Part 4

Saturday Evening

November 6, 2004

Key West, FL

Harm and I gather up our shoes and he slips his hand into mine, and as we walk down the beach along the edge of the surf, we drift lazily in and out of the water. We don't talk, sometimes there's no need for words. I steal a glance at Harm and realize how comfortable we've become with each other, and I think back to the not-so-distant past when that wasn't the case. I like this.

"Me too," Harm replies, and squeezes my hand. I look up, surprised, and realize I must have said it out loud.

The night turns cooler and we turn back to make our way toward Avalon. The breeze picks up, coming in short gusts, and it's just enough to give me a slight chill. Harm notices the goose bumps on my arms and he stops me. He turns to face me with his back to the wind and opens up his jacket, motioning for me to step closer so he can close it around me. And just like that I'm back in his arms - safe and warm and content. I move closer and rest my cheek against his chest. I swear I can feel his heartbeat, and it comforts me.

Harm rubs his hands slowly and rhythmically up and down my back. "Is that better?" he asks.

I snuggle into him, snaking my arms around is waist, and nod into his chest. "Feels good."

He kisses the top of my head, then fingers the hair from my forehead and touches his lips there, and then he tips my chin up. His mouth opens just the slightest bit as he leans into me. I can see the tip of his tongue peek from between his lips, causing me to part my own in response, and our lips meet. I realize now, how quickly I could get lost in these sensual kisses. His tongue is moist and velvety and as his duels with mine, I savor the feel and taste of him. I never want it to end.

I don't know how long we stand there, surrounded by people milling about, but all I can see is the man standing in front of me, only us and this new thing we are exploring.

When we finally pull apart, our lips are slightly red and swollen. Harm rests his forehead against mine and we slowly regain our composure. "God, Mac. You taste so good."

Before I can reign in the thought, the words come streaming out of my mouth. "Too good. This could get out of hand." Did I say that out loud?

Harm pulls back and hesitates, holding both of my hands in his before he lets go. "You're right, I'm sorry," he says with a smile, but I can feel him distance himself with lightning speed.

No, wait. I step closer; take his hand. "Don't be sorry, Harm. I'm not."

Harm searches my eyes and I hope he can see the sincerity in them. He breathes a small sigh. "Okay."

Tentatively, I resume my earlier position in his arms. "So, what do we do now?"

"We take it slow," he suggests.

I run my hands slowly up his chest. "And by slow you mean…"

Harm checks his watch. "Fifteen, twenty minutes?" he jokes.

We share a much-needed laugh and I swat him playfully on the arm. "You're funny."

Harm gathers me up in a hug. "Do you want to head back?"

"If you'll keep me warm, I'd like to stay out here for a while longer." Harm nods and we walk for a short distance before selecting a spot that is a little secluded from the crowds.

Harm helps me to sit and I pull my knees up slightly and rest my hands there while he sits behind me and encircles me with his long legs. "Is this okay?"

I look over my shoulder and I can see the hesitance in his eyes. In response I reach down into the sand and scoot back until I can feel my body pressed to his. "This is better."

We sit quietly for a few minutes, watching the stars twinkle in the sky and adjusting to this change in our relationship. We just took it a step further. Only a baby step, but still…I don't know if either of us is really ready for this, even if it's what we've both wanted for years.

"What is it?" Harm whispers to me.

"What do you mean?" I ask innocently, but I can't fool him.

"I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head, Mac."

I take his hand between mine, studying it. "I didn't realize I was thinking so loudly," I respond with a hint of laughter.

Harm brushes the hair from the back of my neck with his free hand and kisses me softly behind my ear. "Want to talk about it?"

His kiss makes me shiver and I lean into him. "Have you ever wanted something so much…"

"It scared you? Yes, I have."

"And you're not scared, now?"

"Not any more."

"How?"

"I learned it…the hard way, like every other thing I've done in my life. Life is too short, Mac. It's better to face your fears than to live in them."

"You're a wise man, you know."

"I don't know about that. Experienced, maybe."

I see an object streak across the sky and sit up, surprised. "Look! Did you see that?"

Harm looks up to see the shooting star just before it disappears. "Your first one?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and concentrate. "Yeah."

"What are you doing?" I can hear the amusement in his voice.

