Hellsing is not mine, the only profit that I'm making from it is purely mental. (Stress relief, ya know?)
Pip sat down at the table and grabbed at the pot of coffee sitting in the middle of the table. Ah, coffee. Never could do without it, he mused, ignoring the usual mayhem that was the Wild Geese and breakfast with the long ease of practice.
"Tell me, Captain," Seras stood behind him, "are they always like this?" She licked her lips unconsciously as she surveyed the room. "I thought that you were the best, and, well," she trailed off.
"And you thought that we'd be a bit more professional?" Pip grinned wickedly. "Only when we've weapons in our hands." He decided to pry. "Look, Miss Victoria, what did you do before coming here?"
Seras blushed slightly. "I was a police girl," she stood a bit straighter. "In D-11, I will have you know!"
"In what? Never mind," Pip replied. "But with your team, were you only focused on your work, or did you also have down time?"
"We were given regular downtime," Seras spoke slowly, "And-"
"And did you ever have fun during that downtime, or did you just sit at home?"
Seras blushed. "I see, Captain," she murmured. Then she shook her head. "But that still doesn't mean that I should be able to hear your men from halfway down the corridor!"
Pip motioned for Seras to sit down. "Better halfway down the corridor than from Sir Hellsing's office. Don't worry," he explained, "the men know just how loud they are allowed to be. A few of them have made it into a science." He refilled his coffee cup. "And so what brings you down here?"
"Tonight's training. Tonight it will be outside, at the large field behind the troop barracks. Bring small arms only, and I will meet you there just after sundown."
Pip reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded and re-folded many times. Spreading it out on the table and pushing the two sides back together after they had ripped, he pointed. "This is where the training ground is tonight?"
"Yes," came the vampire's response. "And, um, Captain? Would you like another map?"
"No, this one will do me fine." With that, Pip picked up the pieces of his map and his coffee cup and walked away.
"The nerve," Seras fumed as she left to return to her basement room.
xXx
"So, it's been a week. What do you think of this situation?" Pip sat down at the head of the table, looking at the men playing cards. "Stay or go?"
Mike stretched his arms out over his head. "I'm liking this. Stay."
The others nodded. "Although it's nice that the vampire hasn't shown up again. He is really out there, sir. The male one, I mean. Not Miss Victoria. Damn, but if she wasn't dead…" The speaker leaned forward. "Hit me."
"Isn't that the truth," Pip grinned, "But she is. So it's unanimous, we're staying for the long haul." He laughed when he saw the shocked looks that he was being given. "It was in the contract; there is no termination date for our services. Deal me in?"
A gentle cough came from the doorway. "Please excuse me Captain, but Sir Hellsing requests your presence in her office immediately." The young secretary, blushing furiously at the looks she was getting, fled.
xXx
"Sir Hellsing?" Pip walked into her office. "You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, Captain. Sit down." Sir Integra looked up from the paper she was reading. "How good is your knowledge of history? The Second World War, to be exact?"
"Not very," Pip allowed. "I know some, but probably not what you were looking for. Mostly the non-fighting aspects of that time period."
"Huh." Sir Integra raised a single eyebrow. "That certainly is interesting for a man of your position, Captain."
"Well, sir," Pip grinned, "Not much use in knowing battle tactics that are useful for battalion sized groups using technology that is 50 years old now, is there?"
"You'd be surprised," was the reply. "but thank you. Here, read this." She shoved a file across the desk.
Pip scanned it, and looked up. "Millennium? Is that some sort of odd joke?"
"Read." Sir Integra sounded impatient.
It as all simple information, but in line with what Pip knew about the defunct Third Reich. Experiments with the undead, vampires, "Why are you telling me this, sir?"
Sir Integra scowled. "Because, Captain, that is the group behind the recent attack on Hellsing, where all but eight of my men were brutally murdered. They are being tracked with all due haste, but I'm afraid that they are not done. No, if they really are remnants from the Second World War, then they will not stop until they complete Hitler's goals—world domination. Our current mission, and one that will see fighting, is to track this group down and destroy them to the last man. They managed to escape us 50 years ago, but not now. This time, we will be victorious. Dismissed!" she snapped.
Pip stood, saluted, and walked out of the room and straight into Seras. "Excuse me, Miss Victoria."
Seras smiled. "No, Captain, it was all my fault. I was thinking on something that my master told me. Ah, training tonight. It will be outside again, this time with your standard weaponry."
"Thank you, Miss Victoria." Pip grinned. "So 'Master,' eh?"
Seras blushed. "It isn't like that! He is my master, and I cannot disobey him. Not like that!" she snapped, seeing Pip's grin. "Please excuse me, Captain, but I think I hear Walter calling." She ran off.
Pip watched her go, idly playing with the end of his braid. I wonder… he shook his head and, flipping his braid over his shoulder, returned to the barracks.
xXx
"Ah, Captain," Walter walked into the lunchroom. "I was looking for you."
"Yes?" Pip lit a cigarette. "How can I help you? I already talked to Sir Hellsing."
"We need your assistance. You, a small band of your men, Alucard, and Seras Victoria will be sent to South America most likely in the next day or so. Are you able to make contact with the smugglers that you use to send over weaponry and the coffins for Alucard and Miss Seras?"
Pip sat back in his chair and thought for a minute. "How much are you willing to pay? The smugglers that we normally use are free at the moment, but it won't be cheap for such a short notice."
"Money is not an issue," Walter said, sitting down. "Her Majesty's government is fully behind this operation. Security, however, is. Shipping two coffins? A preposterous thought."
Pip nodded. "I'll contact them this afternoon."
xXx
Pip could only stare at the young vampire. "You want us to do what?"
