Oh, Now I Get It!

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. But thanks for asking! God, I want ice-cream...

D/N: Here it is, kids and kiddies! The final chapter of the first book, 'Of Dogs and Men'! The second is going to be coming out shortly, so don't you worry about a thing! Thank you so much for everyone who stuck with me so far, and I hope this chapter is up to your standards as a proper ending for part one.

IMPORTANT! I cleaned up chapter 15 a bit so that it fits in better later. You don't need to go back and read it right now, but just know that it's been edited.

Reviews, Reviews, I Love My Reviews:

Mandapandabug: Wow. 'Joey' and 'logic' in the same sentence... THERE'S something you don't see everyday. Anyways, enjoy the chappie, panda!

Bluebell: Oh, don't worry. Bakura will definitely be back, but sometime in the middle of the second book. Never fear! I'd never leave Bakura out! Thanks for taking pleasure in Kaiba's pain! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. :D

Chibiangelailessa: Hey, thanks! And I hope you keep reading!

Earthpaw: Don't you worry! It's not supposed to make sense yet. This chapter will clear up about half of it, but the rest will be cleared up along the course of the second book. I was trying to go for the whole, 'NOW I get it!' effect. Anyway, thanks for reviewing. I hope you like this chapter too.

Anaraz: I think it's because everyone's saying, 'Let's see what the crazy child is going to write next!' ... Also, I'm that addictive. :D

Yami Koibito: Just to let you know, your hair comment made me remember that I hacked off Joey's hair, so that very last sentence Tartra says is dedicated to you. Wow, I really hope my Yu-Gi-Oh fangirlness is still there. O.o Wouldn't it suck if I just randomly lost it during the middle of the story? And thanks very, very much for the award! YES! I'M ACTUALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING!

R.F.K.a.'...': STOP MELTING MY MONSTERS! Sheesh! They're supposed to be minions of destruction, not generous portions of condiments! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING! ... Anyway, I think you'll be happy to know that this is my - I think - longest chapter of the story. Glad you liked Joey's little bit. I got the weird feeling that he'd probably say that if this particular situation ever appeared on the show. ... But I doubt it. Unless they started copying my ideas. Whoever they are... Right. I'm officially hyper now.

Lady-Crymsyn: I like your penname. Very coolness. Anyways, glad you liked it!

Prozac pandA: I know this was from last chapter's review, but God, I gotta hand it to ya, you know how to make me laugh. Hahaha... Tartar... :D

Thanks to everyone who reviewed this chapters and all the others! I love ya!

The temple was a very familiar looking place to Joey. Probably because it greatly resembled every decrepit building that held within it the demise of a group of spunky teenagers recognised from various horror movies. It was either housing an army of ghosts or a deranged psychopathic killer. At any rate, Joey certainly felt as though this was to be the last place he would ever be.

Shadows jumped out at him at every step, old, broken windows stared at him, covered in layers of grime and other ingredients he was sure he didn't want to know about. Thin, weak beams of light dripped in through the hole they collapsed in, spilling in through various holes in the temple's roof. A steady stream of water droplets echoed throughout the structure, the structure itself weak enough to collapse from those gentle vibrations. Inside was a maze of hallways, stairs and, quite possibly, ancient booby-traps that everyone would assume had broken down long ago until someone was snapped up at the last possible moment. It was quite safe to assume that any careless step they made would most assuredly be their last.

And Yami had insisted they go in after Kaiba.

"We don't want to lose track of him, Joey." Yami had said. "He might get to where we need to be and we'll have no way of finding him."

"But what if he dies?" Joey hadprotested. "What if a giant hole opens up again and he falls in and gets impaled by a thousand million spikes or immortal snakes waiting for their next meal at the bottom of a pit?"

"That's why he's leading."

The pharaoh's words were comforting for the short moment required to get the trio into the temple, but they were beginning to lose their effect as of now.

"Yami." Joey said, walking in the middle of the spirit and his sister.

There was no reply. Yami continued to walk towards Kaiba's shadowy figure off in the distance.

Joey tried again. "Yami."

Still nothing.

"Yami!" Joey shouted, grabbing the pharaoh and tugging on his arm.

Yami turned around, frustrated. "What is it now, Joey?"

"There's someone up there!" Joey whimpered.

"That's Kaiba, Joey." Serenity said. Even she was exasperated from the ridiculous amount of stops they had to make. Joey seemed to be paranoid of everything.

He shook his head at them. "No, I mean someone else. It's like... it's like Kaiba's following someone, y'know? That's why he hasn't been killed yet. Because someone's leading him through. I can just feel it."

"Maybe," Yami said in a low voice, "It's a vampire, and it's waiting to get all of us in the middle of this place so it can suck out our blood and multiply..."

A sharp squeak made its way out of the blond, who promptly turned to his younger sister for support.

"Don't worry, Joey," Serenity smiled. "I'm sure it's nothing. It's just your imagination."

Joey murmured something but accepted her reasoning, allowing them to continue on.

OooOOOooO

"Where are they?" Razatul wondered aloud, scanning the horizon. He had been sensing them not too long ago, following their direction at a leisurely pace, only to have them disappear. "They couldn't have gotten out... I would've known."

Suddenly, his eyes fell upon a gaping hole in the middle of his desert.

"So... They're trying to do away with me, are they?"

OooOOOooO

"... Turn left here..."

Kaiba turned left, stepping over a pile of broken bricks that lay in the hall, long forgotten.

"... Now, when you come to the end of the hallway, turn right..."

Kaiba obliged once more, following the voice's instructions. He turned at the end of the hall, coming to a series of steps that led to a great room. In the centre was what was once a magnificent fountain the sprayed water through the intricate tower that now rested in the middle, as tattered as the rest of the building. In the pool was murky water, and by the water was a faint wisp of a figure.

"... Walk down the stairs and come to me. We'll wait for your friends together..."

Slowly, with a far greater air of caution than before and considerably more than one in his mental state, Kaiba made his way to the fountain. Clearing a space on the pool, he sat down, turning towards the wisp.

"So..." he said, looking into it. "Who are you then?"

"... A friend..."

"Well, that's nice."

OooOOOooO

"He went this way." Yami said, staring determinedly down the hall. "I'm sure of it."

"And where'd he go after that, huh?" Joey demanded. "Just disappeared, right? And so now we're going to go after him and disappear too?"

"Joey, he would've screamed." Serenity told him.

"He's too stupid to scream!" Joey said, throwing his hands into the air. "He's gone! He's dead, and I am not going to go down there to see that corpse of his!"

"Where are you, little ones?" Razatul's voice broke in, attacking them from every angle.

"Alright then, Joey. You stay here. Keep Razatul company." Yami shrugged. "Come on, Serenity. We'll find Kaiba."

The two began walking down the hall, stepping over various, shattered bricks that obscured their paths.

Joey stood at the entrance, standing and looking at their receding forms defiantly. "Well - fine! Go to your dooms then. I'll just stay here, nice and safe."

"Down there, perhaps?" came the chilling voice once more.

"Oh, alright! Wait up!" Joey called to them, rushing after the pair.

When the three had reached the end of the hall, Serenity pointed to the right.

"There!" she cried. "Kaiba's in there. By the fountain, see?"

"He's not moving..." Joey observed, drawing back slightly.

Yami shrugged again, taking a few steps forward. "Would you rather have him on the ground twitching?"

"Yes." Joey said. "Because then I'd know he wasn't completely dead yet."

"Dead people can twitch." Serenity said. "I saw it on Discovery."

"What the heck were you doing watching a Discovery episode about dead people twitching?" Joey said.

Kaiba waved to them from the fountain, watching as they approached.

Yami spoke first. "Kaiba, why'd you come here of all places?"

"Because this is where we're going to die..." Joey mumbled, ignored. "It's the perfect setting. Look at it."

The CEO pointed to the left of him. "She told me to."

"Oh, God..." Joey whined. "The killer's always the first to go insane..."

Yami ignored him. "She? Who's she?"

"Tartra." Kaiba replied, pointing again. "She's sitting right there. Can't you see her?"

"No."

"Well, that's alright." Kaiba chirped. "I couldn't in the beginning either. Then she just kinda... popped out of nowhere."

At that moment, Tartra was visible to them, seemingly popping out of nowhere just as Kaiba had described. It was all Joey needed to shriek and cause a rafter to collapse, consequently encouraging more shrieks. Ittook the combined effort of Yami and Kaiba to shut him up.

"Sorry." Joey said, now face-first on the ground.

"Ah, that's alright." Tartra said, in an upbeat voice. "I'm used to people shrieking in terror. It's never a proper introduction if a rafter doesn't come crashing down, really."

The girl, Tartra, apparently, sat to the left of Kaiba, right where he had pointed. Wildly curly, ice-blue hair was pulled into a very high ponytail on the top of her head as she gazed at them with sparkling, green eyes in a sea of tanned skin. A bright green t-shirt with a white collar at the neck and at the ends of her sleeves adorned her frame, covered by a jean blue pair of overalls - complete with jean straps that went over her shoulders - and that ended just above her knees. On her feet were white sneakers, too clean to have been in here for very long.

Serenity studied the girl in front of her for a moment. She looked to be no older than her. "How'd you get here?"

"Oh, I'm always popping into one realm or another, poking around to see if anyone's home." Tartra explained, happily. "It's the first time I've actually seen someone here. I'm never in for very long, you see? So imagine my surprise when I heard an explosion from overhead when I poofed in."

"That wasn't an explosion." Serenity said. "That was just us crashing through the roof."

"Really?" Tartra said, in a voice just as happy but hiding any signs of real interest if any were there. "Well, no matter. The point is that it caught my attention, so I brought him here in the hopes that you guys would follow." She smiled broadly. "Glad to see it worked."

"What are you doing here?" Yami asked, getting off of Joey. "And why'd you come here?"

"Well, I came here looking for help." Tartra said. "You guys gonna help me? I'll give you a great reward! Anything you want!"

There was silence for a few moments.

"... Can you get rid of Razatul?" Joey asked.

Tartra blinked at him. "Razatul? Who's Razatul?"

"He's the creator of this realm." Yami explained.

"Oh, right. Sure. Whatever. I'll take care of him for ya, but you," she looked at Joey, "will have to do something for me."

"Me?" Joey repeated. "Me? Why me?"

Tartra shrugged. "I don't know. I just figured you might want to get out of this creepy little castle for a while."

Almost immediately Joey said, "What do I have to do?"

Tartra grinned. "Well, you see, I've got a brother. His name's Trawmi. You're with me so far?"

They nodded slowly.

"Good." She said. "Because the rest gets pretty complicated from here on out." Taking in a deep breath, she carried on. "Alright, so, Trawmi and I have three things going for us. One: We're both masters of magic, specifically with things to do with time. Two: We're both immortal. Three: We both have this weird thing that causes us to go backwards in time."

"... Backwards?" Yami said.

"Yeah!" Tartra nodded. "Like when you're watching a movie and you hit the rewind button? You see everything going backwards. Everyone's talking backwards, everyone's moving backwards... You know. Backwards. Well, that's how we live. Everything goes backwards for us."

"You're not going backwards now." Serenity pointed out.

"Well, no, because I've got the Opjant Key." Tartra said, plucking out a golden key dangling on a chain from behind her shirt. "This thing makes me see things properly. Forwards, if you will. Like I've pressed 'stop' and then 'play'. I see things how you do." More nods. "Right, so, Trawmi and I both have Keys that cancel out our tendency to go backwards and make us go forwards at the same speed as the rest of the world. Mine's the Opjant Key, and his is the Tampvo Key."

There was a pause, as Yami asked, "So... what do you want us to do?"

Tartra laughed. "Well, you see, smart as my dear brother is, the genius lost in the Tampvo Key during 3000 B.C somewhere in Egypt, so he started going backwards again. I, of course, still holding my key, continued to go forwards, so we got a little... separated. Anyway, what I want is for you to go and get the Tampvo Key and give it Trawmi for me so we can experience the world from beginning to end this time."

"'This time'?" Yami questioned. "What do you mean 'this time'?"

"Oh, we were born at the Apocalypse." Tartra grinned. "So, since we weren't alive long enough to sin but still wanted to see the world, we kind of got infused with these 'mystical powers' and we went backwards through time right to the beginning. It was pretty cool. We saw a whole bunch of neat stuff! But, you know, things aren't really as cool as when they're playing in reverse. Sure, it's really suspenseful. You're looking at a burned down, old building and then you see it go into flames and the fire-fighters are there, and you're thinking for a while, 'What the heck's going on?' and then you see the careless custodian dropping the cigarette onto the floor. But anyway, we saw everything. Went right back to the beginning, really. Saw God in all his glory, and He said, 'You're going the wrong way!' and then we told Him what happened to us and He gave us these two keys and sent us on our way.

"Anyway, Trawmi was going through Egypt when he suddenly disappeared. I looked around and I saw the Tampvo Key on the ground. But... someone else got to it first and accidentally tapped into its powers. They went back a few seconds and then suddenly they realised the potential powers and took it to this sacred gallery thing. Well, I couldn't very well get in there to get the key back, so I figured, 'Let me go talk to someone who can get it back for me.' Well, I spoke to priests and servants and finally even to the pharaoh - Gee, you look like him! - but no go. I didn't get in, so I decided to poke around various realms and see if there was anyone in there that could help me."

"Why don't you just get rid of your key thing?" Joey asked. "Then we wouldn't have to go get it for you and you'd be able to be with your brother."

Tartra rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "Uh, ­hello! Weren't you just listening to me? We already went backwards. We want to go forwards now. We need that key back, and getting rid of the Opjant Key isn't going to help any." She stopped for a moment. "I could go for some ice-cream. Anyway, you'll get it for me?"

Joey, realising she still meant for him to go, replied, "Uh... Yeah, sure... But if you couldn't get it, what makes you think I can?"

OooOOOooO Important Director's Note OooOOOooO

Wow, I had a weird dream about Pirates of the Caribbean last night... Anyway, I've only been watching an episode here and an episode there of Dawn of the Duels, just to get the gist of things. I truly don't know the past lives of Tea, Tristan, Joey or... well, anyone else who I'm too lazy to mention. Therefore, please don't start snapping at me for getting the past lives wrong or throwing them out of whack. I know they're not right. I've made them to be not right so it fits in with my story. I'm taking Ancient Egypt far, far away from the usual Yu-Gi-Oh style, so just be warned that a lot of the things I'm going to write about aren't going to be exactly... accurate.

OooOOOooO You Better Have Read That OooOOOooO

"Oh, you can." Tartra giggled, almost vibrating with a sudden burst of excitement. "You see, I remember you from your past life. You worked your way up to a pretty convenient position to get that key back! That's why you're going to be perfect. You'll succeed where I failed."

"... If you say so." Joey shrugged.

"Then you'll do it?" Tartra said, clasping her hands together.

"Yeah, sure." Joey shrugged again. "Why not?"

Tartra squealed ecstatically. "Then you'll need a mode of transportation, won't you?"

"... Yes..." Joey said slowly. Something was slightly off about this girl. She seemed a bit too happy.

At that, she clapped her hands together. A blue-green orb came into focus above her hands, as she delicately reached into it and picked out a golden chain. Then she gently rubbed the chain on the Opjant Key and then handed the entire key to the blond.

"There! This'll get you to Ancient Egypt." Tartra said. "Since I don't have the Opjant Key anymore, I'll be going backwards with you. Once there, I'll take the key from you and give you this. It now officially has the essence of Opjant on it, so you'll be able to go backwards through time a little bit later when you have the Tampvo Key to give it to Trawmi."

"I thought you said the keys made you go forward." Yami butt in.

"Did I say that?" Tartra said. "Well, what I meant was that it cancels out your current time direction and makes you go the opposite way. So, sincethis one'sgoing forwards right now, the Opjant Key's going to make him go backwards when he taps into it."

"Wait - What if I go back too far?" Joey said, as she hastily tied the key around his neck.

