How to Bring up a Child in Ten Days

Summary - Lily. James. Married. Child. These are the words I never thought I'd hear in the same sentence, and yet...Yes, I'm James Potter's wife for ten days!! My living nightmare has only just begun...and I'm only in sixteen!!R/R pls

Author's Note - Hi! It's me again!! With another fic! Quite different from the the other ones that I wrote... Welcome to my very first try at HUMOUR!! hehey... so try not to be too harsh and please read and review! The first paragraph is from Lily's POV and the following others are just general POV, k?

Well, hope you'll enjoy! )

Disclaimer - Anything you recognise is not mine, else it's mine!

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My name is Lily Evans and I'm a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. When I enrolled for my sixth year there, I was envisioning something like studying, moments of fun and laughter with my best friend Lennie Brown, studying, being a model student, more studying, being responsible and...oh yes, some more studying uhm, nerd? Who me?

I was planning a year smooth and calm.

Stupid fate decided otherwise...

Now, have you ever gone "speechless" in your life? One of my friends, Missy Lewis once asked me this question. I replied "no".

Well, ask me again Missy!

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It was Friday and she was in Sociology class, running through her textbook while waiting for the teacher, Professor Lewinsky to arrive, when someone placed his hand on her shoulder.

It made her jump and nearly squeal. She turned around to find a familiar face smirking down at her. 'Wow, so I do have some effect on you then, Evans.'

She glared at her interlocutor as he sat down on the seat behind her. 'What the hell are you doing here, Potter? This is Sociology class.'

'Really?' James Potter asked, frowning slightly as if confused.

'Yeah,' she snapped. 'Divination is down the hall, up the staircase, turn left, walk down the hall and again up another staircase, turn right and up the ladder. Hard to miss. You better hurry up cause Professor Lewinsky will arrive at any moment.'

But instead of leaving, he made himself even more comfortable in his seat. 'Good, if this is Sociology class, I'm in the right room. But hey, thanks for worrying about me.'

'Right cla – No,' she said as she understood. 'You are not – you can't be... Potter, you can't be in this class!'

'And why's that?' James asked calmly.

'Because I'm in it!' she replied. 'You should be with your friends in the Divination Class!'

'I was...until I decided that Divination is just rubbish! I decided to change class,' James said. 'Turns out I'm interested in Sociology.'

'You can't just drop a class like that!' she said. 'Dumbledore – '

'Dumbledore has allowed me to join this class,' James smirked. The Horrible Him waited for a few seconds, as if to relish on the horror written over her face as the information sunk into her. 'I'm in the same class as you Evans, whether you like it or not. So deal with it.'

She was opening her mouth to retort something when Professor Lewinsky came in. Instantly, all the conversations ceased and every student watched silently as the teacher made her way to the front of the room.

The class then started, with Lily sulking in front of James. How could that be? He was her worst nightmare, the dirt underneath her shoes, the knot in the hair that she couldn't disentangle and the Butterbeer stain on her brand new white robe.

And now, she had to share, yet, another class with him. Support him for even more time than necessary.

'It doesn't hurt you when we're in classes like Transfiguration together. So why does it bother you now?' James whispered to her from behind.

'I'm trying to follow,' she retorted. I can't believe it, she thought. Of all classes, he chose this one.

'Why?' James insisted.

'Shut up.' she whispered back.

There was a minute's silence and she was gladly thinking she had won this battle. But the next minute, she received a hard poke in her back.

'Ow!' she shouted, looking around at him.

He merely shrugged as if to say that he was innocent but she saw the twinkle in his eyes and his smirk.

'Ms Evans, is there anything wrong?'

She felt her cheeks burn as she stammered an excuse to Professor Lewinsky. She glared at James one last time before turning around in her seat. This just added one more reason on her list entitled "Why I hate James Potter".

'So will you answer now?' James asked her when Professor Lewinsky had indulged into another session of explanation.

'Or what?' she asked.

'I'm sure Lewinsky won't appreciate that you disturb her class twice for nothing,' James answered.

She could almost see him leering behind her. 'Why is it so important to you?' she asked, staring straight ahead of her.

'I just want to know.'

'Fine,' she sighed. 'Ask again?'

'Why does it bother you that we're in this class together when we are in classes like Charms together? It doesn't seem to bother you that much then.'

'You really want to know?' she asked. 'Well, it's because these classes that we have together are obligatory – we have to have them together: unfortunately, we're in the same house. But this one Potter. It is a choice. And I can't believe you made the same choice as me.'

'Maybe we think the same,' James said.

She snorted. 'Oh please.'

'Why – '

She turned around. 'Potter, shut up, will you? I don't want to have to endure anymore of your little questionnaire okay?' she snapped.

'Ms Evans!' she heard Professor Lewinsky hiss behind her.

She winced and turned around to face the teacher. 'I. Am. So. Sorry. Professor,' she said.

'I'm very surprised at you Ms Evans,' Professor Lewinsky said. 'I thought you were the best student but –'

'It's my fault, Professor.'

That surprised her. She turned around to look at James with wide eyes. Had he just said what I thought he did? She thought

He didn't even glance at her as he continued. 'It's my fault if Evans has been disturbing your class. And I'm very sorry about that, Professor.'

Professor Lewinsky glared at James. 'You're Mr Potter, I believe.'

'Yes, Professor,' James replied.

'Good then, since you and Ms Evans seem to be so friendly with each other already –'

That made her speak up. 'We're not friends,' she rectified.

Professor Lewinsky turned a stern face at her. She looked so damn like Professor McGonagall right now that she shut up. 'Scuse me Professor,' she mumbled.

'As I was saying,' Professor Lewinsky said. 'Since you two have already bonded so well. Why, I think the best I can do for you is to put you two together!'

Lily frowned. '"Put us two together"? What "put us two together"?'

She didn't know what that was about but she didn't want to be with James Potter, in whatever way!

Professor Lewinsky smirked at her. 'Oh yes, I forgot that you were not paying attention.'

If there existed a spell that allowed people to open up the ground and let it swallow them, she would have used it. Oh yes, I would, she thought.

'We will be studying the chapter 'The family' this term, Ms Evans. And what other way of teaching you how to understand each other and how to take care of a family, if not by pairing you up for ten days?'

'"Pairing us up?"' she asked horrified.

'Ms Evans,' Professor Lewinsky sighed. 'This is very simple, really. I am going to assign all of you partners of the opposite sex: you'll be married, and conjure up toy babies. You will be like real families. These babies will be like real ones too: they can real angels and sleep and gurgle, but can also cry and cry and cry. And when they do, you'll have to care for them. The problem will in knowing why they are crying.'

She took out her wand and muttered a spell. A dozen of babies appeared in front of them on the table.

'They are equipped with special sensors and spells have been cast upon them so that no one can jinx them to stop crying or stop functioning, so do not even think of it. Don't even think about letting them cry too, I will eventually know about it. The babies are equipped with a memorising spell that remembers what kind of treatment it was given and how it will react when it will be taken from you Monday next will tell us all about it.

'You'll be given pacifiers, milk bottles and nappy. If the baby cries and you think it needs to get changed, switch nappies. If he really needed changing, it'll stop crying the moment the nappy is changed. Else you'll have to try other things.'

Lily swallowed hard as the horrible truth dawned on her.

'And...I'll have to be doing this with Potter?' she asked in a small voice.

Professor Lewinsky smiled at her. 'You'll have to be doing this with Potter.'

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Author's Note -So like it? Hate it? Review pls!!