Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies. Wish I did, but I don't. Disney does.

"Isn't it cool?"

I looked up from my homework to see my boyfriend Ivan, better known as Dutchy, staring intently at the television screen. "What's cool?"

"Not only do I have a hurricane named after me, but it's at a category five. Do you know how many kids will be blessing my name when school is cancelled for them?"

"Do you know how many people will curse your name after their houses are destroyed?"

Dutchy rolled his eyes. "Well, of course it sounds bad when you put it that way." The two were sitting in the small living area/kitchen of the tiny apartment they shared. They had both been following the track of Hurricane Ivan, especially now as it neared the area of New Orleans. "Specs, hun," Dutchy interjected. "UNO is going to be closed until Friday. It's pointless for you to do it right now."

"You don't know. They may change their minds or something," I replied, though not convincingly. "Besides, I'll have to do it eventually. Better sooner than later."

"Whatever."

I shook my head with a grin and returned to my physics homework. "So where exactly are we going to go when we evacuate?"

"I'm really not sure I'm to evacuate."

"I mean, you've lived here your whole life so I figured you..." My head snapped up. "What? How can you not know whether or not you are going to evacuate?!? We have a category 5 hurricane coming right for us!"

Dutchy looked up in amusement. "Yeah, right now. But the storm isn't set to hit until late Wednesday night. If it's still a category 5 on Wednesday morning, and still headed toward us then we can evacuate then. But for now, it'll just be best just to watch the weather reports and wait."

"But by then it may be too late."

"Specs, we will have time to evacuate if we need to. Besides, if we evacuate now, we're just going to end up stuck in a crap-load of traffic."

"But–"

"Don't worry. I know what I'm talking about, believe me. I mean, why should we inconvenience ourselves just because there's a chance that it may hit us."

"Because if it does hit us, we could be killed," I retorted.

"So let's wait and just watch the news. Unless we will definitely be hitting us, I'm not going to just pack up and leave. As far as I'm concerned, Hurricane Ivan can kiss my ass." As thought to prove his point, Dutchy through open a nearby window and stuck his bare buttocks out. "Ya hear that? You can kiss my overly pale white ass!"

I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and yanked him back in. "Don't do that! Our neighbors already think we're weird as it is." I looked out the still open window to see an old woman in the apartment across from ours whose eyes were open in shock. "Uh...hey Mrs. Schneider! Lovely day isn't?" I stammered out. The offended woman slammed her window shut, though continued to glare.

"Stupid old hag," Dutchy muttered angrily. He glanced out the window. "You know, it's so fucking hot outside, you'd never guess we had a hurricane coming our way."

I looked at him. "Look, you can stay if you want, but I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah, you and everyone else in New Orleans."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see. Tomorrow the highway will be packed bumper to bumper with traffic."

Truth be told, the news the next day depicted heavily congested traffic of those people rushing to evacuate.

"See?" Dutchy said smugly. "You should listen to me."

I knew he was right. Hell, I didn't even need to watch the news to know that. A glance out the window showed a mass of cars.

"There is heavy traffic on the I-10 and those evacuating are urged to wait until it clears up," the voice spoke from the television. "Right now, the average time to reach Baton Rouge is four hours."

"Four fucking hours!?!" I cried.

"Yeah," Dutchy laughed. "Won't it be funny if those people have to wait in that traffic and then it turns out we don't get hit?"

"Hilarious," I said dryly. "Speaking of which, what's the latest news about the hurricane?"

"Well, it's now a category 4 and they think it might turn and go more north than north west."

"Might? Until they're positive, I think we should evacuate."

He snorted. "Hey, if you want to sit through that crap, be my guest."

"Well, better to leave now than to wait and regret it."

"Specs, hun, if it does look like we're getting a direct hit, we'll still have time to leave tomorrow morning. It's the impatient people like you that cause the shit-load of traffic."

I pouted, still not completely convinced. "If this thing kills me, I swear I'm gonna come back and haunt you."

He grinned and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Aww, it'll be fun. You. Me. Sitting in the dark while strong winds blow a bunch of shit around."

"Oh please! If we stay during the hurricane, the last thing on my mind will be sex!"

"I don't know. We may lose power. We'll have to find ways to entertain ourselves."

That was the wrong thing to say. "Holy shit! I forgot about losing power! What are we going to do without power? We won't be able to use the microwave, or the stove, or the toaster, or..."

"Specs," Dutchy interrupted my babbling, "we will be ok. It is possible to live without electricity." He shook his head, obviously amused by my current state of mind. "You act as though I'm not going to be prepared. We'll stock up on food; we'll get candles and flashlights together; we'll make sure we have batteries. It's not quite the catastrophe you're making it out to be."

"Dutchy!" I called. "Come look at this."

He came out from his room, somewhat peeved at being called away from whatever he was doing. "What?" I gestured toward the television. "That's Mayor Nagin. What's your point?"

"He's saying that we should evacuate. He's the fucking mayor. Don't you trust that?"

Snatching the remote from my hand, he switched to the weather channel. "They're saying it looks like Ivan may move and barely brush us. They're getting their info from meteorologists. I trust that." And with that, he returned to his room.

Damn him for being right.

