Disclaimer: I don't own GW, Savage Garden, or anything else I may have alluded to, much to my sorrow, so please don't sue, all you'll get is pocket lint anyhow, and I'm sure you already have as much of your own as you could possibly want
Warning: fluffy cotton candy and citrusy goodness. Some Relena bashing, if you don't like it, don't read it. Shounen-ai, yaoi (if you don't know what it is, you shouldn't be here)
In the Savage Garden
I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
Prologue - Affirmation
Where to begin? The list was endless. The messy-haired boy – a young man, really – stared down at the paper in his hand, hoping against hope that if he looked at it long enough, it would somehow grow shorter of its own accord. But no one has ever, in all the history of lists, been able to star at a list long enough to shrink it.
How had he managed to pull errand-duty for practically the entire apartment? What had he done to deserve this? At least the girls didn't live there anymore, or he'd be forced to pick up make-up and other, less pleasant, products. He shuddered.
"Hee-chan!" a voice called out.
"Shut up," Heero growled automatically, without glancing up, before registering the voice as a forced falsetto, not the clear alto he was accustomed to hearing. Startled, he looked up, still half-expecting to see a pink-decked blonde girl hovering inches away. Instead, a boy his own age with a long, heavy, chestnut braid was grinning mischievously at him.
Baka! You hear the name 'Hee-chan' and you flip? Just because that's what She called you, you automatically assume everyone who calls you that is going to be like her? Just don't talk. Bite your tongue, or something. This is what happens when you open your stupid mouth! You insult the one person you'd rather... "Gomen, Duo," Heero muttered, cutting off that particular thought and flushing (boys don't blush!) with embarrassment. "I just... thought... you were..."
"Relena?" the braided boy supplied, his voice dropping back to its own range.
"Hai," Heero nodded, knowing his face was bright red, and hating it. Smooth, Yuy. Real smooth.
"'S okay, my man," the American boy laughed. "I get mistaken for people's ex-girlfriends all the time. No worries, Hee-chan." That damned falsetto was back.
"Don't call me that," Heero grunted. You're getting angry, his conscience warned. Just leave now. Better to risk hurting his feelings by brushing him off, than letting your mouth run away with you. "This is all your fault, you know!" Like that. "You know she was the only person who called me that, and you faked a girl's voice just to get a rise out of me!" the Japanese boy's quick temper was rising to cover his embarrassment. Shut up! Just stop talking if you can't say anything nice, or at least civil! You'll be kicking yourself hard enough later as it is. Do you want to scare him off?
"So, whatcha doin', Hee-chan?" the other boy asked, cheerfully ignoring the tirade.
Just be glad he's still his cheerful self... don't say anything STUPID... "Errands," the taller boy finally snapped, unable to keep from shooting his neighbor a death-glare as he slammed out of the apartment building. Baka, baka, baka, he chanted silently to himself as he started down the street, adjusting the bags slung over his shoulders.
Switch POV
The glare only stopped Duo for a moment, then the longhaired brunet ran to catch up with his irritable friend.
"You're not really mad, are ya?" Duo asked. Get him to talk.
"Hn."
Come on, man, don't just brush me off... Duo scowled at the other boy's lack of response. You're just asking for it... "Stop being such a grouch, Hee-chan."
In an instant, Duo found himself dragged forward, Heero's hand gripping the front of his shirt. "I told you not to call me that," the taller boy hissed.
Duo looked up into cold blue eyes. Then don't brush me off! "Geez, Yuy, I was just joking around, take a breath or two." Duo pushed ineffectually at the boy glaring down at him. He could smell the other boy's aftershave and soap, they were so close.
"Just leave me alone," Heero snarled.
"Sure thing, man," Duo forced a grin. "Uh, you wanna let go of my shirt? People are staring." For some reason, he had goose bumps. Did Heero always smell like cinnamon?
"Go home, Maxwell," Heero released him, and bent to pick up the various bags he'd dropped, ignoring the passersby who were giving the two boys a wide berth.
Duo stared for a moment, hurt more by the chill in Heero's voice and manner than he had been by the rough physical threats.
Heero straightened, adjusting the multiple bags across his shoulders.
"Sorry, Heero," the braided boy said softly, thinking to himself, Something's bugging him, he snapped a lot sooner than he usually does. I'm usually pretty good at not going overboard... at knowing when I need to stop before he goes over the edge.
"Hn," was the only response.
I'll take that to mean 'it's okay, don't worry about it,' Duo thought, a bit crankily. "I've got some errands to run, too," he tried again. "Mind if I tag along?"
"Hn."
