Disclaimer: All characters and scenarios established are the property of JK Rowling. No profit is being made.

A/N: Hi! To all those who are used to fics by the writing duo Sarah and Sophia, this is a one-shot fic written by Sarah in attempt to shake off her severe writer's block. To all those reading my other story: don't worry, I haven't abandoned it. I will update it soon. This story is basically a writing exercise, and it's just my way of blowing off steam after reading way too many "Hermione has a Significant Summer (TM) and gets a make-over" fics. I hope that you enjoy!

Not Another "Hermione Goes Through A Significant Change" Fic!

Hermione sighed with happiness as she surveyed the unfamiliar rocky landscape. "Ah, Paradise!"

Impatiently brushing her frizzy hair from her eyes, she consulted her well-worn copy of A Discerning Wizard's Guide to Greece and its Wonders. Her family had decided to take Hermione on a trip to Greece before her 7th year, and Hermione had a week to see as many ancient marvels as she could. In Hermione's opinion, this was going to be the best summer vacation she'd ever had.

As she began reading about the monasteries at Meteora, a high-pitched squeal pierced the air. Startled, Hermione looked up, scanning the area for the source of the disturbance. Finding no one around her, she shrugged and returned to her guide.

Suddenly, Hermione found herself in a tight embrace. Struggling wildly, she pushed the figure away from her.

"Mya, don't you know me?" her attacker said, smiling a little too widely, her strawberry lip-gloss gleaming in the sun.

Hermione gazed at the girl bemusedly. It was difficult to determine her exact age, due to the alarmingly large amount of makeup on her face, but she seemed to be in her mid to late teens. Her long, silvery-blonde hair flowed well below her waist, and her eyes were a rather unnatural shade of clear amethyst.

"I don't think so, Miss," she replied, after a lengthy pause.

"Why, I'm Annalisa Clarissa Starlight Ravensong, but you can call me Lissa!" the girl said brightly, "I'm your cousin from America! I'm also a pureblood wizard! We are going to be best friends!"

"I don't have any cousins in America," Hermione said skeptically, "And how can you be a pureblood wizard and related to me when both of my parents are Muggles? For that matter, what are you doing in Greece if you live in America?"

The smile disappeared abruptly from Lissa's face, and she disappeared in a flash of sparkly violet light. Hermione sighed with relief and picked up her guide once again. Hopefully, she could continue with her planning without any more interruptions.

Her hopes were dashed as Lissa reappeared, grin firmly in place once more. "I'm your third cousin four times removed," she explained, "We're related by marriage."

Hermione frowned. Her explanation still didn't make sense. She opened her mouth to argue, but Lissa cut her off.

"You've never heard from me before, because my father wouldn't let me associate with my Mudblood cousins." Large, crystalline, tears appeared in her eyes, and melancholy violin music began playing from nowhere. "He mistreats me terribly. He wouldn't buy me a silver pony for my 14-and-three-quarters birthday! I only got a white one!"

Muttering vague condolences, Hermione slowly edged away from her.

"But I heard from Dumbledore that you were here," Lissa continued, her tragic demeanor vanishing instantly, "and I came to see you! I'm going to Hogwarts this year as part of your school's exchange program." She broke off and surveyed Hermione critically. "I've got to take you shopping! Let's go!" Briskly, she grabbed Hermione's wrist and dragged her out of her chair.

"B-but," Hermione stuttered as she was towed along, "I don't want any new clothes! And what you say makes no sense! Hogwarts doesn't have an excha-"

Lissa shushed her harshly, and Apparated them both into the nearest wizarding boutique, 'Sparkle'. Lissa's eyes lit up when they reached the store. She began snatching up articles of clothing at light-speed, chattering ceaselessly as they did so.

Within the next few minutes, Hermione learned that Lissa was a Hecatamus (1), a Seer, and a Double Animagus, could use wandless magic, had won a Pulitzer Prize, and was even smarter than Dumbledore. After a while, Hermione was wishing desperately that Lissa's swinging golden locks would knock her out.

"Aren't these clothes a little too revealing for you?" Hermione asked, trying to cover her irritation. She looked dubiously at the array of brightly colored tube tops, short-shorts, miniskirts, and tank tops that Lissa had selected.

Lissa laughed, a high, tinkling sound that sounded like silver bells.

It was as annoying as hell.

"No, silly, those are for you!" she cried, pulling Hermione towards the counter, "Don't you want to look just as good as I do?" She gestured towards her tight, pink t-shirt emblazoned with the words, "Juicy" and her white micro-mini.

Hermione shuddered, temporarily unable to reply.

Lissa carelessly tossed a wad of American bills at the cashier, and walked out of the store, leaving Hermione to carry the bags.

"Okay now, we have to do something with that hair!"

---------

"Mya, wakey wakey!" Lissa's high voice pierced through Hermione's rather pleasant dreams of Ron.

Hermione groaned and pushed herself upright on the bed. "Stop calling me Mya!" she snapped back, running a hand perfunctorily through her hair. Her fingers slid through her newly straight and silky hair as easily as water. She grimaced. Yet another unwelcome reminder of the past few days.

