Tai & Sora

By Kumquat Queen

of

FREAKSHOW

A/N: Well, just when you thought it was safe to go back to FFN, it's the tragic return of Kumquat Queen to the realm of fanfiction!

This time, I thought I'd take a dive into one of my favorite animes of all time: Digimon. Yes, yes, I'm an "adult" as some of you say, so why am I still watching a kids show? Well, it's the same reason my grandmother has a swing in her front yard, it makes her feel good to sit out there, hopped up on Vicodin, just like it lets me get away from my problems and tribulations in real life by watching saturday mornig cartoons...hopped up on Vicodin. But enough of that hoo-haa, let's get down to business. I was watching an episode of Will & Grace(you can't help but love Megan Mullally), and I thought to my self, "Hey, just what WOULD I do for a Klondike bar?" After that, I realized a plot bunny had snuck into my house and had kids. Of course, this meant I wouldn't get any sleep anytime soon, so here I am, at 3:08 AM, with insomnia, bangin' this out to all you FreeksNGeeks in cyberspace....

ATTENTION: This fic contains several gay characters. If this offends you, (1) you're stupid, and (2) I advise you to leave now. If you think I'm gross for writing this, then go back to the first grade where your mindset is still understandable. If you're not offended by this, then please, I beg of you, read and review. Also, this is sortakindalilbit AU. That's all for now, my peeps.

PILOT: "Here's A Story..."

Sora Takenouchi sighed to herself as she dejectadly put down the phone. Well, another man slipped away. Damn, and she'd liked him, too.

Fortunatly, the one person always able to cheer her up, her roommate, and best friend since high school, Tai Kamiya, wlakind into the apartment at that moment. He stopped, surveying her critically for a moment.

"Lemme guess...family emergency in Tibet?"

"Damnit! How do you always know??" She sounded angry, but both knew she enjoyed this, it made her feel better.

"Ah, my red-haired friend, that's for me to know, and you to find out..." Honestly, Tai loved leading her on. And he was good at it too.

Sora watched her friend as he started pulling things from the kitchen shelves, preparing dinner for the twosome. She wondered idly why they had never gotten together. Tai was almost perfect; good looking, thoughtful, sweet, caring. He was a lot of women's fantasies but for one sneaky little detail: Tai was gay.

Yeah, fate was definitly cruel, dangling this in front of her, and then snatching it away. It was like some joke the universe had conspired to play on her: The perfect guy, utterly intouchable.

But that hadn't stopped the pair from becoming closer than sisters. Their many odd rituals, like chiken-dancing before eating out, or singing Cher's "If I could turn back time" whenever they were near a jukebox. And then, they'd moved in together after college. They were like the dynamic duo, inseperable and thicker than theives.

"Well, I hate to skip out on, what is it tonight, roasted chicken? But I have some things to do at the office."

"Y'know you really should get a new assistant. And I know you know this is my first time makings this, so youe have no confidence in my skills, so you're really going to get a pizza and eat it at the shop."

"Yeah, well, I've got things to do. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. And you know I can't afford an assistant. I barely afford all the other shallow luxeries essential to life."

"Well, just remember one thing. If I really am bad at this and I get sick and die because you were out, I'm haunting you, following you around, scaring off cute guys." Tai made ghostlike gestures with his arms.

"Yes, but if I was here, I'd die too, so better that one of us survive, and I'd rather it me."

"Awwww, why can't I be the one to cheat death?"

"Duh, because you're cooking, hello!"

"Blast! You and your confounded logic!"

"Yes, It's all part of my master plan. Now I shall use my patented evil laugh to bring you to your knees! Muhuhuhahaha!" Sora laughed like on of those 1940's silent movie villians with the dastardly looking moustaches.

"No, kind Sora, anything but the evil laugh!" Tai held up his hands in mock horror.

True to her word, Sora did have things to do at the office. Simply because those things involved wine and meat lovers pizza with extra cheese was beside the point.

It was at that time that Tai's sister, and Sora's good friend Kari entered the office, as was not unusal. What was unusual was that she went straight to the window.

"Kenzo Sasaki is a horrible man!" Kari pushed open the shutters and screamed at the top of her lungs, and then promptly, calmly closed them and went to grab a slice of pizza.

"Problems with Kenzo?" Sora asked quizzically.

"Oh, you can say that again." Kari spat bitterly, "Tryin' to get me to move. I can't leave my friends, my family, my pharmacist... Needless to say, I didn't want to move to the Cayman islands, so we had a knock-down, drag-out fight, long story short, I'm not speaking to him. Me and Lupita are staying at my mothers. Which, of course, is almost as bad." She took several long gulps of wine.

Maybe just a little bit of background here is in order. You see, about fours years earlier, Kari had married Kenzo Sasaki, a clothing salesman from Okinawa. Maybe a year later, Kenzo's bussiness boomed, and he opened up about 50 new stores across the planet. This had allowed the couple to live a very luxurious life. And, since Kari had always sort of been a repressed party girl, she tended to dress sexy, and drink. A lot. Seriously, the lady was almost always sloshed, but she never showed it. She held her liquor with the best of them. Lupita was the housekeeper, she and Kari were very close, but they pretended to hate each other.

"Well, Kari," Sora offered, "If it helps, I never liked him anyway."

"Good. Stupid, overbearing, fat...." Kari's grumblings faded as she took a bite of pizza.

"So," Kari asked, hoping to steer the conversation away, "How's my brother queerest? I mean dearest. No, I mean queerest." Sora rolled her eyes.

"Well, we've decided to take a trip to Kyoto. Great shopping, fresh air, tube socks."

"Sounds tedious. Have fun." Kari popped two pills into her mouth, washing them down with wine.

"Y'know, you really shouldn't be mixing illegally procured meds with alcohol."

"Maybe," Kari said, "but YOU shouldn't be wearing pink go-go boots with a brown coat." Sora rolled her eyes again, Kari loved scrutinizing her wardrobe.

ROLL CREDITS

A/N: Yes, I know, you people hate me. But c'mon, Kari as the Karen figure, that knocked you for a loop, eh? I know it was short, but cut me some slack, it was the pilot. Ciao!