Duo took that as a "yes, of course, I'd love nothing better than to have you accompany me on my outing," and fell into step with the taller boy.
After a few yards, Heero shoved a few of the bags he was carrying at Duo, who took them happily, feeling the tension ease.
Their first stop was the dry cleaners, where Heero had to drop off several suits for Wufei. Next they went to a hardware store to pick up paint samples for Quatre and a travel agency to check flights from California to Boston for Trowa's sister (why they couldn't just use a computer was a mystery). Then they went to a big book warehouse for Heero, who spent all of five minutes browsing before leaving with nothing, a somewhat disappointed Duo trailing behind. After that, they went to a Laundromat to do a week's worth of laundry for four people ("we better get the lobby's machines fixed soon," Heero grumbled), then they went to the video store, where Duo grabbed his favorite (Fight Club) while Heero searched out videos for the rest of their apartment mates. They went to Wufei's club to drop off a repaired fencing epée, then swung by the music store to pick up a new book of sheet music that Trowa had requested for an upcoming concert. They stopped quickly at a toy store to get Quatre child's wrapping paper for a present to one of his nephews, then at a convenience store to pick up colored tape for the gift, and Duo grabbed a big bottle of shampoo and another of conditioner. Then they made their last stop: the grocery store, where both boys went through their weekly lists, and those of their three apartment mates.
Duo said little, and Heero said less. Duo naturally wanted to chatter to fill the still somewhat tense silence, but Heero was obviously not in the mood, so Duo kept the impulse in check. Instead, he fell into the thoughts that had been plaguing him constantly for the previous few months. Ever since Hilde had broken up with him.
Above the lobby, the apartment building Duo and Heero lived in had seven floors. Duo lived at the very top. Heero lived on the level below, on the seventh floor. Chang Wufei lived on the second floor of the building, sometimes with his on-off girlfriend Meiran. Hilde had lived on the third floor, but the apartment was empty now, as was the sixth floor, which had once been inhabited by Heero's ex, Relena Peacecraft. The two girls were planning on getting a real house with Trowa's sister, Catherine Barton (thus the plane ticket). Trowa occupied the fifth floor, and his shy blond shadow, Quatre Raberba Winner (whose family owned the whole building) had the fourth floor.
The five boys had been friends for years, ever since they'd started high school. Well, they hadn't all become friends right away. Quatre had naturally befriended them, the 'misfits,' and brought them together. The shy boy could be awfully determined when he set his mind to something, and he usually got his way (he had Tro completely whipped, Duo thought with a mental snigger).
The five of them had all been in the same English class, and had been assigned to work together, starting the second month of freshman year, for the yearlong group project every student had to complete. Things had been very uncomfortable for a while, until Quatre had decided that even people as different as they seemed to be had to have some things in common, and had invited them all over to his family's mansion for a long weekend, and practically forced them to have fun. And it had been fun. And after that, the five had considered each other solid friends, though they still disagreed on a LOT.
Fei and Heero were 'the athletes,' Duo supposed, but no one would ever call either of them a jock. Fei was always more into martial arts and fencing, not exactly the sports the cheerleading team was eager to tag along to. Heero, well, Heero was the star forward of the soccer team and had the best batting average of the school's baseball players, but jocks were social creatures, and Heero was anything but. He's a mystery, Duo thought. Freshmen were never good enough to play, but Heero hadn't sat out a game once in his entire high school career, and he'd never lost a game, either. That alone would have made him one of the most popular guys in school. Add to that his locker pin-up looks, and the entire female population (and a good portion of the male population, as well) at the school was ready to make him their darling. But Heero went out of his way to avoid attention. He seemed to want to hide in anonymity.
Duo, on the other hand, felt much better equipped to hide in the spotlight. The best way to hide in a crowd was to stand out, after all.
Q and Tro were both musicians, and damned good ones at that. That was how they'd first met, before the English project had ever started. Trowa had been very quiet before Quatre had pushed him out of the shadows, though the blond could be plenty quiet himself. Duo still didn't know the details, and he wasn't sure he wanted to, though it might be worth it, just for the rare chance to see Tro blush. Gotta hand it to Q, Duo thought, Tro was definitely quite the catch.