"Don't worry!" Tartra said. "I'll be going back at the same speed as you, so I'll be right be your side the whole time. I'll get you to where you need to go, clothed and everything. I'll make sure you're right at the time when you're the Pharaoh's right-hand man." She brought herself up short, then looked at Yami. "Hey! You were the Pharaoh, weren't you?" Swiftly cutting the spirit off, she continued. "Alright, buckaroo, let's get this cattle drive a'movin'! Hang on, it's going to be a real fast trip." She slapped her hands on his shoulders, as the chains and key began to glow with a drug-induced happy, golden light.

"Wait, wait!" Joey cried. "What about -" His words were suddenly ripped out of his mouth as everything around him blurred. Wind rushed about him as various blasts of light exploded in every direction.

"This is the creation of that Razatul guy's realm." Tartra cheerily explained, clearly unaffected by the speed they were whipping by at. Quite soon, all was black around them. "Yeah, and this is before it was conceived. Hope you don't mind the tempo. I have to speed things up a little bit so we don't spend all of eternity trying to get to the -3000's."

"Can you do that?" Joey gasped out, struggling to suck in some of the air blazing past.

"I told you, I'm a master of the magics of time. Trust me!"

Somehow, those words made Joey trust her even less.

"Alright, home-dog! We're going to blast through to another realm. Hold on tight!" Tartra shrieked with glee.

A burst of light, wind and energy slapped into Joey all at once, nearly knocking him off his feet if it weren't for Tartra holding him in place. Then, just as fast as it had started, it stopped.

"We're here!" Tartra sang out, letting go of Joey who then promptly collapsed onto the ground. She looked down at the blond heap. "Right, sorry about the ride. It's always a bit overwhelming to newcomers. You don't know how many people didn't survive that trip!"

"That's nice to know." Joey wheezed.

Tartra looked around her. "You know... I think we're a bit early... Looks like you'll have to work your way up to your destined position after all. That sucks. Well, whatever. You'll do it. As for right now... clothes!" She waved her hands again, and in a way that Joey would prefer to forget, he was wrapped up in beige coloured...

"What the heck's this?" Joey yelled. "I thought you said I was the Pharaoh's right-hand man! Why do these clothes suck so much?"

"I did say that, I know." Tartra nodded. "But I also said, 'looks like you'll have to work your way up to your destined position after all.' You started from humble beginnings, kid. What can I say?"

"This humble?" Joey muttered, getting up shakily.

Tartra handed him the golden chain, snatching back her precious key. As Joey mournfully surveyed his clothes, Tartra was busy summoning a blue stone to existence. Handing it to him, she said, "I'm going back into the future. This'll be like a walkie-talkie. Give it a squeeze and talk as you please." She stopped to giggle. "Anyway, good luck!"

"Wait!" Joey said hastily. "Where am I supposed to go?"

"Oh. Right." Tartra said. "Yeah, you're not supposed to be in Egypt just yet. Don't worry. I'll get you to where you need to go."

"You keep saying that," Joey said. "And so far you've always been a little off -"

His world went black as Tartra delivered him a hefty crack to the head.

"When you wake up," her voice said to him, "you'll be where you need to be and in the proper setting. Don't worry about trying to get to Egypt; your brothers will get you there for you. Good luck, kiddo! Find me that key! ... And here's some hair for bangs. You look hideous with that hacked off look. What were you thinking going for that haircut?"

OooOOOooO

OOOOO

OOOOO

D/N: And that's it for Book One:D I'd really like to think that over the course of this story that my writing has dramatically improved. If you agree, REVIEW! If you don't, REVIEW! If you really couldn't care less, tell me in a REVIEW! Just so long as you review, I'm happy! Any and all reviews will be answered in the first chapterof the next book. Anyway, thank-you all for sticking with me, and I'll be getting out Book Two shortly. Hope you keep reading! Haha, let's see if you can guess what Joey is in his past life. It's pretty specific! I've gotta go back now and start editing my chapters, and then... Oh God... now I have to get to work on The Fantastic Freaks! ... Actually, I think I'll get back to that story right after I finish this little trilogy. I really don't want to have to work on four stories at the same time...