"Shh. Making a wish." When I'm finished I open my eyes and he's watching me.

"Well?" He looks at me expectantly.

"What? I'm not telling you."

Harm brings his hand to his heart. "You wound me."

I roll my eyes and lean back against him. "Oh, stop. If I tell you it won't come true."

"Maybe it will." He can see I'm not convinced. "You're too superstitious."

I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe I am. Have you ever made a wish, Harm?"

He quirks his head and looks away. "I might have."

"Did it come true?"

He reaches down and traces his fingers through the sand, then looks at me. "No, not yet," he replies.

"What did you wish for?" I ask, curious to know.

"Okay, Mac. I get your point," he says with a smirk. He places a quick peck on my forehead. "Ready to head back?"

"Yeah. You should get some sleep; you've got a date with a plane tomorrow."

"And what are you going to do?" he asks.

"I'm going to get some work done. I've got some notes to go over and I want to be prepared for our interviews on Monday."

Looking guilty for wanting to have fun while I'm working, he offers, "Why don't you wait for me, we'll do it together."

"We've hardly done enough work for two people, Harm. Don't let the sound of my itinerary fool you…I'll be spending most of my time soaking up the sun scattered by little bits of work. Believe me, I won't be working that hard."

"I don't think there's a very strong case here, Mac. Unless we get some pretty compelling information from Bittner and Searles, I think we should recommend no action be taken."

"I agree. We'll see where it leads us. In the mean time, go. Have fun."

Harm helps me up and we brush the sand off each other as best as we can, but it's a losing battle. We walk quietly, hand in hand, back to the room, reaching second floor before we know it.

I break the silence. "I had a lot of fun today."

"I did too."

"We'll have to do it again sometime." I take the key card out, shove it in the door and open it, then turn back to say good night. "Hey, why don't we…"

Harm's back is to me. He's standing underneath the overhead light. Curious, I come to stand next to him and peer around to see, putting my hand on his arm. He's holding the picture in his hand, the one that was taken of us on the beach, and he leans to show it to me.

"See, I told you it was a good idea to hold onto this," he comments.

I rest my head on his arm. "Hmm, looks like love to me."

"Me too," he replies, and presses the picture into my hand and a kiss onto my lips before I walk back to the door.

"Good night. I'll see you tomorrow, Harm."

"Aren't you going to wish me…"

"Luck," I blurt out before he can say it.

"You have to stop finishing my sentences," he says with a smile. We kiss one more time before he backs away but before I can close the door, he stops me.

"Hey. I hope your wish comes true."

"So do I."

I peel myself out of my clothes and take a quick shower before slipping under the sheets. Propping the picture against the nightstand lamp, I gaze again at the picture of Harm and I on the beach silhouetted by the setting sun, one more time. And as I turn off the light for the night, it's still there with me, burned into my memory. I'll never forget our first date as I drift off to sleep and dream of Harm's lips on mine.

Sunday

November 7, 2004

Key West, FL

I wake up and jump out of bed with a spring in my step. I dress quickly and head over to Duval Street to have a breakfast of French toast with syrup and bacon, and bring back a couple of coffees to go.

I sit at the table and dig into my briefcase for the files, open my second cup of coffee, and get right to work on those files. The sun is bright, another cloudless day and I don't want to miss it. I'd rather not be working, but I'm not one to leave things hanging. A couple of hours later, after taking copious notes and formulating questions for our witnesses tomorrow, I feel satisfied that I've made a dent in this case.

I hear a knock at the door and get up to answer it. Housekeeping his here to clean my room, and I ask the woman to give me a minute. I close the door and gather my papers together and shove them back into my briefcase. I grab my bathing suit and change into it, and fill a bag with a towel and some sunscreen.

I'm ready in record time; sometimes it pays to be a Marine. I open the door and let the woman in and she wishes me a good day. It's a short walk to the beach and I'm eager to get some sun.

Late Afternoon

Key West, FL

"I tried your room but you weren't there."

Moving from my stomach to lean on my side, I rest my head on my hand and look up to see Harm standing there, watching me. I point to him. "You had fun today."

"How can you tell?" he asks.

"You're kidding, right? Harm, you should see the look on your face right now."

Harm crosses his arms and his eyebrow arches up. "Really, what does it look like?"

