I'm posting this here because I've had a number of people asking me for it somewhere other than my yahoo group. I hope you guys like it as much as everyone else.

TITLE: Raven's Gift

AUTHOR: Alia

STATUS/PART: 1/?

EMAIL:

RATING: PG-13...maybe R

PAIRING: Severus Snape / unknown character (I haven't decided who yet)

SPOILERS: Um...OotP? (Sirius is dead. That's one down)

WARNINGS: slash, mpreg, a little language

DISCLAIMER: I do not in anyway or fashion own HP or anything else. I'm making no money from this.

SUMMARY: Severus reminisces.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: My summary sucks. For a description that would be better than my own, the kid reminds me of an 11 year old Xander (BtVS). I also had to do actual research to find both wood and core for Sev's wand so please be appreciative. Be ready for plenty of flashbacks in this.

Glaring at the mess in the room, the man turned curtly on his heel as he stomped outside the door of his home. The room had been clean just that morning whether it was believable or not. There had been no shirts thrown all over the place, no shoes lying around, pants were in the drawers, and there was nothing moving under the bed.

However, he'd learned the hard way that the boy was naturally messy (he'd been bitten by who knows what after reaching beneath the bed) and somehow he'd attributed the particular trait from his other father.

He slammed the door of the cottage closed behind him and momentarily hoped his son heard the first warning. Though the modest green cottage looked quite small on the outside, it was much larger inside. It often reminded him of his former residence before moving out into the countryside after the war. Except that this place actually had a good abundance of light to filter in, something that he had gotten used to.

Moving faster, he skirted around a corner of his home and spotted the large sycamore that the boy could usually be found in. The tree sat mostly alone on a hill about 15 feet from the cottage but it would not take him long to get there. Taking a deep breath, he gave his son the second warning in case the first had gone unheard.

"JULIAN TRITON ESAN!!!"

A distant cry could be heard. Either the boy knew he was in for it, and indeed he was, or he'd nearly fallen out of the tree. Knowing his son, the boy was cursing the fact that he hadn't fallen. He finally made his way to the foot of the tree. Looking up into the dense branches he called up. "Julian!"

A mop of dirty black hair and a pair of large brown eyes peeped through the branches to the bottom. A gulp was heard across the countryside. "Yes papa?" said a meek voice.

The man glowered up at his only child. Thank Merlin, it was his only child. Who knew what would happen otherwise. "Julian," he said, struggling to keep his temper, "Are you dressed?" Please say no or so help me...

"No, Papa," Julian replied as he looked at the dark blue eyes glaring back up at him.

"Well, thank Merlin for small blessings, but why are you not ready? You do understand what we are doing today correct?"

A small throat cleared. "Yes, sir. We have to go to the shop. Then to Diagon Alley for my supplies this year."

His father nodded. "So why are you not standing by the fireplace, dressed, with a clean bedroom, and prepared to go? Was there some strange development that came up inside of the tree? Or did you just get one of your urges to be one with the squirrels?"

Tanned cheeks from practically living outside turned red. The man sighed as he looked up at his son. "Julian, why are you not ready to go? I thought you wanted to meet Matthew at Diagon Alley."

The boy nodded and began carefully climbing down the tree. His father shook his head. The first time Julian had started climbing trees, he'd been five years old. He'd nearly had a heart attack but the boy hadn't fell once and hadn't stopped yet.

He took a step back so that his son could get a clear shot down when he jumped down from a branch. Julian looked up sheepishly at his father. "I saw him again, Papa."

He frowned. "Julian!"

"But I did, I was looking for the watch Matthew gave me,"

"I can tell," muttered his father.

"When I saw him! He was flying over the cottage then into the tree. I climbed up and I saw him right before he flew away!"

His father hesitated before nodding. For the last couple weeks, Julian had been quite adamant that he'd seen a phoenix of all things flying through the forest. He'd never seen it but he believed his son to a degree. The boy had been taught not to lie (unless absolutely necessary).

