Again And Again

By Jamie Day

Chapter 1

Don't own Gundam Wing

Relena stood on the balcony overlooking the manmade lake that her father had created as a gift for her 16th birthday. She stared at the luminous moonbeams shining starkly across the dark stillness of the water. It reminded her of Heero. But then it had become and obsession lately to think of him. He was always calm and still until he was provoked to ripples of anger, which Duo had pointed out to her earlier that very day, only seemed to happen when she was in danger. But this realization led to more questions. Once cherished memories of him were now torture. Why didn't he tell me he was leaving? Why won't he come back to me?

She could remember when they used to meet at this very spot. They could sit and talk for hours about everything and nothing. A tear slowly slid down her cheek. Sometimes they would talk about how things should be different for them. Sometimes they talked about how hard it was to live the life fate had chosen for them. At other times they would talk and laugh about how they met and the string of events that followed. They always talked about how much had changed between them. That particular subject always came up but somehow they still didn't seem to know just how much had changed. Not to the full extent, at any rate. By this time her face was flooded with tears that refused to stay locked up. It still hurt to remember their last night talking together and yet it was he fondest memory of him as yet.

Flashback

Heero stood leaning against the railing of the balcony; his head dipped low, hiding his beautiful eyes behind his veil of hair. Relena couldn't help but think of how handsome and mysterious he looked in that particular pose. She couldn't help but admire him for everything he was. It still shocked her when she looked up at him and say him looking back at her. Sometimes she was even blessed with a smile on his perfect face. He would never smile in public but even just the same…when they were alone and she said or did something funny from his point of view he would grace her with a smile that would completely melt her insides. Paying such close attention she almost failed to realize what he was leaning on but when she did she felt a pang of dread within her. "Heero, don't lean against that. You don't know how old that is; what if you fell over the edge? What would I do then?"

Heero looked up at her, surprised. He watched her eyes. She looked genuinely concerned. It astonished him every time he would look up at her and see emotion for him hiding somewhere deep in her eyes. It was a wonderfully redeeming feeling to know that someone still cared about him. He felt even better with the knowledge that the person who cared for him was Relena. His blonde headed angel. The one and only girl he could ever care about now.

"Relena." He whispered emotionally, moving away from the edge. Relena watched with a sense of happy disbelief as Heero gestured for her to come to him. She did as he motioned without taking time to think about it. She barely even took time to think, dreading the thought that if she did this dream would suddenly fly by her and leave her untouched. She stopped toe to toe with him and looked up into his wonderful gray eyes. They were so gorgeous they seemed to take her breath away. Heero heard her startled gasp as he pulled her up into his arms and buried his face in her hair.

He felt only a bittersweet pain from holding her. He never wanted to let her go but he knew that eventually he must. He pulled away from her so they were looking in each other's eyes. They where only inches apart. They stayed this way, enchanted by each other for a while. Suddenly he could stand being so distanced from her no longer and he closed that space and took her mouth in a deep, passionate, gentle kiss. This was a soul-searching kiss. It asked the heart many questions. He pulled away leaving them both panting from the small taste of passion they had just encountered.

He gently nudged her neck with his lips before placing his head on her forehead and looking down at her thinking about what a picture she made. Panting from the experience he had just shared with her, eyes closed, before saying. "Relena, sometimes the heart is smarter than the head. Right now my head says to me be cautious. It tells me not to open myself up to be hurt once again." He nuzzled her cheek up to her ear. "However, this is one of those times." He whispered into her ear, sending tremors racing down her spine. "And my heart whispers to me beseechingly tell her, tell her. And so I will tell you what I believe from the very depths of my soul." He took a deep breath before he plunged in. "Relena, I love you. No, I more than love you. They haven't even made a word that can even begin to describe what I feel for you. They say love happens every day. But not this. Not what I fell for you. It's one of a kind. It's ours and only ours."

Relena felt the tears falling down her cheeks to drop and pool in the hollow groove of her collarbone. "Oh, Heero, I love you, too." He dipped his head down and his tongue tasted her sweet tears as he lapped up the tears from the delicate curve of bone. She cried out and fell back into his arms tears staining his shirt.

He looked down at the top of her head before resting his own head upon hers. "Relena." God, how I love her, he thought.

End Flashback

" Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you had to go? You just left me here. Did you hate me? Please don't say that's true. I used to be mad at you but now I don't care anymore. Just please come back. Please." She whispered falling to her knees and placing her face to the cold cement of the balcony rails before covering her head as more tears fell down her face.