Sexy, Harm. Sexy has hell. I blush at the thought. "Never mind." I roll onto my back and close my eyes.

Intrigued, he sits down next to me on the sand. "No, tell me."

I can't help but smile, but I don't answer him. Suddenly I feel his fingers, caressing my stomach so lightly it tickles, sending a shiver through me. I have to stifle a giggle. Finally I can't take it any more.

"Okay! Okay. You look…" I open my eyes and look into his. "Satisfied," I say with a grin.

"Satisfied, huh?" he asks, amused.

"Yeah, you always get that look when you fly. That adrenalin rush…must be better than sex." I joke.

"I wouldn't know, Mac. I haven't had any…." He stops short, realizing what he was about to say, to me, out loud. I can see the look of embarrassment sweep over his face.

"Of course you've had sex, Harm," I say facetiously, trying to erase this awkward moment.

Sighing heavily, Harm lies down next to me on his back with a soft thud. "Nice save, MacKenzie."

"Thanks. Want to go for a swim?"

"Sure." He helps me up and removes his shirt, tossing it on my towel. I can't remember the last time I saw Harm without a shirt and I can't help but stare; it's my turn to be speechless. I try to be nonchalant about it, but my mouth betrays me and drops open slightly at the thought of feeling his skin pressed to mine.

"Wow," I say under my breath.

"I could say the same thing," Harm replies happily.

"Um, what I meant was…." I try to explain, but I stop because he's having too much fun watching me squirm. Hell, he knows what I meant.

"Last one in…" he says before he takes off into a full run and doesn't stop until he's in deep, then he dives into a wave. I follow, but there's no way I could have kept up with him, I never could run as well in the sand. He turns and waits for me to catch up, reaching out for my hand, and I don't stop until I'm swept up in his arms, right where I belong.

We swim for a while, playing in the waves and talking. Suddenly a look comes over Harm's face and he looks up to the sky before asking, "What time do you think it is?"

"Around three, I guess. Why?"

"Did you have lunch?"

"No, I had a big breakfast."

Harm grabs my hand and pulls me in the direction of the beach. "Good."

Slightly amused at this, I ask, "Where are we going, Harm?"

"Can't tell you, it's a surprise. If we hurry we won't miss it," he tosses over his shoulder cryptically.

We towel off and gather our things, and make our way back to the hotel. When we reach the second floor, I turn to look at him questioningly. "Okay, now what?"

He turns me around and points me to my room. "You're going to take a shower and change. Dress casually. Knock on my door when you're finished. Take your time, Mac. But not too long." He turns and walks away, whistling.

I let myself into my room, trying to figure out what's this is all about, but I shrug it off and follow Harm's directions. I take a shower and put on a pair of shorts and a loose-fitting top when I realize I'm a little sunburned. After I put on my sandals I grab a bottle of aloe thinking maybe Harm can put some on my shoulders later. I take one last glance in the mirror before I close the door behind me and walk to Harm's room.

I knock lightly on his door and I hear his footsteps get closer before they stop and the door opens. "Come on in, Mac," he says as he steps back to let me pass. He showered also; his hair is still wet and the fresh scent of his soap lingers in the air…along with something else.

"I hope you don't mind an early dinner," he says, and points to the table near the window. I walk toward the table, dressed with a tablecloth, and on it - food…barbecued ribs and corn and coleslaw, beans and biscuits with butter.

"No, I don't mind." I turn back with a surprised smile. "How did you do this?"

"They deliver," he responds simply. "Shall we?" he asked as he pulls out a chair and motions for me to sit.

I hand him the bottle of gel and he puts it aside for now. I sit and pull a napkin into my lap and survey the feast in front of me. "Thank you, Harm. I don't know what to say."

"Don't talk, eat," he says, and fills his plate with food with some crab cakes. I follow suit, taking a little bit of everything and biting into the first of many succulent ribs, savoring the smoky barbecue flavor.

When we finish some time later, I sit back with a grin a mile wide. "That was delicious."

Harm gets up from his chair and walks over to me, and leans over. "Don't move," he says in a serious tone, and tips my chin up with his hand. He swallows softly, and licks a spot near the corner of my mouth with the tip of his tongue. Satisfied, he pulls back and smiles, placing a kiss on my lips. "Barbecue sauce," he explains.

