Shi's Having a Baby

A Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic by Dustin Dixon

Disclaimer:YYH does not belong to me. If it did, something akin to this would actually have happened. With that said, let's get on with this story.

Bright lights flood the nighttime street as an oafish, orange-haired man walked down the sidewalk, contemplating the events that took place earlier that day.
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me. Kurama's going to move in."
"But why?!"
"Well, you have no idea how to take care of a baby, do you?"
"Why are you asking that?! Wait........."
"Uh...Kazuma? Your eye's twitching."
".........YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Could you please not yell?!"
"...Okay, fine. Sure. Nerves of steel, Sis. So, you're pregnant..."
"Yep. That's about the size of it."
"And Kurama's moving in, WHY?"
"Shouldn't the baby's father be taking care of it?"
"So wait...you...and Kurama..."
"...Yep."
"...YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Would you stop it already?! That's annoying."
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's just...imagining you getting pregnant by one of my friends...that's really weird...so, you two gonna get married?"
"I guess. We never really talked about marriage.""DON'T START THAT IDIOTIC SCREAM AGAIN."
"Wasn't gonna do that."
"I bet you weren't."
"I'm gonna go for a walk. I need to think."
Back to the present, a horrible, wretched thought crossed the young man's mind. Well, several thoughts, actually. Crying, screaming, dirty diapers...it was then that Kuwabara Kazuma did what he does best. Freak out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
He charged full-on down the empty sidewalk, screaming at the top of his lungs.
"WE ARE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEE!!!"
As he charged down the street, his regular vision was replaced by his own "predictions" of the future. There stood a demon child, its fangs bared. Kuwabara was unsure of its gender, nor did he care. The thing was biting the crap out of him. His "prediction" then changed to his room, now decorated with evil, cutesy, non-cat stuff. His last thought was of Kurama in his Youko form, sitting at the kitchen table, sneering evilly at him. As he jolted back into reality, he found himself at a familiar house.
"Whoa. How'd I end up at Urameshi's?!"
The orange-haired man figured he might as well stop in and consult Keiko, or at least her idiot husband, Yusuke, his eternal rival. He knocked a couple of times, and for a few minutes, he was alone...he felt alone in the world. His sister had kept him in the dark about her delicate condition. He was seperated from his own significant other by miles and miles. And to top it off, the sound of thunder signified that he would soon be taking an involuntary shower. Or, so it would have appeared, as just then, the door was opened, and Keiko stood there,
looking surprised, among...other...things.
"GEEZ! Is every girl I know going to get knocked up without my knowledge?!"
"Huh? oh. This?"
Keiko simply pulls out a large bag of brownies.
"I had a hold of these when I heard you knocking on the door. I didn't have time to put them down, so..."
"Oh. Thank God. Last thing we need in this world's another Yusuke Urameshi!"
"Speaking of Yusuke, he's upstairs."
"Actually, Keiko...I need to talk to you."
"Really? Well, okay. Oh, please come in!"
Keiko guided Kuwabara to the living room sofa, upon him getting inside,
and her closing the door.
"Thanks Keiko."
"So, what did you need to come see me about?"
"I assume you haven't heard the news about my sister yet, otherwise you wouldn't be asking me that question."
"What?! Something happened to Shizuru?!"
"Yes! Something horrible! She's...PREGNANT!"
"Kuwabara, that's wonderful! Why would you say that's horrible?"
"Because of the fact that Kurama's its father!"
"And that's bad...why? I've known for a while that those two were dating in secret. What's so bad about Kurama?"
"Uhh..."
The oafish man sat there and tried to think of even the tiniest thing to find wrong with Kurama, but.
"Nah. I've got nothing."
"You should be happy for your sister. She's finally found a worthwhile man, and she's gonna be a mother, and you're gonna be an uncle..."
"That's just it, Keiko! I don't think I'm ready to be an uncle!"
"Is anyone EVER ready for a baby to come into their lives? No. We just have to learn to adapt, that's all. It's perfectly natural for you to be edgy about someone extremely unexpected coming so suddenly into your life."
"Wow. Why aren't you a psychologist?"
"I enjoy being a wife. Being here for Yusuke is what gives me happiness."
Suddenly, Kuwabara's watch was beeping.
"Oh crap! It's eight o'clock already?! I gotta get home and feed Eikichi!"
"Alright. I'm honored that you came to me for help."
"Look, thanks for your help, Keiko. I really appreciate it."
"Any time. Oh, and you were right in your original assumption as well."
The orange-haired spirit detective looked at her quizzically for a few seconds. Keiko then put on a little smile.
"Seven more months."
It suddenly dawned on Kuwabara what she had meant.
"YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
A few hours later, Kuwabara was lying on his bed, trying to get to sleep,
and therefore forget today. "Today was just a bad dream. Yeah, that's it...nothing but a bad dream."
Then, a thought drifted into his head that had yet to occur before now.
A thought which he had shunned, for whatever reason... "Wait...Keiko KNEW about them dating?!"
Soon enough, though, Kuwabara drifted off to sleep, sure enough, forgetting what happened today. He was blissfully unaware of the hell that would occur for the next nine months...