Broken Promises

Missing scene from "The Goodbye Girl" after Ryan and Theresa sleep together in her hotel room.

"In love there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek" – French Proverb

She was curled up under his arm, breathing softly.

He hadn't seen her like this in months. He sighed with overwhelming tranquility at the sight of her and the events that had taken place only hours ago. Their bare skin having touched as they blended together, coming to ecstasy more than once.

"I love you," he whispered as she slept, her chest moving up and down. He lifted the sheets up, enough to peak at her bare skin. He hadn't forgotten how beautiful she was but as he looked over her naked flesh he flinched with the memories of all the times he'd seen her exposed. It was then, as he traced his fingertips against her hipbone and the valley of her hips, that he realized how much he had truly missed her. Not because she was from Chino and not because she was the only girlfriend he had ever had that he actually loved but because she was Theresa. It was simple but he couldn't explain it to anyone else if he tried. It wouldn't come out the way it felt. The way it felt to be with her; somehow, some way, being with her was the only thing that made sense.

He leaned over, moving his body over hers and kissed her lightly on the cheek. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing. A part of him wanted to let her sleep and the other part of him couldn't sleep with her lying there next to him. Her beautiful body slumping into dreamland and he felt that the past days' events had been a dream. Marissa didn't exist in the hotel room and for the first time since he'd come to Newport, Marissa didn't exist at all. Theresa made him forget the world around him and he needed to tell her, just that. He could feel his emotions escalating as he watched her reawake from her dreams. He straddled her body as she stirred and began to open her eyes, to see him smiling, looking at her in a way she herself had missed.

"Ryan" she breathed stretching her arms and looking out the window. "It's still dark out?" she said as a sort of question. "It is," he smiled watching her expression. "Is everything alright?" she looked under the covers at their naked skin. He answered by leaning forward and kissing her passionately on the lips. She moved the palm of her hands against his face, pulling him closer. As they pulled apart to breathe, he pushed a strand of sweat stained hair away from her forehead.

"I miss you," he whispered choking on his words as he felt his emotional pull towards her growing stronger. She didn't respond, the past few days' events running through her mind. She knew they were acting on their emotional pull towards each other, that would never leave them but it was exactly what had always gotten them in trouble before. "I forgot what this was like," he said, still above her watching her like a hawk. "I didn't," tears formed in her eyes. He knew what she was thinking because he was thinking it too. He rolled off of her and onto the other side of the bed, leaning on his side. She rolled over on her side to face him. "I think I forgot what we were", he stated. She ran her fingers over her lips savoring his last kiss.

She contemplated what he had just said, wondering whether or not she should let him continue or interject her thoughts. "You left me," she finally and practically breathlessly, said blinking, to block the tears from spilling out. His eyes ran over her and he again felt the urge to lift the sheets and comforter up to look at her voluptuous body. Instead he began to think of what he could say but nothing would ever make what he did okay. Instead of pretending, he said, "I did and for that I am so sorry," He filled his head with all the things he had felt when it happened. "There's so much I want to tell you. I just don't know how."

She didn't have to think of a response when she moved closer to him, taking his hand in hers. "It's me, Theresa, the girl you used to chase around the playground, the girl who made you join drama club, the girl you used… to love," she smiled meekly. "I do love you," he spit out, pulling her closer. She let him, falling into his arms. "When everything happened with Trey and then mom, I was in shock and Sandy was there and if he hadn't been I know I would've gone to your house. You know that". He began with his story of the past months. "I wish you had," she looked up at him from the inside of his arms. He squeezed her. "I was wrong. Remember that fight we had two days before Trey and I got busted?" he asked, positive she remembered. "The one where I called you a bastard," she laughed for a moment and then was filled with sadness. "Yea, that one," he felt his chest closing in. "It was different from all our other fights. When you threw that glass at me and told me you never wanted to see me again I believed you." She interrupted him. "I was being dramatic. I didn't think you'd run off and leave Chino."

He pulled her even closer to him, the sound of cars passing the hotel in the distance. He imagined the engines' rumbling noises as music to their conversation. "I know, Theresa, and by the time I realized that, I was with Marissa. Then I came to your house after seeing Trey and it took everything in me not to really apologize. You were still wearing the ring." He breathed softly knowing he could never tell anyone else these things.

"I didn't really know how to act" she leaned her forehead into his chest. "After you two left I threw the ring in the garbage," she paused, feeling a slight pang of regret. "You did?" he questioned in disbelief. He had saved up all his money from work one summer when they were fourteen to buy her a Celtic promise ring that symbolized their relationship to him. "Well you obviously moved on and I wasn't going to be an idiot and keep holding onto the past, Ryan." She responded slightly coldly. He sighed, not wanting to think about it or the fact that she would never wear the ring again on her left ring finger. He felt pain rising in his own chest again. He couldn't place the feeling. It was too surreal. It was enough to make him numb. "You were so nice and polite which by the way didn't make it any easier to deal with." Ryan said.

"Well what was I supposed to do? Act like a bitch?" she asked laughing. "I was only semi-bitchy to you because you drove me nuts a lot of the time." "And most of the time I deserved it," he bluntly stated. "No argument here," she looked back up to see him staring at her intently. "I was wrong that night we fought and I was wrong to leave like that without…" he trailed off. "Saying anything," Theresa finished for him. "Yea," he kissed her forehead as a reflex.

"I forgive you. If someone said, 'come stay with me in Newport' I probably would've done the same." He moved his arm down to her waist again and began to tickle her. "Ow, stop!" she giggled trying to push his hands away. "You know what I mean," she yelled assured that if there was anyone in the next room they had already been woken up. "I know but I'm still an asshole", he rested his hand on her waist, running his thumb against her skin. "It's in your nature," she elbowed him in the chest. "I learned from the best", he reached to the side of the bed for her cigarettes. "I thought you quit," she moved her body upwards leaning on both elbows, her breasts laying tenderly in his view. "Well I obviously haven't quit all my bad habits," he lit up a cigarette and then took a drag slowly savoring the taste of nicotine. "I was never a bad habit," she retaliated at his comment that obviously referred to her. She lifted herself up enough to be eye to eye with him. She opened her lips knowing he hadn't forgotten their bedroom rituals. He placed the cigarette to her lips. She sucked in deeply and held the smoke in until he moved the cigarette away from her mouth.

"I don't know about that," he smiled as she began to climb on top of him like a tiger hunting her prey. He didn't protest. This was what he had woken her up for and as she kissed his neck he knew as soon as their lips met, all the time apart would vanish. He wanted to tell her he loved her but the words wouldn't form upon his lips and so he stayed silent only gasping for air in between their kisses. "I love you," she whispered with tears in her eyes. There was pain there. Pain he had caused. He knew one day he would make it up to her. She deserved more than what he had given her most of their lives. He pulled her close, their kisses growing more passionate by the minute. "I need you," he breathed. She started to breath heavier. It was the truth. They both knew it because there wasn't a day that passed that the need faltered. They quickly fell into each other bodies and for the time being, Ryan and Theresa forgot the story of his leaving Chino and leaving her behind.