My heart skips a beat. Or two. Before I can respond, a knock at the door startles me and Harm goes to answer it. They've come to clean up the mess we've made, so Harm and I step outside and let them get to work.

I walk to the railing and look out over the ocean; the view is spectacular. Harm steps up behind me and touches my shoulders; I can really feel the sunburn now, and let out a small hiss of pain.

"Sorry. Let me see," he says, pulling back my blouse slightly. "I'll put some aloe on it when they're done."

"Okay."

When the room is clean we go back inside and Harm gets the aloe and motions for me to turn around. I'm eager for some relief from the burn. Harm pulls the back of my blouse from my neck but it won't move far enough for him to completely reach my shoulders. "It's too tight, Mac. If you want me to get at it, you're going to have to take it off."

I take a hesitant step forward and my hand sweeps to my chest when I realize I don't have my bra on. "Um, that's okay, Harm. I'll get it later."

Harm puts the cap on the bottle of gel, walks away and sits down on the bed. "Do you trust me, Mac?" he asks softly.

"Of course I do."

"Are you afraid I'm going to hurt you?" he asks before he looks away. "I'm sorry, Mac. I shouldn't have asked you that."

Harm's questioning uncertainty makes my heart break. I do trust him. He's demonstrated countless times that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, would do anything to protect me. That's one of the reasons I love him so much.

Silently I unbutton my blouse and pull it off my shoulders, letting it fall in a heap on the floor. "Harm? Would you get my back?"

I can't see his response, but I can hear the springs in the bed moan as he stands. He walks over to me, bends to retrieve my blouse, and hands it over my shoulder. "You dropped this," he says softly.

I take it and hold it against my chest. "Thanks."

Opening the bottle, Harm sets to work. "You've got handprints on your back. Next time let someone put the lotion on you instead of trying to do it yourself, okay?" he advises as he slowly spreads the cooling aloe onto my shoulders. "Looks like you won't be going out in the sun again for a while. There. All done."

"Thanks. Can you help me…" I ask awkwardly, holding my blouse over my shoulder. Not knowing what else to do with his dirty hands, Harm wipes his fingertips quickly on his shorts before taking it from me. He holds the edges while I put my arms through the sleeves, and backs away. He retreats to the bathroom to wash his hands when he sees that I can take it from here and when he returns I'm buttoned up. "Harm, I…"

"Could use some dessert, how about you?"

"Dessert?"

"Close your eyes." I squeeze my eyes shut but decide to take a peek when I hear him moving around. I shut them quickly when I realize I've been caught.

"They're closed," I say with a giggle as I peak again.

Harm is standing with his arms crossed in feigned annoyance. "Outside," he says, and points to the door.

"But…"

"I'll be right out. March." I open the door and stand on the porch, deciding to sit in one of the chairs while I wait.

Harm follows a few minutes later and I hear him pull a chair close to mine. "Can I open my eyes yet?"

"Even better. Open your mouth," he instructs me. I'm intrigued now. I have no idea what he's got there but I do as he asks.

Harm spoons some into my mouth and I let it melt on my tongue. "Chunky Monkey?" I guess.

"Ah, you're familiar with this flavor."

"Intimately."

"It's all they had. You should have seen the funny looks I got when I asked them if they had any Phish Food. This stuff isn't easy to find, you know."

Harm offers me another spoonful and I take it into my mouth. "Are you going to try some? It's really good." I lean in and capture his lips, opening my mouth to invite him in for a taste.

He dips his tongue inside. "Bananas. Chocolate. And something else."

"Walnuts," I offer. "It's good, isn't it?"

He kisses me again before answering. "Not bad, but you taste much better."

I take the spoon from his hand and dip it into the pint of ice cream, scooping a big enough mound for us to share. I offer him some and I take the rest.

"You're spoiling me, you know," I try to say matter-of-factly, but the look on my face betrays me.

Harm sees my troubled look and cups my chin in his hand. "And you don't deserve to be spoiled?" he asks.

"No, I do," I answer with a small twinkle in my eye, and we share a laugh. "It's just that…I could get used to this. You don't want to create a monster."

