a/n I know, I know... it's been a long time since I last wrote. I was on hiatus, you might say. Anyway, I'm back with this new story that I've been thinking about for a month or so.
I want to dedicate this story to... four people. One, Deplora, who sat there and listened to me rant about my stupid muse. Two, Angel, who is the absolute greatest ever. Three, Ezzy, who is there, day after day, to listen to me complain. And four, Jess, because it is her birthday coming up! Happy 14th!
disclaimer (haven't done one of these for a while) The characters and places are property of SquarEnix and Disney. The lyrics in this chapter are from the song Everybody's Fool by Evanescence.
It hadn't ever rained in Traverse Town. Not since the Heartless had come. But on that day, the world cried for her daughter. It cried for a little girl's broken heart.
Squall had told Yuffie that he was brining back someone special. The trusting young ninja had believed the Gunblade wielder. Someone special was an old friend who hadn't died when his home world had been overtaken by the Heartless.
There was no reason why Yuffie should not trust Squall. After all, they had been in an intimate relationship. The shinobi had given all of herself to the lion, confessing her love, passion, and devotion in that perfect way. She had assumed that his participation, his pleasure and love in those moments, mean that he felt the same as she did.
But she wasn't counting on Squall's lingering feelings for the woman he brought home.
Yuffie was excited when the scheduled day for Squall's return arrived on her calendar. Carefully, she applied a tiny amount of makeup and brushed out her short raven locks. She looked through her clothes for a moment, trying to decide what to wear. Finally, the shinobi decided on a green button-down and a short black skirt.
The First District was a little crowded, and Yuffie pushed through the throngs of people, looking around for Squall. Instead, what caught her eye was the couple in the corner who were kissing each other fervently. Yuffie could only see the woman.
She was someone you kept in your memory, that was for sure. She had long, dark hair, and was of average height. Yuffie was envious at how the woman was curvy and gorgeous and Yuffie was ugly and thin. She began to feel self-conscious, but pushed the thought away. Squall loved her for who she was. He thought she was beautiful.
Yuffie waited around for half an hour, sitting on a bench. She had lost the couple in the crowd a while ago. Now, the ninja was waiting for Squall to step through those doors and sweep her off her feet. Surely, he would be just as elated to see her. The outward sign of affection would be enough to tell the world how much he loved her.
Finally, though, when the one-hour mark passed, she began to lose any hope that he might come back that day. Maybe tomorrow, Yuffie thought. Maybe he just got delayed.
"Umm... excuse me, miss? I'm looking for the Hotel and I was wondering if you could show me the way?" It was the young woman Yuffie had seen kissing the man. She was even prettier now, and the shinobi was almost green with envy. Then, she caught sight of the man who had been kissing her, at least she assumed so. He was looking the other way, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his belts crossed just so around his waist. Sure enough, Squall Leonhart stood there with this woman... Yuffie wanted to cry.
It never was and never will be
Have you no shame?
Don't you see me?
And you know you've got everybody fooled.
Instead, she stood and shook the woman's hand, then passed her and went over to Squall. "Squall, you never said the 'special someone' was a woman! Welcome back..." Yuffie told him, pinching his arm hard, anger flashing in her eyes though her voice was as kind as could be.
"Ohhh! You're Yuffie Kisaragi!" The woman said, grabbing the shinobi in a tight hug. "Squall has told me so much about you! I'm Rinoa, a... friend of his from Balamb Garden." Yuffie noticed the tender way she said 'friend' and wanted to bite the woman's head off. So... so Squall was cheating on her. He could forget her that easily?
"I'm sure your travel was long, you two must be tired. Come on, follow me, Rinoa. Squall, I'm sure you remember where the Hotel is." There wasn't a hint of bitterness in her dulcet voice, and she tried as hard as she could to hide her betrayal... her sadness, her anger...
The ninja led the two through the First District, pulling out her shuriken for the Second District and cautiously making her way to the Hotel. "There are still a lot of Heartless around. Wouldn't want either of you to get hurt." She accentuated the 'hurt' in such a way that it made the listener think she really did want them to get hurt. Which she probably did.
Entering the Hotel room, Yuffie went to the Green Room without even saying goodbye to Squall or Rinoa. She didn't want to talk to them. If he was so in love with her, then he could just forget about Yuffie. Forget all about her; she didn't really matter much anyway.
But, sure enough, there was a knock on her door about an hour afterwards. Yuffie sat up and mumbled a quiet "come in" to the knocker before plopping back down on the bed, her back to the visitor. She heard the clatter of belts, and recognized her former lover immediately. Hastily, she wiped away the tears and sat up, forcing a smile onto her features.
"Squall... hi..." Yuffie said, a hurt edge creeping into her tone. "I wasn't expecting you."
