Author's Note—Before you delve into the actual story just below, I urge you to take a moment to read this so you'll know where I'm coming from and why the story you've just clicked on even exists. I'm going to start out by being frank and honest. I am probably the most unqualified person in the world to write HA fanfiction. I've been with the series for, oh, about 24 hours now. I've watched only one episode and the movie. In fact, originally I planned to draft this meager idea into a nice one-shot story over time. However, I've decided to throw caution to the wind and write the whole thing now. Why? Because I largely consider this an experiment. The series is very intriguing and well done, full of that spark of life that makes the characters real. Writing this now allows me to take a night or two off from my popular Weekenders series, "Awakening."
Okay, by now you're thinking that here I am, unloading a story on an unsuspecting fandom because I need a break from writing something else. Yeah, this thing should be just great. Well, I'm hoping it will be. While I'm quite certain I'll make some flaws and errors in character presentation, I'm hoping to sell this story as is on my name alone. Some of you are probably here for different reasons. Some of you are reading this because I told you "Hey, I wrote something new, go check it out." A few of you may be here because you just enjoy reading anything I post here at FFN. But I'm guessing the vast majority of you are here because you were just perusing through the site and said to yourself "Oh, there's another new HA story. I wonder if it's any good?" Well, you're about to tell me. This story has been uploaded to FFN without pre-reading of any kind. It is solely my experiment. Now granted, even if I make mistakes here, I'm confident that the writing itself is good enough to entertain you. I don't pretend to be a best-selling author, but I've been in the fanfiction game long enough to know when I've written something bad, and I can assure you that I always prevent such sub-par material from making its way to your eyes.
Sorry, I know I've been sounding like a pompous oaf through these notes, but I just wanted to give everyone the opportunity to know what they're getting into beforehand. As this story is basically me going out on a limb, I'd really appreciate your reviews and feedback. Even if you find it vile and horrid, I won't take offense. I'm playing darts near blindfolded and trying to come as close to the bullseye as I can, so knowing whether I'm warmer or colder would be a tremendous help.
Lastly, as I'm sure you'll quickly realize, this story takes place just a few weeks following the events of the movie.
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Hey Arnold!: The Sweet Hereafter
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Part I: The Sweet Hereafter
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"It takes only a
minute to get a
crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to
love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone."
--Unknown
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The last week of summer is, perhaps, the saddest point of the year for the young ones, except maybe for Christmas night, the point of the year that lay farthest from the next holiday season. But in those twilight days of summer vacation, there isn't much left to do but contemplate what was accomplished in one of the largest periods of free time one had. As Arnold and Gerald walked down familiar streets at dusk, each felt a feeling of accomplishment. Their summer had been the greatest yet, but there weren't many kids who could write their traditional first composition of the coming school year, "How I Spent My Summer Vacation," about having saved an entire neighborhood. Sure, it was old, and run down, but it was home.
Arnold occasionally looked at the sites around him, noting the signs of destruction that still hadn't been cleared. But no matter the condition of the sidewalks, life churned on, and each day was another chance to make the world a better place. Sometimes a big project, like keeping the homes of one's friends and loved ones from being bulldozed, was in order; but Arnold normally preferred to do it one person, one problem at a time. It went against basic human instinct, but Arnold hoped to see the concept of "paying it forward" take root within his lifetime.
"I think you're ball's going flat again." Gerald said as they entered the block where the old boarding house that Arnold called home was located.. "I mean, uh, it just needs a little air." He revised after seeing the look Arnold gave him.
Arnold shook his head to clear it. "No, you're right. It's going flat." He sighed. "I guess we're going to have to break down and get a new one."
"What happened to looking on the bright side?" Gerald asked.
"Sometimes you have to temper optimism with realism." Arnold explained. "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, I guess." He chuckled. "I guess we better look for a new one tomorrow."
"What's all this we stuff?" Gerald asked. "It's your ball!"
"Gee, thanks for your unwavering support, Gerald." Arnold sighed again.
"Ah, I'm just messin' with you. We'll get a new one together. . .Hey! Remember this?!" Gerald jerked his thumb in the direction of the overpass, where their runaway bus had crashed on their desperate race against time to keep Sheck's bulldozers at bay. "This is where it all ended. Man, that was some night."
"You don't even know the half of it." Arnold replied wistfully, as a series of very confusing moments on the rooftop balcony of FTI came unbidden. Concentrating on the here and now, Arnold mentally grouped all the thoughts into a box and set them aside. He prided himself on having managed to avoid Helga almost entirely for the last several weeks, but it was still something he knew he had to deal with. Maintaining the status quo was all well and good, but there was still some lingering guilt in Arnold's mind that perhaps in his effort to make things easier on both of them, he may have done the girl a disservice. It was a moral dilemma that held no easy answers, and it also involved broaching a subject which was awkward in the least, mind boggling in the extreme.
"Are you kidding me?" Gerald asked. "I was the one driving the runaway bus, the real life runaway bus, through all that horror! You and Helga only had to work the pedals."
