Chapter 3: The Three Trials

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Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait. Combined with how hectic my schedule's been and the cable being out (making it hard for me to get inspiration from new Billy and Mandy episodes), it just got really hard to get this final chapter out. Hopefully, someone will still enjoy reading it, though.

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The office of the Lord of Life and Death was dominated by a huge oak desk and the Lord himself, of course. There were some interesting totems and pictures hanging on the walls, but Billy and Grim were more focused on the angry and extremely powerful being in front of them.

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" the Lord of Life and Death shouted, "CAN'T AN ENTITY ENJOY HIS LATTE IN PEACE?"

"Let me handle this," Grim hissed to Billy before addressing the cosmic being in front of him, "Oh great and wise Lord of All That Lives and Dies, we, your humble servants, beseech you to . . ."

"Hey, look at all the neat stuff up here!" Billy hollered as he ran around on top of the giant desk. "This coffee cup is huge. I bet I could go swimming in it!" With that Billy jumped into the cup of scalding hot coffee; he jumped back out a half second later screaming in pain.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" the Lord of Life and Death shouted (well, more so than usual).

"Please forgive the boy, Your Excellence," said Grim, down on his knees, "I'm afraid he is quite an imbecile."

"Maybe if I did a cannon ball it would work better," Billy said as he contemplated the coffee cup.

"I GATHERED AS MUCH," said the Lord of Life and Death, "TELL ME WHY YOU'VE COME HERE, FORMER-REAPER."

"Your Highness, regarding the recent decision to strip me of my position," said Grim, "well, it's just not fair!"

"Yeah!" said Billy, thankfully losing interest in the coffee cup, "Being the Grim Reaper is a man's job! Mandy's just a girl; all they can do is cook and clean and run giant corporations from behind the scenes. Not reap souls!"

"Why?" Grim asked himself, "Why do I always bring the stupid one along?"

"HMM," said the Lord of Life and Death, "PERHAPS MY DECISION WAS A TAD HASTY. YOU WERE ONLY TWO MILLION DAYS AWAY FROM RETIREMENT, AFTERALL.

"So you'll reconsider?" begged Grim.

"YES," the Lord replied, "THE GIRL KNOWN AS MANDY MUST FIRST PROVE HERSELF WORTHY OF BEING THE GRIM REAPER."

Instantly Mandy appeared in the office, still bearing the robe and scythe of the Grim Reaper.

"Hey, what's the deal?" she growled, "A guy in Mexico was choking on a burrito." It's then that she spots Billy and Grim. "Oh, it's you two. Should've known."

"MANDY," said the Lord of Life and Death, "IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT MAKING YOU THE GRIM REAPER MIGHT HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE. IF YOU WISH TO PROVE YOURSELF, YOU MUST PASS THREE TRIALS."

"Did those two stooges put you up to this?" said Mandy, pointing at Grim and Billy.

"Look, child," said Grim, "You might think you're all that, but, when it comes to wielding the power of Death, you're out of your league."

"Oh, yeah?" said Mandy, her voice lowering. "Fine, I'll take your stupid trials. I never lose."

"SO IT BEGINS," announced the Lord of Life and Death, "BEHOLD THE FIRST TRIAL: THE KNOT OF A THOUSAND TANGLES!"

With those words a piece of rope materialized in front of Mandy. Most of it was occupied by a giant knot almost as tall as she was.

"YOU MUST STRAIGHTEN THE ROPE IN ORDER TO PASS THE FIRST TRIAL," said the Lord of Life and Death.

"Hmm" said Mandy as she examined the knot. She inspected it closely, plucking at it in a few places, in others merely running her fingers over its many tangles. Then, with a calm look upon her face, Mandy stepped back, grabbed the scythe, and cut the knot in half.

"Hey, that's cheating!" shouted Grim.

"No it's not," said Mandy, picking up the bisected knot, which fell apart into a thousand pieces, "The rope is straight, isn't it? It just happens to be in a few more pieces than before.

"CONGRATULATIONS," said the Lord of Life and Death, "YOU HAVE PASSED THE FIRST TRIAL. AND NOW FOR THE SECOND: YOU MUST SLAY THE LEGENDARY HIPPOGRIFF!"

Suddenly, Mandy vanished from the extra-dimensional office . . .