"Alright, Julian, I believe you but right now you must get ready. Go inside, change into your clothes, and don't forget your robes or your watch." The boy nodded and started running for their home. "The watch is in the kitchen!" Shaking his head, Severus walked wearily after his son.

The door to the cottage had been left open so he walked inside taking care to lock it securely. While he heard his son furiously throwing on his clothes, Severus took a moment to check the wards over his home. He never left without doing so because his paranoia had remained even after the end of the war and especially after Julian was born. Even though he himself was unsure of the boy's father's fate, it hadn't stopped him from imagining the worst case scenario.

Severus walked over to the fireplace. Beside it was a mirror and he took a moment to straighten the gray robes, also making sure that his wand was still there. Julian came flying around the corner into the living room. That was surprising since he was dragging his trunk behind him.

"Clothes and other essentials?"

"Packed and I'm wearing the ones we took out last night."

"Robes?"

"The dress ones."

"We'll get the others today. Watch?" The boy gasped then raced back out. Severus rubbed his temples but looked at his smile in the mirror.

Twelve years ago he looked nothing like he did now. For one thing his robes fit him much better than they had before, he was no where near the edge of exhaustion like he had been constantly during the war. He ate better, got exercise chasing after Julian, and actually looked his age. He was no longer ghostly pale either.

When Julian was a baby, he'd loved to go out, dragging his paranoid father along behind him. After spending so much time out and not hiding in the dark like he admitted to doing so long ago, he'd gotten color on his face. The light tan had nothing to do with the glamour he always wore. It did nothing more than change his eyes to a dark blue rather than black and change the features of his face ever so slightly. He'd even kept the nose and his hair was now always clean. The black locks looked well with the hair cut as well. Severus chuckled. The ones that had known him most of his life would know it was him though they would have to look very closely to see it.

Severus sighed as he looked at the Hogwarts letter sitting on his mantle. After all these years...

He'd left Hogwarts right after the war. Actually, he honestly thought they considered him dead, which was what he wanted. The moment Potter had killed Voldemort, Severus had apparated away to the cottage. He wanted nothing to do with that part of the wizarding world ever again.

He'd gotten himself a shop after turning his money into a new account with his new name. He sold ingredients and potions to people who were too lazy or stupid to make them themselves, then researched in his spare time and he enjoyed it. He'd raised his son the way he wanted and both he and his child were finally happy. Now, here he was sending his son back there for the first time.

Severus sighed. Well, not the first if you counted the timing of the boy's conception and the first two months of Severus's pregnancy. He frowned at himself in the plain mirror. He really didn't like to think about that.

FLASHBACK

Moving swiftly through the streets of Knockturn Alley, Severus Snape finally made his way toward Dionysia. Wrapping the thin cloak somewhat closer around him Severus eyed the small establishment.

Though it looked small on the first floor, Dionysia had three underground floors that were larger than the Leaky Cauldron. Besides, the large rooms were needed. Dionysia's name was startlingly appropriate for what went on inside. Every night was a celebration worthy of Dionysus, full of drinking and outrageous sexual practices.

Severus cursed himself for coming here but he only needed one night, one individual. It didn't matter who the man was, pureblood or not, the potion would only need him to sleep with the bastard once. He shook his head slowly, still having trouble believing that he was doing this.

The tension of the upcoming final battle was stifling the wizarding world and with him running himself ragged between both Dumbledore and Voldemort, it would be surprising if he lived to see the end of it, but he had to do it. He took a few short steps before heading inside of Dionysia.

He opened his cloak somewhat to reveal the thin black shirt and leather pants. Severus felt like a fool sitting at one of the many bars on the second level advertising himself like a whore but he would do it.

He knew it the day Pompfrey had told him that the accumulating amount of the Cruciatus was deteriorating his reproductive system and that he had less than a year of it left. Oh he could impregnate a woman but he couldn't bear them himself.

