Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha, nor do we own any piece of Sesshoumaru's hot body, as much as we'd like to though. We make no profits with our fangirly attempts at concocting stories and nor do we think you'd get any money out of us if you were to sue us. We were broke during the first four chapters, and we still are. Though someone has betrayed me and found herself a job. -glares at Saturn-

Authors' notes: Italics are thoughts, just so you know. Umm, I think the Inuyasha x Ground pairing will remain in every chapter, hereafter, unless no one likes it…

Chapter 5: Can't Get No Satisfaction.

Orange rays of sun painted the darkening canvas of purple hues up above and the verdant blades of grass swung sporadically in the gentle evening breeze. The Shikon shard group trudged relentlessly on the path to their destination: the Northern Mountains.

"Inuyasha! Let's stop here and rest for tonight." Kagome's tired feet came to a halt as she unceremoniously dropped her gigantamongous yellow backpack on the ground.

"What for!" The silver haired half demon stopped his trek and looked at his companion incredulously. "I'm not weak like you stupid humans! Let's continue. The nearest village isn't that far; it's only four miles." He finished smugly.

"Four miles? Are you out of your mind?" Kagome was already seated comfortably against the roots of a large tree and was preparing to take out some supplies for the night from her bag.

"No! No one else is tired, right?" Inuyasha looked around at the rest of his friends for confirmation.

"…" Utter silence and disbelieving eyes were their response.

"Inuyasha, even Kirara and Shippo are tired and—in response to your pathetic 'humans are weak' argument--they're full demons." Kagome spat at the obstinate dog demon, wanting only to soak her tired, aching feet in a nice hot spring at the moment.

"Yeah well Shippo is a runt and Kirara is a freaking cat. You can't expect to have a strong cat; everyone knows that they're the weakest demons." Inuyasha finished lamely, knowing full well that it was the 'dog' (coughbitchcough) inside him who was speaking.

"Hey! Kirara has saved your ass several times! So don't call her weak." Sango broke her silence in defense of her kitty-cat as she scratched it behind its ears. Kirara purred.

"My lovely Sango tells the truth" said Miroku as he inched himself closer to Sango—a little too close…

"Feh, fine, just don't come running to me when you find a bug or something!" The half demon gave in realizing the score was five to one.

"Hey it wasn't a bug!" Kagome jumped to the defensive. "It was Shippo's tail!"

"Yeah but you were screaming 'kill it kill it it's a bug!" Inuyasha flailed his arms and hopped around on tip toes imitating Kagome when she had freaked out earlier that day.

"That is true Kagome-chan." Miroku chortled and Sango struggled to hold hers back.

"Fine!" Kagome gave up. "You win but we are sleeping here tonight and that's that." She finalized, pulling out supplies from her bag.

"Yeah, yeah… I heard you, just make me some ramen."

"Well, Inuyasha, like you stated so eloquently before: I'm not a demon, and therefore I can't start a fire without some wood."

"Fine I'll get your damn wood."

"Finally! Some peace of mind at last" sighed Kagome as Inuyasha sped off in the darkening woods.

"Indeed, I thought that he would never give up" Miroku stated in a matter of fact tone.

"At least we don't have to worry about him attacking any girls from the village" Kagome sighed in relief.

"Yeah only demons live around these parts" seating herself next to Kagome, Sango proceeded to help the other girl with her ministrations.

"I feel sorry for any demon that has to deal with Inuyasha's grubby paws" Piped Shippo from next to the now seated Miroku.

"Oh well, too bad for them." Miroku dismissed the topic and started another. "So ladies, what shall we do in Inuyasha's absence?" he asked suggestively.

"Why don't we take a bath?" Sango suggested to the other girl.

"A bath! Why, my dear Sango-chan, I do believe you're starting to see things my way."

"Not you, you stupid pervert!" the slayer slapped him over the head, causing the 'poor' monk to sink into the deep depths of unconsciousness.

"Okay, Shippo you look after the camp and Miroku okay?" Kagome told him, indifferent to the fact that a normal slap shouldn't have sent Miroku to Lala-land.

