Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Fruits Basket or anything pertaining to the manga or anime. The characters, places, etc... are not mine, nor do I lay any claim on them. This is not an attempt to infringe on any rights or copyrights, as this is purely for entertainment.

Authors Note: The sixth chapter. My ongoing fiction continues. Again, as always, please let me know of any mistakes, misspellings, or what not. I need the help. I have yet to proofread and edit this mess. This chapter is yet, another attempt to find the flow and voice of the chapters pre-5. I hope I'm finally getting there, though I have my doubts, of course. I'm still searching for what I lost.

Edited - sorry it isn't much better, but a bit has changed, and I hope it's an improvement on the original post, now that I've redone some of the damn thing.

Title: 'Autumn'

Author: Evie Gunn

Rating: R rated for language and adult/sexual situations

Series: Fruits Basket

Pairings: Haru x Kyou

Genre: ?

Archive: If you like... just tell me where. I'm inclined to be a pessimist, so I doubt anyone would want to, but hey...

...

Autumn

Chapter 6: Reflecting the Light

You can only stare into the mirror so long before you start to fear your reflection. It's easy to scare yourself, plant that seed of doubt deep into your soul, burying it until it's rooted and started to blossom into a flower of self-isolation. Yet, isolation is a desire unfounded in me; what I see in Kyou, the similarities, only drive me to reach harder, move closer. Doubtless, some narcissistic quality, threaded through my rent personality, is at fault for my captivation; or perhaps I'm realizing that the qualities that I fear so much in myself, are the same traits that draw me to Kyou. His monster reflects my own; a thousand little traits, trapped, reflected on a multifaceted surface. It makes every flaw, every fear, that much more prevalent, obvious. To face that, even from an opposite perspective, is daunting. Yet, there is something so tragically beautiful about a sundered soul, that despite the fear, I can't help but want to look deeper. Even if that means facing myself, and meeting my own demons on unfamiliar ground.

I glanced around at the empty halls, the lights flickering off in interspersed patterns, leaving only the odd numbered ceiling lights to illuminate the intersections and stairwells, washing them in pale fluorescent glow. The washed out colors of the sterile stone and linoleum hummed back at me with an echo of emptiness, the clicking of my boots the only sound that returned to my ears, as I wandered the corridors of the deserted school. I imagined the ghosts of countless eyes turning to follow my progress through school, watching me make my way down the hall, heads leaning to stare as I slip around a corner. I cleared my throat as I banished the lingering memory. It unnerves me, even, the way others stare.

People look at us differently. Each of us, in turn, as if they can see the animal we share a soul with, as if we are wearing our malady on our sleeve. Their eyes search us for any recognizable differences that might seep through to the surface, anything that might strip us naked to their view and expose the things that keep us at arms length from the rest of the world. I'm not sure if they even realize how hard they stare, how deeply they search. Sometimes, I have to fight to keep the monster within from slipping out to roar the truth back in the face of their critical and passionate search. Instead, I swallow my insecurity and my fear, drowning them beneath the false sense of apathy that I cloak myself in. Kyou simply runs. He flees the scene, anger sparking in his wake like the remains of lightning, left scattered like a trail of electric corpses.

Eyes seem to follow each of us, questioning our every movement, no matter how mundane and ordinary each of us attempted to be. Perhaps they search for their own reflection, scanning the surface of passersby, delving deeper with a glance; looking for someone that they feel represents themselves, or their opposite. I suppose, I am guilty of the same curiosity; wondering what exactly was trapped inside any person, what made them different from each other, what made them so vastly dissimilar to we Sohma's. It was akin to how I watch Kyou; attempting to fathom what separated the curse of the cat from the curse weighed on the remainder of the damned Sohma clan. All the magic and possibility, even the curious enchantment of such a thing, seemed anything but cruel, and yet, somehow, it was the most devilish of circumstances. A hell that I could sympathize with, even as I could not imagine the full extent of such unfairness. It's no wonder Kyou chooses to run.

The last of the lights were flickering out, the glow of late afternoon filtered in from windows and door to lay yellowed lines across the floors and walls. I watched the dust dancing the rays, stirred in the push of air as I passed each slanting beam of sunlight. As warm as the golden radiance appeared to be, it only served to remind me of the chill of the world around me, the crispness of lengthening autumn. I glanced up from the scattering of light that painted the halls, my eyes following the corridor to the end. A door stood between myself and the outside, the rectangle windows crisscrossed with a fencing of diamonds laid between panes of glass. My eyes unfocused with every other step as I moved closer to the odd pattern. My destination loomed closer, and I pulled the collar closed on my uniform jacket, ready for the onslaught of cool wind that would try to slip beneath my clothes and steal the warmth my body had created underneath the cloth. Reaching the exit, I pushed open the metal door, and it swung wide, releasing me into the late autumn day.

My eyes unfocused as I crossed my arms over my chest, subduing a shiver at the sudden drop in temperature. It was not an uncomfortable change; instead, it perked my senses, even as it set my mind to wandering. Automatically, my feet took up following the concrete pathway that wound about the grounds to the gate. I wondered if anyone else were still at school so late. My thoughts circled, again, the differences between those ordinary children of the world, and the demons I knew so intimately. Demons who harbored little evil aside from fear, and ordinary people who were afflicted with more evils than any hell-born specter that roved the earth. Not for the first time, I wondered who the true Mephistophelian creatures were. Those, whose eyes would accuse, who's hearts would damn; or we, who strive only for a release from a curse we never asked to bear. We, who only want to be accepted for who we are, rather than recognized and hated simply for the hell cast on us for the crimes of ancestors we know little of.

I swallowed the resentment that had begun to flood the back of my throat like bile, and refocused my attention on the gate that stood before me. I stopped just inside, wondering which way would lead me farthest away from my thoughts. As I stepped beyond the pillar, escaping the confining arms of stone that stretched the grounds, I fought to release my thoughts from their prison of reflection in vain. Choosing a direction blindly, I wandered no more than a few steps before halting, my eyes inexorably drawn from my inward vision. Red-gold hair caught my attention, sucking me from my world of weak introspection. Kyou. I glanced up at the gate that held the grounds peacefully behind their stone and iron arms. It had been more than two hours since the building had emptied, and I wondered at his lingering presence. I regained my pace, slowly moving in his direction, my feet silent on the concrete. Kyou was leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest; one leg folded, foot pressed back to the stone. His head was resting back against the stone and his face was turned up toward the sky, crimson eyes closed in an unusually peaceful patience.

I stood a moment, watching the wind play with his bangs, sweeping them across his brows, the ends dancing over his eyelids. His brows furrowed at the touch, and it seemed his senses awakened a bit at the winds soft kiss. His head rolled toward me, only slightly, and concentration stirred his countenance out of peacefulness. A moment later, his eyes slipped open, and he glanced at me from behind his lashes. His eyes narrowed at me; his lids were like slits, catlike and almost feral. Kyou lowered his head to meet mine, his face no longer leveled with a sky he could not see. He stared at me in what seemed like expectation for long seconds, his brows drawing together in agitation at my silence. I simply gazed back at him, unsure of the silent questions that drifted mutely toward my conscience.

"Where have you been?" Kyou's voice was smooth as he broke the silence. It was absent of the annoyance I'd expected.

"Here." I shrugged at him and glanced back at the school. I returned my gaze to meet his eyes.

"I'd have never guessed." His sarcasm hinted at his usual annoyance. He hated vague answers, my own were his bane at the moment. "Why where you wandering around in school after hours?" I shrugged in response.

"Were you waiting for me?" I meet his eyes, expressionless.

"No." His voice was flavored with something akin to a sneering dismissal. Kyou rolled his eyes and pushed away from the wall. His bag began to slip from his shoulder, and he shrugged it back into place, his arms never uncrossing.

"Who are you waiting for?" I gestured toward the gate, the school.

"Who said I was waiting for anyone?" His voice was defensive, slipping into higher octaves as he spoke.

"Oh." I raised my eyebrows. Kyou sighed and narrowed his eyes; I watched the muscles in his jaw work as he clenched his teeth. He turned to walk away, but stopped after only two steps. His back was to me, his shoulders rising in a defensive manner, before slumping slightly.

