A/N: Yeah, I'm back. I know I said that I'd stop writing, but I had a really good idea, and I just wanted to put it down on fanfic.

It's pretty much the same thing that I posted on the MC twilight board, I just changed it a little. Hope you like it.

Anyway, I changed it after I read the review. And ppl, I did not purposly copy's anyone's fanfic! There's a lot of repeated ideas and sentences out there. I can't promise the It won't be repeated. Like "The silence is killing me." I can't promise that nobody else's fic has the same thing! You stop blaming me for repeated sentences and ideas. And the quote, "I can't even buy you a cup of coffee." Um, I don't know, didn't SweetestReject get the from Meg Cabot too? So why are you ppl blaming me for everything!

I stood there waiting. He had shut me out again. Please don't. Don't do this to me Jesse. You know that we were meant to me. So why?

Memory-

God. The silence is killing me.

Nothing.

Nothing.

The room was quite, except Jesse's muttering.

He slowly turned to look me in the eye. No. Please...

I quickly looked away.

He lifted my chin up, so I could face him. "Tell me, querida..."

I blinked my tears away. No. Not that question.

"...do you love me."

I slowly shook my head. No! That is something I could not, dared not, answer. Because I didn't know the answer myself.

"Damn it! How can you explain this! How can you explain Her!" He cursed.

I shook my head again. I looked at the sleeping Jessica Slater. Yes. Slater. I don't how what happened either. She just showed up at me door. And called my her mother.

Jesse was the first to know.

"I-I-" I quickly shutted my mouth. I have nothing to say. No reason. No excuses. Nothing.

Silence.

He quickly dematerialized. Maybe this is was I needed. To be alone. To think.

Mother. Why doesn't he care? He hate me, doesn't me.

I read Jessica's thoughts. She had heard the whole thing.

I was seventeen. Not a mother.

He does.

I sighed. He doesn't. He didn't even was her. He didn't except her.

I wiped away my tears. "J-Jess, why don't you stay here and s-sleep." My voice shook. "I'll go and talk to your father about this."

6 months later...

I wanted Jesse. I NEEDED him. But he didn't feel the same about me. I don't believe any of this. I'll NEVER going to believe. I've lost hope. Everything died within me. I didn't know how to love anymore. Jesse....he didn't want me. He NEVER wanted me. It was a lie. All of it. The kiss, the queridas, none of it was real.

We haven't talked for 6 months. I cried out for him. He was not there. I needed him. He was not there. He's never there anymore. He didn't care anymore. But I never believed that it was over. That he didn't care. That all that means nothing. We never had a real goodbye. He just left me.

And so I stood here, at the rectory. Waiting for Jesse to answer. To accept the answer that I have to give to him. This is the first time that we talked for 6 months. Ever since the day Jessica Slater showed up at my door.

It was dark and cold. Too dark, too cold. I stood outside, waiting.

"Who is it?" I bolted up at Jesse's voice. His sweet, caring voice. His happy, cheery voice. His confused voice. His angry, painful voice. His sad, desperate voice. Hoping, wishing, wanting me to say yes. Yes I loved him.

His regular voice.

"Jesse." I squeaked. "Please, we need to talk."

"Susannah?" His voice was mixed up. Caring, sweet, confused, happy, angry, painful, sad, desperate.

"Please let me in." I cried.

"There is nothing to talk about. It's over. Over between us." I couldn't tell from his voice anymore. "We were never meant to be. You were alive!"

"That means nothing!" I sobbed. "It meant nothing to me. And it still doesn't mean anything to me!"

"It means everything in the world Susannah." He said my name so softly, so caringly, that it was impossible not to care. "You deserved better! Slater was right. I couldn't give you anything. Nothing. I can't even buy you a cup of coffee."

"But I lo-"

He cut me off, before I could say the L word. "It was a lie. All of it. You never truly did love me. Slater was all you wanted. Not me. Never me. It was all a lie. A lie." I could tell the pain in his voice. "You deserved so much more."

"I deserved you! I wanted you!" I sobbed. Don't do this to me Jesse! You know. You know too well who I wanted.

"It's over between us! All over!" I felt his voice toughen up. I've lost. It's over. There are only so much memory that I could grasp onto. And he wanted me to let go. Because he'd let go already.

Headache. Splitting headache.

Jesse. The kiss. At the hospital. At the graveyard. It meant something. I was sure of it. I was clutching on. Still holding on.

I let go.

And I collapsed on the floor.

I slowly opened my eyes. It was so warm inside. I could make out the shape on the place I was. The rectory, where Jesse now lived.

I heard the door open, and I closed my eyes.

Jesse's voice. "Oh Susannah. You have no idea how much I've wanted you. I wanted us. But I am died, and you are alive. You deserved so much more. I have nothing to give you. And when I found out about Jessica, I split. You have no idea how much I wanted for us to be, but there was nothing I could do to change the future. And the future is you and Slater. Jessica is so much prof for that. But memories. No matter how much you want to give up. I'm still clutching on. On to the memories. I love you Susannah, and I alway will..."

Hope.

There was still hope...

Yes, I know. That was really stupid. That was sad. But sad only makes it better right? Right?

Now, you only have to review. I think I might add a second chapter to this. It's probably going to be pointless, I might explain about Jessica or something. Buuuuut...I don't know, I think it's pretty much perfect the way it is. Right?