Harm's intense gaze grabs my attention. "You know what I could get used to? Seeing you smile, watching your face light up when you're surprised. I wish I could surprise you every day."

My heart skips a beat and I take his hand in mine. "You don't have to surprise me every day to make me smile, Harm. I don't show it enough, maybe I don't show it at all…but I want you to know you make me smile, in here…," I say as I press his hand to my heart, "Just by being part of my life."

Harm leans in and kisses me so tenderly, then deepens the kiss and quickly threatens to escalate into something more. He pulls himself away reluctantly and swallows audibly to catch his breath, and leans back into his chair, propping his legs up on the railing. Taking his lead, I pull my chair closer to his and sit back also, and when I put my feet up they brush against Harm's.

"Remind me whose idea it was to go slowly?" he asks.

"Yours. Why, want to change your mind?" I ask, and offer him a spoonful of ice cream.

"No, I can wait," he replies honestly.

We sit on the porch for hours, playing footsy and talking and finishing the rest of the Chunky Monkey…can't let good ice cream go to waste. Later, Harm walks me to my door and we kiss goodnight. I want to ask him inside, but I don't. We said we'd take it slow, and several times tonight I question the wisdom of that decision, but deep down I know it's the right one. We're both a little hesitant, there's so much at stake. We'll know when it's the right time. Until then Harm holds me in a close embrace and rubs my back, and with one last kiss I watch him walk away before I quietly close the door.

Early the next day finds us both in uniform and back at the base. Harm is interviewing Bittner in another room and I've got Searles. Later in the morning, we get together to compare notes.

Harm pours himself a cup of coffee and leans against the table, sighing with frustration. "I don't know, Mac. I get the feeling someone's lying here."

"It's Searles. I don't think he was there at all, Harm. I can't believe he didn't think I'd notice his story matches Casey's practically word for word."

"They went through an awful lot of trouble to see their friend brought up on charges." Harm remarks.

"Yeah, with friends like that…so you agree there's nothing here?"

Harm stands and walks toward our makeshift office. "Looks that way. We should never have had to come here in the first place," he says with annoyance. I'll write this up and speak to the Captain. Do you want to see how soon we can get out of here?"

"Hey," I say and Harm turns back. "It wasn't a total loss." He smiles at me, and walks through the door.

Harm and I are already packed and checked out of the hotel, and on the ride to the airport I reflect back on our stay here. We reach the airport just in time to get through security and to the plane before the doors close. Getting a last minute flight wasn't easy and Harm and I don't get to sit together on the plane, but that's okay. I watch out the window as we slowly back away from the terminal and head for home.

Three weeks later….

November 25, 2004

Thanksgiving Day, 8:54 am

Mac's Apartment

Harm raps quietly on my door, maybe he thinks I'm not awake yet; nothing can be further from the truth. I have to admit I'm a little nervous, cooking only the second turkey of my life, but this one's important because it's for Harm. It's a fresh one, too. No Butterball for me, no sir, why do it the easy way? I'm not worried though. I've spent the last two weeks watching every Thanksgiving show on the food channel just in case, and I'm as prepared as I'll ever be.

I open the door to find Harm standing there with his arms full, and I invite him in, taking the bag that's hanging precariously beneath the pie in his hand. Preceding him into the kitchen, I call over my shoulder, "Home made, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. One pumpkin, one apple, per your request," he says with a bow.

I take them from his outstretched hands and set them on the counter, bending to admire their aroma. "Mmm, I bet they taste as good as they look."

"I bet you do too," Harm says from behind me. I straighten and he wraps his arms around my waist and leans to kiss my neck.

I tilt my head so that I can capture his lips for a kiss. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Mac." He peers over my shoulder and rests his eyes on the oven, arching an eyebrow. "Is it in there?"

"It is," I say proudly. "I didn't stuff him though, I think I'll do the stuffing separately."

Remembering my account of how badly my first turkey fared, he remarks, "Probably best for all of us," to which he earns a playful swat on the arm.

I point him toward the living room. "Go sit, the parade is getting ready to start."

"You don't need help?" he asks.

"Nope, it's all taken care of. As a matter of fact, as soon as I put this stuff away I'll join you."

