Hello, and welcome to another sick installment of whatever the hell goes on in my mind! Today, I shall most likely mortally offend many (if not all) South Park fans by writing this piece of garbage. But I'm a South Park fan too, so hah. Yeah, that's right, I went there. Now that my ramblings are somewhat finished, on with the Fic!
Disclaimer: If I really owned South Park, would I be writing this?
"Bye, hon!" called Ms.Cartman to her horribly obese son, who was currently reclined on the couch. "I'll be back from the South Park Formal in a few hours. I left the number on the fridge in case he needs me," she told her son's brave(and incredibly strupid) babysitter.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," the teen replied. "Have fun at the dance thing." Ms.Cartman
smiled and started to leave.
"Bye sweetie, mommy loves you!" she said to Cartman again.
"Ay! Shut up! Terrance and Philip is on! Stupid lazy ass whore…" he mumbled. Ms.Cartman smiled at him and exited her house, confident that her son would behave and that this would be a great party. If all went well, Eric would be asleep when she arrived home and she could sneak a few men into her room. She grinned. This would be a great night…
/ Back at the Cartman's /
The babysitter (who we will now call 'Susan') is talking to her boyfriend while Cartman stuffs his cat into the washing machine. Blood-curdling kitty screams can be heard from miles away.
/ Back to Ms.Cartman /
Yes, she had such a good son she thought as she pulled into the parking lot of the huge rec building. Tons of other cars were already there. "I must be late", she thought. It looked like this was a pretty popular party. Ms.Cartman finally found a parking space and exited her car. She walked into the building and saw a drink table. It was supposedly "fruit punch", but everyone knew that Jimbo had spiked the drinks. Well, everyone except for Ms.Cartman. Being late, she had not seen this happen. She immediately went to the table and grabbed a drink. The other adults gaped in horror. At least the women did. The men, however, were looking forward to this. Jimbo had brought some pretty strong stuff.
Ms.Cartman ignored them and took a sip. All of a sudden, she felt very strange. "Maybe I'm coming down with something," she thought as she took another drink. After a few more sips, she started acting strange. She would giggle for no reason, and she started flirting with everyone. Even a few of the women. "What a great party," she thought to herself as she started talking to the wall.
/ A few hours later /
Ms. Cartman was making-out with Mr. Hat when she heard Lez Bian asking something to a group of parents. She heard the words 'child', 'club', and 'fun'. She got up and staggered over. "What's this about a club?" she slurred.
"Oh, I'm just asking if any parents want their kids to join the Girl Scouts," Lez replied. "But you have a son, so you wouldn't be interested in-," she was cut off by Ms. Cartman.
"I would love to sign Eric up. He'd love it!" it was clear to Lez that Ms. Cartman was drunk.
"No, no, no. To be a Girl Scout, you have to be a girl," Lez told Ms. Cartman.
"Is that an official rule?" she questioned. Lez paused and pulled out a manual. She flipped over to 'Rules and Restrictions'. Lez ran her finger down the page and suddenly gasped in horror. Then she started to read.
"Due to complaints about discrimination," she read in a shaky voice, "boys may become Girl Scouts, if they actually wantto become Girl Scouts, or if their drunk parents sign them up for it."
Ms. Cartman grinned and grabbed Lez's sign up sheet. She scribbled down 'Eric Cartman, age 9' on the paper. Laughing triumphantly, she promptly passed out, completely unaware of what she just did.
So there ya have it. The first chapter of 'Just Join the Boy Scouts'. What will happen to poor, poor Eric Cartman? That's for me to know and for you to find out. Eventually. If you want me to continue this story, please review. I need at least five reviews before I post the next chapter. Even though I'll probably post the next chapter anyway. Reviews just make the Leprechauns in my head work faster. Yes, before you ask I did make up the South Park Formal. Neat, huh? Tune in next time for the adventures of the assmaster-I mean Eric Cartman. Bye!