"Do you like her, Yuffie? She was my first love... back before the Heartless we were planning a life together. You think... you think maybe we'd still have a future together?" Squall asked, dropping all pretenses of coldness and coming right to the topic of interest.
Yuffie wanted to strangle him, shouting, "I HATE HER! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME!" Instead, she looked at the floor, twisting a lock of hair between her fingers. Cool it, Yuf. It's okay... you'll be alright...
"I think... I think..." her voice was tight and squeaky, unwilling to come out of its own volition. "If you two love each other, and you really want to make a go of it... you can do anything you want to. Squall, your happiness means the most to me. So, if that's what you want, then..." a few tears slipped from her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away, "...then you should go for it."
Squall nodded, a smile gracing his handsome features. Yuffie felt a door slam shut in her heart, like the ending of an era. Why? Why did heartbreak hurt so much? Why did Squall have to love another woman? Why wasn't Yuffie good enough for him?
Like a boy in love - his feelings confused, but at the moment full of joy – Squall wrapped his arms around Yuffie in a brotherly hug. Yuffie's indigo eyes widened, and she pushed him away roughly. "Stop it, Squall," she whispered, almost inaudible. He had heard it, however. His body became rigid, and his smile disappeared.
"I want you to be happy for me, Yuffie. Please. I need that much," he told her coldly before exiting the room. Yuffie lay down on the bed, sobs wracking her petite frame.
The next day, Yuffie had been roped into giving Rinoa the grand tour of Traverse Town with Squall along for the ride. It wasn't as if Squall had been gone too long and that he didn't remember the layout of the world. He probably wanted it to be a sort of bonding experience for the two young women, one whom he clearly considered as nothing and the other as his whole world. To Yuffie, his thinking was completely mixed up.
Yuffie sat on a bench, fiddling with the strap of her tank top. It was early morning, so there weren't many people out and about. She was grateful for this. The shinobi wasn't feeling too well and her face was still blotchy from the tears she had shed later the past night after Squall had asked her to show them around.
Yuffie stood at attention when she saw the couple coming towards her. Squall was nuzzling Rinoa's neck, and she had a euphoric expression on her face. "I hate you, Rinoa," she sighed softly into the slight breeze blowing past.
Look, here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh, how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
"Hey Rinoa!" Yuffie called with forced cheerfulness. She couldn't bring herself to say Squall's name. It would make her dissolve into tears again, which she did not want to do in front of the Gunblade wielder, or in front of his new flame. "You guys are a few minutes late! I was beginning to worry!" That's a lie, Kisaragi, Yuffie thought, grinning all the while. You were not worried one bit.
"Sorry, Yuffie. We were just... busy is all," Rinoa offered with a sly smile to Squall. Yuffie was absolutely sickened by it. She got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, and angrily pushed it away.
"Ah, that's fine," Yuffie said with a fake smile plastered on her lips. In truth, it was not fine, but she didn't want to give off the appearance of being concerned, jealous, or anything of the sort.
The shinobi grabbed Rinoa's hand in a tight grip. "Well, shall we go? There's a lot to see and not much time to see it in!" Yuffie pulled the young woman along down the alleys and streets, through the town. She showed her every nook and cranny, everything that she had explored with Squall and Aerith when she was younger.
Yuffie told Rinoa some of the stories about when she was younger, with Squall and Aerith; about when she protected Traverse with Squall at her side, how Aerith was their healer, Yuffie's confidant. The ninja told Rinoa a lot of tales, trying her hardest to show Rinoa how tight of a bond she had with Squall without bringing in the romantic aspect of their relationship. Maybe she could make the woman feel guilty about coming between Squall and Yuffie.
The group got to the First District and was standing on the steps; Yuffie laughed when she thought of what had happened here. Rinoa looked at her, slightly puzzled, and Yuffie was sure Squall would be thoroughly embarrassed.
"The day Sora came here was the first day in a while that Squall was almost beaten. Oh, it was priceless. After he had knocked the kid out, he told me that he was going easy on him. Yeah right, Squall! I mean, you were really tired out by that. I thought it was hilarious... you wanted me to shut up." Yuffie laughed loudly, and Rinoa giggled, glancing back at the lion.
Squall cracked a smile at Rinoa. "I guess it was sort of funny. Sora was strong even then, and I wasn't in my best shape." Yuffie's mouth was agape, the shinobi absolutely amazed that Squall would ever admit to that.
He never admitted anything to me, Yuffie thought, hurt inside. He never ever saw that what he had done was wrong, and he never laughed at himself. Squall was not a person to show that he had weakness. So why now?
Rinoa. That's why.