"What if I were...?" He turned back around as he spoke, his eyes almost hooded. "Waiting on you." He clarified.

"It makes all the difference." I smiled at him; his returning glare seemed less than dangerous.

"What difference?" Kyou's question was meaningless. I shrugged at him again.

"Why were you waiting for me?" I walked toward him, and he turned as I continued past him. Kyou fell into step beside me.

"Nothing better to do." I raised an eyebrow at him, but he was not looking at me. His eyes were focused ahead of us, seemingly intent on our destination, though we had none.

"Oh." I shrugged, uninterested in pursuing the inquiry. Often I had no satisfactory explanation for my actions, either. 'Why's' mattered little in the end, anyway.

We followed the concrete sidewalk that lined the street until the school had disappeared; turn after turn and step after step, the building slipped farther behind us with each. Shoulder to shoulder, our walk took us miles, and I didn't care in which direction. I kept my eyes in front of me, content to catch his movements, his cat-like peculiarities, in my peripheral vision. His eyes seemed equally inclined to remain gazing boredly ahead of us. On occasion, his shoulder would touch mine, and he would grunt in agitation, stepping sideways to increase the distance between us, before drifting closer once again, to repeat what had become a ritual of our travel.

"Where are we going, anyway?" Kyou pressed his lips into a thin line, glancing to take in our surroundings. He frowned and slowed his steps. I slowed to keep pace with him.

"I don't know." I raised an eyebrow. I had just begun walking for the sake of movement. I hadn't expected Kyou to come along.

"What?" Kyou stopped, unamused with my aimless wandering, and turned to face me.

"I don't kn..." I started to repeat my statement as I turned to watch him.

"I heard you the first time!" He interrupted my sentence. "This is how you get lost all the time, isn't it?" I could only nod. His shoulder slumped as the agitation drained away. "Do you know where we are, now?" Kyou raised an eyebrow at me.

"No." I shrugged.

"That's fucking wonderful!" I smiled at his sarcastic outburst, wondering why it bothered him so much. He scowled at my response.

"Do you know where we are?" I watched the confusion play on his face before it was replaced with a slightly calculating expression. I frowned at him.

"No." Kyou shrugged his pack back into place as it tried to slip off his shoulder. "You even managed to get me lost, you stupid cow." Somehow, Kyou didn't seem that upset, despite his apparent agitation.

"You didn't have to come." I shrugged and began walking again, my pace slow. Kyou fell into step beside me once again.

"Why do you always say that?" His eyes narrowed but he didn't look at me. I turned to watch his profile. It seemed he was both annoyed and worried by my statement, and both emotions seemed to mix smoothly into his voice and expression. Kyou had asked a difficult question.

"You always make me feel as if I should." I shrugged. "I often regret that I didn't warn you that joining me might ruin your day."

"It doesn't ruin my day." His voice was low, offended.

"Oh." I fought a smile.

"I just..." He paused. "If I didn't want to come, I wouldn't."

"Ah." I smiled at him. Kyou frowned at me.

"What?" His question was more demand.

"I was just wondering if that means you actually like me." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"So what if I do?" His eyes darkened with agitation at my prodding.

"Very unobvious, kitten." I commented idly, laughing softly. Kyou was not amused.

"Whatever. And I told you not to call me that!" He growled, but did not seem very angry. Kyou did not claim to have any friends. He had never even admitted that Tohru was truly his friend. I took his vague confirmation to heart, honestly happy to be considered such, even as I longed for more.

The day grew later, and the sun streamed at sharper angled, the shadows of naked trees reached long across the ground, and fell in dark stripes over us as we passed. I glanced up as we walked; grey clouds bumped into one another, merging as they drifted across the pale sky. The horizon was bright where the sun hung, reddish-gold light painting the backs of the trees in a glow that lit only half of the heavens. I turned to follow the colored light as it faded to a dusky grey. Darkness bled from the east, dim and stormy natured, as if just below, a tempest waited to rise and roar at the peace. I wondered if it would rain. The air was growing slowly chillier, and I flexed my fingers, working the blood through my cold hands.

"My hands are cold." Kyou's complaint echoed my thoughts, and I watched him rubbing his palms together. He sighed. "Which way is Shigure's?" He wasn't asking me.

"This way?" I offered, unsure, pointing in the direction we were already heading. He frowned at me, but quickened his pace, steady in the direction I had indicated.

"Shigure's house faces east, so we need to go left." Kyou nodded to himself, mapping the world in his own way. I tried to take note of his directional prowess. At the next street, we turned left, following yet another road until Kyou's eyes found familiarity. "This way." Kyou urged me to follow him.

"Are you sure?" I could not figure out how turning right would take us to our cousin's house, but followed Kyou despite my doubts.

"Of course I'm sure." Kyou growled his confidence. We followed the new road farther down, the sun glaring ruddy behind us. When we stopped, Kyou pointed to a spot across the street, and I recognized it immediately. It was his path through the woods. "The trail."

"I remember." I remembered the morning sun reflecting off Kyou's skin as he practiced, and I remembered twisting the briar free of his hair.

"You should. You attacked me the last time we were on that path." He mumbled the words under his breath.

"Attacked you?" I queried.

"Don't pretend you don't remember ki...!" He stopped suddenly and narrowed his eyes at me. "Never mind. Let's go." Kyou stepped quickly across the street, disappearing into the shallow woods. I stood a moment longer, wondering what he had left off the sentence. I couldn't remember what I had done when I had turned 'Black'. "Come on, Haru!" My feet began moving in response to Kyou's impatient shout.

I moved slowly through the brush, avoiding scraggly branches and briars as I worked my way towards Kyou's disappearing form. It was cooler in the forest, and the shadows were deeper, giving the illusion of early dusk. The entire area seemed somehow more alive, the smell of soft dirt and dry leaves rising from the forest floor was awakening, and the many trees buffered the wind even as it sang through the treetops. I pushed my way through another thick tangle, sidestepping a downed log, and stepped into a familiar clearing. To my left, I found a rather large tree trunk, spotted with old mushroom growth, where I had sat, not long ago, stroking Kyou's soft hair. To my right, Kyou stood, shifting impatiently as he waited on me. I wondered at his edginess.

"Hurry up." I shrugged apologetically in my cousin's direction and moved across the clearing toward him. "You go first." Kyou pointed toward the thickly cluttered opening in the brush. I wondered if the brambles, or I, were the reason his eyes seemed so accusing and suspicious.

"Yes, master." My sarcasm won me no points. Shrugging, I pushed my way through, ahead of Kyou, narrowly missing the thorny vines. Kyou followed behind me, slipping through easily, untouched by even the most benign tendril.

"Keep going." Kyou urged me ahead of him, as if he were afraid I would follow too closely. I glanced back after moving a few steps, to find him lagging behind me. I contemplated the distance he purposely kept between us.

Thunder echoed overhead, halting our progress. The day seemed as clear and even-tempered as had been, and the rumble seemed out of place. I glanced up at the sky, the pale grey still stretched overhead; there was no sign of the stormy eastern night bleeding further into the sky, but I worried that rain would spill regardless. As I filtered the thought, I could feel the chill of wetness spatter my skin. I turned to glance at Kyou, his face had darkened and his eyes seemed both annoyed and weak. Rain had always pushed him into a depression of sorts, his monster raging inside, hating the rain with all the ferocity of a cat. The light drizzle continued even while the sun shone, lighting the sky in the hours before evening. I turned at the cat's urging to hurry along the path, pushing through the brush at a careful, but quickened pace. If it weren't for the chill, and the Kyou's reaction, I would have enjoyed watching the rain fall through the streaming light. It was rare to see even a light fall while the sun shone, without the masking dark of cloud cover.

"Finally." Kyou's mumbled sigh of relief slipped out as we reached the end of the trail, at last emerging into the back yard.

Kyou pushed passed me, again taking the lead, as we crossed they yard to the house. I followed him inside, leaving my muddy boots on the steps beside his equally dirk-caked shoes. The rain stopped suddenly, and I heard Kyou sigh in relief. I marveled at the odd weather a moment before turning to follow my cousin into the house. Almost immediately upon entering the house, Kyou headed for the stairs, retreating to his room. I questioned if I should follow, even as I echoed his steps on the stairs. He slung his door open, sliding it out of the way almost violently, and slipped into his room; his socked feet padding quietly over the wood floor. I stood in the doorway, waiting to be invited in. Kyou seemed to have dismissed his earlier mood; no longer clouded with wariness and distrust, he had returned to the habitual short-tempered disposition one could normally associate with the cat. I was relieved by the change.

"Shut the door, would you?" Kyou sighed in irritation as he rummaged through his closet, tossing a pair of dark jeans over his shoulder. A moment later he backed away, a small black shirt clenched in his hand as he slung the closet door closed. I closed the door behind me as I stepped into the room.

"You are going to change." My statement was rather redundant. Kyou pulled his damp uniform jacket off, tossing it to the floor unceremoniously, and shook his head. His hair flung tiny beads of water in every direction before falling to limply veil his eyes once again.

"It is my room." Kyou's eyes were focused on the buttons of his shirt. I watched his fingers nimbly freeing each pearly fastening until his shirt fell open halfway, revealing some of the taut skin beneath. I squinted at him, amused.

"You're going to let me watch?" I wondered if I was becoming a bit masochistic. The change in his attitude was something I felt almost physically.

"What? No, you fucking bastard!" Kyou's voice rose in offended ire, his eyes narrowing almost dangerously. "If you watch, it's not because I let you, it's because you're a fucking pervert!" I laughed softly at him, dizziness driving my laughter to an audible chuckle. My eyes unfocused as pain lanced through the side of my skull before it dissipated, and my mind cleared again. I cocked my head at him, ignoring his curious scowl.

"You are only fooling yourself." I took a step toward the angry cat.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I grinned at his wariness; he hid it skill-lessly beneath his anger and disgust. I snorted softly.

"Hmm. You want me to watch..." I raised my brows at him and took another step toward him. "Isn't that right, kitten?" His eyes widened at the endearment. He knew I meant it as more of an expletive.

"Fuck you!" His hands fisted, and his body became rigid; Kyou was ready for a fight. I was ready for a different kind of fight.

"Later." I mocked him. "For now, why don't you finish what you started?" I raised an eyebrow at him, grinning crookedly.

"Fuck you!" I chuckled.

"My, what a limited vocabulary." I paused, smirking. "Or perhaps you've become a bit single-minded." He growled in disgust.

"You're sickening!" I nodded at him.

"So you've told me." I shrugged. "I think you like it." I scrunched my nose at him and took another step toward him, stopping little more than arms length from him. He had yet to move; it seemed he had relinquished control to me, reacting rather than acting. He fought to deny his enjoyment of the situation.

"Get out." His words came out low, harsh.

"Aww, be nice, kitten." I winked at him as I stepped to my right and pulled out the chair that had been pushed against Kyou's desk. I turned it to face Kyou and took a seat, crossing my ankle over my knee as I leaned back.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kyou's breath had become more shallow.

"I'm sitting down to watch the show." I gestured toward him. Kyou glanced down at his open shirt and blushed before tugging it closed.

"I'm not a fucking whore! I'm not stripping for you, asshole!" Kyou seemed nervous. Shame was a beautiful thing, indeed.

"Please?" I patronized him. He nearly stomped in angry defiance. I raised my eyebrows and stood, stepping closer to him. I wondered how close I could get before he swung, relishing the thought of contact with the cat. He refused to back down, even as my hands moved up to grip his hips. I tugged him forward until he crashed into me. In response, his hands reached up to grip my arms in an attempt to wrest some control and balance. I pressed my forehead to his, my eyes staring hard into his defiant crimson orbs. "Come on, do it for me, kitten." I pleaded.

"N... No." He fought to raise his voice above a whisper. "Let me go!" His voice strained for volume, for power. I puffed amusement, my breath kissing his skin as his lips parted to speak again. "S... stop it, Haru." I shook my head softly, rocking my forehead against his.

"Only if you do as I say." I whispered the words slowly, before I brushed the tip of my tongue against his bottom lip. Kyou sucked in his breath. He was offering me control, giving in. I smiled broadly, narrowing my eyes in appreciation. Kyou needs to be forced, controlled; he can't let go on his own. He is a true submissive, gaining his own control by giving in. I was happy to oblige.

Kyou's hands released my arms and fell to his sides. He stood still a moment before sighing quietly; I felt his hands snake up to slip between us. The cat's fingers worked at the buttons of his shirt, his knuckles pressing into my chest as he fought to unhook the cloth and plastic. I backed away slowly, allowing him room to work. His chin fell to his chest; I wasn't sure if he were staring at the floor, or watching his own fingers. I let my hands fall from his hips to my own sides and stepped back farther, my eyes never leaving his thin frame. Eventually, his fingers could find no more buttons, and the cloth fell to either side, baring his chest. I continued my backward steps until I felt the wooden chair at the back of my legs. Slowly, I sank into the chair, relaxing into the seat as Kyou continued to obey.

A deep blush crawled over Kyou's skin as he slid the shirt off his shoulders. I watched it slip down his arms to hang at his wrists. The cat's chest rose and fell in breaths that very nearly shuddered. My eyes began to burn as I watched, and I growled low in my throat in irritation. At the sound, Kyou seemed to catch his breath, immediately shaking the shirt free of his hands. It floated to the floor to pool about his feet. My head swam and I shook it vigorously, trying to clear it. Kyou took a deep breath, his hands reluctantly inching toward the button of his pants. My eyes unfocused and I leaned forward, rubbing at my eyes. When my eyes cleared, I glanced up, my vision stopping on Kyou.

I stared, confusedly, at the slender form of my crimson-eyed cousin. I had only been joking when I'd mentioned watching, but I couldn't tear my gaze from his actions, gather my senses enough to explain it to him. Instead, my eyes followed his long, slim fingers as they tugged the zipper of his pants down and began to push the cloth away. I stood slowly and moved toward him, intent on stopping the action. He failed to notice my approach, or if he did notice, he intentionally failed to respond, continuing to undress before me. I came to stand in front of him, reaching out to take his hands in mine; I guided them to drag the cloth back to his hips. I was so close I could feel his breath on my collar, warming the silver of the chain that hung against my chest. Kyou's hands slipped away to fall at his sides.

"Haru." His whisper was breathy and nervous. I frowned and refastened the front of his pants slowly. His arms lifted and I felt his hands come to rest just below my shoulders, his fingers holding tightly to my biceps.

"Kyou..." Before I could finish my sentence, Kyou's face turned up toward mine; his eyes were closed, lashes slightly damp. I held my breath as he pressed his lips to mine; sloppy and tentative, he forced himself against me. For a moment I didn't respond, my heart wrenching with both excitement and an enormous sense of guilt. I gave in to the kiss, and returned the gesture of affection gently. When we broke apart, Kyou's eyes were wide.

"Haru?" His brows furrowed. I smiled at him, my hands stroking his sides gently. Kyou gasped in sudden realization, and pushed me away as he stumbled backward. His face darkened in anger, even as his skin rouged itself in a blush. "When did you turn back?" He demanded, back arched and elbows bent to hover his fists before him. My smile slipped away quickly.

"The last thing I remember is you yelling at me..." I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair. "And then you were taking off your shirt. I got up to stop you..." I glanced at him apologetically. I knew 'Black' Haru had urged his actions, but I wondered at his acquiescence.

"You were normal that... that whole time?" I almost wanted to deny it, to save him the embarrassment. His anger had given way to an almost panicked confusion. I nodded weakly. We stared at each other for a few moments before I spoke again.

"When I was... 'Black'." I was curious, yet at the same time, I didn't want to ask him. I knew he didn't want to talk about it. Kyou's eyes softened even as they narrowed at me. "Why did you...?" I nearly smiled.

"You forced me to do it!" He nearly shrieked the accusation. I frowned at him.

"Forced you?" I clenched my jaw in thought. Kyou remained silent. "Since when are you afraid of 'Black' Haru, let alone anyone?" I tilted my head to the side. I was wary of his anger, but I could not stop digging for a truthful answer.

"I'm not afraid of 'Black' Haru!" Kyou spat the words at me, his icy tone battering my now confused sense of happiness.

"Then why...?" He interrupted me again.

