Title: Divine Damnation
Author: DhampyrX2
Rating: PG-13 for language and supernatural violence
Summary: Yet another secret origins of Xander fic that my twisted little brain cooked up.
Timeframe: Post Season 7
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do this for fun. Please don't sue me.
"Hey, Giles." Xander said, never losing his grin as he entered the room, and Giles closed and locked the door. He looked over at the man as he reached behind his back and pulled out two boxes of doughnuts, as if by magic. Well, actually, magic was involved in the storage process. "Two boxes of jellies, with Willow none the wiser, unless your room was bugged too." he said as he set them upon the desk with a flourish, before opening one box and taking one for himself.
He noticed after a moment that Giles was staring incredulously at him, which prompted him to say, "What? I paid for them. There's no reason I can't have a jelly. You don't need to be that greedy G-man."
Giles ignored the quip as he replied, "I don't care about the sodding doughnuts, Xander. What did you mean about the room being bugged?"
The demon shrugged innocently as he responded, "Buff forced willow to set up cameras to bug my room. I've talked to her about it, and we're good now, but still, better safe than sorry." before waving his right hand, which now glowed with power, around the room. "That should create an illusion of an innocent and useless conversation to anyone that's listening in." he said idly.
Giles shook his head slightly, as he tried to figure out just what the hell was going on. "Yes, well, quite. Now I believe you were about to explain why you have demon marks on your face?" he asked leadingly.
Xander snorted in annoyance as he replied, "Because I was born a demon. Well, I'm half demon, on my mother's side. My mom is the Dai Makaichou Hild, of the realm of Nifelheim."
"Good Lord." Giles responded in an awed whisper as he began to fall to the floor in shock, only to be saved by the ridiculously comfortable chair that appeared under him.
"Kind of throws your whole world into disarray, doesn't it?" Xander asked his face bursting with pride.
"Indeed. Hild is written to be unimaginably powerful. The annals of her rare Earthly exploits were such that...good lord, Xander she could destroy the world easily!" Giles responded brokenly.
He was startled when Xander snorted derisively and replied, "Big deal. Most kami and demons could do that unsealed. Not that it would matter. Dad would just reset time or something, then probably make /me/ help restrain whatever rogue god or demon did something that stupid. He's awful partial to humanity."
Giles just goggled at Xander for a moment, before asking, "And just who is your father, exactly? If you're only half-demon, then he must be something else, but you haven't mentioned him yet."
"You might want to capitalize those pronouns about Him in your sentences, Giles. My Dad is Kami-sama himself. The big man upstairs, as it were." Xander replied, a bit embarrassed at just how much he knew Giles would freak out over this.
"Bloody fu&in' hell in a hand basket!" Giles exclaimed as he went white in the face. "Are you serous."
Xander tried to shrug off the wide eyes attention as he responded, "Yeah. It's not that big of a deal, though. I mean, other than it being a pain that my sisters work for Him in Asgard, while I work for Mom in Nifelheim, it doesn't really affect us that much. Well, it makes me a more tempting target for goddesses like Peorth trying to recruit me to the Heavens, but other than that, it's not of the big."
"You think having the creator for your /Father/ is no big deal?" Giles exclaimed in shock.
"It's all I've ever known, Giles. I'm used to it, I guess." Xander replied with a shrug.
"But Xander...you...you're a...oh good lord, I need a drink." Giles said, still in shock. After a pause, where he poured himself some tea from the warmer on his desk, and got himself a jelly, he asked, "You...you mentioned sisters? You mean He and Hild have...?"
"Giles human, god, or demon, no child wants to talk about, or acknowledge the existence of, their parent's sex lives. I have one full sibling, my older sister Urd, aka the Norn of the past. We share two younger half sisters named Belldandy, known as Verthandi in Norse mythology, who is Norn of the present, and Skuld, Norn of the future. Bell and Skuld are full goddesses. So a far as I'm concerned, Dad has sex four times in all of creation, and Mom has had it twice. Intellectually I know that that's bullshit, but I choose to ignore anything else in favor of my own sanity. Please don't ask about it again." Xander pleaded in an all too human tone.
"Yes. I suppose I couldn't blame you for that. I walked in on my parents once and..." Giles answered with a shudder.
"My condolences, Giles. My Condolences." Xander responded.
"Well, then. Care to tell me just why I've never noticed your marks until now? Or why you've never used your obviously considerable power to help us?" Giles then asked, his tone growing a bit angry.
Xander then proceeded to recount the nature of his wish granting assignment, the limitations it placed on him, how and why he was released, and his new assignments.
"Bloody 'ell. The Slayer spell might?" he asked brokenly.
