Author's Notes: I was guilty of not giving Fuji a chance to explain to Tezuka why everything happened. And I couldn't do that to my beloved Fuji! So, this is the chance Fuji was given. Thank you for those who read this and have reviewed.

Dedication: To Reeza, for listening (again) even if she didn't feel like it. And to Heiko, for squealing when I told her about this.

Epilogue: The Apple's Reason

Date: Wed, 06 October 2004 02:05:02 -0800 (PST)

From: Fuji Syusuke (iloveapples...)

Subject: You and Me

To: Tezuka Kunimitsu (tezukak...)

Hisashiburi, Tezuka. I know I haven't written to you for quite sometime. It's not that I've forgotten you – goodness, no! – it's just that I didn't know how to phrase the things I was supposed to tell you.

However now, I think I am.

When Sae gave me that necklace you bought for me, elated was an understatement to describe my feelings. The necklace symbolized your heart, Tezuka, and you were giving it to me. I was overwhelmed by the trust you gave me. It was something I had always wanted – well, secretly – to have and now I had them.

Then, Ryoma came.

He made advances even though he knew I was obviously in-love with you. But as he did so without ever backing out, I got thinking about you and about him.

Did I really love you at that exact moment? Or was it because you were in Germany – almost unreachable and so far away – that I realized that I loved you?

It was both, Tezuka.

I was drawn to you the moment I saw you. I was a tennis ball caught in the Tezuka zone. As years went by, the admiration slowly evolved to fondness and eventually to love. Yes, Tezuka. I loved you. And yet, I never admitted it to anyone, more so myself. I only realized that I did when you left for Germany. No. It was the only time that accepted it.

At first I thought it was ok. We could work it out. It wasn't too late to correct a mistake. There was still time.

However, I thought about it again. I only consciously realized I loved you when you went away. Because I lost – or was in the brink of – that's why I admitted that I loved you, too.

I didn't want it that way, Tezuka. I wanted to love you because I did and not because I lost your presence. I was being unfair. You were offering me your whole heart and I couldn't offer mine. I didn't want to fool you, Tezuka. You were the last person I wanted to fool.

Yet, it wasn't only because of how I discovered my feelings that I couldn't offer my whole heart back. Ryoma and I were often paired up when you left – especially in the training camp – did you know that? He was starting to gain ground. I neither know how nor why, but it did. Doubts circled my heart.

I loved you, yes. And yet, I realized it was because you were physically gone. My feelings were triggered by your departure. If you hadn't left, they wouldn't have surfaced. My feelings weren't actually as intense as before.

I'm sorry I never said anything to you for the past weeks. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell these to you personally. I'm really sorry, Tezuka, and I hope you can understand. Saa... you always did understand everything, didn't you?

I'm sure that whoever you'll love in the future, he – or she – will be very lucky. I will envy that person because he – or she (I am snickering now, if you must know) – has got one of the most wonderful people on earth. May you find that person in the shortest possible time. Maa... I'm sure you'll find that person (or have you found him? Or her?). You are, after all, a remarkable man. Yes, a man even if you are only fifteen. Age doesn't have anything to do with what you are inside.

Ryoma will never be able to replace you, Tezuka. You will always be the first person who captured my heart and the person who inspired me to bring out my fullest potential (it was you who pushed me to reveal my true potential when I went up against Kirihara). Thank you for everything. And please grant me this one last chance to say this,

I love you, Tezuka Kunimitsu.

With all my love,

Fuji Syusuke

Tezuka smiled as he finished reading the letter he had been waiting for so long. True, Fuji's decision left him bewildered since the tensai seemed to be reciprocating his feelings at first. It was just good that everything was clear now.

He wouldn't deny, however, that he was still hurting from what happened. But he knew that concerns of the heart didn't exactly heal that easily. Time was needed.

The buchou clicked the 'reply' button. It was time for him to speak up, too.

"Kunimitsu, how long shall Atobe, Jiroh and I wait for you? The play starts in ten minutes!"

A sigh. He had forgotten about the play. The reply could wait, he thought as he disconnected his internet connection and shut the computer off. With a small smile, he turned around and grabbed his coat.

"Coming, Kojiroh."

-Owari-

01Nov04

10:22p