Yo. Long time no see!

---

"So what are we doing?" Ron asked as the trio made their way down to the Great Hall.

"Don't know yet," Harry replied. "I was thinking that we could wing it."

"That only works when battling evil and saving the world," Hermione commented. "Simple matters like this require a new, complicated plot that could go wrong in any number of ridiculous but amusing ways."

"What?"

"We're not going to wing it," Hermione clarified.

Harry sniffed. "Fine," he said, feeling slightly put out, "you think of a plan, then."

"Something along the lines of clothes would be good," Hermione murmured thoughtfully. "As in removing them."

A slow smile crept across Ron's face. "Yes," he added eagerly, "all of them, and we could let everyone see. But especially me. Only Pansy. Not Blaise. I mean, I wouldn't see Blaise, although I expect that he'd be naked. Not that I want him to be naked, but I expect Hermione does. But she doesn't want to see Pansy, so-"

"No," Harry interrupted abruptly. When his friends looked at him questioningly, he elaborated. "Nobody is seeing Draco naked but me. Plus, they did a similar thing to us already, and we need to keep being original. And I expect that pretty much everyone has seen Blaise or Pansy naked at some point anyway," he finished, smirking.

"Are you saying Pansy is, that's she's loose?" Ron cried, looking shocked.

Hermione snorted. "Of course he is," she retorted, sounding matter-of-fact. "As is Blaise, I guess," she admitted.

Ron looked stunned. "I can't believe-"

"Oh come on, you're not that ignorant. You know their reputations just as well as we do."

Ron continued to look righteously outraged until he realised that, in truth, he did know what Pansy and Blaise were like. However, the fact remained that in Pansy's case at least he no longer cared.

"So, back to the main point," he said hurriedly, "what are we going to do?"

Harry thought for a few more moments, then smiled at his friends. "You're not going to do anything," he replied slowly. "I have a plan."

---

When the trio walked into the Great Hall and headed straight over to the Slytherin table, everyone stared, expecting a show.

When the trio stopped just opposite their chosen competitors, nobody was shocked, but they continued to stare anyway, hoping for fireworks, nudity, or something equally amusing.

When Hermione delivered a swift kick to the ankles of the unfortunate Slytherins sitting in front of her, everyone was more than a little surprised.

When the Slytherins in front of the trio shifted quickly out of their way, everyone was much more than a little surprised.

When the trio sat down, the hall fell silent, and the sound of indrawn breaths could be heard and everyone steeled themselves for the inevitable explosion.

And when, five minutes later, it was clear that the three Gryffindors were not going to blow anything up, and had in fact tucked into their breakfasts, everyone got bored and went back to whatever it was that they had been doing before.

---

"I don't mean to sound rude," Blaise started good-naturedly a few minutes later, "but what the hell are you doing here?"

Ron and Hermione stared at Harry, who grinned at them. "Are we not allowed to enjoy your glorious company?" the dark haired boy asked cheekily, batting his eyelashes.

Pansy smiled sweetly back at him. "Of course you can," she simpered, "Blaise here is simply not a morning person. If he had been thinking straight he would never have been so rude as to enquire why you lovely, lovely people have graced us with your presence." She gave meaningful looks to Blaise and Draco, then helped herself to more food.

"Oh yes," muttered Blaise, clearly catching on but not appearing to amused at the suggestion that he was not a morning person. Anyone looking at him closely might have caught sight of him checking his reflection in a teapot a few moments later, just in case any signs of not being adapted to the morning could be found about his face, hair or attire.

Harry turned to his friends again, who looked blankly back at him. "You know, I think they get nicer food than we do. Their sausages seem to be much bigger than ours," he commented loudly.

Ron choked on a mouthful of scrambled eggs as the Slytherins around them began to snicker.

Blaise looked slyly at Draco. "So tell me, Draco, is it true?"

"What?" Draco squeaked, taken completely by surprise.

"Out of all of us, you should know," Pansy said, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she glanced back at Harry. "Most of us only know one side of the story."

"I, I," Draco stuttered, then looked down in shock. There, resting not-so-innocently on his groin, was Harry's foot.

"Do tell, Draco," Harry asked, smiling as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth as his toes curled and he began to move his foot up and down. "We're all very interested."

Draco gasped, sliding further under the table in an attempt to hide Harry's foot and the rather obvious effects that its presence was having on appendages which should not really be taken out at a communal breakfast.

"Anybody home?" Blaise called a few moments later, when Draco had still not responded.

"I don't know, I mean, yes, uh, maybe, what was the question?" Draco gabbled hurriedly.

