A/N: I wanted to write a one-shot and this is what popped into my head. It's sort of stupid really…. Formatting inspired by Rinaidran Warrior's story "I Dare You".
The Chess Match"It's your move."
"I know, Zelda."
"Then move."
"Silence. You mustn't rush genius."
"Right…."
"Okay, beat that!"
"Is that a challenge?"
"Of course."
"There."
"You can't do that!"
"Yes I can."
"No you can't!"
"Yes I can, Link."
"Says who?"
"The person who invented it."
"Oh."
"It's your turn."
"Can I do this?"
"No."
"What about this?"
"No."
"This?"
"No, Link."
"Well, what can I do?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"When you're fighting in battle, do you tell your enemy what move he should make next?"
"I'm not fighting in battle. I'm playing chess."
"So? Link… stop looking at me like that, I'm not going to tell you where to move."
"Fine."
"Hurry up."
"I got it! Check!"
"Not anymore."
"Hah! You fell right into my trap!"
"Perhaps. But now I have this!"
"No! Not that! Anything but that!! You're evil!"
"Heh heh heh. Yes, I know."
"Zelda… stop stroking my queen, you're scaring me."
"Look… she looks like me."
"No she doesn't, she has no head."
"Whaaat? So I dropped it on the ground when I was two. Marble breaks."
"Why didn't you replace it then?"
"Because… I like pink marble."
"Right…."
"Just make your move."
"Check."
"Checkmate."
"What? How?"
"My pawn is sitting diagonal to your king."
"Oh. Die pawn!"
"You can't do that. Now you're in the path of my bishop."
"Okay then, here!"
"Nope, now my knight can get you."
"I am your knight, how can I get myself?"
"Link, you lost, just admit it."
"No!! NEVER!!"
"ADMIT IT!"
"I know what you can use as a head for your queen."
"What?"
"This."
"Link… that's a walnut."
"Yes. But see, I can draw a little face on it like this and… see, it's you."
"Link, that's not funny! I do not have buck teeth!"
"You do here, because you're transforming into a bunny…"
"I'm going to kill you!"
"You're such a sore loser Zelda!"
"I didn't lose, YOU did!"
"I'm not the one with rabbit teeth! AH! Don't hit me with that, it's marble!"
"Hey, get back here, you coward!"
"You know, that doesn't make any sense. I have the Triforce of Courage, how can I be… OW!"