Duo supposed he was a musician as well: he'd sung with the best of them since grade school, after all, in choirs and solo, but he was happiest on the theatre stage. Where I can wear the mask of someone else, for a while... He'd always liked being able to play different characters, to forget his own problems for a while, and maybe be able to help his audience forget theirs. It was a relief to be able to ignore the soap opera that was high school life, if only for a short time. His own nature was such that he didn't like to share himself with other people. Oh, he shared his opinions, loudly and often, but the real him, how he felt and what he really thought, he hid from others, unsure how people would react. He loved cracking jokes and clowning around, and thoroughly enjoyed scaring the shit out of people. He lived for the reactions he could get from randomly saying or doing strange things, whether what he said was true or not was beside the point. But he was scared to death of how those around him would respond to what was under the cheerfully upbeat mask, to what lay behind the wickedly laughing, deceptively innocent purple eyes. Even his closest friends... What if they didn't like him anymore?
Duo had lost his family at a very young age, so young, in fact, that he couldn't even remember them. He'd been raised in a church-run orphanage up until sixth grade, when it had burned down. He had been the only survivor. He'd been in shock for months, then outwardly returned to his old energetic self. His very nature wouldn't let him do anything else, but he'd been shaken to the core, and hadn't known how to fill the empty void inside of him – had been too afraid to even try. Quatre and the others had gone a long way towards filling that void, but he was still scared to be alone.
During his junior year he'd started going out with Hilde. She'd been the one to ask him, for, though he'd been interested, he'd been far too scared of rejection at that point to make a move himself. She'd been a good friend before they'd become a couple, and he still considered her among his best friends, even though she'd moved out.
Heero had started dating Relena soon after Hilde and Duo had gotten together, the peppy blonde had been chasing Heero since she'd first transferred into the school when they were fifteen. For some reason, Duo had always disliked Relena, and it had strangely intensified when she'd started dating his best friend. Duo couldn't explain it at all, she just made his teeth hurt.
Duo had always been very aware of Heero, but he'd never really given it much thought. He'd always blamed it on the blonde cheerleader whenever it reached a point where he found it odd. He'd always assumed it was because Relena inspired homicidal feelings in him, because Heero was his best friend, and because, as Heero was his friend, he didn't want Heero to get hurt, and if Duo ever killed Heero's girlfriend, one would assume Heero would be hurt. No particularly strange reasons there. Of course, there'd been that one incident after Junior Prom, and he hadn't been able to look Heero in the face all summer, but that had nothing to do with anything, did it?
Duo had long considered Heero to be his best friend of the four, had found it strangely easy to talk to the blue-eyed boy, and had discovered he opened up to the messy-haired boy far more than he did to anyone else, even Hilde. Heero knew more about his past than anyone, though he still didn't know everything – even after so many years, Duo was still unable to talk about certain things. Duo had also noticed that Heero seemed able to relax more with him than he did with other people, even to talk more, though Duo had found very quickly just how easy it was to light the taller boy's short temper – as Quatre put it, he 'always knew just how to push Heero's buttons'. It wasn't something Duo was particularly proud of, but it did prove amusing at times. Lately, however, Heero'd been extremely east to get riled up – at least when Duo was the one to get riled up at.
I wonder if Hilde talked to him, too? Duo thought suddenly, halfway through their stop at the Laundromat. "Heero?" he asked, turning to the dark-haired boy, who was switching clothes to the dryer.
"What?"
"Did Hilde ever – " no, wait, she said she wasn't going to talk to anyone about it.
"Did Hilde ever what?" Heero prompted when Duo had been quiet for a long moment.
"Nothing," Duo shook his head. "Forget it."
"All right." Heero turned back to the clothes, looking mildly irritated.
Quatre's parents had given the five boys and two girls their apartments as a graduation gift, and they'd all lived there quite happily for close to two years, until Hilde had abruptly told Duo that they were breaking up, and that she was moving out.
To say that Duo had been stunned would have been like saying Elvis was capable of carrying a tune, or Medea was a bit miffed when Jason left her for a virgin princess. When he'd finally been able to speak, he'd asked why. She'd been very blunt.
"You're in love with him," she'd said.
"What?" he'd spluttered. "Who?"
"You're in love with Heero," she'd told him, very matter-of-fact.
"What the hell do you mean by that?"
"I meant what I said. You're in love with – "
"Stop saying that! I am not! It's absurd! Where would you get an idea like that?"
"After so many years, I'd think it was obvious. The two of you are nuts for each other, no pun intended."
Duo hadn't even laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Come on, Duo. You've been mad for him since before we ever started going out, though I admit I only just started to realize it. I've always known he was crazy for you, just too damn shy to admit it, or even that he's bi, but if he wasn't going to jump for the chance, I wasn't going to sit around until he got the balls for it. And I honestly don't know why you're so bothered by it, you've known you were bi since before I knew you."