Satisfied with that, Harm removes his jacket and makes his way to the couch. I put the whipped cream and cider he brought into the fridge, and make a mental check of the things I need to do next. Everything's pretty much set and I have some time before I have to baste the turkey again. The vegetables, stuffing and potatoes are ready to be cooked. I guess there's not much left to do but relax for a little while.

I bring Harm a cup of coffee and he takes it from me, patting the space next to him. As I sit, he holds his arm out and pulls me close as I snuggle against him with my legs tucked under me.

With his head tilted back comfortably, Harm takes small sips of his coffee while he absently plays with my hair. As I watch the streams of people walking briskly down the streets of New York, and see the crowds clapping with excitement, I hope one day maybe we can go there and experience it together.

"When I was a kid I used to watch the parade. I wanted to be one of the clowns that got to keep the balloons from flying away," I tell him.

"Any balloon in particular?"

"Yeah, Mighty Mouse," I say and we share a laugh.

"I always liked the end of the parade the best. When Santa Clause makes his appearance and signals the start of the Christmas season and the coming of the New Year," he says.

"Why?"

Harm shrugs. "The idea of new beginnings, I guess. It reminds me I've got a lot to look forward to, and a lot to be thankful for."

"Wait, you haven't tasted my turkey yet," I joke.

"I'm sure I'll live," he replies.

Hours later, and with both of us working as a team to finish with the preparations, everything is ready and we sit down to our first holiday meal together. Harm pours us each some cider and we raise our glasses. Harm states simply, "To new beginnings."

I touch my glass to his. "And good things to come."

Later we sit at the table staring at the decimated remains of old Tom, and I feel like I'm going to bust. The meal came out surprisingly well, although my attempt at making gravy was a complete disaster; luckily I had a spare jar on hand. Obviously I need more practice with that. Harm didn't seem to mind though, he didn't complain once and ate everything on his plate.

After clearing the dishes we decide on a long walk in the park, and it looks like we aren't the only ones with the same idea judging from the amount of people out and about. There's nothing like a full stomach, a brisk fall day, and holding hands with the man you love.

When we get back to my place we wait a respectable amount of time before cutting into the pies. Harm makes me wait on the couch and comes back with two plates, mine contains a small slice of each; one piece is garnished with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon, the other with a scoop of ice cream.

"I wasn't sure what you'd want, so…" he says as he hands me a plate.

I take it eagerly and sit back on the couch, waiting for Harm to join me. He sits and looks up to see me watching him. "Fork?"

"Oh, yeah." He pulls my fork from his back pocket, along with a napkin, and hands them to me.

Harm watches me take a bite of the pumpkin, then take a bite of the apple. He waits patiently for me to say something but I take my time sampling each piece in turn slowly, not making a sound, until the plate is empty.

I set the plate down on the coffee table and wipe my mouth with my napkin. "You've been holding out on me. That was delicious."

"I'm glad you liked it. I especially enjoyed watching you eat it," he admits as he puts the finishing touches on his own pie, and suddenly an idea forms in my head.

"I'll be right back." I pick up our plates and take them to the kitchen, returning with my hands suspiciously behind my back and a mischievous smile on my face.

"What have you got there?" Harm asks warily.

"Close your eyes, open your mouth." He raises an eyebrow, but follows my directions. I sit close to him and squirt a small amount of whipped cream onto his tongue, then dip mine in after it, kissing him long and slow.

Harm pulls away breathlessly. "Mac, I have to warn you, do that again and I may not be responsible for what happens."

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking." I sit up and take his hand, coax him from the couch and lead him toward the bedroom for the first time. "We don't need the whipped cream."

Some time later, lying in bed and wrapped up in the man I love, I sigh with contentment. "Phish Food," I say out loud.

"What?" he asks sleepily.

"If it wasn't for Phish Food, where do you think we'd be right now, Harm?"

"I don't know," he says honestly.

"I think we owe a debt of gratitude to Ben and Jerry. Maybe we should write them a letter, tell them our story. They'll probably want to name a flavor after us."

"Maybe," he agrees. "To Ben and Jerry," he salutes.

"And new beginnings," I add.

"And good things to come." Harm tips my chin up, caresses my check with his fingers, and gazes lovingly into my eyes. "I love you, Mac."

I reach out and hold his hand against me, and brush a kiss to his lips. "I love you too, Harm. Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving."