Hello everyone, I'm back. Yes, this fic was deleted. Apparently some cowardly fool named GtaJake MK-II didn't like the way my fic was formatted. Read his profile. See if you would be able to stand in a room with him for more than 2 seconds. Search for GtaJakeMK-II.
Anyway, I am still working on future chapters. Here are the ideas I'm going to use/have used:
Stapler
Toaster
Microphone
Stereo
Alarm Clock
Lawnmower
Blow Drier
Can Opener
TV
Ceiling Fan
Pencil Sharpener
Stove
Washing Machine
Dryer
Computer
If you have more suggestions, I'd love to use them. I'm very sorry if I can't fit in your ideas/suggestions/requests. I may use them later; I never really know.
This fic is in regular format now. I am trying as hard as I can to make it as humorous as before. If it becomes steadily less amusing, drop me a line, I'm a dumb fish. :P Many thanks to my many reviewers; I deeply appreciate your kindness. So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to my favorite evil psycho, who will be the main character in this fic. Yami no Marik, get over here.
Y. Marik ran and hid behind conveniently located computer chair that Daisaigai happened to be sitting on.
"...I can still see you."
"Darn it." Yami Marik ripped the sink out of wall, and hid behind it instead.
O.o He's paying for that...
Yep. I have chapters 1-8 saved on my computer, so I'll be reformatting them and posting them at random times. Don't worry; I don't plan on falling off the face of the earth and never finishing this fic. Heck, it's humor, so the ideas and inspiration come and go.
Hmmm...enough of my ranting.
On with the fic.
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Ishtar ResidenceMarik Ishtar walked into the kitchen, struggling to carry a very large stack of unstapled papers while simultaneously grumbling under his breath.
"Stupid Kaiba...just had to file a lawsuit against me...it was his fault, not mine..."
He walked through the kitchen and the living room, and into the computer room.
"Idiot yami...and he has to live here...Isis is too soft, she won't send him to a psycho ward..."
At that moment, Yami Marik, who happened to be spinning around and around and around and around and around and around and around on the spinning chair, stuck his leg out and tripped his hikari.
"OUCH!!!!!!!!" Marik had fallen with a resounding "thud". His yami started laughing. The papers flew in every direction; inflicting severe paper cuts to all who encountered their wrath. Yami Marik pulled his cape around him so that the paper could not inflict damage upon him. Marik, however, did not wear a cape, so was promptly assaulted by super-thin pieces of tree.
"Ow! Yami-ouch- you moron! You- yeeouch! - did that- OW- on purpose!!!"
Marik got up, and pointed at his yami. "Staple these papers! It's your fault I got sued, anyway."
Yami Marik stopped laughing long enough to say, "Why should I?"
"Because if you don't, I'll use the Rod to make you wear a pink dress while dancing in the middle of a street singing "The Hokey Pokey," Marik snarled furiously. A/N: Baaaaaaad mental image...
Yami Marik blanched. Pink was obviously not his color.
"Whatever."
He picked up the stapler that was lying on the desk. To his shock, it emitted a hiss.
"Must...jam..."
Yami Marik jumped approximately 7.6 inches into the air. "AHHHHHHH!!! It's possessed!!"
Marik, who had been growling under his breath the whole time, did not hear the stapler's venomous hiss. "What are you talking about?" he snapped.
The stapler began to hum a tune that sounded shockingly similar to the Star Spangled Banner. Which was very odd, since the Ishtars were living in Japan.
Marik's alarmingly purple eyes widened, and he backed away slowly.
"Um...you're on your own with this one," he said from the safety of the other side of the door.
Yami Marik gulped.
The stapler hissed again, and pounced. "Must...STAPLE!!!!!!!!!!" It began to chase Yami Marik mercilessly around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around the room. Marik went to fetch the Camcorder.
Eventually Yami Marik grew tired, and decided that sending the stapler to the Shadow Realm was much less exhausting. "DIE EVIL THING!!!!!!" he roared, aiming the Millennium Rod at the stapler, which had climbed to the top of the desk to refill its store of staples.
There was a small pop, and the stapler had vanished.
"That was...weird," Yami Marik panted.
Marik had returned with the Camcorder, careful to hide it behind his back. He noticed something was missing.
"Where'd my stapler go?" he asked in a voice of forced calm.
"Um...Isentittotheshadowrealm," Yami Marik said in an extremely and ridiculously fast voice.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, MORON!!!!!!" Marik screamed. He grabbed the Rod from his yami,
"It was just a stapler!!" Yami Marik yelled, frantically putting up mental barriers to block out the Rod's power. Needless to say, he failed.
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Later that day, neighbors stopped and stared. A very odd scene was taking place.
The taller of the Ishtar "twins" was in the middle of the street singing the Barney song to the tune of a very slow funeral march in a much too high-pitched voice, while dancing around in a bright pink dress. Mothers covered their children's eyes, for fear their impressionable young minds would be scarred forevermore. Which was true.
A honking noise was heard. A large mail truck was quickly making its way along the street where the freak was dancing. The mailman stared, until he remembered he had a VERY important delivery to make. The mailman honked the horn loudly, and continued to drive on. The weirdo kept dancing. Luckily for him, he hokey-pokied out of the way just in time.
The shorter of the two "twins" was rolling on the ground laughing, next to a tripod that was supporting a Camcorder. A werewolf was holding the Millennium Rod and laughing maniacally.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The mailman kept driving down the lane, shaken by what he had just seen. He cleared his head as much as possible before going to the next house. He needed his wits about this place...
The mailman, who's name happened to be Pegasus, drove up to the house that most people tended to avoid. Some said a white-haired demon lived there. Others claimed if you stood for too long in the yard, zombies would rise from the earth and peel the flesh off your bones. Still others were no longer alive to tell their opinion.
Pegasus got out of the truck, and stood on the sidewalk. He peered down at the brick sidewalk
"Right three steps, two down, eight left, five up..." he muttered as he carefully stepped on a single brick at a time. Suddenly, his foot slipped, and he fell to ground, hitting all the bricks.
"Noooooo..." Pegasus groaned. He shielded his face with his arms.
A furious spitting sound was heard as a terrifying monster sped towards him, claws out and fangs bared.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pegasus screamed, as the monster ripped at him.
"Draculita, that's enough," said a harsh voice with a hint of a British accent. The terrifying monster was lifted off of him. Pegasus gasped.
It was the fabled White-Haired Demon!
Screaming for his life, Pegasus got to his feet and ran off.
"Good girl," Bakura purred to the tiny black kitten nestled in his arms. He calmly walked back inside.
ooooooooooooooooooooo
Pegasus was trembling as he walked out to the next house, heavy package under one arm. This was only his first week on the job, and of course his boss had to send him to this psycho neighborhood. (A/N: Do mailmen actually have bosses?)
He cautiously approached the door.
A teenage girl stepped out, smiling. "Thank you," she said to him.
"Y-y-you're welcome," Pegasus stuttered, handing her the package. He was amazed that he wasn't being attacked or mauled at this very instant. He walked back to his truck, still shaking.
The girl, whose name happened to be Tea, peered at the package. "Happy Hanukah, from your Uncle Hoolacabaka!"
"It's my birthday, though..." Tea muttered, ripping off the packaging, revealing a cast-iron skillet.
"I guess this come in handy sometime..."
(((((((((((end))))))))))))
Oh my...I have the strangest ideas. I hope I didn't burn anyone's eyes out.
"Too late..." whimpered a random reader.
Erm...sorry about that. Any idea at all that you have, send it to me. Unlike the last time I had this fic up, not all the chapters will contain possessed objects. The "and Other Tales" part of the title comes into effect. If this fic was not humorous at all, kindly tell me. I might post the original format of this fic on another website. If I do, I'll alert you right away. Thanks to Fast-Talking Johnny for helping me write the original version of this chapter...review please. Send your ideas.
Meanwhile, as I was giving this obnoxious speech...
"This is for making me get chased by a possessed stapler, AND making my do that stupid dance thing!!!!!!!" Yami Marik roared, waving Clair around.
" NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Fast-Talking Johnny.
Dramatic background music began to play, and Johnny got a manic look in her eyes.
"Oh no. The band nerd within her is taking over," Daisaigai said, horrified and amused at the same time.
" FWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"YAR!!"
Daisaigai watched as Johnny ran after Yami Marik, caught him, grabbed her clarinet, beat him with it, and played Taps.
Daisaigai grinned, and said, "My trumpet would've inflicted much more damage..."
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