"Oh, can it, Hilde! My being bi had never been a problem for you before. Heero and I are friends. Just friends. And just because I'm into guys as well as girls doesn't mean I'm going to care about you any less, or that I'm going to go all dreamy-eyed over my friends. And you know that, so stop making shit up. What's this really about?"
She'd shrieked then, well, that's what it had sounded like, half shriek and half groan of exasperation. "You ass!" she'd screamed. "Get that stupid expression off your face, and don't you dare give me that is-it-that-time-of-the-month? look, or I swear to God and anyone else listening that I will tear your bloody eyes out and make you eat them! I was completely serious, and if you don't believe me, you can go rot, for all I care. It's not my problem anymore! I told you it's over, Maxwell, and if you don't believe why, that's your own damn problem!" With that, she'd slammed out of his apartment, and he hadn't had the nerve to go after her.
Almost a month later, Relena and Heero broke up. And when Duo had calmly tried to ask Hilde (who he'd finally made up with) if she'd had anything to do with it, she'd just as calmly told him that who he wanted to screw was his own damn business, and if he thought she'd go talk to Heero about it, he could just go fuck himself.
Duo had taken that as a 'no,' and let the matter rest.
Or, at least, he'd tried to. He hadn't said anything to anyone after the debacle with Hilde, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. It irked him. Why would Hilde think he liked Heero? Granted, Heero was very attractive, and while the bed-head look might make another guy look like a scrub, on Heero it just looked sexy. And the guy had an amazing build (Duo had always envied him that), he was athletic and worked out, but he wasn't overly built like the guys who looked like they were on steroids, not that Duo paid a lot of attention to Heero's body, Heero was his friend, and straight, so it was just something he'd noticed in passing, obviously, but it was still true.
But besides his looks (which Duo had ONLY noticed in passing, of course), Heero could be pretty cool to hang out with, when he wasn't mad. It seemed like a lot of the time when Duo got too close to Heero, the short-haired boy got irritated; Duo figured Heero was one of those people who had a "personal bubble" that was not to be tampered with, though he never seemed quite as on edge with other people. But when Heero wasn't mad, he was a great friend. He always watched his friends' backs. He could be great to talk to, if he wasn't in one of his monosyllabic moods. He was a good listener. He actually had a sense of humor, a strange sense of humor, but it was there, which Duo had never expected when he'd first met the blue-eyed boy. He was talented, and smart, and interesting, and could be surprisingly gentle when Duo was sick or upset, something that had always thrown Duo a little off guard, though he appreciated it far more than he'd ever say.
But just because Heero was everything anyone could ever want didn't mean that Duo wanted him... did it?
Duo and Heero were just friends. That was it. Best friends, which was why Duo felt he could talk about almost anything with Heero, and why it seemed like Heero was willing to talk about almost anything to him. But even though they were best friends, they were still just friends. And Duo knew that was all they should, could, or would ever be. Heero was, simply put, amazing, and Duo... well, Duo knew his own shortcomings all too well. So why would Hilde think that Heero liked him? After all, for one thing, whatever Hilde might think, Heero was straight as a ruler. For another, as Heero was fond of pointing out, Duo was an annoying idiot – so why would someone as great as Heero have any interest in someone like Duo?
But then there was the Junior Prom incident...
Duo didn't even want to think about it. What an embarrassingly messed up night that had been. He'd been trying unsuccessfully to forget it ever since it had happened.
Then, suddenly, staring at his grocery list, Duo realized that he didn't want to forget it. Maybe now was, in fact, the perfect time to figure it out. Much as he hated to admit it, and tried to deny it, he was already questioning his feelings for Heero, even if he had very little doubt about Heero's purely friendly regard for him. Maybe if he could figure out what he really felt about that night, he might be able to figure some other things out as well.
The night of Junior Prom Duo and Heero had both ended up going solo with Quatre and Trowa and Wufei and Meiran. Hilde and Relena (who were best friends) had both caught a bug from Relena's older brother, and had been forced by their parents to stay home.
They'd all had a few drinks in the limo before the Prom, and a few after, then more when they got to Quatre's house, where they were all spending the night.
The two couples had soon disappeared, and Duo and Heero had been left alone in the living room of Quatre's suite. By that time, they'd both been quite roaring drunk.
There'd been an old set of CDs playing: Quatre was addicted to what he called "classic music" (Duo privately loved it as well, but teased Q aloud by calling it "the sweet tunes of the ancient dead"). It had taken the two boys a while to realize the others had disappeared, and when they did, they'd collapsed on the floor, laughing at how long it had taken them, Eventually, they'd returned to a somewhat more sane frame of mind, laying on their backs on the floor, arms spread out, staring up at the ceiling. The song blasting was by Savage Garden, and one of Duo's favorites. He'd started singing along, managing to stay in tune even drunk and in his awkward position on the floor.