Maybe he was acting... maybe he didn't really mean it when he said he loved Rinoa, Yuffie told herself later that evening. Rinoa had "retired" to hers and Squall's room for a respite. The shinobi took Squall's dinner down to him because he was training down in the Waterway. As she approached him, she heard his labored breathing, the clank of his belts, a few mumbled curses.
"Squall?" Yuffie called, wanting to make sure that he knew she was coming.
"You can come, Yuffie," he replied, a sigh echoing through the cavern when he sat down. The ninja set out his spread in front of him, handing him a fresh, clean towel to wipe his face with.
"Why the increased vigor?" Yuffie inquired after Squall had been able to eat a little bit of food. When they had trained together, it had been much different.
"To protect Rinoa, Yuffs. Because I love her," he told her.
Well that blows my theory out of the water, Yuffie thought sadly. Aloud, she said, "Well, isn't this sort of sudden? I mean... we never officially broke up... not really. You just brought her here and I accepted it. I want..." she shook her head, "I don't know what I want. Just explain this for me. Y-you said you loved me," Yuffie whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. Quickly, she shinobi turned away from the lion.
"Yuffie," Squall replied wearily, "I was mixed up at that time. You know as well as I do that I was still having a hard time dealing with the fact that I could not protect those I loved back on my home planet. You were... you were comforting when I needed it. It was nothing more than physical attraction, Yuffie. You freely gave yourself to me, and I took. We were both wrong."
"I wasn't wrong!" Yuffie shrieked, anger bubbling inside. "I gave you all of myself because I honestly thought you loved me. I'm not stupid, Squall, and I never was. You said you loved me; you kissed me... you wanted me back then. And you know what? I trusted you, and, like the little innocent that I was, I believed you whole-heartedly."
"I never meant it like that, Yuffie." Squall's voice had taken on a frigid quality. "You misinterpreted the signs. What happened between us was sex, never love. It was never love to me."
"How can you listen to yourself say this? How can you lie like this? You loved me! You did! I know you, Squall. You still love me too."
"No Yuffie," Squall deadpanned. "I never loved you. And I never will."
It was at that point that Yuffie was so hurt that she angrily threw one of her throwing stars at him, creating a deep gash in his cheek. In the next instant, she was gone.
Yuffie ran through the pouring rain, needing to get far away from Squall. He was like a poison that could not be drawn from Yuffie's heart. Tears streaked down her cheeks. She paid no mind to the rain; it mirrored her soul. Sobbing, crying… always mourning. The shinobi hated where she was in life, hated what had happened to her.
"He's lying… he must be lying… I love him…" Yuffie mumbled to herself as she ran.
Without the mask
Where will you hide?
Can't find yourself
Lost in your lies
Finally, the young ninja made her way up to the Bell Tower, looking out over the Second District of Traverse. Puddles began forming on the paths in the square, and everyone running for their homes. The storm was sudden and violent, torrents of rain slashing across the buildings and drenching the town in cold water. Everyone was inside, watching the phenomenon.
Yuffie sat alone atop the tower, letting herself get soaked and chilled to the bone. She was numb anyway, and the rain soothed her. It cleared her thoughts and flooded her heart, filling her with the pleasing wetness of the world's tears. It mended over the hole in her heart, though the poison formerly known as Squall stayed locked away. Safe and sound, it boiled and ate at her soul.
The rain stopped after the drenching downpour, and children came out of their homes and danced in the puddles, their mothers chatting with one another about the event. Yuffie had just enough time to look down at the Hotel before Squall came out of it, his arm around Rinoa. They were close and seemed like any ordinary couple, cutely cuddling together after a storm. Yuffie's heart was filled with black thoughts.
Shivering, the shinobi glared at their retreating form. "How could he do this to me? How could he forget entirely about me and go with this woman? What happened during those weeks that he was away?" Yuffie asked the sky, which only patiently twinkled a star back at her.
"I don't love him… I can't love him…" Yuffie sought to purge her soul of Squall once and for all. And to do that, she had to get rid of the fantasy love that she harbored for him. Obviously it would never be returned. She had to give up hope before he destroyed her.
"Squall… you're a loser. A jerk. You used me, and then went right to the arms of another woman. You are a cold-blooded weasel. The happiest day of my life will be the day that I don't have to put up with you anymore." Yuffie began crying again, the words hard to say, some of them ringing true while others were falsehoods.
"I-I…" she choked on the sentence. "I do not love you anymore Squall. And I'm not sorry about it."
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you
Anymore
Yuffie felt coldness engulf her soul. Her eyes lost their sparkle, and her hands fell limp at her sides. Tiredly, Yuffie trekked back to the Hotel to get her much-needed sleep.
a/n Review and I'll love you forever.