Title: Shoe shopping
Author: Quick-demon
Disclaimer: Maybe if I go to the end of the rainbow I might find a pot of copyrights! Until then Jak and Daxter and Friends are owned by Naughty Dog.
Rating: PG-13. Swearing and some sexual reference.
Genre: General and Humor
Game: Jak II. After the game.
Summery: Jak is forced to go shopping with Kiera. As all the men will know... shopping with women isn't easy...
Shopping. Ugh. Hate it! Who invented shopping anyway? Who knew that Haven city has so many shops in it's metropolis? Who knew that the blank and repeating walls held so much variety?
I didn't.
Kiera did. She's the one making me suffer. Daxter was the smart one. He excused himself from this shopping spree by doing something important. If you call hiding in the Naughty Ottsel important then I'm a crocadog with fleas.
Even the fakeness of Daxter's excuse was oozing through his very words.
Traitor.
How can he leave me? After all we've been through?
Daxter is going to get it one day. His gloating face will be on my features!
Kiera excepted his poor excuse with ease and made me come along. I, of course, said I don't do shopping... does she listen? Nope. She just laughed and said I was too proud for my own good.
So here I am in a shoe shop.
Picking shoes.
I've seen Kiera wear one pair shoes. That was her work shoes. Why in Haven City would she want high heels? Isn't one shoe enough?
"Shit how thin is that heel?"
"Aren't high heels uncomfortable?"
"How can women walk in those things?"
"Those would just get in the way!"
She glared at me. I kept my mouth shut... for a minute.
Pulled out, pink, red, green, purple, black, white... checkered.... stripped?
If these are the shoes...I hate to see the dress.
"Fluffy boots? Are you kidding Kiera? Why do you want boots with fur all over them?"
"They're called Ugh boots? Now I know why... Ugh!"
"Thongs? Why do you need thongs?" It's not like there are any beaches around here. If there are any then either they are contaminated or over run with Metal Heads.
"Pink thongs?"
"Are you sure?"
"Maybe green or blue... but pink?"
"Pink is cute?"
"How can you think Pink is cute?"
"Alright, alright! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Have you're stupid pink thongs! What? I didn't say stupid...erh I said slappy... yeah slappy, because thongs do that against you're bare feet"
"I complain too much? I don't complain too much... your choice is just a little out there..."
"Hey don't look at me like that!"
"I'm just like Daxter? I hang around him too much? I'm not like Daxter! Just because he complains and criticizes things...."
Wow who would of though Kiera's feet were small and smooth. I wonder if she uses lotion. She paints her nails? Her toe nails are pink! Well that explains the pink thongs...
"Now you're talking. Those boots look great. You got to protect your feet!" Unlike me when I grew up. My feet are tough as steel!
"See they fit your feet fine"
"Yeap, that's right, now buy them and lets go!"
"Come on!"
"How hard is it to walk up to the counter, hand over the cash and walk out?"
"You don't like them?"
"Why?"
"Why don't you like them?"
"They're great shoes!"
"They're too manish?"
"What?"
"Are you kidding? They look great!"
"You want something dressy?"
"Like Ugh boots?"
"No?"
"Pink thongs?"
"No?"
"High heels?"
"Yeah?"
"Well grab a pair and lets go!"
"You don't know what colour?"
"What about pink?" Kiera likes pink.
"What? You hate pink?"
"What about those pink thongs before?"
"You hate them now?"
"Geez man! Make up you're mind!"
"Those shoes you like?"
"Thin high hills with a pointy toe?"
"Yuk! Red and blue striped shoes! Kiera!"
And I thought pink was bad!
"What? I said nothing!"
"I like? No of course I don't like! I looks like it came from a bloody candy box!"
"It matches your dress?"
"Kiera! Where in Haven City did you buy a red and blue striped dress?"
"Well obviously in a dress shop but how could you?"
"I'm not the one to talk? I don't know anything about dresses?"
"True but I know a good dress when I see it!"
"I'm impossible? You're impossible! I mean a red and blue stripped dress..."
"Where are you going anyway?"
"To a night club?"
"To a night club in a red and blue striped dress?"
"Are you crazy?"
"Have you tried green or blue clubbing clothes? I seen many women wearing those"
"No! No! I haven't been checking them out!"
"No! I haven't been to a night club!"
"I just saw them wearing clothes like that"
"Yes they were showing their boobs"
"No! I wasn't looking at them!"
"I mean they were big but..."
"No! Keira! I swear! I like yours better..."
"No! I haven't been checking you out!"
"What I do like you! I like you a lot!"
"No I don't love you for you're boobs. I love you for who you are!"
"Of course I like your boobs but that's not the point at the moment!"
"Stop crying. Please!"
"Pretty please!"
"Thanks"
Keira is turning out to be difficult. Who knew women were so different. No wonder Daxter bailed. Man... sooner we finish up here, the better.
"You're going to buy those shoes?"
"No?"
"Shopping for shoes was a bad idea?"
I agree! "What? Nothing! I didn't say anything!"
"Going to a night club was a bad idea?"
"Staying at home with your doohickeys will be your social life?"
"Geez Kiera! Where did all this negativity come from?"
Oh well it's up to me to cheer her up. As always.
"Kiera. You can go to a night club. You have a good body. You just deserve much better clothes! Yes I mean that"
"Will I help?"
"Err... do I have to?"
"Ok, ok, ok! I'll help you! Just don't bite my head off!"
"Now lets get off the floor. And choose some nice clothes"
"No Kiera. I meant you're night club clothes!"
"So does pink thongs interest you?"
The End
Poor Jak. He always come through in the end.
Reviews are great to tell me what you think!