"You can count on me!" the little runt puffed his chest out as his eyes shone.

The two girls proceeded to go to the stream that they had spotted on their way in the woods. They trekked their way in through tall trees and finally arrived at the clear water stream.

"Darn, I left my bath supplies at camp!" Kagome bit her lower lip, a bit frustrated. "I'll go get them. Be right back, Sango."

"Okay, be careful." Sango advised as she set her supplies down and dipped one foot in the water to check the temperature.

"I will." Came the faint reply…

The sun descended in the horizon leaving an empty clear canvas of a velvet sky. Disrobing, Sango stepped into the stream and to her enjoyment; she found it just the right temperature, and deep enough to come up to her waist.

"Ahh, finally a bath!" Sango relaxed against a rock as she allowed her fatigued feet to rest.

Unbeknownst to her, orbs of cerise drank in every aspect of her frame as if they were thirsty for eons. She heard a rustle in the bush, thinking it was Kagome she paid it no mind. The predator closed in on its prey. Turning around, Sango met the face of none other than…

"Hello, Sango." Inuyasha's blood red eyes met her soft brown ones.

"Umm…hi Inuyasha." Sango stuttered, unsure of what to say at such a situation. "H-how are you today?" Her mouth automatically asked.

"Fine. Just fine. But can you do me a favor?" The deranged demon stepped into the water and stood dangerously close to the slayer.

"Umm…what is it?" Her hands held her towel in front of her protectively as her mind blanked. She had never been in this kind of situation before. Not even with that perverted monk. She stiffened.

"Kiss me, I'm horny."

Realization of exactly what was happening dawned on the astonished girl and she did the only thing she could possibly do to get her out of this scenario. Hiraikotsu met Inuyasha's head in a heartbeat. And Inuyasha met the ground.

"Well hello there ground-chan, we're awful close these days, aren't we?" before the great black abyss of unconsciousness swallowed him, Inuyasha reacquainted himself with his one true lover—the ground—which has never ever left him.

"Why that no good—I should kill him; he's lucky he's under that curse." She mumbled as she left the unconscious dog demon at the stream.

On her way back, she bumped into Kagome, who was hurrying towards the spring with her bath supplies. She grabbed the younger girl and dragged her back towards the camp. "Come on Kagome."

"B-but I've got to go take a bath!"

"The stream is cold and we can't get sick now can we?" Sango settled on a logical response, leaving out the tiny detail about the Inuyasha incident.

"You're right, let's go." Kagome chirped and walked along side her friend to their new destination,

The crystalline water in the meandering stream glistened in the moonlit night. Inuyasha awoke with a start from his slumber as sounds of crickets chirping permeated his consciousness—his libido still in check.

"Dammit I need some- some- something!" The half demon cursed as the insatiable urge within him raged relentlessly. He ran at an inhuman speed towards the clearing, away from the forest…where he could smell someone…someone whose thoughts were similar to his…someone who was also looking for the same 'something' that he needed…maybe they could give each other this 'something' they were both searching for…

Inuyasha's keen sense of smell led him back to the camp he and his friends had set up before he ventured out to look for firewood—his task now long forgotten. Blood red eyes searched the premises for someone—anyone to satisfy his yearning…

His search came to a halt as his eyes landed on a figure lying on the ground—its face invisible due to the lack of light near the underbrush. Soft moans filled the half demon's ears as he approached the figure on the ground. His senses told him that this was the one of whom he had been thinking when he 'smelled' someone nearby with 'urges' similar to his. Deciding that the person lying before him would be the one to quench his ever growing thirst, Inuyasha closed in on his next 'victim.'

"Mmm… Sango… your hair's so soft."

Inuyasha flipped his prey over gently only to discover the face of the perverted monk. His eyes were closed and he wore an expression of mild amusement as his fingers ran through silver locks of the half demon's hair.

I should've known it was the horny monk… Only he would dream about Sango that way. Damn I need something, anything will do, right now. Inuyasha's brows furrowed in disappointment and something akin to worry.

