raven knew what was happening. There was a burning rage within Starfire. Robin had told someone else, and had given away her secret, spread the word of her inability to remain emotionally sane; the one person she had trusted had just betrayed any inclination of loyalty Starfire had ever believed he had for her. Robin was supposed to be her best friend; he was supposed to respect her wishes…

'Is it really that bad that he needed to tell someone else…?'

The punching bag swung on its ceiling hinge, recoiling from a tremendous attack, and then swinging back for the rest of the ferocious punches. The fabric and stuffing folded, molding around the fist intent on doing damage. That was the only thing frustrating Robin; punching bags couldn't react to the pain with the grunts he wanted to hear. Something had to hurt as much as he was inside right now.

Slade had not been spotted in almost a week. Terra was still recovering.

He hadn't spoken to Starfire in days…

Swinging around, his foot connected with the bag, sending it flying from the broken hooking hinge and into the wall across the training hall. It didn't make any sense to him; Starfire was always happy, always bubbly and full of emotions. How could she be feeling that helpless and lonely?

His initial thought had been that it was some strange Tamaranian custom that no one on earth would ever comprehend, but he had dismissed that almost as soon as he'd thought of it. Had it been something Starfire saw no evil in, she would be performing the vile acts in the open and without the guilt he had saw interlaced in her face when he pointed the razor out. By this time, Robin was running out of optimistic ideas.

With all his worry over Starfire, he hadn't had the time to focus on his usual mad dash in search of Slade. He couldn't deny any longer what meant more to him; Starfire would always outweigh Slade. In the middle of a madman's plot to overtake the city (and eventually the world), should Starfire need him, he would put everything else on hold and race to her. Truthfully, that frightened Robin more than anything else. More than Starfire's cutting or Slade's ability to destroy or Raven's strange past and destiny to destroy the world, more than Terra's uncontrollable powers or Beast Boy's primal beast or Cyborg leaving the team, Robin feared his unnaturally volcanic emotions for Starfire.

It was his one true weakness—one that was publicly known, although denied.

Slade knew it was his weakness.

Was that why he was targeting Starfire?

"Robin!"

Stopping his brooding, Robin turned to see Starfire standing in the doorway, fuming with anger. Robin had seen Starfire smile, he'd seen her cry… but he had never seen her furious. Her small eyebrows furrowed down closer to her eyes and to a point above her nose, her eyes giving off a death glare. Her skin had turned pink in what could be confused for a blush instead of heated frustration. Starfire stomped toward him, her hands fisted together, slowly clenching and unclenching to try to calm her down.

"How could you tell someone else?" she cried.

Robin was confused. "Tell who what?"

"What you saw the other day, in my room, when Slade first appeared. How many of our friends did you tell?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I haven't said anything to anyone." Robin defended. "I wouldn't do that to you. I'm not even sure if what I saw was real yet."

Starfire calmed down a bit. "Then why did Raven… um… ask me the questions of interrogation on the subject?"

"Raven asked you…?" Robin shook his head. "She's noticed something with you, I asked her to keep an eye on you for me. I didn't tell her what I saw."

"Noticed what about me, Robin?"

"Star, you can try as hard as you want… but Raven can sense the slightest changed in your emotional structure, especially when you meditate with her. Do you remember when you two switched bodies for a day because of those puppets that were sent here? She knows you inside and out now. She will sense when something is wrong."

"I don't want anyone to sense anything being 'wrong' with me. Nothing is wrong with me. I am not broken. I am not wrong." Starfire defended. "Robin… I wish you to please forget what you saw last week. We are a team, but sometimes when there are troubles we are best to work them out on our own."

"If it was someone else and not yourself, you would want to help them."

"But it is me this time, and that makes it different."

Before Robin could respond, Starfire had left the hall and him to the silence.

Star… you're not broken. You're breaking. I just want to stop it before we can't fix it.

Author's Notes: Okay. So it's short, I apologize. I'm trying to figure out exactly what it was I was wanting out of this story. So… give me ideas! Please! Something should remind me what I was hoping to do with this! And… no review responses this time. I had too many reviews!

Love and hugs-

Crystal Renee