"Your targets are there," Seras said, pointing to dim shapes in the distance. "Fire on them from here."
The Wild Geese looked at each other, shrugged, and started firing.
After a few minutes, Seras started to look annoyed. "Look here, whatta you think you're doing? No no no no no!" She yelled. "It's no good like that!" Turning to Pip, she snapped, "Why can't you manage the 4,500 meter mark?"
"You idiot!" Pip burst out. "Don't be ridiculous!" She was treading a fine line, insulting his men like that.
"Wh-wh-wh-why?" Seras stammered. "You lot are dogs of war, right? A pineapple army, right?"
"It's not that!" Pip yelled back. "who can hit 500 meters with ordinary small arms?" he mocked. "You'd have to be some kinda bloody freak to pull that off."
Seras just stared at Pip, and then walked over to Mike. "Please move for a second," she quietly requested.
Mike looked at her. "Sure."
By this time, everybody had stopped firing, and were all crowded around Pip, staring at Seras. She was standing there with a sniper rifle, staring at the targets. The mercenaries jumped as she suddenly swung the rifle up with one hand, and Pip gasped as she started firing. The shells were landing with lethal accuracy, and as the largest target, a jeep, exploded she lowered the gun with a smile. The Wild Geese just started at her.
Pip was looking at the targets through his binoculars.
"How about it?" Seras smirked.
"Look closely, fool." Pip was starting to get amused. She acted so young! "All hostages eliminated!"
Seras screamed in frustration.
Pip grinned. Turning to his men, he said, "This portion of training seems to be over now. I want everybody that I talked to earlier to go to the indoor firing range and fire at least 1000 rounds, then bed. Everybody else, you're done."
Doc nodded at a silently fuming Seras. "What about her?"
Pip looked at the vampire. She was just standing there, ignoring Muscles creeping up behind her with a wicked look on his face. What the hell, he thought, may as well see if this works… and started humming. Muscles stopped, looking at his Captain as the tune reached his ears and his smile only got wider.
Then the singing started. Seras's head jerked around, staring right at Pip. Her eyes were widened in shock, and she took off running towards the house.
Pip nodded at his men, and started walking in the same direction. He needed to see if Walter was still awake to answer some questions.
"Walter!" Pip heard Seras cry as he entered the room. He grinned.
"Ah, training is over, then?" Walter calmly asked.
"S-s-sex-sexual harassment!" Seras angrily stammered, pointing back at Pip who was standing just inside the door. "That weird mercenary commander was singing this nasty cadence!"
Pip just grinned. "I don't know but I've been told…" he started singing again.
"Great barmy pillock!" Seras yelled.
"Walter," Alucard stepped in, "It's old fashioned, but I have an idea." (1)
Pip and Seras both stopped and looked at Alucard, confused.
"An idea about what?" Walter sounded annoyed.
"She has a coffin, no? Then we can use it," Alucard said, then disappeared.
xXx
"No!" Seras shrieked, seeing the coffin. "Why can't I travel with everybody else? Or stay here!"
"Police Girl, you are unable to cross the ocean the way that you are now," Alucard forced Seras to focus on him as Pip and a few of the Wild Geese crept up from behind. "I care not for your excuses." He looked Seras straight in the eye. "Your master commands it. You shall go to South America."
"But, but, but," Seras stammered, "but, ack!" she squeaked as Pip and his men grabbed her and quickly forced her into the coffin. Two men jumped on top as the others went for their hammers and nails.
Quickly nailing the lid down, Seras' cries of distress were ignored. Alucard assisted by seating himself on the foot of the coffin, staring at the door.
"Hunh." Everybody in the room heard as Sir Integra opened the door and stopped short, staring at the coffin and Alucard.
"Good morning, Integra," Alucard said, standing up.
"We settled on using a coffin in the end," Walter said at the same time, from the doorway.
"I don't see that getting through customs," Integra slowly walked further into the room, circling the coffin sitting on the floor.
"There shan't be any."
"And why not?" Integra turned around to stare at Walter.
"Because it is a smuggling vessel." Walter looked nervous.
"Heeeyyyy…let me ouuuuuttt!" Seras yelled out as she banged on the lid of her coffin.
Over Seras' cries, Integra looked cautious. "Are you sure about this?"
"It's the same smugglers that we always use. As long as we are paying them, we can rely on them," Pip smiled, the prospect of action starting to become exciting.
"Let me out!" Seras continued to try to escape.
"Silence," Alucard commanded, staring at the coffin. The background noise from Seras stopped.
Integra scowled, then focused on Alucard. "That isn't how you normally dress. Isn't sunlight one of a vampire's worst enemies?"
"I can't be expected to go for a plane ride dressed like that. It'd make me a walking billboard for our foes," Alucard said, idly playing with his sunglasses. "Besides, for me, sunlight isn't some great enemy. I just hate it."
Integra smiled ferociously as Alucard bowed. "You have only one order: search and destroy."
"I understand, my master," Alucard smiled and was gone.(2)
Integra turned to Pip. "Captain, you are going as backup. Use your best judgment, and whatever you do, do not get in his way. Alucard is a monster, and a monster he shall remain for all eternity, caring not for friend or foe while fighting. Dismissed!" she snapped, leaving the room.
Pip nodded. "Of course," turning to the other mercenaries in the room, he said, "Let's go. We're being met in an hour to start transport."
"Nooooooooooo," Seras hollered, unheeded, "Let me out of here! Captain! Walter! Let me ouuuuuut!"
1, 2Direct quotes taken from the Dark Horse English translations, volume 3.
This comes to the end of what I wrote last summer; don't know how much time I'll have over break to do more. As always, criticism is welcomed and acted upon. Eventually. After finals week.