She had spent seven days in Greece. Seven freakin' days, and she hadn't seen a single thing. Not on statue, not one temple, not even the Parthenon for Merlin's sake!

What she had done instead was visit nine salons and thirty-four boutiques in Greece, listening to Lissa chatter endlessly as she was poked and prodded by various disapproving stylists. But no, the torture didn't end there. She was tweezed, waxed, had her hair straightened and streaked, and countless other things that she couldn't even name.

To add insult to injury, Lissa had insisted on buying her lingerie.

"C'mon, Mya, we need to get you something sexy to snare a guy for you," Lissa had wheedled, holding up a minute scrap of black silk.

"I think that I can manage on my own, thanks," she had said stiffly.

Lissa had let out a shrill giggle. "Oh, Mya, you are so funny!" she cried, "What, do you think that you can attract 'em with your personality?"

Hermione scowled, and shook her head vigorously to clear her mind of the memory.

If she had to spend one more day with Lissa, she was going to scream. If only her parents hadn't decided to stay in Greece for a few more weeks!

"Mya! Get up! Now!"

----------

Hermione glared balefully at Lissa. "No, Lissa, I am not wearing a lime-green miniskirt and tube top to King's Cross. End of story."

"But Mya"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"With Orlando Bloom, whipped cream, and a cherry on top?"

"Eurgh! I. Said. No," Hermione enunciated clearly, her patience hanging by a thread.

For once, Lissa fell silent. Satisfied, Hermione turned to the door.

Seconds later, Lissa slammed her into the wall. Stars swam before Hermione's eyes. "You will wear them, Mya darling," she said, the mad light in her eyes belying her sugary-sweet words.

Hermione suddenly realized that she had left her wand on her bedside table.

-----------

Gusts of wind scattered leaves across King's Cross Station. Hermione shivered, and rubbed her arms convulsively. Wearing a miniskirt in 40-degree weather was not an intelligent thing to do.

"Why is it so cold here?" Lissa whined, "My legs are about to freeze off!"

"We're in England, Lissa. It's Fall right now," Hermione replied testily, "Did you think that England was going to be like California?"

She continued her unsteady way towards the barrier on her uncomfortable new four-inch heels. Several passers-by wolf-whistled as she passed. It took all of her willpower to refrain from pulling out her wand and cursing the lot of them.

They slid through the barrier that led into Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters. Hermione quickly jumped on the train, dragging her baggage with her, before anyone recognized her.

Desperate to lose Lissa, she slipped into a nearby corridor. She slammed the door shut and leant against it, panting heavily.

"Hermione? Is that you?" a familiar voice asked.

Her heart thudded painfully against her ribcage. She turned around slowly to see Ron staring at her with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Several moments passed by as they stared at each other. Finally, Ron managed to speak.

"Hermione...why are you dressed like that?" he asked slowly, "You don't look like yourself at all."

Hermione opened her mouth to reply; to reassure him that this was all a farce, nothing more, when Lissa burst into the room, her violet eyes sparkling with delight.

"Mya, where've you been? I've been looking all over for you! Come with me!" She dragged Hermione into the corridor to come face-to-face with Draco Malfoy. "Isn't he the most handsome thing you've ever seen?" she whispered loudly.

Malfoy sneered and looked her over disdainfully.

"So, Mudblood, you've finally started acting like the whore you are, hm?"

At that moment, Hermione finally snapped. She whipped out her wand and pointed it directly at Malfoy's nose. "Plague Medicé!" she shouted, watching gleefully as Malfoy's lily-white face erupted with boils. Malfoy screamed, and fell down in a dead faint.

A long, keening shriek erupted from Lissa. "You hurt Drakie! I'm going to kill you!" she screamed hysterically as she advanced upon Hermione.

The mad look appeared on Lissa's face once more, and suddenly Hermione understood.

Lissa was a Sue.

Hermione had only read about them, but those abnormally beautiful and perfect women were the most feared beings in the wizarding world. Racking her mind desperately as Lissa came ever closer, she finally recalled the charm she had learned.

She aimed her wand at the center of Lissa's smoothly tanned forehead. "Logicus Canone!" she yelled, her voice sliding up an octave with fear.

Lissa paused, bewildered. Suddenly, she exploded in a burst of sound and violet light.

Something glimmered in the small, burnt spot where Lissa had been. Hermione bent to examine it, and found a lock of silvery-blonde hair. She smiled, and tucked it in her pocket.

At that moment, Ron burst in. "Hermione, what happened? I heard a racket and...you look like yourself again!"

Startled, Hermione looked in one of the corridor's mirrors. A familiar face framed with bushy-brown hair smiled back at her.

Laughing giddily, she flung herself into the arms of a surprised-but-not-altogether-unhappy Ron's and kissed him soundly. For the next few minutes, there was no talking.

As they finally drew apart, Ron turned bright red and spluttered incoherently as the enormity of what had happened sank in. "So...what happened to that girl you were with?" he asked finally.

Hermione grinned cheerfully and took his hand. "Well, it's a long story..."

-Fin-

A/N: Phew, glad that plot-bunny's been taken care of! I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope that I didn't bore you too much. Please review and give me some feedback!