Disclaimer: Although I do not own Earth's Stargate, I believe I have a claim to the one on Omalya.

I would just like to take this opportunity to thank my lovely reviewer Tempus1. You are a wonderful person, Tempus. Although your reviews were short, you told me exactly what you liked about my story. By the way, Tempus, I have good news. Although this is, sadly, the last chapter to this story, I am currently working on the next episode, which is called "Assassin." And after that, there are plenty more episodes which I plan to write.

Last chapter, we left me sitting on the bridge of the ship with a broken leg. Jim had just called for his wife, Lady Rachel, who was sort of the angel of healing. She had my leg fixed up in no time at all, good as new. It was as if it had never been broken. "Ah, the wonders of Omalya. No storm sensing for me. I think I'll retire here when I'm done saving the universe."

The ship landed safely on Omalyan soil, thanks to the help of some friendly Gods. Rachel examined the bruises suffered by the others due to Blake's oh-so-wonderful flying.

Blake groaned and sat up. "What happened?"

"You broke my leg," I said, glaring at them.

"It wasn't my fault. There were supposed to be inertial dampeners! How was I to know they weren't working?" Then he actually took a look at the aforementioned appendage. "It doesn't look broken."

"Rachel fixed it."

"So why are you yelling at me? And who's Rachel?"

I proceeded to give him Rachel's entire life story, much to the surprise of said Immortal.

Eventually, we all said our good-byes, but not before Méra insisted on giving us all cool outfits to wear, saying that our uniforms just wouldn't do. Jack said mine made me look like a System Lord. Apparently they're the real head honcho Goa'ulds. Anyhoo, I decided not to wear it except in private, when the desire to play dress-up came over me. Or I could wear it whenever I felt like freaking Jack out.

We made our way back to the Stargate. I stepped through, formerly broken left leg first. Eleven years ago, I would've used my right leg, but that was before I went to West Point.

Then I was out, on the Earth side of the Gate. As soon as I put my weight on my leg, it broke. Again. I fell ignominiously face-first on the ramp, wincing from the pain. Blake was right behind me, and when he came out of the Stargate, just to add insult to injury, he stepped on me.

"Blake," I said through gritted teeth, "you are so dead."

And that's the end of the story, folks. Tune in next Friday for an all-new episode of Stargate SG-13. Not really, I'll probably get it started before then, but maybe someday I will be writing shows for the Sci Fi channel. You know, ten years from now when I'm a famous author working for the SGC.