"You're right, I'm sorry for assuming. It was just. . .a rough night." Arnold explained. "But hey, we got the job done, and that's what matters."
"Darn right man. And after all that, I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same again. If nothing else, it's a story I'll have to tell well I'm as old as your Grandpa. It was like, I don't know, pure! We did it all for the love!"
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Part II: I Go To Extremes
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"Out of the darkness,
into the light
Leaving the scene of the crime
Either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right every time
Sometimes I lie awake, night after night
Coming apart at the seams
Eager to please, ready to fight
Why do I go to extremes?"
--Billy Joel
"I Go To Extremes"
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"Ok, so maybe it's true. I do go to extremes. It's my nature. Maybe I wouldn't have to if it weren't for him. I liked the way my life was before. Sure, far from ideal, but I understood it, I coped with it. Now it's like everytime I turn around, I feel like I should be punishing someone. Is it normal to hate someone because you love them? No, I can't be the only case. Just the only one that matters. All I ever wanted was for my life to make sense, is that too much to ask? Maybe so. The universe doesn't do favors for those of us who choose to make it a tougher place to live in. Then again, the say that fortune favors the bold, right? But enough of that."
"You know you're in trouble when you spend half a summer night on the roof, looking up at the stars and wondering if you're crazy. The alarm bells went off from me when I realized I've stopped caring whether or am I not. Sometimes I think I'm like one of those killers you see in the movies, the kind that one day picks up an axe and just takes out their whole family, then their friends, and then she just starts going after random people that remind her of the ones that made her that way. But that might be kind of messy."
"I don't hide my secret very well. But I guess I've never really had to. My magnificent Arnold is just oblivious enough for me to stalk him with relative impunity. Either I get a lot of breaks, or he just doesn't see what he doesn't want to see. I used to think that couldn't be possible, but ever since FTI. . .I can't be certain anymore."
"It's the hardest thing in the world. When you meet someone who through no great effort manages to be everything you're not with ease, what else are you supposed to feel but envy and rage? That's what no one else ever gets. I don't just lash out at him as a cover for what I really feel. There are times when he just really pisses me off for being a better person than I could ever hope to be. And then I realize that I could never stay mad at his bravery and eloquence, and then I get angry with him again for not being able to stay angry with him."
"No matter what I do, there's no in-between. I always love him. I frequently hate him. And one of these days, I'm probably going to go out of my mind. I could live with that. It's knowing that I have no one to blame for things but myself that's hard. But somehow I just keep going on with the facade, and I don't know how to stop. And some day, someone might expose me for the fraud I really am, and then what will happen to me? Will I lose control in anger, bare my soul to him or anyone that will listen, or just revel in the crumbling of my wall and beg Arnold to look upon my works?
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Part III: "Memento Mori"
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"Memento Mori. . .Remember you will die."
--Lemony Snicket
"A Series Of Unfortunate Events Volume 5: The Austere Academy"
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Love is the one thing I didn't want to talk about. What happened between myself and Helga Pataki was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. I still don't know what to make of it, no matter how many times I analyze it. The timing was all wrong, true, but I should've been more supportive. But I got caught up in the fear of the moment and backed off. Now I worry about what I've done. Arnold lightly kicked a loose stone in front of him as he contemplated the gravity of the situation. Gerald waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention. "All right, out with it Arnold. Why is it that every other time I've seen you over the last few months, you get this far off look like you're on some other planet."
Arnold blinked twice to clear the cobwebs out of his mind. "What? Oh, trust me Gerald. It's not something you'd want to know about, or even believe."
"You know that makes me want to hear it even more." Gerald insisted.
"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you." Arnold replied hesitantly.
Five minutes and several laughing fits later, Gerald finally got his giggles under control when he realized the situation was serious. "So you're for real? This really happened?!"
Arnold nodded solemnly. "So good for you! You got through it and don't seem the worse for wear, right? Things stayed normal, Helga still hates you, and all's right with the world."
"It's not that simple." Arnold sighed. "The truth of the matter is I don't really know what to do, but I have to help Helga somehow. I behaved badly, and I think I really hurt her."
"How? You didn't shoot her down or anything. Things stayed the same."
"Exactly. Think about it. In a moment of passion and suspense, Helga tells me she loves me and always has. And what do I do? Nothing. I just stood there and let it happen, confused and frightened and not knowing what I'm supposed to do. And then when the battle was over and we saved our neighborhood, I offered her an out and she snatched it up like the last piece of candy. I barely even acknowledged her feelings. Who knows how long she took to say that, and now I've gone and driven it back inside her."
"So you do like her?" Gerald asked.
"I don't know." Arnold answered. "I can say that despite all the things she's done to me, I don't hate her or anything. But I never even considered the thought of liking her in that way. But now I worry I've hurt her feelings and damaged something that's good about her. I know how cruel she can be, and I can't help but feel that instead of nurturing that, I stoked the fires of anger and hatred within her."
"She has been mysteriously absent lately." Nodded Gerald.