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. . . and reappeared in the middle of an Ancient Roman stadium. As Mandy took in her new surroundings, a pair of iron doors at the south end of the stadium opened. A great beast, bearing the head and wings of an eagle, but the body of a gigantic horse, stepped out of the doorway and let loose its roar.

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Back in the office . . .

"This is perfect!" shouted Grim, "There's no way Mandy can beat this one. No one has ever, ever, EVER slain the Hippogriff!"

"The Hippogriff's slain," said Mandy, dragging the dead monster's body behind her into the office.

"Oh poop," pouted Grim.

"That's two trials down," said Mandy, "Now tell me what the third one is so I can get back to work."

"WELL, I'M NOT REALLY SURE," admitted the Lord of Life and Death, "NO ONE'S EVER PASSED THE FIRST TWO BEFORE."

"Oh no, this is our last chance Grim!" said Billy.

"I know," the former Grim Reaper replied, "It's got to be something hard. Something that Mandy could never do in a thousand years."

Billy puzzled over their problem and, for one of the few times in his life, got an idea. "Ooh, ooh!" said Billy, who rushed over to the Lord of Life and Death and began whispering in his ear.

"Hey, what are you doing you stooge?" Mandy asked, glowering at Billy.

As Billy finished whispering, the Lord of Life and Death began to chuckle. "I HAVE DECIDED WHAT YOUR FINAL TRIAL SHALL BE," he said, "TO REMAIN THE GRIM REAPER YOU MUST SMILE FOR ME!"

Mandy's jaw dropped with surprise, and a faint bit of hope began to flutter in Grim's eyes. "You must be joking," Mandy said.

"I NEVER JOKE," replied the Lord of Life and Death, "SMILE, OR YOU SHALL BE STRIPPED OF ALL YOUR POWERS."

Mandy took a few deep breaths and gathered her resolve. Then, as her brow furrowed with concentration, the corners of Mandy's mouth began to twitch. She grunted in mental effort, trying to will her frown upside down. Billy and Grim looked on, not daring to breathe.

Come on, Mandy thought to herself, Think happy thoughts. Puppies. Video games. World domination.

She struggled further against her sour disposition until, gasping with exhaustion, she fell to the ground.

"YOU HAVE FAILED," proclaimed the Lord of Life and Death, "YOU SHALL BE STRIPPED OF YOUR DUTIES AND THE FORMER GRIM REAPER WILL RESUME HIS OLD POSITION."

"Yes!" Grim and Billy said together, exchanging a high five.

"No!" shouted Mandy, "I don't lose. I never lose!"

With that she grabbed the scythe and leaped into the air, preparing to take a swing at the Lord of Life and Death. Unfortunately, he easily managed to freeze Mandy in mid-air.

"THE LORD OF LIFE AND DEATH HAS SPOKEN," he announced, "NOW LET ME FINISH MY LATTE IN PEACE!"

Suddenly, Grim, Billy, and Mandy found themselves teleported back to Billy's living room. Mandy was now wearing her usual pink dress, while Grim had regained his black robe and scythe.

"I'm back!" Grim shouted. He then turned to his scythe and began cradling it in his arms. "Did you miss Daddy? Daddy missed you."

Meanwhile, Billy noticed that Mandy's fists were clamped extra-tight and that her snarl was more vicious than usual. "Mandy, are you mad at me cause I told the Lord of Life and Death how to beat you?" he asked innocently.

"Yes!" Mandy shouted, steam practically shooting out of her ears. Her expression then began to cool a little. "On the other hand, I'm usually mad at you about something anyway."

"So, does that mean we're friends again?" Billy asked.

"Sure," said Mandy, shrugging.

"Yay!" shouted Billy, giving her a big hug, "Billy and Mandy together again!"

"And I'm the Grim Reaper again!" Grim shouted, "Now I can get back to doing what I like to do: harvesting souls, sending people on to the afterlife . . ."

"Cleaning my gutters," finished Mandy.

"What?" said Grim.

"Don't you remember?" Mandy asked. "My mom wants me to clean the gutters, which means you better have them finished before she gets home."

"But I was going to . . ." Grim began.

"Now," ordered Mandy.

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Grim sat on top of Mandy's roof, pulling goop out of the gutters.

"I hate being the Grim Reaper," he moaned.

THE END