With wizards, they had two ways of reproducing as they could impregnate and become pregnant. Often, if the wizard was powerful enough, their magic would form a pseudo womb around the unborn until birth. This was good since a fair number of wizards in their world were admittedly either gay or bisexual.

Unfortunately, Severus was one of the many gay wizards and the curses Voldemort threw at him were beginning to affect his magic. With it being so troublesome he'd never be able to form a womb and the thought of sleeping with a woman... Despite popular commentary, Severus was actually quite fond of children. Just not the children he taught.

He took a deep breath as he observed a man of his age looking at him from the other end of the bar. The man, with shaggy black hair, brown eyes and pale skin, kept taking small glimpses of the potions master as Severus sat trying to prevent himself from getting drunk. Severus braced himself as the man came and sat beside him. A few long fingers brushed the hand that clutched his wineglass.

"Xanthus Zephryn."

Steeling himself, he turned to look up into the dark brown eyes. "Raven Esan."

The man opened his hand and 'Raven' (as Severus wore his glamour) noticed that Xanthus seemed somewhat nervous. But he was no fool and knew the man wanted them to go to the fourth level were the rooms were. Severus took his hand.

Severus followed Xanthus, who still held his hand, through the many hallways. The walls of the dark passages did nothing to muffle the cries of both pleasure and pain coming from within the rooms. The darkness of the halls also did nothing much to hide the occasional coupling of others that took place against any horizontal or vertical surface they passed.

Finally they reached one of the empty rooms. A house elf bowed to them, his small hands clutching soiled sheets before he disappeared, leaving them in the now clean room. Xanthus stepped aside and let Severus enter. As the man removed his cloak, Xanthus closed and locked the door.

End Flashback

He shook himself out of the memory of that night as he heard Julian rushing back into the room. The night with Julian's father had not been bad at all. The two of them had actually talked more than they fucked.

Severus had liked the man and the one time with Xanthus had turned into three despite the other man's obvious inexperience of that night. He wondered silently if the auror really had died in the final battle but Severus, or 'Raven' as he was now called, was in no hurry to find out. He knew what he was getting into when he took the potion. He would parent alone without any interference from anyone else. Julian was his son.

He looked at the eleven-year-old before him. "Ready? We go to the shop first, then the Leaky Cauldron." The boy nodded anxiously. Severus smiled. He turned to the fireplace with a hand of floo powder. "Zelda's!"

As his son tried to brush the soot from his robes, Severus quickly moved to the front of Zelda's, his potions store and apothecary. He named the store after his mother, Zelda Snape, who died when Severus was very young.

He grabbed two large boxes that sat near the front counter of the store. "Julian, come take your box." There was a cauldron, potions bottles, and ingredients for both him and Matthew. This way both their fathers saved time and money.

He shrunk them both, though wary about doing so and gave one to Julian. "Okay."

"I have Matthew's. Now, lets get to the Leaky Cauldron." The boy nodded and Severus noticed he was shaking somewhat. "Everything will be fine Julian." He took a deep breath and nodded curtly. Severus grabbed another hand of floo powder. "The Leaky Cauldron."

As Severus and his son finished clean up, Severus moved toward Tom.

"Hello sir! My name is Tom. How may I help?"

"My son and I would like a room for the night." After getting everything straightened out, and their things placed inside their room, Severus took a moment to notice his son.

The boy was no longer scared or nervous. He was rather excited however, and Severus knew to get the boy into Diagon Alley soon. He'd only taken him there once when he was two and that was only because Severus had an important package to deliver to the apothecary that couldn't be sent by owl.

"Julian! Calm yourself."

The boy nodded but continued hoping from foot to foot. "I'm sorry Papa but I'm excited. I've never been before."

"Yes you have."

"Alright, I've never seen it before. I was too occupied with other things when I was two."

Severus bit back the reply of trying to give him heart failure. During Julian's life, Severus had found a new respect for Molly Weasley. He blamed Xanthus for the boy's wild behavior at times. "Come on. We should go looking for Matthew and Ash." Julian nodded and he and his father both rushed out of the room.

After tapping just the right brick, Severus and Julian entered Diagon Alley. He gave his son a few moments to observe both the people and stores before grabbing the boy and heading down the street. "Look for Matthew and his father."

"Where are we going?"

"We need to stop at Gringott's for a moment. I need to get some money." Although Severus stuck to the money from his shop, he rarely used the money in his new account. Immediately before his 'death', he had all his money changed under the name Raven Esan. This would be the first time in years that he used it.

Julian was fascinated by the Goblins and though it made Severus nauseous, Julian loved the carts.

As they walked out with plenty of money, Severus found himself looking down the street of Knockturn Alley. Julian looked at his father then down the street. "Is that it?"

"Yes." Severus had never lied to Julian and had told the boy the truth. He'd even told Julian his father's name though if the boy ever asked him to find the man, if he was alive, Severus wasn't sure he'd do it. He looked at the boy.

"I know. Never go to Knockturn Alley."

"Exactly. Where would you like to head first?" Julian looked longingly at Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. "Flourish & Blott's, it is." Julian sighed and followed his father.

"Jules!"

"Matt! We were looking for you." Both boys hugged quickly before rushing to the back of the store.

"Julian, the list?"

"Matt has his!" Severus sighed and Ash laughed at him.

The tall black man walked toward him. "At least he only forgot the list, Raven." S

everus snorted. "Oh yes. And next time he will forget his head." Ash chuckled as they stood back and watched their sons race around the store. Finally both boys had their books ready and paid for.

"Where to next?" asked Ash.

"The Ice Cre-," "How about Scribbulus? They need their stationery." The boys grumbled. "Then we can head toward the menagerie or the owl emporium." Both children brightened.

Julian exited the stationery store with his purchases then joined Matthew staring at the new broom. Both boys drooled and Severus watched somewhat disgusted.

"Well?"

Ash glared at the young boys. "The new broom, the White Blaze, is out. The two of them have yet to understand that they will not be getting said broom." This snapped the boys out of their daze long enough for the older men to drag them to the owl emporium.

Matthew searched hard and decided on an intelligent brown owl that took a liking to him. Julian, however, was totally uninterested in them.

"The menagerie?" Ash suggested as they left with Shawn, Matt's owl.

"No. I don't really want anything in there."

"You don't know what they have," said Severus.

"No thanks, Papa."

"Alright. Madam Malkin's and then your wands."

Just as they turned to walk to her shop however something flew down directly toward them. Both Ash and Severus pushed the boys behind them. At least until Severus got a good look at the bird. "I don't believe it." The phoenix flew over his head and land carefully on Julian's shoulder. The boy was too busy looking at the bird to smirk at his father or pay attention to the shocked crowd. "It's you!" He caressed the bird gently.

Severus turned to Ash. "Mind getting a cage?"

"Welcome Gentlemen!" Severus nodded at the kind old woman as they finally made way into her shop, birds and all. It had been years since he'd last seen her and she'd barely aged at all.

Ash cleared his throat. "We'd like Hogwarts robes for both boys and a dress robe for Matthew."

"Excellent. All right you two. Get on to the stools." As Severus watched his son be fitted for his robes his mind slid back to the night he was conceived.

Flashback

Xanthus had fallen asleep on his shoulder and had left him awake to stare at the stone ceiling above the bed. He could feel it now. If Severus held still enough he could feel the warmth that raced through his abdomen, circling. It was forming a womb around the small being that now existed. Summoning his wand as he did not want to awaken Xanthus, he began placing as many protection spells around the child as possible and as strong as he could make them. He knew he would have to go back to Voldemort and didn't want the babe to suffer. Silently thanking Xanthus for his gift, Severus slid from the bed, dressed and left but not before taking on last look at the man. Though there was no doubt in his mind that he would never share his child with the man...Nodding slowly, he turned and slipped out the door.

End Flashback

A half-hour later, they were ready for Ollivander's. However they passed Gambol & Japes. Both boys looked pleadingly at their fathers.