It was seven in the morning. I think I had slept for maybe four hours. Certainly less that I was used to. I grabbed the suitcase I had packed the day before and crept out to the living area, trying not to wake Dutchy. I found my efforts had been futile when I found Dutchy sitting on the couch, eating breakfast, and watching the weather report.

"They're saying it's moving to the east now," he said when I came out. "It's only going to brush us a bit."

I nodded. "Well, I'd rather be on the safe side."

"Ok," he replied. "I hope you have fun."

"I will. I'll call you when I get there." He nodded, but made no attempt to move. "It's not too late to come with me if you want to."

"Nah. I think I'll just ride it out here."

I made my way to the door. "Well, I'm gonna go."

"Ok."

"I think this is the best choice."

"I understand."

"Nothing you can say will make me change my mind."

"I wouldn't try to."

"Well, bye."

"Bye."

And with that I closed the door behind me.

When I entered again, forty seconds later, I found him in the same position I had left him. He didn't look up when I entered, but I'm positive I saw a smug grin on his face.

As I fell onto the couch next to him, I grabbed a piece of sausage from his plate. "I really hate you, you know that?"

"I think you've mentioned it once or twice in the past few days."

I looked at the clock. 4:15. It felt more like 8:00. "So when is the hurricane going to get here?" I whined slightly.

"We'll probably start to really feel it later tonight."

"Why aren't we watching the news anymore?"

"What's the point? We know what to really expect now. We can just keep checking back. Besides, I think Trigger Happy TV is a little more entertaining."

I had to agree with him there. Looking outside, I noticed something. "It sounds like it's raining out there, but I don't see any rain."

"That's the wind."

"That's a pretty fucking strong wind!"

"We're catching the edge of a hurricane? What do you expect?"

I decided not to justify that with an answer. Instead, I opened the window to take a look for myself. I was met with a huge blast of wind. "Seriously. Winds like this could blow our apartment away."

"Maybe we'll land on a witch and I'll be made the hero of Oz."

"What about me?"

"You can be my faithful dog."

I glared at him. "Dude, you suck!"

"Only you, I swear!"

I swatted his shoulder. "Asshole."

"Yeah, I'm the asshole who saved you from pointless hours of sitting in traffic."

"That still has yet to be proven," I scoffed, closing the window.

"You know," he began with a sly smile, "maybe the hurricane will wipe everyone out and we'll be the only survivors. It'll be up to us to reproduce.

I rolled my eyes. "Such a wonderful thought. Let's watch the news and see what Ivan's doing."

"Noooo!" he whined. "MXC is coming on soon."

"Don't you care about the huge storm which may be heading straight for us?" He responded with a small pout. I sighed. "You're damn lucky you're so cute."

Grinning, he switched over to Spike TV just in time to hear the opening remarks of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano.

I can't recall when we fell asleep. I know I woke up to find Dutchy's head in my lap and the TV still on. I stretched out my slightly cramp neck as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I approached the window, expecting to see the Apocalypse; houses destroyed, cars and bodies everywhere, trees uprooted. However, with the exception of a few tree branches in the street, nothing looked disturbed. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, and the birds were chirping jubilantly. You'd have never guessed we'd experienced a hurricane. Or the brush of a hurricane at least.

Two arms encircled my waist firmly. "Looks nice out here," Dutchy yawned, resting his chin on my shoulder "We didn't even lose power last night."

"You are shitting me!"

He held his hands up in defense. "I'm not. May God strike me down if I'm lying!"

I checked my watch against every clock in the apartment. "Well I'll be damned," I muttered.

"See? Now aren't you glad we didn't leave?"

I nodded. "I hate to admit it...but you were right."

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you." He smiled. He was enjoying this.

I groaned, knowing how much gloating was going to ensue. "You were right. There was no need to evacuate."

"Well, now we can wear T-shirts that say 'I survived Hurricane Ivan.'"

"Technically, we didn't," I pointed out. "I mean, it didn't really hit us or anything."

He gave me an exasperated sigh. "You...and your...technicalness...stuff." He kissed my cheek. "Come on, we can go out for breakfast."

"Where will we go?"

"Arabi Diner. They're always open." He went off to get dressed.

I had been so fucking scared. And for what? Strong winds and slight rain? Strangely enough, I felt a little gypped. Like my worrying should have been quenched with a few fallen telephone poles and some broken windows. There had been so much hype. 35 inches of rain; floods; New Orleans would be blown away.

"Ready?"

I turned to see Dutchy slipping on his shoes. "Hey, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What?"

"Next time a hurricane comes, you'll be there to help me not freak out?"

He grinned and kissed me softly. "Anytime. That's what boyfriends are for."

::sticks middle finger into the air:: Ya see this Ivan? If not, maybe you'll hear this: FUCK YOU! Don't you dare come into my town!

Dutchy: Uh...your readers are staring...

Oh! Sorry! Anywho, hope you enjoyed it. Not 100 true, but pretty damn close. The traffic really was bumper to bumper. And the damage really was just strong winds and slight rain (where I live anyway). And we really did not lose power.

Specs: And she really did "survive" it.

Shut up! Anywho, tell me what you thought. Maybe in a nifty review! Much love to you all! blows kisses