"I fucking wanted to, you fucking idiot!" He shouted, but his anger died as the words fell from his lips. He'd let slip something he had not intended. I raised my eyebrows. Kyou had told me, only a few hours earlier, if he didn't want to do something, he wouldn't. Perhaps, this too, fell into that category. I smiled at him, lighting the fire of his outrage once again.

"Oh." I couldn't stop smiling.

"There is no 'oh', you smug bastard." Kyou pointed toward the door. "Get out!" I smiled even as I turned to leave.

I closed Kyou's door behind me and leaned against the wall beside it. My hand drifted up to scratch at my head, falling back to my side as I licked my lips. I relived the kiss a moment, before focusing my attention of the cursing and slamming in the room. I heard another string of curses, and the sound of rustling cloth reached my ears. Kyou continued to berate himself and curse me into eternity before I heard him stomp across the room. The raspy slide of the balcony door was followed by a straining grunt. A moment later, Kyou's footsteps echoed through the roof as the cat climbed his way to the highest spot on the house. I surmised that he needed time to ease his indignity and think. Shrugging, I pushed myself away from the wall and followed the stairs down to the hall.

I silently thanked 'Black' Haru for his evils as I took a seat at the kotatsu. Shigure, thankfully, wasn't home, but I almost wished that Tohru and Yuki were there to keep me company. Rethinking, even Shigure would be a welcome distraction from my desire to join Kyou on the roof. The sun was falling below the horizon, and the chill of late fall was flooding the house through the open door. It was almost too late in the season to allow the air to flow in so freely. I rose and wandered out onto the porch and took a seat on the edge near the steps. I lifted my boots and began to beat the drying mud from the soles. It fell away in clumps, some softer patches of brown sticking more soundly, marring the solid black surface. I sighed as I realized I would have to clean and polish them before I wore them again.

I slipped my partially clean boots on over my feet; my toes grew colder at the touch of the snug leather, the chill and the cool mud sapping any comfort from the footwear. I laced them carefully, fumbling with the many buckles and straps as I unhurriedly fastened them to my ankles. I tugged my pants down over them and stood, tapping the sides of my feet against the steps, dislodging more of the filth, before stepping into the damp grass. I refrained from glancing up at the roof. When I reached a relatively open area beneath a bare tree, I began stretching, loosening up my muscles in preparation for martial arts. As I moved through each action, mimicking what I had been taught, my mind cleared. The world faded away until I was lost in the movements, the air singing as I cut it with each kick or punch. My breath grew quick and shallow as I worked, the cold air refreshing my lungs even as I tired. Sweat beaded on my skin, but I continued, drifting aimlessly in the blankness of concentrated meditation. I could continue for hours, mindlessly bending my muscles to the will of martial skill.

"Hey!" A voice broke through my concentration, returning me to the world. I glanced around near blindly. It had grown dark, dusk slipping in to drown the color from the world, and I idly wondered how long I had been practicing. "You're still doing it wrong." I focused on the direction of the voice as I recognized it.

"What?" My voice cracked as I spoke and I smiled at myself. I wiped at my forehead, sweeping the sweat away. I realized then, that my skin was icy to the touch, even as I was sweating with exertion, hot beneath my clothes.

"Hold on." I heard a thump as Kyou dropped to the ground. His footsteps echoed on the wooden porch as he climbed the steps and retreated into the house. A moment later, Kyou flicked on a light and the glow flooded the inner room, silhouetting the cat in the doorway. I watched him as he stepped back outside into weaker light, squatting to slip on his shoes. Hopping down from the steps, Kyou crossed the yard and joined me beneath the large tree. "You have to do it like this." Kyou moved slowly, sweeping through the movement like an instructor.

"Ah." I imitated his movements, arcing my arm as I skimmed the air, dropping to slice back across horizontally as I turned. Kyou nodded, his face now visible in the pale light that slipped across the backyard from the door. He incorporated the movement into a much more complex set of actions, and urged me to imitate him. I copied him once again, and he nodded in approval.

