After his parents chew Seth out the next morning, Ryan pulls him aside. "What?"
"We should talk," Ryan says tensely.
"We should. Pool house?"
"Fine." They make their way out to the pool house and Ryan pulls the door closed. Seth sits down on the end of Ryan's bed and waits for the other boy to talk.
Nothing.
Finally Seth can't stand it anymore. "Well, did you have something you wanted to talk about, or are we just out here to stare each other down?"
"Sorry," Ryan says, a slight smile forming on his lips. "I just wanted to talk about what happened. I hate being angry with you, Seth. Especially since I..."
He trails off.
Especially since I...? Since I whatSeth thinks. He can't allow himself to hope, but there is a big piece of him that thinks Ryan might be about to voice Seth's own feelings. So, Seth being Seth, he eggs Ryan on.
"Since you what?" His voice is too eager, and Ryan backs off.
"Nothing. Never mind." Damn it. Seth keeps forgetting that this is Ryan he's dealing with, and the Seth School of Communication doesn't always work too well with Ryan. If he pushes too hard, Ryan will withdraw.
Unless, of course, Seth says it first. "Well, I."
"What?"
"You said especially since I. I was agreeing. I, too."
"Seth?"
"Yeah?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I don't know. I..." Seth gestures around the room with his hands. "This. Us. Why I left."
Suddenly Ryan is all ears. "So why is that, exactly?"
"Um," Seth starts nervously. "Because you did."
"Yeah, I got that. I thought maybe you had some new light to shed on the subject."
"New light, huh? I guess I can do that. Ryan... you don't understand, do you? Newport isn't home without you in it."
Ryan is clearly disappointed by this response, as much as he tries to hide it. "I know, Seth. You told me that already. I'm like a brother to you. I know. I thought you were going to say... something else."
Seth is fed up with pretending that this tension doesn't exist. "Ryan. Stop telling me without telling me. This is ridiculous. We are nothing like brothers, and you know it." Ryan's face falls at this, and Seth realizes that Ryan thinks he's saying they're not close. "We're so much better than brothers, dude. I mean, come on. Would a brother do this?"
Ryan feels himself being kissed at the same moment that he realizes that Seth is trying to say the same thing he is. His eyes pop open and he stares at the side of Seth's head for a long moment, until Seth pulls away, mumbling, "Sorry."
"Why?"
"Um... I guess I misunderstood. I thought you... never mind. I should really be going now. Can we just pretend this never happened?" Seth sweeps out of the pool house before Ryan has a chance to blink. As soon as he catches his breath and processes what just happened, he's out the door, following Seth up to his room, where the taller boy is lying on his bed, talking to Captain Oats.
Ryan stands in the doorway and listens for a minute; Seth hasn't noticed he's there yet.
"...So I kissed him, which, in retrospect, was an extremely stupid thing to do. I just thought, I don't know, that he might feel the same way. Or something. I don't know what I thought. I mean, why does he think I left? Why would I have left if I didn't love him? I don't know what to do, Captain Oats." Seth's voice is full of emotion and Ryan wants to smother him in kisses to make up for what he just did.
At that moment, Seth looks up and sees Ryan standing there. His face instantly turns red.
"Hi, Ryan."
"Hey." Ryan makes a "can I sit" motion with his hands and Seth nods slightly. As Ryan moves to sit at the end of Seth's bed, Seth says, "So, um, if you heard any of that, I wasn't talking about you. I mean, you probably think I was, because of what just happened and all, but you know, the guys in Portland are pretty hot, and it turns out I'm kinda gay. By which I mean completely and utterly gay. Yeah. But, um, so, that wasn't about you, or us, because I don't like you that way, I mean why would I? You're straight, and I'm not stupid, so I wouldn't..."
"Who were you talking about? Luke?" Ryan's amused.
"Oh, god, ew, don't ever say that again. That's just... gross." Seth makes a sour face and Ryan laughs.
"Would it change anything if I said I liked you that way?"
"Um..." Suddenly nervous, Seth doesn't know what to say. Again.
"I'm sorry, Seth. I didn't mean to make you think that I wasn't into kissing you, because I was... am... I just, you surprised me."
"Okay," Seth says, a huge smile spreading across his face. "So what now?"
"Now I tell you that I've been lost without you and you tell me that you were talking about me and that you left because you're in love with me. And then we take it from there."
"Awfully confident about yourself, aren't you?" Seth teases.
"Seth. I heard what you said."
"Okay, okay. You're right. Fine. I admit it. I'm in love with you. That's why I left."
"That's why I came home," Ryan responds, and Seth just looks at him.
"What about the whole martyr complex thing?"
"It wasn't right, being with Theresa. Not when you were so far away."
"Oh."
Silence descends, and Seth starts talking again. "So. When did you and Summer start hanging out?"
"When I needed a ride to the hospital after Theresa miscarried."
"Dude, that sounds like quite a story."
"It is."
"Okay, so, start from the beginning. Don't leave anything out."
Ryan tells him the whole saga, starting with the day Sandy came to bring him home.
When he finishes, Seth says, "Wow."
"Yeah."
"Ryan? Is this... what are we doing?"
"We're being in love," Ryan answers.
"Well,
yeah, but, I mean, what are we? What do we tell the parents? What
about Summer and Marissa? Not to mention Theresa, if you guys are
still in touch or whatever."
"We're... whatever you want us
to be, Seth."
"Okay. But what about the rest of it?"
"Summer and your mom already know."
"What? How? This just happened. Are they, like, telepathic or something?"
"They know you, Seth."
"Oh. Right. Um. And Dad?"
"I don't know. I assume if Kirsten knows, Sandy knows."
"Dude, when are you going to start calling them Mom and Dad?"
Ryan makes an uncomfortable noise and looks away.
"Anyway."
"Yeah."
Ryan leans over Seth's legs and kisses him gently. It's sweet and just... right, somehow. He scoots up on the bed next to Seth, wrapping his arms around the other boy, and they sit, cuddled into each other, until Kirsten calls them for lunch.