Pansy looked hard at him for a moment. "Are you alright?" she asked slowly.

Draco nodded vigorously, biting his lip. Pansy looked quickly between him and Harry, the latter of whom was smiling widely and seemed to be moving the right hand side of his body slightly, as if he was doing something with his leg.

"I don't think they are, you know," Hermione interrupted, and Pansy appeared to jerk out of her train of thought.

"And how exactly do you know?" she queried, raising and eyebrow at the brunette.

Hermione blushed. "I was trying to steer the conversation from sausages to, er, sausages," she attempted to explain. Reaching forward, she selected a sausage from the place. "As in the type you can eat," she continued, waving her chosen sausage in the air. Intercepting Blaise's response, she corrected herself: "At the table. With other people present. Normal people. Damn it, I know you're twisting everything I say!" she cried. "I can't win."

"No," Blaise replied, leering at her. "Is that an official surrender?"

Hermione glared at him. "No, not in any shape or form," she snapped. To make a point, she raised the sausage to her mouth, smiled sweetly at Blaise, and then bit the tip of the sausage off with a rather sadistic expression on her face. Blaise winced.

As the banter continued between the Gryffindors and Slytherins, a certain Draco Malfoy had become very aware that his trousers had just come undone. He gripped the side of the table hard, concentrating as much as he could on keeping his breathing quiet and even, and holding in any unsuitable noises. How on earth was Harry managing to do that with his feet? It should not have been humanly possible, really, but this did not appear to be making much of a difference. And unless Draco managed to put Harry off soon (not that he wanted to), he was going to end up in a rather sticky situation. Literally.

But just as Draco was about to conclude that his reputation could go fuck itself, because he was going to come at breakfast in the Great Hall with students happily munching away all around him and he did not care any more, Harry stopped.

"What?" Draco whispered.

Blaise glared at him. "What do you mean, 'what'?" he snapped. "I promise you that my sausage is far bigger than Ron's!"

Draco looked blankly at him, realising that he had no idea what they were talking about, and that they had no idea what he was talking about.

"How would you know that?" Harry asked. Apparently, he had somehow managed to keep up with conversation even as he was torturing Draco.

Draco looked at him helplessly, and Harry winked back. "Well," the Gryffindor continued, "That was delicious. I appreciated the company more than you could even know." He stood up. "Anyway, Potions calls, and I couldn't possibly disappoint Snape. That guy loves me. Coming?" he added, looking at Ron and Hermione.

Draco was left staring at Harry and his friends in disbelief as they hurried out of the hall.

---

"I didn't see any plan," Hermione accused as soon as they had left the hall.

"Oh," Harry said carelessly, "there wasn't one." Although this was not strictly true, of course, there are some things that he was not prepared to tell even his best friends.

"So why did we go and sit with them?" Ron asked, sounding confused.

"Because they will have thought that there was a plan," Harry explained simply. "They'll be going mad in there trying to work out what we did."

---

"How the hell did you do that?" Draco snarled, backing Harry up against the wall.

Harry grinned at Draco, aware that the other boy had followed him about all day in order to catch him alone. "Do what?"

"You know," Draco hissed.

Harry continued to smile. "Did you like it?"

Draco hesitated. "Yeah," he admitted. "But how did you do it?"

"I looked up a spell that let me use my toes just as well as my hands. Comes in rather handy," he said, waiting for Draco to laugh at the pun.

Draco simply glared at him.

"I thought you didn't like doing stuff in public!" the blond accused.

"I don't," Harry replied. "But nobody saw. You did a very good job, by the way, although I was hoping that you would squeak or something. It's cute when you do that."

Draco glowered at him for a few moments more, wanting to stay angry at Harry, but also wanting to kiss the living daylights out of the boy in front of him. It was a tough decision.

"You are unbearable," he finally stated.

"And you like it," Harry agreed, continuing to smile as he leaned in for a kiss.

---

---

-cowers- Now at this moment in time, I will not be surprised or upset if you come running at me with pitchforks. I haven't updated in almost a year, and I am really, really sorry. And before you get your hopes up (if you still have them), for all I know it might be that length of time again before my next update, although I hope it won't be. I am really struggling to find the time, the inclination, and the situations in which they coincide. Still, I hope you thought that chapter was OK. -grovels-

Thanks so, so much for being so good about the long gap. I've still been reading all the reviews you guys have sent me, and they continue to make me happy like a happy, happy thing.

So. Yeah. Much love to you all, hopefully I will update again relatively soon!