"There's just no rhyme or reason – Only this sense of completion – And in your eyes – I see the missing pieces – I'm searching for – I think I found my way home – "
"You know this song?" Heero didn't seem at all surprised, but it had still been more question than statement.
"'Course, 'Ro!" Duo had half mumbled. "It's Savage Garden!" He turned his head so he could see the other boy clearly. Heero was looking at him. "Don't you know anything?"
"I knew I loved you..." the Japanese boy murmured. The alcohol was making his face red. A moment later he continued. "A thousand angels dance around you – " he was half whispering, half singing along. "I am complete now that I've found you – "
"Never knew you could sing, 'Ro," Duo sighed sleepily. It had been a long night, and Quatre's floor was surprisingly comfortable. "Got a nice voice... Didn't know you knew this song either."
"It's a beautiful song," Heero replied. He rolled onto his side, facing Duo.
"Yeah," Duo smiled at his friend.
"Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"... Never mind."
"Nice, 'Ro, real nice. Start to say something..." Duo trailed off, and turned back to face the ceiling.
"Duo?" Heero said again after several minutes.
"What, 'Ro?" Duo had almost fallen asleep, and didn't bother opening his eyes. He heard Heero shifting.
"Just... just needed to say... just wanted to tell you..." suddenly, Duo felt a strange mouth covering his.
His eyes snapped open. Heero, eyes closed, was kissing him. Wait. Heero was kissing him? That couldn't be right. His eyes drifted closed, almost against his will, just as he felt Heero's tongue requesting entrance to his mouth. He parted his lips, allowing Heero's questing tongue access. Hesitantly, he let his own tongue dance with the other boy's.
Just how drunk are we? he wondered.
Then it was over. Heero pulled away. Duo forced his eyes back open. The other boy was still hovering above him, hands braced on the ground on either side of Duo's head.
"Where did you learn to kiss like that?" it was out of his mouth before he could stop it.
Heero's chuckle sounded almost nervous. "You'd be surprised."
"Are you going to kiss me again?" Duo could have swallowed his tongue. He'd actually sounded like he was asking Heero to kiss him – again! This was Heero. His friend. His best friend! His straight best friend. Who had a girlfriend. They both had girlfriends!
"No."
Duo let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in a sigh of – disappointment? That wasn't right. It couldn't be.
"Next time, you're going to kiss me."
"What?" Duo's voice cracked as it hadn't in years.
Their bodies were still so close together Duo could feel Heero's low chuckle, and the rapid beating of the other boy's heart, which seemed to be trying to catch up with his own.
"Heero, you're drunk," Duo voice didn't sound convincing, even to himself. "We're both drunk." Do I wish we weren't?
"Fun, isn't it?" Heero's voice wasn't even slurred.
"Heero..."
Heero leaned in so close his lips were almost brushing Duo's – but not quite. Duo's eyes slid closed, lips parting slightly as he tilted his chin, waiting for the kiss. But Heero didn't kiss him. The older boy only nipped lightly at Duo's lower lip, then moved his lips close to Duo's ear. "It's your turn," he whispered, his warm breath sending an electric shiver down Duo's spine, then he drew back, away from the smaller boy.
A low moan escaped Duo's lips as Heero pulled away, and, unthinking, he reached to yank the taller boy back.
Just then, laughter exploded in the hallway, and Duo shoved Heero off of him before rolling away from the other boy mere seconds before the two couples entered the room. Duo thought he'd seen a hurt look on his friend's face, but they hadn't been alone again that night, and Duo had effectively avoided Heero all summer. Things had gone back to normal the following autumn, and neither of them had ever mentioned the incident again.
"Duo!" Heero's voice cut into Duo's trip down memory lane. He was holding Duo's arm in a death grip.
Duo blinked. He was standing on the curb next to Heero, whose bags were once again on the sidewalk. Cars were whizzing by, and Duo realized the look on Heero's face was a cross between horror and deep fear. In a flash, he realized he'd almost walked into the busy street. "Oh my God, Heero, I'm sorry! I wasn't paying attention. I'm so sor – " he was cut off abruptly when Heero smacked him across the face: hard. "Dammit, Yuy!" Duo's cheek smarted. "I said I was sor – " Heero smacked him again.
"Don't ever scare me like that again." Heero bent down, picked up his bags, and stepped into the now empty crosswalk, glaring straight ahead at the "walk" signal.
A/N: please note that this is, for all real purposes, my first fan fic. Reviews are more than welcome!