"I've been trying to avoid her because I don't know what I should do. Plus I was afraid that if she saw me, it might make her angrier. I think. . .I need to know why. Having all that thrown at me was just too much information too fast, I just kind of shut down on her. I need to know why she loves me. Worse, I think she needs to know why. I can't possibly accept or refuse her feelings until I know more about them. But that would mean talking to her."
"You could always wait until school starts, she'll be pretty unavoidable then."
"I suppose a few more days couldn't make things any worse." Arnold agreed.
"Hey, if anyone has earned the right to sit around and stew for awhile, it's her." Gerald argued. "She's dished it out to us too many times to count."
"Maybe so, but I'm not going to respond in kind. I'm going to respond in kindness." Arnold smiled.
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-Part IV: "I Kissed An Angel"
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"I do know that for
the sympathy of one living
being, I would make peace with all. I have love in
me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and
rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I
cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."
--The Creature
"Frankenstein"
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"I kissed an angel once. The memory is still near enough that I can recall it with clarity. For the one brief instant in time, the world made sense and I understood everything and for the first time that I can really remember, I was happy. The feeling began to fade moments later when I realized he hadn't kissed me back. Perhaps that's my fault for coming on too strong. Or maybe I'm just unlovable. Criminey, I hope and pray it's the first one, otherwise I'm really up a creek."
"You really need a system if you're going to make the whole thing work. Lying to others isn't very difficult. Most people believe what they want to believe. Plausibility remains the key. But lying to yourself, now there's a difficult thing to do. Especially if you want to feel blissfully unaware of the lie. Me, I lie to myself all the time. It's much more preferable than telling the truth. But if you wake up every morning and convince yourself that you're loved, then you are. Doesn't matter how true it is or not. The human mind is susceptible enough to believe you, that's the beauty of it."
"Okay, so Arnold isn't quite the type of angel that meets on pinheads with his brethren. But what does it matter? He's an angel to me. No one really understands how amazing he truly is. He drives me crazy. I guess everyone has their virtues."
"I often wonder what I should've done differently. I couldn't plan everything! I was just so relieved when I finally told him and then nothing came of it at all. What was I thinking? Probably just looking for attention as usual. Getting attention isn't very difficult at all if you're willing to get a little creative."
"People don't often think of me as a woman. It must be my aggressive side shining through. I've tried so many times to get him to notice me on my own, but the whole freaking world's against me, I swear! Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever wake up from my nightmare, and then I realize my alarm is going off and I have to face another day at school. More lies to feed and noses that need punching. But I show up anyway. Beats sitting around the house with Miriam and Big Bob. But somehow, even through all the lying to myself I do every day just to get through, I feel like something's missing. I don't know why I'm like this. I should be stronger. But what's the point of putting up a strong front when he's already managed to get inside and there's nothing left to protect me?
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Part V: Such Great Heights
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"They will see us waving
from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay..."
--The Postal Service
"Such Great Heights"
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It was the first Friday back at school when Arnold scheduled an unavoidable confrontation with his nemesis and new project. This year, Helga's locker held the currently convenient yet possibly dangerous convenience of being only across the hall and one island down from Arnold's own.
"What do you want, football-head?" Helga asked snidely when he sidled up next to her and kept staring without saying anything. Curiously, she sounded like she was in even less of a mood to deal with him today than she was most of the time.
"I was thinking, about the summer. We almost lost it all. Gerard and I worked as hard as we could, but you really came through for us Helga. I never properly thanked you for that."
"Yeah, well, my life would be pretty boring without having you to push around."
"I'm sure." Arnold smiled. "Anyway, I thought you should know, I thought about what you said, and if you can tell me why sometime, we should talk about it."
Helga's head banged into the top shelf of her locker in shock at that comment. She yelped in pain and rounded on Arnold. "I have no idea what nonsense you're talking about! No will you get out of her before I punt your useless head down the hallway!"
"Sure Helga." Arnold smiled back at her calmly. "We'll talk about it another time." Arnold held his smile, turned around, and walked in the direction of his next class.
As soon as Arnold was safely away, Helga yanked out a notebook and began feverishly composing yet another poem, contemplating everything that she did for love.
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FIN
Afterword
I'm not exactly sure what this fic is, now that I'm done with it. But it's here to be widely quoted or mocked, or both, whichever you prefer. I'm sure it's far from perfect, but I hope that you found it an enjoyable read anyway. If you didn't like it, fear not, as I doubt I'll be doing another fic for HA for some time to come. It's not that I don't enjoy it, but I'm just involved in my fic for "The Weekenders" (shameless plug) and I just can't take on more than that at this time.
Again, this was all one weird experiment for me, but I'm dying to know if it was a good read or not, so please take a moment to leave me a review. Or even drop me an e-mail, or look for me on AIM. Whatever's easiest.
Don't forget to tip your servers on the way out. And as always, please send you questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to
Lord Malachite
09/14/04
4:29AM, EST
E-mail:
AIM: Asukaphile26