Severus growled. "You would think that you would try to keep from being expelled?"

"Papa, please! I'm begging you." It was more like groveling.

Severus sighed. Should he really give into the child? The begging brown eyes screamed yes. "Five minutes. One thing."

"Yes!" Five minutes later both boys were ready for Ollivander's. What they bought their fathers did not want to know.

Ollivander was just finishing with a customer when the four of them entered. A red haired girl, who instantly reminded Severus of the Weasleys rushed passed them and out to the street, wand in hand. He took a deep breath when Bill Weasley walked by them laughing and thanking Ollivander.

"Well! Ash Lyrin, cedar and unicorn hair." Ash laughed but nodded. Ollivander turned and looked at Severus. The younger man held his breath waiting.

"Raven Genesis Esan, yew and phoenix feather." Severus bit back a sigh of relief and nodded. He turned to the boys.

"Matthew, first, yes?" The boy stepped forward and ten minutes later found his wand. Matt smiled at the Dogwood and Unicorn hair.

Julian shifted nervously as the old man looked at him.

"Hmmm. I believe that your core will most likely be phoenix feather like your fathers." Severus looked at him sharply. "But we shall see."

It was almost an hour before Julian found his. "Ash Tree and Phoenix feather." Ollivander smiled. "Such greatness." Severus almost bolted from the store at that but calmly paid Ollivander before heading out.

"Mr. Esan?"

Severus froze. "Yes?" "I wanted to say that I am sorry about the untimely death in your family over ten years ago. That man has been greatly missed." Severus smiled sadly. "By some but not I." With that he exited with his son and friends.

The next day the boys stood before the train at the 9 ¾ station waiting to board the train. They stood in their robes waiting for departure, the trunks already loaded.

Severus pulled Julian to the side so that Matt's parents and brother could say goodbye. "Everything will be fine alright?"

Julian nodded but was silent. He clutched Ignis's cage to his chest.

"If anything happens, go to your head of house, another teacher or the Headmaster, understand? He's a good man and he should help you."

Julian smiled. "Should I tell Professor Dumbledore that he's my godfather?"

Severus shook his head but smirked. Oh he'd love to see the look on Albus's face at that declaration. "And if they can't help contact me immediately."

"Do you care what house I get into?" asked Julian carefully.

Severus shook his head. "I don't care what you decide. As far as I know, your father could have been a Gryffindor." Julian laughed at that and nodded.

"Be careful alright. I went through too much to bring you here for something to take you away from me."

Julian smiled. Placing Ignis to the side, he hugged his father. "I'll write as much as I can." Severus nodded and pushed the boy toward the train.

Flashback

Severus screamed in pain as another contraction hit. The midwife from his shop's village was shouting encouragement as he tried to push his son out of him. Her assistant, a young woman who was just finding out what she was getting into, gave him the leverage he needed while trying not to faint from him crushing her hand.

They'd been at this for hours. More than a day if you counted the mild cramping Severus had had before bed the other evening. He'd been speaking to a customer when he'd gone into labor. The woman had raced from the shop calling for the midwife.

He closed his eyes from the sight of blood soaking both his lower body and the sheets. Severus panted heavily. He would take Voldemort over this any day!

"One more push, Raven! Just one more!" He glowered at her. Silly bitch! She had no children, how could she say that like it was the easiest thing in the world?

Taking a deep breath, he pushed cursing both himself and Xanthus. "YES!" cried the midwife joyfully. Falling back against the assistant in exhaustion, he listened to the screaming of the little boy before he was placed in his father's arms.

The women watched him quietly both holding smiles on their faces. The assistant's was a bit bitter however. As explanation to his pregnancy, the town had come to the conclusion that his lover had been killed during the war. Severus did nothing to disprove them. "What will you name him, Raven?" "Julian Triton Esan."

End Flashback

Severus waved at his son as Julian waved good bye.

TBC

Alia: Oh no. I have to get at Severus one more time. grins evilly

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