"Yeah. Do I have to try to find a non-violent alternative before it comes to that. On top of tracking down and stopping whatever the First is undoubtedly planning. Which, unfortunately has to take center stage, putting the Slayer question on the back burner. Hopefully Willow will find a way to help safely repeal that mess without getting a bunch of girls in the field killed." the demon said with a tired sigh.
"And is she can't?" Giles prompted in an equally tired tone.
Xander shrugged, although he looked a bit green a he did so, and replied, "Then we do it anyway. Massive in field casualties will beat losing them all but one to every wargod, archangel, archdemon, and battle demon Asgard and Nifelheim can spare at the time."
"Heaven help us." Giles exclaimed as he pictured that scenario.
"I wish. Instead I got stuck with it." Xander answered to his plea.
"Xander...how the bloody hell could you have been grinning like a daft fool when you came in here? The pressure alone must be unbearable." Giles exclaimed in shock.
Xander shrugged as he retorted, "Got to laugh to keep from crying sometimes, Giles. Besides, I got a bit of good news just before I came in, and a date for day after tomorrow with an old friend."
"Oh? And what is this fortuitous news, then?" Giles asked, trying to perk up his own spirits.
"I'm getting to meet with Cordy tonight for dinner a the Hard Rock." Xander answered with a mad grin.
"Cordelia? But she passed away and ascended. The Powers are actually letting her visit you?" Giles asked perplexed.
Xander snorted in derision as he answered, "The power can kiss my shiny demonic ass. Those fourth class loser should have been sanctioned by Father millennia ago. Their methods suck, and their execution blows." He smiled again as he added, "Cordy got recruited to the Valkyrie Corps. That makes her just under a class three god in status in Asgard and Valhalla. She's a real warrior for the light now, not an information source and pep talk for Deadboy and those screw ups that recruited him. I had Bell pull some strings to set up a meet to talk during Cordy's off time."
"Well, that is fortuitous news. It's a pity it can't be announced to the whole house." Giles said with a fatherly grin at the thought of another of his former charges doing well for herself.
"Well, Willow and Dawn know, as I explained, so I'll tell them. Only Buffy needs to kept in the dark for now. At least until she calms down and remembers how to be a real person." Xander responded.
"Quite. I'll have to have words with her about the ethics of spying on one's allies. Damn fool maneuvers like that were what made the old Council become what it was." Giles retorted icily.
"Eh. I think Dawn will drive the message home better than any of us could. I'm almost sorry I let it slip about the surveillance in front of her. Buffy doesn't know what she's in for." Xander said with a proud grin.
"Regardless, Xander. She's still my Slayer, and I will speak with her." Giles said angrily.
"But Giles, I don't want it to look like everyone is ganging up on her! She'll think I went whining to you guys or something. It would do more harm than good." Xander whined.
His tone actually mollified Giles' remaining misgivings to a degree as he replied, "Very well, Xander. I'll eave it be for now. But once she's calmed and in the know, she and I will speak." The fact his face had broken into a 'Ripper' grin at the end was not missed by the White Knight.
"I can live with that." Xander said with a smile.
Dawn was still stomping mad as made her way back to her room. She went looking for her favorite CD, hoping her favorite rock CD will calm her nerves, only to stop short as she discovered someone was already listening to it. "Mara, what are you doing here, and in my room?" she asked in surprise.
The demoness shrugged as she replied, "I was bored, and I felt like visiting, but Alex is talking to that Ripper guy. Besides I figured you could use someone to vent at after the visit from the rose obsessed camera slut earlier."
"As long as you don't put on any Disco music, that's cool, I guess." Dawn replied with a grin.
Mara scowled as she responded, "Alex has a damned big mouth just like his sister. At least I don't fall asleep at the sound of Polka like she does, or get all morose from country music like him."
Dawn actually laughed at that, making the demoness scowl deeper. "I'm sorry Mara. Really. It's just that...Xander claims your disco enforced dancing inspired how he danced in high school. The picture is just...he was known as a professional spaz."
Mara kept up the scowl as long as she could, before she finally broke out into a grin and replied, "Yeah, well, he always was a spaz. It's kinda nice to know some things never change." After a moments pause for both to laugh, she asked, "So what did you think o fold Peorth?"
Dawn was clearly grating her teeth as she spat, "Do I have to dignify that with a response, or should I just growl?"
"Yeah well, what are you going to do? Look at it this way, mortals age fast enough, he won't treat you like a little kid soon if you don't let him. Until, then, sit back and enjoy the show." Mara advised, as she laid back on Dawn's bed and rested her hands behind her head.
"Good advise, I suppose. So, while I sit back and enjoy, what embarrassing stories can you tell me about Xan that I can use against him? They can be retaliation for the disco thing." Dawn asked with an eager grin.
"You had me at the word embarrassing, kiddo." Mara said with an evil smirk.
People that passed by her room that day would have had to suppress a sever shudder down their spines at the cackling they hear emanating within.
End Part 11