"You a quick learner." His gruff tone did not hide the compliment. I smiled and began the precise movements I had done earlier, easily integrating the improvements into my style. Kyou practiced along side me, and we mirrored each other, synchronized in each action. Satisfied that I was doing the art properly, Kyou hummed his approval and walked away, taking a seat on the porch. I repeated the moves once more before joining him.

"Thank you." I smiled as I took a seat next to him, regretting the distance I allowed between us. Kyou grunted.

"You should call Hatori." Kyou cleared his throat. "Shigure isn't coming back tonight, and Tohru and Yuki said last night that they had plans for the evening. They are visiting that yankee." Kyou snorted and leaned back, his hands braced against the porch floor, arms locked straight behind him.

"Where is Shigure?" I wondered aloud.

"Who cares, as long as that pervert isn't here?" Kyou snorted, amused with his insult. I smiled as he glanced over at me, responding to his not-so-cruel humor. "Ah, I think he's visiting with Ayame." I nodded.

I stared out across the yard, watching the meager light catch the leaves and twigs as the wind tumbled them across the ground. It dawned on me that it had become a ritual to sit on the porch with Kyou, staring out at nothing. I glanced over at Kyou and caught him starring at me once again. I realized too, that he did that more often lately. His eyes darted away from me, unfocused; it seemed his vision was concentrated inward, rather than outside at the late evening. My eyes fixed on Kyou, searching deeper, trying to ease that separation, that line that was drawn between each and every person on earth. It seemed to have faded. All the similarities, all the comparisons I had made between us had never eased that divide as much as the simple revelation that Kyou felt something deeper than the mild care he'd revealed on his own. I realized that, perhaps, I would never figure out what separated us from the rest of the world, or even from each other, as no one could know what separated any one person from any other. Yet, I contented myself in the fact that, regardless, people could still move closer, even merge, defying all logic of space and time. It was a comforting feeling.

"So, you've forgiven me?" I asked quietly. Kyou swung his head in my direction. I wondered if he knew what I was asking, what it encompassed. From the first wrong I'd dealt him, to the most recent affront.

"No." The word was sharp.

"Ah." I shrugged and turned away. We lapsed into silence once again.

"But... I'll think about it." Kyou's mumble made me smile. I hoped his consideration encircled such a vast array of my own sins against him. Somehow, it seemed Kyou was speaking of more than just today.

"I think I should go call Hatori." I stood from the porch and retreated inside, searching for the phone. I dialed Hatori's number and spoke with him briefly, then returned to the porch, taking a seat next to Kyou, closer this time.

"When is he coming?" I shrugged.

"He's not." I looked over at Kyou. "I have to walk." Kyou tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, the smooth column of his neck stretching in a beautiful line. I sighed and turned back to the darkened yard.

Autumn was dying before me, giving way to the cold and bleak season of winter. Despite the chill and fading color, I felt a little warmer. I glanced back at Kyou, his cheeks colored pink from the chill as his warmth fought to sustain him. He brought color with him, in a sense. And somehow, despite his efforts to contain it, his warmth bled out a little too. It was wrapping me in its thin fingers. I smiled and inched toward Kyou. He glanced over at me but didn't protest. Relaxing, I let my leg press against his, the warmth that was soaking through his clothes, and through mine, was a comfortable bridge that connected us. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees; my chin pillowed on my laced fingers. I sighed as I thought back to my room, wondering how many more leaves I would have to sweep away before I could sleep.

...

A/N: Another chapter pushed out. I'm trying to break back in to the flow of this story, still searching for the voice. However, this chapter is still severely lacking. It moves too fast in some parts, lacking detail or quality, and other times, it drags a bit, overcrowded with meaningless words. I'll probably edit it later, (since I haven't even proofread the damn thing yet), and re-upload the chapter. This was going to replace chapter 5, but I've decided that I'm too lazy, so, I'll just leave 'crap chap.' up and add this one in. Maybe something interesting will happen soon. (Laughs) Hmm, a shorter a/n! - Edited the chapter now!

2: Thanks for the reviews. You people are nice to me even when I obviously had a severe spell of the 'sucks'. Hehe! I love how I was secret reviewed in e-mail because no one wanted to praise my garbage in public. Aww, it was purely to support me and get me back on track! And thanks for the journal comments too. Much love.