I suppose you'll have to do monk; a hole's a hole.

"Ohhh! So you want to play it that way Sango? No problem with me!" Miroku purred in his sleep as he felt the body weight of his companion settle near his abdomen.

Inuyasha proceeded to undo the monk's robes

"Sango you're so kinky…"

"That's right monk, pretend I'm Sango and you can be my main squeeze."

"Hmmm…You're so good to me, Sango."

"I know I am, in fact, I'm great as you'll soon see."

Inuyasha positioned the sleeping monk properly between his legs.

"Hmmm… don't you know that you're supposed to be bottoming to me?" Still deep in his stupor Miroku managed between hot breaths.

"Not today!" After pondering a moment, the dog demon in a trance added, "Hmm…maybe if you kiss me; I'm horny."

"INUYASHA! SIT!" A deafening roar of Kagome's voice filled the atmosphere and birds fled there nests temporarily, as Miroku woke in a fright, not realizing his extremely loose obi and the inu on top of him.

"W-what happened?" He stuttered hastily.

"You were almost Inuyasha's uke!" yelled Sango, her face all the different shades of red simultaneously.

"W-hat?" he saw the half demon on top of him, treading on the thin line of the conscious and not so conscious.

"Didn't know you were that desperate!" The monk looked at his friend of long time with a mixture of bemused laughter and pity in his eyes, no sign of malice present.

"A hole's a hole, after all," shrugged the dazed demon.

"Would you get off of him!" exclaimed Sango, seemingly have grasped some notion of composure again, as she pulled the horny dog off of the monk. "Stupid monk, didn't you sense him?" Sango muttered, blood rushing to her head once again, "and fix your clothes, you perv!" She finished, glaring at her Houshi-sama.

"No, of course not!" Miroku seemed not to be fazed by any of this, much to the girls' astonishment. "And Sango, what's the point of putting my clothes back on when you're just going to take it off?" She was gaping and so he finished suggestively as he brushed off dust from his clothes, "I don't want you to expend any unnecessary amounts of energy on such trivial things when obviously we can make much better use of that!"

"…"

And Inuyasha slipped silently into the depths of unconsciousness yet again…something he had been doing quite a lot recently.

"Hey what's going on?" Shippo, who was absent from the scene, piped up as he approached the group.

"Miroku got attacked by Inuyasha!" stated Kagome, "and by the way where were you? I thought I told you to look after the camp and Miroku."

"Sorry Kagome but I saw these really interesting leaves and I thought that you and Sango would like them! They smell really really good when you burn them! Poppa used to burn them in the house all the time!" He looked nostalgic as he handed Kagome the leaves.

Unbeknownst to Kagome, she held a handful of leaves worth at least two hundred dollars in her time (daily use of this drug may cause poisoning).

"Umm… thanks Shippo, but that doesn't change the fact that you wandered away from camp and disobeyed us."

"I'm sorry Kagome…"

"It's alright…I guess since no one was hurt…" she excused him as she patted his adorable little head.

Inuyasha now getting up from his beautiful, sexy friend on the ground looked around at his surroundings; quickly he realized the amount of potential partners he had, silently counting them to himself.

Mmm… four of them; the wonders one can do with four partners and a cat.

The horny inu proceeded to pounce on his original prey Kagome only to be stopped by his other good friends Hiraikotsu and the sacred staff. In an instant he met his lifelong partner, the ground, in his favorite place—La La land.

Saturn's notes: Another well written beautiful chapter done by my partner Roentgen or Rheyne-- I forgot she keeps changing it—and myself (dash, underscore, dash). Once again I had to push her to do something but it's all good! By the way don't you all just LOVE Shippo.

Rheyne syas: Umm…I dunno…next update is a long way unless we get a sudden surge of reviews and are coerced into writing more crap…the mild shounen-ai hints weren't that badly taken I hope…and please review; feed back of any kind—praise, criticism, death threats—all are welcome; just let us know what you think!